The last week has been weird. No matter what Sid says, I know that something is wrong or off with him. Lizzy and I have been staying at his place because he's worried about our safety. Nothing has happened, I've even been able to go to work, but he's still worried. It's very sweet. He's on the road right now, coming back tonight, but insisted we still stay at his place. Since I've gone back to work, the press doesn't bother me there. A few ones waited outside of Sid's apartment building but I have keys to go in another door so they don't see me. Miss Sally has been coming to Sid's to look after Lizzy. He arranged a car service for her.
Sid has been incredibly sweet and attentive but weird and distant too. I guess he doesn't know what to do any more than I do. This whole thing still feels surreal to me. Once at the diner and once at the grocery store, I thought there were teenage girls looking at me but I couldn't be sure why.
Sid comes home tonight and I'm off tomorrow. It will be so nice to be together. His apartment doesn't feel like home but I am comfortable and I've Lizzy-proofed it before something else is broken like the table. It's been really strange sleeping in Sid's huge bed alone. A few times Lizzy has joined me and I didn't send her back to the spare room. Maybe we both miss Sid when he's not here and look to each other. One of the things that I love, absolutely love, about being here is the en-suite laundry. I didn't even know that's what it's called but I can do laundry right in the apartment. I don't even mind doing Sid's shorts! Of course he keeps telling me that he'll take the laundry to the dry cleaner but that doesn't make sense to me when I'm perfectly capable of doing it.
As I fold the laundry now, I watch Lizzy having a tea party with the myriad of stuffed animals that Sid has bought her. At first I was worried about how much he was spoiling her; but, she says thank you every time and doesn't seem to expect it so I guess it's ok. Sid doesn't always bring her things which helps too. Right now, her stuffed penguin has the place of honour at the tea party. He always does which makes me wonder if she pretends that it is Sid. She misses him terribly when he travels; of course, so do I. Lizzy thinks Sid comes home tomorrow instead of today because he gets in so late that I don't want her waiting up for him.
When it's time for bed, Lizzy gives me some trouble. With all of the change in our lives, even the positive changes, it's so hard to keep her on a schedule and she balks at it constantly. Once in the tub, Lizzy plays with the bath time letters that Sid got her. We spell out different words using our names and penguin. It's a lot of fun and we play until the water starts getting a chill. Of course, getting out of the bath is another chore that Lizzy fights against. By the time I get her into bed and settled, I have a horrible headache. I take some aspirin, even though I hate taking pills, so that I can watch Sid's game. I do so in his bed and snuggled into his pillow so that I can breathe him in while watching him play. He's incredible. I've been reading about the teams and tonight they're playing a big rival, the Washington Capitals. Their star player is always compared to Sid although I don't get it. Reports are saying that in the last two years, Ovechkin has been going slowly downhill and not playing to his potential. How they can still compare him to Sid, who works incredibly hard on and off the ice, is beyond my understanding. Ovechkin seems lazy and almost disrespectful of his gift. By contrast, Sid does everything like he's the worst player in the league and trying to get better every day. Not that I'm at all biased of course. That's my last thought as I fall asleep
We split the games on the road. We had to come back three times from a deficit tonight but we won. There was a lot of ice being strapped to guys on the flight home from bumps and bangs. I needed some myself for my ankle after blocking a shot. It's still tender but no damage that's going to hang on. I'm just tired after the fast road trip. This shortened season is definitely a sprint, only the strong are going to survive it and it just might kill us all.
I feel a little lighter as I walk through the door at home. It's wonderful to come home to my girls. So much has changed so quickly in my life. Quietly, I look in at Lizzy sleeping. I can barely make her out in that huge bed but she's sleeping soundly. Just as quietly, I slip into our room where Cat is sleeping too. A couple of things strike me: I just called it our bedroom and Cat looks equally as tiny as Lizzy was. The TV is on and the Kings game is finishing. It probably came on after our game. I feel that familiar and instant tug looking at Cat, she's heartbreakingly beautiful, and then something else tugs that I try to ignore.
Quickly I undress and turn off the TV and lights then slip into bed. I slide into the middle of the bed and pull Cat into my arms. The sigh that pushes out of me feels like coming home and exactly where I'm supposed to be. Cat snuggles into my arms. In minutes, I'm asleep.
"Sidwee" I hear a whisper. "Sidwee" again.
I open my eyes and see Lizzy standing beside the bed.
"Sidwee?"
"Good morning princess. Come here" I say and pull her into the bed.
Lizzy giggles as she climbs on top of me.
"Mommy said it's ok to wake you now cause it's time."
She's so cute. I know that Cat shows Lizzy on the clock what number it has to be before she can wake me up. I don't need to set the alarm anymore.
"How's my girl?"
"Turrrific" she says. It's her favourite new word.
"Terrific!"
"Will you play hippos?"
