So, if no one got it, the reason why Sealand reacted with the potion was because he was made of metal. Why? Magic.
Alexa6: By 'hard work that soldiers do', I mean killing people.
Note that Harry isn't going to tell the nations everything; for reasons such as omitting Sirius, and the fact that he's telling a story. He is, and by extension I am, telling only the parts that they'd be interested in. I'm telling the parts that have changed from canon, while Harry is telling the parts that are important to them.
Italics mean that someone's interrupting the story.
Uh… so I realized that Liet did specifically mention that he's the Muggle Studies teacher, but Harry repeatedly wonders what his class is. He forgot. Simple as that.
When Spain is speaking and the listener is not a nation, or does not know his multiple personalities well enough, then I will label them.
I wrote the scene with Hermione and Belarus before I read about JK Rowling pairing Harry with Hermione. I never really shipped Harry Potter, so I just went with RonxHermione. Besides, shipping them now would just mess with Hermione's motivations.
Fifth Year: Knives and Friends (Harry POV)
"What are you doing here?" I asked the one person who was not my neighbor. Everyone relaxed instantly, even him.
"Wh-what?" said Raivis Galante. He was still slightly tense, but his stutter was more because of my question catching him by surprise rather than the fear of answering.
"Why were you in detention?" I asked. "There's no way that you'd be put there."
"Ja," said Gilbert. "I mean, you may not be completely awesome as I am but-"
"T-then what are you doing here if you're so awesome?" said Raivis meekly. That said, he hid behind Peter.
"Vell, I happen to be-"
"I saw what you did to that Toad!" said Raivis. "All I was in there for was being out carrying telescopes to the Astronomy Tower half an hour past curfew last Tuesday!"
I blinked. "Wait, how could you be out too late?"
"How could I even be sent to detention?" retorted Raivis. He sighed. "I guess I'll have to tell her eventually…"
"I'd like to see her reaction ven zat happens!" laughed Gilbert. "I haf a video camera."
"Video cameras don't work in Hogwarts," said Peter. "Anything more advanced than an alarm clock or a shotgun breaks." [1]
"Electronics work in the Muggle Studies room, remember?" said Raivis.
"But why can't you get sent to detention?" Peter asked Raivis.
"How exactly did you find out that shotguns work here?" I asked.
"Jerk-Arthur tried once," Peter turned to me. "It was an experiment. He borrowed some old cars, phones, a digital camera, several guns, and a tank just to see what broke down and what didn't."
"So drag her to the Muggle Studies room, then," said Natalya to Raivis. "There has to be an excuse you can make."
"How did he borrow a tank?" I asked Peter.
"I thought that we weren't allowed to be in a classroom without permission," Peter said to Natalya.
"What?" I said.
"What?" said Peter.
"We're not, but Raivis won't have any trouble," said Natalya.
"Wait; is there something that I'm not getting?" Peter turned around to face Raivis. "Did I miss something here?"
Everyone turned to face Raivis. Raivis blushed and said, "H-Harry can explain. I-it's your turn, after all…"
"Not to mention zat I vant to hear vot got you in detention," said Gilbert.
"Yeah, and I haven't heard the whole story about you and Voldemort either," said Peter. "I've heard about what happened to you last year, and I believe you, but I don't know what's been happening recently."
"Peter filled me in on what he knew last night," said Natalya. "So, basically, guy tries to kill you when you're a kid, guy 'dies', guy came back last year, he kills someone, you were there and you tried to tell everyone but no one believes you."
Everyone wanted me to talk? Okay then…
"I don't think that I could have gotten past this week without Ron and Hermione. Everyone seemed as if they wanted me to be angry, disturbed, prove them right. But they-"
"Shut up, Harry. Just get to the point, or I will," said Natalya.
"Fine then. You tell the story."
FLASHBACK Belarus POV
I thought that Hogwarts was going to be an annoying place to live for the next three years, but it wasn't that bad. The ghosts weren't bad to talk to, especially.
