Wow, everyone who guessed said that Estonia was the Ravenclaw boy! But it's not just like you think.

For those of you who read TV troupes, I realized that Spain's personalities form a Five-Man Band. Spain is the Hero, of course. Conquistador is the Lancer, Gunner is the Big Guy, Fencer is the Smart Guy, and Grandma is the Chick.

If the Sorting is different than you would expect, I give reasons why. I tried to make things a bit different, but logical at the same time.

Edit: I just made a change that covered a MASSIVE interface spoiler.

The Sorting (POV switches to the person MacGonagall calls)

"Arlovskaya, Natalya!"

I walked towards the stool with the raggedy hat. So I was supposed to put it on, and then I would be sorted into a neat little category and then live with a bunch of people supposedly just like us? Joy. I put the hat on.

Hello.

Oh great. The hat talks.

You do know I can hear everything you think.

I gritted my teeth. Don't test me, hat. I can rip you to shreds any time I like. I have a knife up my sleeve, and-

Yes, yes, I know. And in your bra, t-

Don't. Test. Me.

"Miss Arlovskaya, are you all right?" asked Professor MacGonagall. "You're sweating."

"It's fine," I murmured. Hat, you are dead. Dead, you hear me? Dead. DEAD.

I'm a singing magical hat. You would have a hard time attempting to do so.

Shut up. I'll find a way. Fire, knives, water… cats.

Hm… you are stubborn. And resourceful. Let's take a look at those memories of yours, shall we?

You're not going anywhere near my memories, h-

Too late. Hm… yes, yes. You are a nation? Belarus, am I correct?

Doesn't matter.

I have had the honor of sorting nations only a handful of times. All have shown honor, courage, intelligence, ambition, willingness to work, and plenty of cunning, but all have been rather short of scruples and fair play.

And what's your point?

You, one who has lived for centuries, are infinitely deeper than the children I usually have the honor of Sorting. This may require some more time…

You're not- I mentally sighed. You've already been there, haven't you? In that case, go. Anything to get this over with.

…Done. Belarus, you are intelligent enough to make a decent Ravenclaw, but I'm afraid your talents lie elsewhere. You show honor in not making love potions, but your very essence is conjoined with politics and corrupt bargains, not to mention that your attitude is slightly… temperamental.

So?

You would make a poor Hufflepuff. Now, I thought that you would be an excellent Slytherin, but now I think otherwise.

Oh really? Why?

When it comes to you, your human self, you're straightforward and headstrong rather than cunning. You're unafraid, unabashed, and ready to take matters into your own hands rather than manipulate others. Perfect for Gryffindor. And you lack any real ambition, all you want is to become a stable nation and marry your brother—not necessarily in that order, of course. In that, I declare you-

"Gryffindor!"

There are more of you, aren't there? The Hat added. Perhaps I'll base my judgement on personality rather than history. You'd all be Slytherins if I didn't.

I walked to the table, where a stunned Harry was sitting with his equally shocked friends. "I'm with you, then?" I said. "Guess you'll just have to deal, da?"

I looked up as Professor MacGonagall called-

"Beilschmidt, Gilbert!"

I turned to Spain and said, "This is going to be awesome," in German. I put on the magical singing hat.

Hello. Another nation?

Ja. It is I, the awesome Prussia!

You know that I didn't need you to know that. I can read your mind. And your memories.

So you know how awesome I am?

And how awesome you are not. Remember the time Hungary-

SHUT UP!

-with a wooden mixing spoon, a can opener, and a pile of grapes-

SHUT UP!

Never mind about that…. Let's get down to business. Despite your personality, you're actually quite intelligent and hard-working. There's a lot of cunning, too. And you're brave, no doubt about that. But ambition… that's where you lie. Better be-

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat shouted in pain.

I swaggered over to where Malfoy was sitting. "Gut times, ja?" I turned around to look at Professor MacGonagall, who called-

"Fernandez-Carriedo, Antonio!"

Prussia threw me a lazy wave as I put on the hat. Wow… what a comfortable hat!

Thank you.

AAAAHHH! A telepathic hat!

Cl-click. In my mind's landscape, Gunner raised and cocked his guns at the intruder. To my compete lack of surprise, I realized that all of us were standing in my mind's landscape. Who are you!? Gunner screamed at a magical floating hat.

I am the Sorting Hat. I am here to Sort you.

What, all of us? Conquistador said.

Er… I guess not. Just you, then, the hat said to me.

Oh, now you're so special, said Gunner.

Hey, I'm the original here! I shouted.

Gunner, there are over fifty of us, said Fencer. Do you want to be standing here all night?

And the school needs to Sort other people, too, added Grandma.

Or I could compromise and just ask you where you want to go, said the hat.