She loves playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos and she's as competitive as I am which is saying a lot. We have great matches which Cat stays far away from. We tend to get very loud when we play. The game itself is loud and then Lizzy gets even louder.
"Ok, after breakfast princess."
"I had breakfast."
"Are you trying to be tricky? I mean my breakfast silly" I tease her and start tickling.
Lizzy squirms, shouts and giggles and I attack.
"So this is how you like to wake up" Cat says from the door.
Both Lizzy and I look up.
"There are other ways if you're interested" I tell her with a wink.
Cat rolls her eyes, shakes her head and leaves the room. Lizzy scampers out of the bed and room after her. It doesn't take me long to get dressed and join them out in the kitchen. I notice that Cat is talking on her phone.
"That's great" she says to whoever she's speaking.
As I pull the orange juice out of the fridge, cat taps my arm.
"Sure" she says into the phone.
When I'm looking at her, she mouths 'your mom.' Oh, she's talking to my mom. When did she start talking to my mom?
"That's great Trina. Email me the details and we'll arrange it. I'll let Sid know too."
She'll let me know something about my parents! Really?
"Ok, bye Trina." Cat turns to me as she hangs up the phone.
"You've been talking to my mom?" I ask.
"Yeah, she called me the day you left on the road trip. She said that she wanted to see how Lizzy and I were doing."
"That's just like her" I tell Cat. I guess that I should have expected mom to check in on Cat.
"She's really sweet Sid. She just told me that they're coming in tomorrow. I didn't ask her of course, but, um" she stops.
It takes me a minute for me to catch on.
"Oh, they don't stay here Cat. I could have a twenty room home and they would stay at the hotel. Dad has his routines."
Cat chuckles. "I love how you guys call them 'routines' when they are clearly superstitions bordering on psychosis. Knowing all of yours, I can't be surprised that you dad has a few."
"Yeah, well, we all have routines." I'm always uncomfortable talking about them. It is what it is.
"Your parents obviously know that we're staying here. Are they ok with it?"
She sounds worried. I was too when I first told them.
"They were surprised when I first told them Cat. I've never lived with anyone before so they were surprised. They aren't against it. They're just, I guess they're old fashioned; but, they understand the circumstances and they are going to love you both when they meet you."
Cat bites her bottom lip. Should I have told her that everything was fine? Should I have simply said they can't wait to meet her and leave it there? Fuck.
"Cat, seriously, they're going to love you. I can't wait for them to meet you."
That at least is the truth. I'm really looking forward to my parents meeting Cat and Lizzy. She still looks nervous so maybe I should share how I'm feeling too.
"Ok, I'm nervous too Cat but not for the reason you might think." I pause here and try to figure out how to say this right. "Cat, I've never been in love before and I've definitely never introduced the girl I love to my parents. It's new to me and I have no idea what I'm doing. I do know that they're going to love you and Lizzy. It's new for all of us but we'll figure it out, ok?"
I wait a few moments and finally relax when Cat sighs and smiles.
"Ok Sid. I really am looking forward to meeting them you know. Your mom has been so sweet. She actually talked to Lizzy yesterday too. It was really cute. Lizzy has only had Miss Sally other than me so it was great to see them interact."
That gives me an idea. "Cat, while my parents are here, why don't we have a family dinner with Miss Sally too? It won't be our first dinner but let's do it before they leave."
Cat smiles and asks "are you sure?"
I take Cat into my arms and say "of course. Miss Sally is your family and our families are meeting."
Cat pulls away and looks up at me. Her eyes are wet but she's still smiling.
"Sid" she pauses to take a deep if unsteady breath. "Thank you. That would mean a lot to all of us."
I pull her close again. This small moment is perfect, just perfect, and I can't wait for my parents to meet her. This is the girl that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and whose daughter will become mine too. Wow, I'm going to be a dad.
"Sidwee! Hippos!" Lizzy calls from the other room.
Cat and I both laugh.
"Moment disturbed" I say.
"Get used to it" Cat replies.
I kiss her, grab my orange juice and head into the living room where Lizzy has the game set up for us. Thus commences the Hungry, Hungry Hippos marathon of 2013.
The day with Sid was incredible. We had a lazy, family day playing games, taking naps and just being together. It made my heart yearn for the future we could have together. Unfortunately I woke up this morning yearning for something else.
Sid put Lizzy to bed last night, at her request of course. She loves it when Sid reads her a story. He makes voices for the characters in the books. The first time he did it, she got more wound up and didn't get to sleep for over an hour. Since then, he's learned to do the first story in the voices, they both love it, and then the second story softly when puts her right to sleep. When Sid came to bed, I had my own ideas for him that had nothing to do with sleep. When he's away for so many days, I miss him so much; especially here, in bed. But last night was unexpected and disappointing. For the first time since we got together, Sid didn't want to have sex. He said that he was tired from the trip. He was clearly odd and something else that I couldn't put my finger on; but, when he got into bed, he pulled me into his arms and went to sleep. I was left confused and still am.