Gryffindor House wasn't as bad as I had expected. The whole 'Courage' thing made me think of those posters that told you to fight and die for the U.S.S.R. But, the girls in my dormitory let me keep to myself, although two of them spent too much time chattering when we should have gone to bed. Throwing a knife at their bedposts helped, but then another girl started yelling at me. For some reason, she seemed like her heart wasn't into it.
"So, who's the lover boy?" I asked.
"Wh-what?" said the girl. Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn't that.
"Who's your crush?" I repeated.
The two chattering girls seemed to be listening.
"I-I do not have a crush!" the girl said, too quickly for it to be true.
"Yes, you do. You are worried about something, aren't you?"
She opened her mouth to say no, but then she closed it. "Yes. Yes, I am. But not about-"
"But you're staying above your emotions so that you can make rational decisions. Most people would just let go and cry if it's about themselves. But you're worried for someone else and you don't want them to worry about you."
The girl nodded. "Yes."
"What's the problem? What's going on with him? Or her?"
"This is not about love!"
"But you have a crush."
"Y-N-Okay, fine! Yes, I do have a crush! No, it is not what I'm worried about, but-"
"Who is it?" asked one of the annoying girls.
"Yes, is it Harry Potter?"
"You're always going around with him."
"A-No, it is not Harry," the girl said.
Harry looked up. "Wait, do you know her name?"
"No," I said. "But it's something weird, like Hortense."
"Hermione?"
"That's it."
For some reason, Harry looked halfway between relieved and worried. "Hermione never gave me a name," I added. " Since she's your friend, Harry, it's probably best for her to tell you instead of me."
"In that case, what are you worried about?" I asked, but Hermione never answered me.
"Vell, ja, you did just force her to admit zat she has a crush on someone," said Gilbert in that same slightly arrogant tone.
"Shut up. I never asked you," I snapped.
"Ve… He's right…" said Feliciano nervously.
"Shut. Up."
"Ve…"
"If she has a crush, she should go out and tell him!" I shouted. A few portraits tried to shush me.
"Si!" Antonio yelled, and another round of portraits began to scold him.
"It's already ten, can't you get to bed?"
"If you're going to talk, then do it somewhere else!"
"But if she's in love, then-!"
"Not everyone can be as crazy as you two," muttered Lovino.
"But Lovi~-"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Look, if you're not going to go on, I will," said Harry.
FLASHBACK (Harry POV)
All right, so the night we got here, someone woke me up in the middle of the night. I'll call him the Ravenclaw boy. Well… he isn't actually in Ravenclaw, but… I'll get to it.
At about half-past four in the morning, someone shook me awake. "Hey!" said a voice behind me. It was the Ravenclaw boy. "Are you awake now?"
I blinked, and looked around. "Where are we?"
"The old Charms Classroom," he said. "You were sleepwalking."
I looked at him. "Who are you?"
The Ravenclaw boy sighed. "I just saved you from Filch. Is this what I get?"
"Yes."
He shook his head. "All in due time. Anyway, I have to escort you back to your dormitory."
I looked at him, and then at the ground. There was a circle and a pentagram chalked onto the floor. "Why are you offering? And what's that?"
He sighed again. "You're suspicious? Ah, well… It was like this back then, too."
"What?"
"Never mind. So, I have two reasons. One, someone else might catch you, and they might not be as… nice as I am."
I put my hand to my wand pocket, but silently panicked when I realized that it wasn't there.
"Wait, your wand wasn't there?" said Natalya.
"Yes…?" I said carefully. "I don't sleep with it."
"How can you not sleep vith your vand?" said Gilbert."I haf a hand to my sword every night."
"I… don't?" I said.
"He means his magic wand," said Antonio.
"Oh," said Natalya.
"I knew zat."
The Ravenclaw boy sighed. "I am unarmed, if that puts your mind at ease. The second reason is school rules."
I mentally inserted the word 'safety' in there. Didn't Dumbledore think that I could handle myself?