I shrugged. Anything's fine. Oh, but can I be with Roma and Ita?

No, I haven't sorted them yet.

Curse ye, English alphabetical order, said Conquistador dryly.

How about Prussia? I compromised. Can I be with him, at least?

A Slytherin? You have—and had—plenty of ambition for that, and you can be cunning enough when you want to. In that case, I'll announce that you're be-

"Slytherin!"

I sat down with Prussia, who grabbed me into a headlock. I pushed him off, grinning. Harry and his friend, Ron, both stared at us in horror, but what's a little roughhousing between friends? Oh, look, isn't Ita next?

"Vargas, Feliciano!"

Ve… I'm next?

"Go ahead," whispered Romano. "It'll all be over soon."

"Ve… thank you, fratello…"

"Now get up there and get Sorted! I'm last; I have to wait the most!"

"VE!" I scampered to the stool and put on the hat.

Hello.

VEEE! I screamed. Ve? Oh wait, you're a hat.

How observant of you. And you're a nation. How many more of you am I going to have to Sort?

Ve… just fratello… and Sealand. But he's much younger that we are.

Ah. Let's see… you're northern Italy, then? Yes, you are. Hm… as histories go, you're rather corrupt, aren't you? Trading, government, hallucinogenic mushrooms…

Ve… I'm sorry…

Doesn't matter. I decided after Belarus that there's no point in Sorting you based on your history, since all of you would be Slytherins. Now, you're rather lazy when it comes to things you do not want to do, you're a coward, you haven't got a cunning bone in your body, you can't be relied on to remember anything-

Ve… I sobbed.

But.

Ve? But what?

But you're a good person. You care about people, you try hard when they rely on you, and even if you are a bit of an airhead, you are a good friend. The Gryffindors consider those traits theirs, but they forget that kindness first belonged to the Hufflepuffs. Better be-

"Hufflepuff!"

I sat down with more people I didn't know. "Ve… ciao! My name is F-"

And then fratello hit me on the back of the head with a tomato.

"Vargas, Lovino!" snapped Professor MacGonagall.

"Si, si," I said. I put on the stupid singing hat.

Hello.

AAUGUHGHH! A talking… wait, the hat already sung. Why should I be surprised about it if it talks?

I do talk.

Aaa—you know what? This is getting ridiculous. I'm not going to be scared of you, okay?

Hm…You're not to first to be scared, but you're one of very few to defy that fear. Everyone else lies and says that they're not afraid. But I know. Maybe you'd make a good Gryffindor. But let's look deeper, shall we?

I grimaced. Go ahead. Make my day.

Done. You're also a coward like your brother, but you're not stupid. You run because you know you can't deal or fight. You can't clean, but you're hard-working. Even if it seems like you hate someone, you really care for them and worry over them. Your two best bets are Slytherin and Hufflepuff.

Don't put me in with Spain.

Deal.

"Hufflepuff!"

I sat down next to fratello, who hugged me. I pushed him off, and waited for the first years to be Sorted.

Meanwhile…

"I'm telling you, this isn't the right way," Lithuania said.

"But you don't know the right way, ja?" said Austria.

"Excuse me!" Lithuania called to a portrait. "Can you please direct us to the Great Hall?"

"Certainly, good sir!" said Sir Cadogen.

"Danke," said Austria. "Now… your breastplate is backwards."

Back to the Hall

"Kirkland, Peter!"

The Sorting Hat? Jerk-England never told me about this. Well, he never told me a lot of things, but this is important. Not the subject matter of the final exams. But at least he told me about the thirteen ways out of the school that only he knew about.

I put on the hat.

Hello.

Hello. Lovely day out, isn't it.

You're a nation too?

Yes! Someone finally-

But not a full one. Only a mirconation. Still, you're not young. You've seen the second World War, albeit from a distance.

Is that a good thing? I hope that's a good thing.

It is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. Now, I need to Sort you. Hm… while you're slightly more experienced than these other children, you're still mentally a child. You see, Sorting is usually Sorting children. Very few children are truly ambitious, intelligent, cunning, brave, etc. All I can do is see the seeds of these traits, like curiosity or patience. And, in some cases, children exhibit small ambitions, like dreams.

Dreaming is ambition? I'm afraid I don't understand.

You dream of being the most powerful nation in the world, do you not?

I actually dream about can openers tap-dancing with spider legs.

But you desire to be the most powerful.

Oh. Then yes.

That is ambition. You show plenty of it. Now, ambition is not bad. It is just another name for drive, inspiration, or even courage if you really think about it. Someone even said that it's hope… [1] But the other three Houses think of it as evil, and they ignore the negative aspects of their own traits.

Like what?

