I'm shaking, screaming and panicking. At least I'm keeping it all inside while I stand beside Sid in front of all the cameras, microphones and people. It really didn't cross my mind that the press would be here today or that Sid would need to talk to them. Someone taking pictures of us, without our knowledge and posted on Instagram felt violating but this, whatever it is, feels terrifying. At least I'm with Sid who has been doing this for most of his life in one way or another.
"Sid, Cat, can you confirm that you are in a relationship and, in fact, are living together?"
Oh boy, what should I say? Protecting Lizzy was instinctive, easy even, but this is so foreign. I feel Sid's hand pull slightly at mine and I understand; he's going to talk to the media for us. I feel the huge boulder on my shoulders slip off and wait for Sid to answer the question.
"Yes, Cat and I are in a relationship. She has a daughter and we ask that you respect their privacy. That is all I'm going to say on the subject now and in the future." Sid's lisp is really pronounced as he speaks but the authority in his voice is unmistakable; don't mess with me or mine. I love this side of Sid, when he takes over. "Now, if you'd like to talk about hockey, let's move into the locker room."
Sid gives my hand one last squeeze then moves into the room and toward his stall. The reporters are frozen for a moment, some look between Sid and me but decide to follow Sid. I'm left standing alone in the doorway.
"Follow me" I hear beside me in a strange accident. It doesn't sound French like Pascal or Marc. I don't really get a good look at his face but he's in Pens gear so I know he's part of the team. I follow him around a corner and then can see who he is; it's Geno.
"Duper took Lizzy here" he says with a slight lisp when he says her name.
"Thank you. Geno, right?"
"Ya" he says and points to the table and chairs where Lizzy is sitting with a few of the players.
I recognize Pascal of course, Kris Letang and someone that I don't know. They're all laughing, including Lizzy who is also eating. At least it's fruit, not more cookies or candy, and she has apple juice too. It must have been Pascal because it looks watered down, is in a glass and with a straw. He's done this before; well, four times actually.
"Mommy" Lizzy says when she sees me. "Kis talks funny like Paskel."
I run my hand over her hair and chuckle.
"Sweetheart, that's not polite. They speak differently and not funny. They are from Quebec and speak French."
She frowns for a moment, her thinking face, then asks "how come G speaks funny, diffent, but not like them?"
My smart little girl is always thinking and I guess it makes sense that she's confused. Lizzy hasn't had a lot of exposure to people from other parts of the world. Before I can answer, Geno jumps in.
"I Russian" he tells her.
Again she frowns. "Rushun?"
"Da" he replies and smiles at her.
Lizzy smiles. "Da mommy, da!" she tries out her new word.
All the guys chuckle at my little charmer. All this male attention is definitely new to Lizzy and it's interesting to see how she's responding to it. I really like that she's outgoing and friendly. Too many kids her age go through a shy period especially when they're with people they don't know.
Geno disappears for a few moments but comes back quickly. He has a small Russian flag and hands it to Lizzy; at least I assume that it's Russian.
"Russian flag, my flag" Geno tells her.
She laughs and waves the flag around.
"I Rushan too!"
We all laugh with her so she says it over and over again.
"Seriously! I'm gone for five minutes and my princess has defected to Russia?" Sid says as he approaches us.
"Best country" Geno says and ruffles Lizzy's hair.
"Rusha, Rusha, Rusha" Lizzy sings. She has no idea what it means but loves that everyone is laughing.
"I will get her a Canadian flag as soon as I can" Sid tells me and pretends to glare at Geno.
"Why?" I ask him trying to look innocent.
Sid frowns now not sure what I've asked. "What do you mean why?" he asks.
"She's American Sidney. She needs an American flag."
"Damn right" Paul Martin says as he joins us.
"Damn right!" Lizzy says.
She's still a parrot for words and phrases she doesn't know. By the time we leave here her vocabulary might be very colourful. I've only heard some of the language these guys use and it is often extremely colourful.
"Pauly!" Sid says in admonishment.
"Sorry" Paul responds and looks remorseful.
"It's ok, could have been much worse" I tell him with a smile.
"Tanger, where the fuck are you you fucker?!" I hear clearly yelled from the next room.
There's absolute silence before everyone simply breaks out laughing. The timing couldn't have been worse, or better I guess.
Lizzy must not have heard it or didn't register the words because she goes on playing with her flag.
"I just need to see the doc and then I'll be back. Five minutes" Sid tells me and kisses just below my ear. I feel the shiver go right through me and that's when I make the decision; Sid and I are having sex tonight. If he's healthy that is. It's been almost two weeks and I can't take it anymore.