"No, really," said the Ravenclaw boy, seeing my expression. "You are not the first student to come sleepwalking and leave their dorms. Look, you can look it up in the library."
He started walking up the stairs. "So… where is your dorm?"
"Why were you down there?" I said, but I led the way. "And what was that on the ground? How did you know I was going to be down there?"
He sighed. "Why is this always happen to me…? I had a legitimate reason for that pentagram. And I did not want to meet you again until Tuesday. And even if I did, I think that I'd come up with something a bit better than lie in wait in a place you're not allowed."
"But why were you down there?"
"All in due time."
I kept on asking all the way to the Gryffindor dormitories, until the Ravenclaw boy took out a memo pad and wrote something down on it.
When I got up to go to breakfast the next morning, Raivis was crying on the second floor landing. "H-Harry?" he said. "Where's the DADA room?"
"Third floor," I pointed.
"Thanks!" he said, and ran back upstairs. He almost bumped into Luna, who was immersed in her magazine. "Sorry," he said.
"Thank you for the pukis," said Luna. "Daddy said that he's feeling much better now."
"Y-you're welcome."
"I'll see you next class, then." [2]
I told Ron and Hermione about the Ravenclaw boy at breakfast.
"He's a Death Eater!" said Ron. "He must be! Pentagrams are real Dark Magic. Dad told me about that once. He was probably… using Dark Magic to lure you down there in your sleep!"
"Ron, I don't think that's a very plausible theory," said Hermione. "If he was going to do that, why did he wake Harry up and send him to his dorm?"
"No, wait," said Ron. "He was… trying to sabotage something, and Harry got caught up in the middle of it! He sent Harry back so that he wouldn't be disturbed!"
Hermione looked around. "But then… where is that pentagram? Harry, do you remember where you were?"
I shook my head. "He said it was the old Charms classroom, but he didn't say which one."
"Never mind, then," said Hermione. "But what were the pentagrams for?"
The bell rung, so we had to leave for classes. My first class of the day was History of Magic.
"Right, the one with the boring ghost," said Natalya. "His dates were wrong, too."
"So you threw a knife at him?" I said.
"Well, yeah. No one else bothered to correct them?"
"I tried, but he said zat he vas right," said Gilbert. "I said zat Liechtenstein didn't vant to come because of ze goblins instead of ze trolls."
"I said that the Day of Black Lightning was on a Saturday instead of a Sunday, so it was not actually of as much significance to the Catholic Church as he said it was," said Antonio.
"I said that the bell rang five minutes before he was done lecturing," said Lovino. "He was probably the only teacher they could get for that subject and no one really cared about it anymore."
"How many times did jerk-Arthur come here to teach, again?" said Peter.
I blinked. "I can't remember anyone mentioning a Professor Kirkland," I said.
"Alternate strains of reality. They seem to happen a lot around jerk-Arthur, Hogwarts, Alfred, Matthew, and Alistair," said Peter. [3]
"Ve, so Natalya threw a knife at the wall?" Feliciano chirped.
"Never mind that," I said.
So next was Divination. Natalya took a different class, so she wasn't there.
About halfway through the lesson, someone knocked on the trapdoor. "Excuse me? Can someone open this? It's locked."
Ron and I exchanged glances. "That was Toris," he said.
Neville opened up the trapdoor, and Toris said, "Sorry, but please move away from the door." Several sealed packages levitated through the door and dropped onto the floor. "Can someone get those? I can't get in."
Neville lifted the boxes with great difficulty and placed them on a table. Toris climbed up the ladder and said, "Professor Trelawney?"
Professor Trelawney came up to him so suddenly that Toris fell backwards down the trapdoor. "AA—It's okay!" he called. Toris climbed back up the ladder. "Please…" he said. "Next time, install a dumbwaiter or an elevator or even some stairs…"
"Who are you?" said Professor Trelawney.
"I'm Professor Laurinaitis," said Toris. "I had a free period, so I came up to deliver these packages you forgot to take."