Thankfully, I'm too preoccupied right now being nervous as I wait for Sid's parents to arrive. Sid's napping before his game and Lizzy and I are making dinner for all of us. It's chicken, spaghetti and salad of course as all of his game day meals. The chicken has about an hour left which is perfect. Lizzy is placing the cutlery on the table. She must feel some of my nerves because she's been a little more moody than usual.
There's a light knock on the door. His parents are here and must realize that he's still sleeping. After a deep breath, I go to the door with Lizzy beside me gripping my hand tight. I take one more deep breath and then open the door.
"Cat!" Trina says and pulls me into a tight hug. I immediately hug her back. There's a strange connection I feel to her right away. I can't quite figure it out but I go on instinct and continue to hug her back.
"Trina, let the girl go" I look over Trina's shoulder and see Troy. "Come on Trina."
"Fine, fine" she pulls back. "Oh, you are even more beautiful in person Cat."
She kisses my cheek and then bends down to Lizzy.
"You are as pretty as a princess" Trina tells Lizzy.
"Pincess" Lizzy says.
I move back to let Troy and Trina inside. Troy turns to me and seems unsure what to do. Again, I go with my instincts and hug Troy too.
"Two pretty princesses" he says which makes me laugh.
We all get into the living room with cold drinks and then Lizzy takes over.
"You're Sidwee's mommy?" She asks Trina.
We all chuckle.
"Yes I am" Trina tells her.
"You're Sidwee's daddy?" She asks Troy.
"Yes I am" Troy tells her.
Lizzy looks from Troy to Trina and back again.
"I don't have a daddy" Lizzy announces. "Will you play tea party with me?" she asks Troy.
To his credit, Troy doesn't miss a beat.
"Sure Lizzy, let's have a tea party."
He takes Lizzy's hand and they go over to the toy area of the living room.
Trina moves to sit beside me on the sofa.
"I can't even count the number of times either Sidney or Taylor said something that stunned me."
I look into Trina's kind eyes grateful for her understanding. I've been really worried, although with no logical reason, that Sid's parents might at best think I'm only looking for a father for Lizzy and at worst that I'm looking for a rich father for Lizzy. I still don't get that feeling from Trina but I'll worry about it until she gets to know me.
"She's gorgeous Cat, she's a mini you" Trina says.
"Thank you" I reply as I look over at Lizzy. I know I'm grinning ear to ear. "When I was pregnant, I knew that I loved her unconditionally. What I didn't know was that I would fall in love with her. Every day brings joy watching her do or discover something new. You should see her skating with Sidney. She doesn't quite glide yet but she loves it."
"Sidney's teaching her to skate?" Trina asks. I can hear surprise in her voice but I can't read her expression.
"Yeah, he thought she would get a kick out of it and she has really come to love it. The skates are comical they're so small."
We both watch Lizzy as she pours make believe tea for Troy who holds up his pinky as he pretends to sip.
Trina clears her throat and appears to be thinking about how to say something when Sid walks in the room.
"Hey there" he says as he yawns and stretches.
He grins when he sees his dad having a tea party with Troy.
"Sidwee!" Lizzy says and runs to him so that he can scoop her up.
With Lizzy on one hip, Sid hugs his mom and then his dad before kissing Lizzy and making her giggle. Trina is watching them closely and, again, expressionless. What is that about?
"Let's sit down" Sid says and we all do.
They talk about the trip down and then how Taylor's team is doing. Lizzy stays on Sid's lap, her favourite place, and fiddles with his necklace running her tiny fingers over the 87. I notice the clock and see that we have to get dinner on the table for Sid to get to the rink on time.
Trina offers to help. Initially, I want to decline since they're guests. Then I remember that they aren't guests, they're Sid's parents, and she's probably cooked in this kitchen more than I have. We chat as we get everything heated and plated. It's nothing earth shattering or overly personal; we simply talk about the variations that Sid will allow in his pre-game meal, very few, and then Lizzy and the adventures of a three year old. When everything is on the table, we all dig in and I'm surprised to see Trina preparing a plate for Lizzy who is sitting between us. Trina notices me looking at her.
"Sorry dear, force of habit" she says and tries to slide the plate over to me.
"It's fine Trina. In fact, you have much more experience with this than I do." I'm surprised that I really do mean the words.
I wasn't sure how I'd respond to Sid's parents but I'm glad to see that I like them, so far. His dad is very funny and sweet man. He's the kind of dad you know will always have a hug ready for you. Trina is very kind and sweet too. I like her although I think she's still reserving judgment on me. Maybe I'm reserving a little judgment on her too. I hope we both come to good conclusions.