A/N: I promise to be better about updating *looks guilty* however if anyone has anything they would like to see with this story plot bunnies are always appreciated

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Sitting in the car with Nat outside Calleigh's house I realized that no matter what had happened in the past their was no awkwardness between Nat and I.

"It doesn't look like anyone is here," Nat said.

"Well you said you had a key so why don't we go and see," I decided, truly I wasn't a fan of keying onto a cops house, but I was hoping to find Emily before Doyle found her and if it meant I profiled a cop and used her to get to Emily I was ok with that. Having the BAU here was making me nervous because their was so much that they didn't know and I've never prided myself on keeping secrets especially from my family and now I have so many things I can't tell them.

"Alright, but if she asks can we say this was your idea? I don't want to lose the only friend I have here," Her voice sounded sad and I filed it away to ask about later.

"You can say anything you want Nat, say I held a gun to your head if you want you know I will go along with it, you're one of my two best friends I'd do anything for you," I relied getting out of the car.

"Jen don't say that, I lost you the last time you went out on a limb for me, once we find Emily I'll lose you again, please don't make this harder then it is by acting like we're still friends," her voice choked and I had to stop halfway up to the house to look at her, I could tell she was close to crying.

"Nat I still consider you a friend, I may not have liked you the last time I heard from you, but I have always and will always love you. I promised to talk to you and if the house is empty we can have that talk while we wait outside for someone to show up, but I need to find Emily because she is in danger. She did a lot for me two years ago and I can't let her die because of it," I said.

"What does this have to do with what happened two years ago?" she asked.

"Nat, this is not your fault, and you have to promise me that you won't blame yourself," I begun knowing that telling her wasn't a good idea.

"Fine," she said, I waited, "Promise."

"Emily used her Mother's name to get me off of Nick's excessive force charge, the price for it was that she had to attend her mother's next charity gala at the time it didn't seem like a bad idea, but charity gala's are televised internationally. Apparently one of the guards in Korea's off book prison, that might I add is the most ruthless prison in the world, likes to watch american charity events for the fashion. That's how Ian Doyle found out Lauren Reynolds was Emily Prentiss and that she was alive," I told her watching her to gage her reaction she looked broken, "Nat it's not your fault ok, I want you back in my life. I miss you. I miss you so much that sometimes I wake up and all I can think about it is you. I keep tabs on you every week to make sure you're ok, after we find Emily I'm not leaving you unless you want me too, but I need to find her." It was the truth if it weren't for Emily being in danger I would have thrown myself into her arms and never let go.

"So now, what do we do Jen?" Nat asked, we'd searched the house and deduced that someone had been there, but all of Lieutenant Duquesne's guns were accounted for except her service pistol, I wouldn't have known the difference because the Lieutenant had a room dedicated to guns it contained more guns than your average SWAT storage but Nat said they were all still in the room so that meant that Emily would probably be here sometime later now we were left to sit on the house.

"We wait, we talk about us," I replied, walking out of Lieutenant Duquesne's house, "Pull the battery from your phone though I don't want Garcia finding us here just yet."

"What do I say Jen, I'm sorry I don't deserve you and I know it so I'm sorry," Nat sounded so broken it made my blood run hot, Nick had made her think she was worthless and it made me wish I had killed him.

"Nat, come here," I opened the door to the back seat of the car and waited for her to get in on the other side. Once she was in I pulled her into my lap as best I could in the confined space, "Natalia don't talk like that, you are an amazing woman and the only thing you deserve is to be treated like a princess. The things that Nick did to you and the way that he made you feel were wrong." She wasn't looking at me now and I could tell that she was crying. All I wanted to do was to take away her pain and undue the damage that Nick had done.

"But Jen I'm not a princess I'm a broken mess, no one could ever love me thats why Nick did what he did he was trying to teach me to be good but I didn't learn," She was sobbing now clinging to me like I was some kind of lifeline, if Emily would have showed up now I can't say that I would have done anything about it.

"What makes you think you are anything but perfect?" I prodded softly needing to know what had given her this warped view of herself.

"Jen there were things that I didn't tell you in college, I'm not the angel you think I am, before Nick I dated girls but I only liked it when they would use...things… in me so I thought that I had to like boys, but I still look at girls. Sometimes I like it to hurt I like to be tied up Jen I'm broken," she blurted out, I could feel the heat rise from my chest to my cheeks, right before she'd started dating Nick I had wanted to ask her out but I had always thought that I would have to give up the things I liked and make my preferences more mainstream, I had been ready to to it when she'd come home and said Nick had asked her out.

"Natalia, none of those things make you any less of an amazing person and none of them give anyone the right to cross the line of consensual into abuse," I told her, hoping it sounded more put together than I felt, because my heart was doing flips at the thought that Nat would date a girl and the things that Nat had said were both making me furious at Nick and turning me on.

"Really and who would want a girl that like girls but likes things in her and likes to be hurt? Who would want that and not want to hurt me Jen?" Nat's voice was shaking and I could tell that she was waiting for me tell her that she was awful. She was shaking like a leaf in my arms as I stroked her hair as gently as I could. Her fear of me disowning her is what made me answer the way I did.

"Me, I would want you, I wanted you a long time ago but was too shy to ask because I figured you didn't want me," I replied, stopping all of my movements giving her the chance to run if she wanted, she didn't.

We spent the rest of the night watching the house and talking, I promised her that once Doyle was dead I would stay with her for at least a week and we would find a way to make it so that we could be not only friends again but maybe something more.