"He's cute," whispered Lavender Brown to Parvati Patil, and the two giggled.
Trelawney opened the packages and took out several smaller boxes of tea leaves. She whirled around and said in a sudden, dramatic voice, "For your pains, I shall see into your future!"
"O-oh, you don't have to-"
Trelawney grabbed Toris's wrist and stared into his palms. "Yes… you will be assaulted by a sliver-haired man… upon your boss's request, you shall meet a woman… and a man. What is the man saying…? Oh! He is requesting for you to take off your clothes… You show him your…"
Toris turned a brighter and brighter shade of red as Trelawney predicted that he will be captured by a very tall man and would have to sing for his freedom. "I-I really think that I'm all ri-" [4]
"You will deliver," she said, in unfailingly dramatic tones, "a box of dried leaves to a woman in- wait, I'm looking at this backwards. That was your past."
"Um… thank you for your troubles?" said Toris.
"Let's see your future… Hm… what's this? A newspaper headline… 'America Crashes World Market. Again.' Oh dear, you're throwing up…"
"… M-my next class is coming up soon…" mumbled Toris. "I have to go…"
He stepped away, then jumped down the trapdoor without touching the ladder and bolted.
"That was weird," said Ron.
Next class was Potions. Snape was more vindictive-
"Wait, Snape hates you?" said Gilbert.
"It's a long story."
And then he humiliated me in front of the whole class. Natalya made her potions exactly as the instructions said, and she swiped some ingredients from the ta-
Natalya pulled her knife and held it to my neck. "How did you know?" she said with a chillingly calm voice.
"I- why are you holding a knife?"
"To threaten you."
"I know that, but why are you-"
"Just go ahead," she said, and sheathed the knife.
The next class was DADA. That Toad was-
"Hey, Harry?" said Natalya. "Since you're going to just rant about how bad that Toad was, I'll be taking over."
"No, wa-"
FLASHBACK (Belarus POV)
So that Toad was the worst thing that ever happened to education, somewhere between blatant government propaganda and brainwashing. She spent the first half of class talking about how good the new curriculum is and how we're so stupid but it's not really our fault. And then Harry started yelling at her.
"I did not," said Harry indignantly. "Well, yes, I did, but I didn't just yell at her out of the blue."
Fine. So our classmates started making actual logical headway when the Toad mentioned that we wouldn't be learning magic because nothing is out there.
"What about Voldemort?" said Harry.
"Voldemort is dead, and you are lying," said Umbridge.
"That's not what I said," said Harry.
"It's close enough," I snapped.
"Let me take over, this is around the part where you start talking.
FLASHBACK (Harry POV)
"So are you saying that there's absolutely nothing out there that can hurt us?" said Natalya dangerously. A knife had somehow appeared in her left hand.
"Precisely."
"Are you an idiot? There's always something out there that can hurt us. Do you have any idea what's happening in the world?"
"I repeat, there is-"
"What about guns? Bombs? Tanks? Muggle wars? Not only Muggles die in revolutions and wars. I knew several wizards who died in purges."
"Detention, Miss…"
"Arlovskaya."
"Miss Afroskaya."
"Ar-LOV-ska-ya."
"Miss Arovskaya-"
"No, it's pronounced Ar-LOV-ska-ya."
"Miss—Detention! There is absolutely nothing out there that can harm any of-"
THUNK! Natalya threw her knife at the Toad, missing her by the merest fraction of an inch. "What about me?" said Natalya.
The Toad was stunned for a moment, and then she snapped, "Open up your books, to the first chapter and read! There will be no need to talk."
Back to normal (Harry POV)
"…And that's how we got into detention," I finished.
"Wow. So that's how you got into detention?" said Lovino. "That was incredibly stupid."
"I know," I moaned. "Why did you throw that-"
"I was talking about you," said Lovino.
"Hey!"
"Look, at least try to control your temper," said Lovino, genuinely concerned. "You know she's wrong and you want to tell the truth, I get it. But if you don't slam a lid on it, she's going to-"
"Do you think this is easy for me?!" I snapped. "I know what she's going to do to me!"