The courage to kill. The curiosity to see what happens if you infect a fellow human being with smallpox and dissect them without anesthesia. [2] The hard work that soldiers do. Do you understand?

Yes. I am a former war machine, you know.

Good. You have ambition, but you also have courage. That's not only the seed of courage, you have already proven yourself. Remember the Pictonians?

Oh yeah. Being turned into a drone is weird.

But if there was another war, where would you be?

Front lines. I can fight, and there are plenty of people who can't.

But you would attain better glory in the back lines, where you could decode messages and develop weapons and strategies.

Doesn't matter. I can hold my own in a fight, and I'm used to war. There are too many people out there in the front lines that can't.

Ah, courage. You value other people's lives above your own glory.

Of course. I'm a nation. Other people's lives are my glory. Wanting to be the most powerful doesn't matter if so many other people have to die for me.

The Hat gave a clothy chuckle. You'd make a great-

"Gryffindor!"

I sat down next to some other Gryffindor first years. So I'm courageous and ambitious, am I? And I'm learning magic? This should be an interesting year…

"He-hem."

Or not. Oh well, I can always learn the art of pranking from the Bad Touch Trio. Or Duo.

X (Unknown POV)

With the rush of the crowd coming off of the train, it was understandable that I would get caught up in it. It was also understandable when Professor Hagrid mistook me for a student, given my physical age. It was not understandable, however, how the group of Ravenclaws I had fallen in with had immediately, despite the fact that they had been a close-knit group for seven years, accepted me without incident.

I therefore concluded that they did know that I wasn't one of them, but they were willing to let it pass and pretend that I was one of them to hide me from the other Houses before we got to their Common Room. So after the feast magically blossomed into existence, I stuffed most of it down my shirt and up my sleeves, and excused myself for the bathroom.

"Hey," said a voice behind me.

I jumped. It was one of the Ravenclaw boys.

"I know you're not a Ravenclaw," he said. "And if you were a student, then you wouldn't be at our table, would you. You'd be at your own table."

I turned around. "You followed me?"

"Yep. I heard that there were transfer students this year, but you weren't with them. And they say You-Know-Who is back. Personally, I don't believe it, but what is a Ravenclaw who can't keep an open mind? Last year, Mad-Eye Moody was impersonated for the whole year. How do I know that you're not an impostor?"

"If I were, then I would have disguised myself as someone you knew," I countered.

"But then you would have had an awkward social situation if you had a girlfriend," he retorted. "What's your name, anyway?"

"You'll find out, Mr. Davies," I said.

He blinked. "How did you know my name?"

"The correct answer for that would be not to allow me to confirm that that is your real name," I said. "You've got a lot to learn, Roger Davies."

Roger gritted his teeth. "Fine then. In that case—who are you, and why are you here?"

I told him. He blinked. "In that case, why were you sitting with us?"

"I got lost in the train rush," I said coldly. "Now, if you would excuse me. After all, you can't risk offending me, can you?"

"…I can, but that would be damaging in the long-term and while I would in certain cases, I have no reason to at the moment."

I smiled. "And that, my friend, is why I now like you. And that will be worth a lot this coming year…"

TO BE CONTINU—

"YOU DUMMKOFT! YOU LED US INTO A PIT OF SPIKES!"

"NO, THIS PATICULAR PIT OF SPIKES LEADS TO A TRAPDOOR THAT WILL DROP US ONTO THE GREAT HALL!"

SPLASH!

"Or it will drop us into the moat… everyone get out. I'll dry us."

NOW TO BE CON—

"Why is no one talking to me? Oh, wait… I forgot the stack of books. Oh well. At least I got served. I can just eat under the table."

IS THIS TO BE CONTIUED NOW? IT HAD BETTER BE!

"Harry."

I jolted out of bed and looked around. "Over here."

The Ravenclaw boy was sitting on the windowsill, sipping tea. "Want some?"

"It's past bedtime," I said. "How did you get in?"

"Magic."

"Yes, I know that. How did you get past the Fat Lady?"

The Ravenclaw boy shrugged. "You'll see on… Let's see, Tuesday."

"What's so special about Tuesday?"

"Just look at your schedule." The Ravenclaw boy leaned closer. "I will be seeing a lot of you, Harry Potter."

There was a flash of blue, black, and white light, and the boy vanished.

NOW I can say TO BE CONTINUED!?

[1] Ambition being hope- It's similar, but not quite, to Greed's speech from Full Metal Alchemist. I mean, Greed said that greed is essentially hope, but I suppose that ambition isn't all that different from greed.

[2] Dissection and Smallpox- yes, that really happened. Look it up. Well, it might not be smallpox, but it's some disease.

Who is the Ravenclaw boy? What is he up to? And when will Austria and Lithuania get to the feast?