"Yes" comes out of my mouth before I can even think about it. Sid looks even more stunned than I feel. I check how else I feel, besides stunned, and I feel good. Maybe I feel even better than good. We're going to move in with Sidney.
"Really?!" Sid asks and his voice goes up an octave. "You're really going to move in?"
"Yeah, we are. There is one thing that worries me though."
He looks serious now and replies "ok. What is it?"
"Sid, we suck at this."
"Suck at what?"
"Suck at relationships. How are we going to do this without imploding?"
I expect him to laugh but he still looks serious.
"Cat, our fight yesterday has taught me that we're going to fight and have disagreements. We're even going to hurt each other. That's what can happen when you're in a relationship and love someone."
"When did you get so smart Sidney?"
He chuckles and replies "when I fell in love with you."
"Oh wow, that's so cheesy Crosby."
"It's too late, you already said that you'll move in. Why don't we go get Lizzy and tell her?"
Tears come to my eyes. He thinks of Lizzy right now and wants to share this with her.
"Yeah, let's go tell her" I respond and kiss him.
Sid's phone rings so I jump out of bed to get dressed while he answers it.
"Hi mom" he says. I wave at him so he says "mom, Cat says hi too."
I smile and begin dressing but stop when Sid says "oh no."
I turn back to Sid and he looks sad so I go back and sit beside him.
"How are you?" He asks Trina and then a pause.
"Ok, what are the plans?"
A longer pause.
"Alright, I'll make arrangements to leave today."
Now I'm worried. He's going to Nova Scotia today? Sid must see that I'm getting upset so he takes my hand while he keeps talking to him mom.
"How's Taylor?"
Pause.
"Ok. I'll make my arrangements and then I'll let you know."
Pause.
"Love you too. Bye."
He hangs up and then rubs his hands over her face. I wait for him.
"My Nana died this morning."
"Oh Sid, this is your mom's mom who's been sick?"
"Yeah. She wasn't going to get better so at least she isn't suffering anymore but it's so hard for my mom. You know?"
I don't know what to say to him so I simply put my arms around him and hold him close.
"I have to go home Cat. For the funeral and to see my family. At least I'm not playing right now."
"Ok, I understand. We can wait until you get back to do our big move. I'll stay with Lizzy at my place until you're home."
"Cat" Sid says and pulls back to look at me. "I want you to come with me. I need you and Lizzy to come home with me."
For the second time this morning I'm stunned.
"You want us to come?"
"I need you Cat. You and Lizzy are my family too. I need you there."
With only one way to respond, I say "then we'll be there with you."
Sid sighs and presses his forehead against mine.
"Thank you" he says. "Why don't you grab your stuff? I'll make the arrangements to get there and then we'll go to your place."
"Ok" I tell him. "But it's my 'old' place now."
Sid smiles and then goes back on his phone. It sounds like he's calling someone at the Pens. While he's taking care our travel plans, I pack up some of my stuff. I grab some clean clothes from the drawers and closet. Since I've been taking care of Sid, I've moved more and more of my clothes here, then I go to the spare room and grab clothes for Lizzy. I can't see us being gone longer than a week so I bring enough clothes.
"We got a flight today. We'll fly into Toronto and connect to Halifax. I have suitcases open on the bed" he tells me and then goes back in. I take a moment to call Miss Sally and ask her to have Lizzy ready when we get there.
It takes Sid no time to pack. At first I'm surprised but then I remember how much traveling he does. He could probably pack in his sleep.
"Ok, that's everything" he says.
"I talked to Miss Sally and she's getting Lizzy ready."
"Good" he says. "I didn't ask, do you have a passport?"
"I do actually. They came to the Centre to do them for us so we had IDs. I had no idea why I'd need it but I did it. Lizzy won't need one. She only needs to be with me and I her birth certificate."
"Good" he says and finishes closing our suitcases.
We're out the door and at my place quickly. Lizzy meets us in front of the building.
"Mommy!" She runs into my arms. I love how excited she always is to see me. Of course something has changed. Just as quickly as she has run into my arms, she leaves them.
"Sidwee!" She yells and jumps into Sid's arms.
"Hi princess" he says and rains kisses all over her face.
"Lizzy" I begin. "We're going to Sidney's home' not the apartment but to Canada." I pause there to let her absorb that.
"To see your mommy and daddy?" She asks Sid. Smart little thing.
"Yep, to see my mom and dad." Sid looks at me now and I pick up that he really doesn't know what else to say.
"Lizzy, Sidney's grandma has gone to heaven. Remember we talked about heaven when Sara's doggie Jojo left us?"
"He died" she tells Sid like children do when they don't fully understand what death means.
"So did my grandma" Sid tells her.
"She died Sidwee?"
"Yes she did princess."
"She's in heaven with Jojo then. He's lots of fun." Lizzy tells him.
Sid doesn't respond but pulls her close for a hug. Lizzy's little arms wrap around him. It's so sweet to watch Sid take comfort in Lizzy's little arms. Unfortunately we have to get going.
"Sid, I'm sorry but we have to go."