Lovino sighed, and shouted, "Do you think this is easy for me, either?! Do you think this will end here?! Yeah, yeah, I know it's hard to keep your temper, but just bear with it! Do you think you're the only one I ever told?!"
I opened my mouth, but closed it. Lovino cooled down, and said in a quiet voice, "I've known people who got killed for less than this." He looked up at the ceiling. "Back home in Italy, the mafia would… I had a friend, once… he witnessed a murder. I tried to warn him not tell anyone, but he just laughed and said that once the story got out, then we could finally catch them once and for all. And… I believed him…"
Tears began to well up in Lovino's eyes. "I…I knew that he was going to die, but… I… I let him go. He told the police. For a while, it was fine. Five days later… in the square. Man with a gun… shot. From five hundred yards. I broke the news to his family the next day."
Lovino looked back down. "I guess you can imagine…"
Antonio started crying. He crept up from behind Lovino and hugged him. "I can't believe that-"
"GET OFF ME!"
"Still, vot you did vas even stupider, Natalya," said Gilbert.
Antonio sighed. "You're one to talk," he said in an unusually serious voice. (Conquistador) "After what you did… I'm surprised that she didn't give you more lines."
"Ja, but I'm not ashamed," said Gilbert. "Didn't you throw your axe at her? Und your sword. Not to mention zat you-"
"Gunner was the one who threw my sword," said Antonio in an uncannily serious voice. (Fencer)
"I did not!" said Antonio in another voice. (Gunner) "That was—okay, I threw your sword. But Con—Ricky threw the axe!"
Everyone turned to stare at Antonio. "Ricky?" said Lovino. "You named him Ricky?"
"Ve~ Who's Ricky?" said Feli.
"Antonio's secondary personality," said Gilbert. "Antonio, since he is ze original, is by default ze primary personality, but if he vere not, Ricky vould be ze primary. But Antonio is ze primary, so he takes precedence over Ricky, who is now secondary."
"Ve…"
Gilbert sighed. "Ricky ist Konquistador," he said. (By Ricky, I mean Conquistador)
"Ve." Feliciano nodded.
"But how do you know about Raivis?" said Peter.
Natalya and I looked at each other. "You tell them," she said.
FLASHBACK (Harry POV)
On Tuesday morning, on my way down, Raivis was crying. "H-harry?" he said. "Where's the Muggle Studies room?"
"Fifth floor, fourth on the left," said Hermione.
"Th-thanks!" He picked up a large box containing what looked like the lovechild of a dragon and a computer if it started throwing up.
"Bloke seems to get lost a lot," said Ron.
"He's a first year, don't be so hard on him," said Hermione.
Ron shrugged. "Is he a Gryffindor again?"
Hermione opened her mouth, and closed it. "That's odd," she said. "I can't recall him ever being Sorted. Harry, do you remember?"
I shook my head.
"Well, I'm starving," said Ron.
First period was Music, with the Slytherins. Professor Edelstein was—
"Ja, ja, he's a stuck up aristocrat, ve all know zat," said Gilbert.
I blinked. "Wait, you know him?"
Before Gilbert could answer, Antonio blocked him and said, "Hey, I'd like to hear what he actually thinks of Roderich."
Roderich? Where did I hear that name before…?
"I'd rather hear what you actually think than what you think we'd like to hear," said Natalya.
Okay then. Professor Edelstein glared at all of us the moment we all shuffled in. He held a riding crop in one hand—
"Hey, remember the time he totally whipped Francis's culata? (Butt)" said Antonio in a creepily sunny voice. Somehow, I didn't think he was making an innuendo…
Gilbert frowned. "Sometimes, I vunder if you're just using ze multiple personalities as an excuse to say votever you vant."
"No, he always does that," said Lovino.