Lizzy spills her apple juice which causes her to break out in tears and cry her heart out. The poor thing tries so hard to be careful and hates when she makes a mess. Of course watching six men scramble to clean up the small mess of a three year old is really funny. Since they are cleaning up, I pick up Lizzy to comfort her. The cries slow and I try to clean up her snot and tears.
"Sidwee!" She yells and tries to jump out of my arms.
I look where she's pointing and Sid is coming back. As soon as Sid's beside me, Lizzy abandons me for Sid's arms.
"What happened princess?"
"Appo jus spilled."
"Oh. Did you do it on purpose?" Sid waits for her to shake her head. "Were you playing or doing something you shouldn't?" Again she shakes her head. "Then it was an accident and not your fault, ok?"
Lizzy sniffles and softly says "ok Sidwee" then lays her head on his shoulder.
"All the girls go for Sid" Kris says. "Usually crying on them of course."
Everyone laughs and the guys all go their own way. Sid heads over to the sofa and I follow him.
"That was quick. So, what did Chris say?" I ask him about the doctor.
"It's as expected. I'm healing as he expects and there's no sign of concussion. In fact, he thinks we don't need to worry about one at all now. It's been five days and I would definitely be showing symptoms."
I'm so excited that I throw my arms around his neck.
"Ouch" Sid says.
"Oh, sorry Sid" I tell him and pull back.
"Careful, Sidwee's ouchy" Lizzy tells me.
I can't help chuckling at Lizzy admonishing me the same way I did her last night.
"I'll be more careful Lizzy" I tell her. "Sid, do you need to stay for anything?"
"No, Chris suggested that I go home and ice. There's still some swelling and, although to be expected, it will help healing if I can get it down."
"Ok, let's go" I tell him. Of course I need to readjust my plans. If Sid isn't cleared for exercise then there's no sex for me. Hopefully soon he'll be cleared to work out.
We say goodbye and leave the rink. When we get home, Sid takes his medication and lies down with some ice and Lizzy.
The next few days went the same way. We went to Consol with Sid and spent all of the time together, just the three of us. Today, Sid went to Consol alone today because they anticipate clearing him to exercise off ice. I know he'll miss us but he's really excited to work out. Knowing that he's cleared for exercise gave me an idea too so Lizzy is staying at my apartment overnight with Miss Sally and I'm currently preparing for Sid to come home.
I've made us dinner but that's for later. This afternoon we're going to eat each other. I laugh at my stupid joke. Sid's going to be home soon and I can't wait. I look in the mirror and do a last check. My hair is curled and falls in waves over my shoulders. The black bra makes me look like I actually have cleavage and the matching panties are hiding nothing.
I hear Sid come in the door and go back to the bedroom to wait for him in bed; on the bed to be exact.
"Cat?" I hear Sid call for me.
"Back here" I call back.
I wait for what seems like an eternity until he finally walks in the door.
"Hi" he says.
"Hi back."
"Where's Lizzy?"
"At my apartment with Miss Sally."
"Oh."
"Yes, oh."
Sid walks to the bed and stops in front of me.
"Cat, you know that I can't kiss you or" he stops there.
I chuckle and, before he can move away, I say "but I can."
I crawl over the bed to him and kneel there. First, I pull his tee shirt over his head and run my hands over his chest tracing every muscle I find. There is so much smooth, hard skin. I make quick work of his jeans unzipping them and reaching inside. I can feel that he also knows how long it's been.
Holding the base, I wrap my lips around his tip. Sid sucks in his breath, sharp, and his hand buries in my hair. His fingers tighten into my scalp as I slide my tongue around the tip. They tighten further as I take him deep into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat. He moans and I feel it deep inside to my core.
I pull back, keeping him in my hand slowly stroking, and look up at him. I can see that he's flush and breathing harder. I can't help but smile at him. I love watching him aroused. Slowly I keep stroke him and watch his eyes darken until his pupils and iris' are indistinguishable. They are intense as they stare at me.
Suddenly, Sid pulls away from me. I'm surprised and can't react. He collects himself and does up his jeans. I watch him run his hands through his hair. He's standing only a few feet away but it could be miles with the emotional distance between us. This isn't the first time and I've had enough.
"Sid, you have to talk to me! I know that something is wrong. No matter what you've been saying, something is wrong. Don't say it's the injury because this was happening before. Please, talk to me."
I'm basically begging Sid at the end. I can feel the distance between us even when he's loving.
He's silent for a long time staring at the floor. Then he runs his hands over his face, turns and leaves the bedroom.