He looks at me and nods. We say goodbye to Miss Sally and then are on our way. I take Sid's hand in both of mine while he drives to the airport.
We manage to get through the airport quickly with help from the airline representative. I have Lizzy in my arms until we have to go through security. She's never had this kind of experience before and all the people scare her. She clings to me at security but Sid walks through first and then he bends down and has her walk to him. That does it and we're on our way to the plane. From there on, it's an adventure. I've been so focused on Lizzy that I don't look around me until we're all buckled in. I've never been in an airport or ridden on a plane, never mind in first class.
During the flight, they take care of anything and everything we could want. Lizzy has a lot of fun too. We arrive in Toronto before I know it. We change plans and to fly to Halifax and Lizzy falls asleep on this flight. We have to be last plane in. Sid carries Lizzy off the plane. I'm exhausted too. It's been a long day of travel after busy night of little sleep.
We see Trina and Troy when we enter the public area. Trina walks to us and I simply hug her and hold her tight.
"I'm so sorry" I whisper when we part.
Trina kisses my cheek and says "thank you dear. I'm so glad that you came."
She turns to Sid and I hug Troy.
"She really is glad that you came. I think Lizzy will help too." Troy whispers in my ear.
"I'm glad Troy."
I take Lizzy while Troy and Sid get our luggage. It doesn't take long before we're driving away. It was so kind of Trina and Troy to make sure that there is a car seat for Lizzy.
We drive up to a gate and Troy punches in a code. When we drive up to the house, I see that the lights are on inside and outside of the house.
"I filled the fridge for you dear" Trina tells me.
That's when I realize that this is Sid's house. Wow. I forget that he's rich most of the time. Of course he has two homes. Maybe he has more.
"Thank you Trina" I tell her.
We pull up to the house and I take Lizzy out of her seat while Trina unlocks the door and Sid and Troy get our luggage. I'm not sure what to do so I wait for Sid.
"Come and get out of the cold dear" Trina tells me so I follow her up and into the house.
It's so different than his condo. The condo is all windows and chrome. It's very modern and cool. This house is the opposite. It's full of wood and warm colours. It feels like a home where you can curl up on the sofa with a book or to have a nap.
"I'll show you where we've set up Lizzy" Trina tells me and I follow her up stairs and down a hall. The room is clearly a guest room decorated in pastels and white. Lizzy stays asleep while I undress her down to under pull ups and undershirt and even while I tuck her into be.
I turn the light out and that's when I notice the Cinderella night light. When I look at Trina, she smiles and pats my arm.
"I wanted her to have a night light since it's a strange room. Taylor was always scared of the dark at that age. Sid is always calling her his princess" she tells me.
That's when it hits me. This must be what it's like to have a mother. She shares her experiences with children and does some but important things like making sure your daughter has a night light.
I give Trina a hug and say "thank you."
She returns it and we only part when Sid and Troy come up the stairs. We all go into the master bedroom.
"How's Lizzy?" Sid asks.
"She didn't even wake up" I reply.
"Sid was always like that" Troy says. "Once he's asleep, you need a lot to wake him up."
We chuckle and then Trina and Troy look at each other.
"Unless you need anything" Troy begins. "We're going to head home. Give us a call in the morning and we'll have breakfast together."
We all hug and say goodbye. When I try to follow them downstairs, Trina says "we're fine dear. You get unpacked and grab some sleep. We can find our way out" and then their gone.
I look at Sid and he looks as tired as I feel. We both move at the same time to unpack the luggage and bang into each other.
"Ok, you take that one and I'll do this one. We'll be done in no time" I tell him. Sid agrees and we quickly unpack. He shows me where I can put my stuff away and I leave Lizzy's things on the chest of drawers to put in her room in the morning. By the time we climb into bed, it's midnight. I don't even remember falling asleep.
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"
I wake up to Lizzy yelling. It takes me a moment to get my bearings. I see that we're in Nova Scotia and Cat must have gone to Lizzy since she's not in the bed with me. I grab a shirt and head down the hall where Cat has Lizzy in her arms sniffling.
"What's wrong princess?" I ask.
Lizzy looks up at me and then holds out her arms. I pull her to me and her arms go around my neck and squeeze.
"Munster" she says into my neck.
She wipes her nose on my neck, gross, and says "lots of munsters."
"Ok princess. Just for tonight, do you want to sleep with mommy and me?"
"Yay."
"Sid."
Cat says my name at the same time as Lizzy says yes.
"It's only for tonight. Right Lizzy? Promise."
"Pomise" she replies.
I carry her into our bedroom and hear Cat sigh as she turns off the lights and follows me. We all get into bed and Cat turns off the lights. I probably brought Lizzy in more for me than her. Although we knew that nana was dying, it's still hard to believe that she's gone. I'm never going to sit with her on the dock again and fish. I hug Lizzy to me.
"I love you princess" I whisper and kiss her cheek. She snuggles into my chest.
I feel Cat's hand on my cheek. "I love you Sidney."
I feel my heart begin to heal. Everything I need is right here in my arms.