He held a riding crop in one hand and sheet music in the other. When we all sat down, no one spoke. "Now zen," he said at last, "You are here to learn about music. Now, before ve begin, I should let you know that-"
"Ve, he's very strict about rules and discipline!" said Feliciano.
"I am very strict about rules und discipline," finished Professor Edelstein.
Next to me, Malfoy-
"Who's Malfoy?" said Natalya.
"A jerk," I said.
Malfoy whispered to Crabbe (his lackey), "This class is ridiculous!"
"Hey! You zere!" Professor Edelstein glared at Malfoy. "Vot is your name?"
"Draco Malfoy," said Malfoy smugly.
"Detention! Come to my office at six tonight!"
Malfoy looked as if he'd been slapped in the face. "No excuses!" Professor Edelstein continued. "Now zen…"
We spent the entire lesson checking to see who already knew how to play music or dance. Luckily, Aunt Petunia forced me to take folk-dancing lessons when I was in primary sch-
"Wait, your aunt made you take folk-dancing?" said Natalya.
"Wh-what's wrong with folk-dancing?!" said Raivis. [5]
"Can you stop interrupting me?" I snapped.
Thanks. So, I already knew something about music, and so did Ron. Mrs. Weasley wanted all of her children to be able to play one musical instrument. Ron got the hurdy-gurdy, and he was actually pretty good at it. Hermione happened to be decent at piano, but that was not enough for Professor Edelstein to let her touch his precious piano.
Besides, all of us got on the wrong foot that day. It began with Hermione asking if Professor Edelstein was German…
"Nein! I am Austrian!"
…And then Ron got yelled at for eating yakisoba in class. "Put zat avay!"
Malfoy raised his hand to ask a question… "Professor?"
"No hand-raising!"
"Professor Evelstein-"
"It's pronounced Edelstein!"
"Do we get grades for this?"
"Nein! Ve do not grade music! Und Miss Granger, put zat book avay!"
Needless to say, all of us were glad to get to our next class. That class was Care of Magical Creatures, and—
Never mind, nothing much happened there. After that was Muggle Studies. Hermione left for Ancient Runes, while Ron and I walked to the Muggle Studies room. "Excuse me," said Raivis, carrying a large fish tank. "I have to get to the Muggle Studies room."
He pushed past us and climbed the stairs. "Raivis!" I called. "You're going the wrong way!"
He blinked. "I-I am? Thanks!" He went the right way this time.
"Well, look who it is," said Malfoy from behind.
"Shove it, Malfoy," said Ron.
"Look, I'm not going to-"
Over Malfoy's head, I spotted someone familiar. "It's him!" I hissed to Ron.
"What?" said Ron, but I pushed past him.
"Sorry—hey, wait up!" I called to the Ravenclaw boy.
The Ravenclaw boy ignored me, or maybe just didn't hear me. Anyways, I got caught in a stampede of seventh-year girls racing to Charms class and lost sight of him.
"What's with you today, Potter?" said Malfoy.
"None of your business," I said behind gritted teeth.
"You don't usually just run away at the sight of me, do you?"
"Shut up," I said.
Ron looked at Malfoy. "Hey, what happened to your arm?"
"None of your business," snapped Malfoy. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to class."
"Well, so do we," I said.
We then went our separate ways—or at least, that was the theory. "Why are you following me, Potter, Weasley?"
"Why are you following us?" said Ron.
"Wait, what's your next class?"
"What's it to you?" I said.
"I have to go to Muggle Studies, and judging by how all the blood drained from your face, Potter, you do too."
Ron and I exchanged equal looks of horror. "Oh, shove it," said Malfoy. "I'm not the one who said that all fifth years and over with two wizarding parents had to attend Muggle Studies. Besides, you should have known that I'd be in that class, too."
I ignored him and opened the door to the classroom.
Half of the room was filled with various Muggle devices, from a small television on a side table to a wide collection of computers. The teacher's desk was cluttered with cables and the fish tank Raivis was carrying. I could hear someone crouched down under the desk, muttering. He (I knew by the voice it was a he), seemed to be fiddling with some device. Despite the clutter, the room gave an impression of looming. There were only a couple of students in there, and no teacher in sight. "There are hardly any wizards that have two wizarding parents," said Ron.
"There aren't many students here to begin with," I added.
"Or they're just late," said Malfoy. "Not all of us get to come here from one floor down."
As it happened, there were more students. Two more, to be exact. "I wasn't wrong, you know," said Malfoy.
"Shove it."
The bell rang. Raivis came in from the door in the back. "Hey, Eduard?" he asked the person crouching behind the desk. "Are you done yet?"
"Almost," said an extremely familiar voice. "Just… ah. Got it!"
The screens on the electronics flickered to life. Raivis whistled. "Nice!"
The person behind the desk stood up. "Thanks," he said. I almost gasped. It was the Ravenclaw b-
Toris slammed open the door. "Sorry it took so long," he said. He sighed. "Why does magic have to be so complicated…"
The Ravenclaw boy adjusted his glasses. "But you did set it up, right?"
"Excuse me, but what are you doing here?" said Malfoy. "We have a class right now, and if you're not going to-"
Toris blinked, and he, Raivis, and the Ravenclaw boy looked at each other. "Oh. Right," said the Ravenclaw boy. "Actually, we're your teachers for this year."
It took exactly thirty seconds for that to sink in.
"Wait, what?!" said Peter. "You never told me about this!"
Raivis shuddered. "I—we haven't seen each other in a week! I never got the chance to tell you!"
Ron and I exchanged glances. Ron was lost on the fact that an eleven year old boy was teaching us. I was lost on the fact that the guy who snuck into the dormitories the other night was a teacher.
"So that's where Eduard went!" said Raivis. All of us turned to stare at him. "He… didn't come to bed on the night of the feast…" We stared at him even more. "O-okay! All three of us sleep in the same bed! It's a habit we never had to bre-"
"Too much information," grumbled Natalya.
"Then where were you?" said Peter. "I never saw you during the feast at all."
Raivis blinked. "I was at the feast. Teacher's table."
I had a sudden vision of a small yellow furball on the teacher's table. "Wait… so that furball was your head?"
Raivis turned red.
Okay, never mind. So then Toris spoke up and said, "S-sveiki… I am Professor Laurinaitis, and I am from Lithuania… er, can anyone here actually pronounce my name?"
There were cries of "Laryngitis" and "Laundry". Ron and I already knew Toris's name from before, so we had no trouble, but Toris sighed and said, "You know vot? Call me Professor Toris. It vill be easier on all of us."
The Ravenclaw boy—yes, I'll call him something else soon—nudged Raivis slightly., Raivis got the hint and said, "I-I'm Professor Galante, and I… Eduard, g-go ahead!"
The newly named Eduard adjusted his glasses and said, "I am Professor Von Bock."
"What are your qualifications for being teachers?" Malfoy called.
Raivis calmly leaned over the desk and picked up something long and metal—a shotgun.
"It was an AK-47…" said Raivis. "That's not a shotgun, it's an assault rifle."
An AK-47, then. "I'm… experienced with Muggle weaponry," said Raivis, and put down the gun. "I-it's not loaded… I mean, it can't fire right now," he added when he saw the blank looks of everyone in the room except for me. "W-we're going to go over a section of the evolution of Muggle weaponry…"
He shot a furtive glance at Professor Von Bock, who said in a more steady tone, "I am a computer programmer. What is a computer? Well… we will go over that. Toris?"
Toris turned red. "I… I have a driver's license. For a car… and a tank. I think there's one for an airplane somewhere… and a boat. And a helicopter."
"And you consider yourselves qualified?" said Malfoy.
Eduard shrugged. "Considering that I can hack into pretty much any database in the world given enough time and enough food, yes. And that includes the time I got into the CIA when I was drunk."
Toris blinked. "How many of you know what a tank is? And no, I do not mean the one that holds water." Only Blaise Zambini and I raised our hands. Natalya—yes, she is in this class, knew, but she didn't bother to put her hand up.