The next morning, I wake with Lizzy sitting on my chest.
"I told you not to wake him up Lizzy."
"I didn't wake him up. Did I Sidwee?"
"No princess you didn't."
"Ok" Cat says and climbs onto the bed with us. "I just called your mom. She said to call her before we leave and she'll put breakfast on."
"Ok" I reply. "I'm going to grab a shower and then we can go."
I kiss Lizzy and then Cat before going to the bathroom.
It doesn't take me long to get ready and then we're out the door. Lizzy is really excited as we drive to my parent's place. Cat looks around a lot too. That's when I realize that she's probably never traveled before.
"Have you been on a plane before?" I ask her.
"No, never."
"Hopefully we'll have a little time that I can show you guys around."
"Sid, don't worry about that. We're here to see your family."
"I know but we'll see" I tell her as I pull up to the house.
Cat grabs Lizzy who insists on walking up herself so I take her hand. There's still snow here.
When we get into the house, dad immediately grabs Lizzy and helps her undress. I hang up Cat and my coat and then lead her to the kitchen.
"Cat, how did you sleep?" Mom asks her and the two of them chat.
"Hi mom" I say.
"Oh, hi sweetie" she replies and then goes back to chatting with Cat.
It's nice to see them get along so well but I'm really not used to being second in parents' house. I turn and watch dad bring Lizzy into the kitchen. Ok, maybe I'm third now with Lizzy before me too. I love how quickly mom and dad have accepted Cat and Lizzy into the family.
There is the usual chaos in the Crosby home during breakfast. Lizzy's giggling adds to the moment. After we eat and then clean everything up, we relax in the living room. With Lizzy watching cartoons, our conversation turns to the funeral.
"We're going to have it tomorrow to give everyone a chance to come in. Taylor's plane lands at, what time is it Troy?" Mom asks him.
"2pm" dad responds.
"Ok, so we'll need to figure out who goes to get her."
"I'll get her mom" I tell her. "You don't have to figure it out."
"Sid, you've got to be tired and you're still recovering." Mom says in her typical 'mom' way.
"Mom, it's ok. I don't think that driving to get my sister will be too taxing."
"Ok sweetie. I was just thinking of you."
"Actually, since we're still waiting for everyone to arrive, I was going to show Cat and Lizzy Halifax. Of course that's if you don't have anything that I can do."
"Sid" Cat says. "We should really stay here and then just go to pick up your sister."
"Oh dear" mom says. "You do not need to stay here with us this morning. Let Sid show you some of the city."
"Ok, if you're sure Trina."
"Yes, go see, have some fun."
I watch Cat get up and sit beside mom on the sofa where they embrace. I always knew that my parents would accept the woman I fell in love with because I loved her; but, I never thought about how much Cat could get out of the relationship. She's never had a family, until Miss Sally and Lizzy, and definitely never a mom. I'm so happy that they've found something to bond over besides me. I look over at dad and he's smiling at me like he knows exactly what I'm thinking and agrees.
"What are the plans Trina?" Cat asks her about nana's funeral.
"She wanted a wake, traditional Irish, so we'll have the funeral at the church and then the wake. There won't be an internment right now because the ground is too hard. In the spring, we'll go to PEI and bury her urn."
"That makes sense. I didn't think about Lizzy before we got here. Maybe I should have left her at home with Miss Sally."
"Of course you should have brought her with you. Tomorrow is for the family and you are both part of it."
Cat smiles "and we're honoured to be here."
We talk more about the details until Lizzy gets a little antsy so we leave to do some sightseeing.
I take Lizzy and Cat for a drive along the ocean and through parks. It's too cold out to walk unfortunately but they're getting to see how beautiful this part of the country is. We stop for lunch at Cicero's one of my favourite seafood restaurant.
We get a table by window so that we can see the water and the ocean while we eat. Lizzy can't take her eyes off of the water. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is open while she stares out at the waves crashing against the shore.
"Looks like she's enjoying herself" I tell Cat.
"Yeah" Cat agrees. "Wow, look at this menu. Sid, it's really fancy."
Cat's eyes are just as wide as Lizzy's while she stares at the menu.
"I don't know what to choose" she says and puts down the menu.
"Ok, trust me to order?" I ask.
"Yes, please do."
When the waiter comes over, I order a few platters of different things for us to share. I come here so often when I'm in town that they're willing to cook outside of the menu for us.
"Lizzy, next time when we're here we'll be able to walk on the beach and you can swim in the ocean" I tell her.
"Swim, swim" she says.
"Next time" I tell her.
"Sid" Cat says. "Are you sure that it's ok that we bring Lizzy to the funeral?"
"Cat, if you're ok that she comes then everyone will be ok that she's there."
"I don't think that she understands enough for it to bother her. This is a horrible question Sid but, um, your nana's being cremated right. There won't be a" she stops there.
I know what she's asking. "No, she's already been cremated and only the urn will be there."
Cat looks relieved. I understand because I was relieved when my mom told me.
"Cat, I love you so much. Thank you for coming home with me."
"You're welcome. I love you too."