Malfoy conceded their points. "All right, how about you, Professor Galante?" he said sarcastically.
Raivis tossed Malfoy a green apple. "Stand up, Mr…"
"Malfoy," said Malfoy.
"Hold the apple about your head—that's it, a little higher… straight above your head."
"Sir?" Malfoy said the word with the same tone as before. "How exactly is this going to-"
BLAM! The apple exploded, scattering wet pieces of it everywhere. Malfoy whimpered. Raivis calmly put down the shotgun—
"That was a rifle," said Raivis. "Shotguns are too inaccurate to snipe with."
-Rifle, then, and said, "I think I am qualified." [6]
The rest of the lesson was spent talking about how Muggles have progressed, and that Muggles were not behind wizards at all. Malfoy was accepting this information with smug disinterest and denial, so Professor Von Bock put him into detention. At the end of class, Von Bock called me. "Harry Potter?" he said, picking up a memo pad.
"Yes?" I said testily.
"Detention, this Saturday."
Ron blinked. "Wh-what?!" he shouted. "Harry didn't do anything this class! He got all the questions you asked him right!"
Von Bock adjusted his glassed. "It's for annoying me Sunday night."
Ron and I stormed off. What an unfair teacher…
I could barely hear Toris and Raivis's protests to Eduard. But I heard one last statement… "I need all of us to talk to him later."
Flashback End (Harry POV)
Gilbert burst out laughing. "Mein Gott, I can't believe you had ze balls to shoot him!" He slapped Raivis on the back, who choked.
"Th-that was only one time!" Raivis protested.
"But I thought you said you didn't have any ammo?" said Peter.
"I didn't have any ammunition for the AK-47," said Raivis. "It's too dangerous to demonstrate."
"You call shooting an apple out of someone's hand not dangerous?!" shouted Lovino.
"Zat's vot she said!" Gilbert laughed. "Remember how you handed those grenades?"
"That was one time, Vital Regions-"
"Hey, Raivis, do you know what Eduard was talking about?" I said.
Raivis nodded. "But I knew he needed all three of us to talk to you…"
"Can't you tell me?" said Peter.
"Later," said Raivis. "Tomorrow, as a matter of fact."
"So what did you learn?" Antonio asked me.
"Oh," I said. "Not much. We started learning about the Renaissance, and-"
"Ve, the Renaissance?" said Feliciano. "Did you learn about Da Vinci and art and exploration and pasta and-"
"Just technology," I said. "Toris said that that was around the time Muggles started surpassing wizards."
Gilbert, Raivis, Antonio, Lovino, and Feliciano all exchanged glances, and sighed. "Those were the days…" (This is said in Latin.)
"What?" Peter and I said in unison.
"Never mind," said Gilbert. "So, do you vant to know about ze awesome veek I had?"
TO BE CONTINUED!
[1] Techonolgy levels in Hogwarts- Harry wakes up with an alarm clock at one point.
[2] Luna saying "I'll see you next class."- Luna does not have to take Muggle Studies until fifth year, but she takes it now.
[3] Alternate strains of reality- Seriously, how many Professor Kirkland or America and Canada at Hogwarts fics are there?!
[4] The tall man and sing for freedom- Russia, Singing Revolution. I'm not sure if it directly led to freedom, but it was a huge demonstration.
[5] What's wrong with folk dancing- Apparently, the Baltics love their dancing and singing.
[6] Latvia and guns- There were regiments of Latvian riflemen during WW1. German troops were invading, so some Latvians asked the ruling Russia if they could form all-Latvian regiments. The Latvians may not have liked the Russians, but they hated the Germans more. The regiments were successful, but later they were used to suppress revolts in the USSR. I was thinking that Latvia was part of the Latvian Riflemen when they were fighting the Germans, but later he left once they fought Estonia.
What was Estonia doing? What is Estonia doing? Why is Latvia being so badass?