The Ottawa series has been tough and hopefully the guys can put it away tonight. It has been an incredible experience especially since Sid's parents are traveling with us too. Trina only goes to a few games during the season but she loves to be there for the playoffs. Sid has been really busy and we haven't been able to spend a lot of time with him but he did prepare me for that. Even though we're at home for the next game, Sid has been very focused on the game. When he's not at the rink in meetings or practicing, he's watching film of Ottawa games. He hasn't been completely happy with his play the last two games and is focused on doing better in the next one, tonight. Typical Sidney, he got a goal and an assist and still thought that he should play better.
The games in Ottawa were a lot of fun. Trina showed Lizzy and I around the city, Canada's capital, which both Lizzy and I loved, especially the mounties. One day, when we were at the rink watching practice, Troy had Lizzy on his lap while Trina and I chatted about nothing really important. The conversation between Troy and Lizzy soon had Trina and me crying.
"You're Sidwee's daddy, right?" she asked Troy.
"Yes, I'm Sid's daddy" he answered with a smile.
"Sidwee's my daddy" she said proudly.
Troy smiled back at her and replied "he sure is."
Although the Crosby's were, and still are, reserved about how fast our relationship has moved, they love Lizzy and have completely accepted us in their lives.
"So you're my grandpa" Lizzy told him and then turned back to the rink.
I watched Troy closely to see his response. Was he going to be upset? Mad? Will he laugh it off? I knew he wouldn't be mean to Lizzy but I really didn't know how he'd respond to this announcement from Lizzy. I watched as he went from being stunned, to contemplative until he finally smilee and kissed Lizzy's cheek.
"Yeah, I guess I am your grandpa" he told her.
When Troy turned to look at us, I saw that his eyes were wet. When I looked at Trina, hers were wet too. Lizzy, who was oblivious to the emotions of the adults, began to clap for her daddy. It was a very special and wonderful moment.
"You know that we both think of you that way" Trina said softly to me. "You are part of the family Cat. I can see how Sidney fell for you both so fast."
I looked at Trina and smiled. This is what a mom is which made me think.
"Trina, can I talk to you about something? It's actually about a fight Sid and I had. Is that too weird?"
Trina paused for a moment before answering "sure."
"It was so weird Trina. Like I told you, I quit my job after Sid and I became engaged. It wasn't fair to keep Tessa hanging and not knowing what I was going to do. I also know that I'm not going back to the diner. It was a really easy decision to make. Anyway, when Sid and I talked about it, things got really weird. He was happy that I quit and started talking about me staying at home to spend more time with Lizzy. Trina, I don't know what really happened but I got upset. It felt like I was supposed to stay home and let him take care of me. I've been so independent and taken care of Lizzy by myself so I guess it didn't sit right that I was relying on Sid to take care of me, of us." I told her about the rest of our argument and how I felt.
Trina bit her lip like I've seen Sid and Taylor do before. She's was thinking.
"Can I be honest with you Cat?"
Those few words scared me a bit but I said "of course."
Trina smiled. "Cat, you are a remarkable woman and you've done more for Lizzy then you probably thought you could before you had her. You worked very hard to be a good mom and provider to Lizzy."
I heard the 'but' at the end of that sentence so I said "but?"
"But" she begins. "You haven't done it all on your own or all by yourself. You've had Miss Sally to help you care for Lizzy while you worked. From what you've told me, the Centre has done so much for you too. You took classes and they've subsidized classes like swimming for Lizzy. Then there's the family that runs the diner you've been working at. You earned your pay cheque of course but they've also been flexible with your schedule when Lizzy was sick or you needed to take a day off. I don't say this to be undervalue your effort and work Cat. You are an incredible woman who, against the odds, worked hard to be a great mom. What I'm trying to point out is that you've had support along the way. That's all that Sidney is doing Cat. He's trying to give you the freedom and support you need to do and be whatever you want."
I looked back at practice and thought about what Trina said. She was right that I've had support along the way; maybe not before I had Lizzy but for the last two years I've been fortunate to have both Tessa and Miss Sally in my life. I'm so lucky to have Sidney in my life now and know how different my life has become. The money is the least of the ways my life has changed. I looked at Trina and then Troy with Lizzy on his lap. I have a family now and people who love me and who I love. Lizzy has two parents, grandparents and, hopefully, brothers and sisters too.
"Thank you Trina" I told her. "I hadn't looked at it that way and you're right."
"Dear, that's what family is for; we love you and tell you when you're being silly too. Usually we do both at the same time" she smiled at me and I smiled back.
I'll always remember that moment at practice and not for watching the guys. I'll always remember the moment when Troy became Lizzy grandpa and Trina became my mom.
Cat's relationship with my parents has always been good but it seemed to change after the Ottawa trip. We won the series of course but they seem to be closer and it's more than Lizzy now calling my parents grandpa and grandma. I'm seeing a glimpse of what our life will be. Cat and Lizzy will join us in the playoffs and travel, before Lizzy is in school of course, and my parents will join them. We'll spend summers together in Nova Scotia and LA. Lizzy loved the water out east. I can't wait to show her and Cat the ocean in LA.
"Crosby! You going to daydream or you going to join the line rushes?!" I hear coach yell at me. "The Bruins won't wait for you to focus."
I give Dan an apologetic look and focus on practice again. I'll see my girls soon enough. After we're warmed up, we break into defense and offense groups to focus on plays for the Bruins series. I know that I'm going to have to deal with Chara. For most defenders that they have shadow me, I can usually shake them because I'm faster. With Chara, he's almost as fast because he's a fucking foot taller than I am. His reach and stride is almost double any opponent. I'll have to keep moving and try to tire him out while giving others the opportunity to score. If their best defenseman is focused on me then it should shake someone loose. We scrimmage some to test out a few plays before finishing practice. I stay out and Tanger helps me practice tip ins.
When we get off the ice, I change into workout gear and meet Kuni, Duper and Reirden to watch film. We talk about how to approach some of the Bruin's defense with the plays we just practiced. It begins to gel finally. It usually takes at least one practice during the playoffs to get one series out of your head and focus on the next one. I like to watch film after the first practice and then I'm refocused on the game again. Duper and Kuni understand that and join me each time. They're great line mates and team mates. I'm lucky all the way around.
"You going to work out Sid?" Duper asks me when we're done.
"Na, need the rest more. I'm going right home."
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
I look at Duper. What am I forgetting? Oh shit!
"Yeah, I guess I am" I say. "I'll follow you home to pick up Lizzy from her play date with Lola" I tell him.
"Some dad you are Sid; forgetting about your child."
"I'm still getting the hang of this Dupe. Leave me alone, would you?"
"You wait until Lizzy is old enough and then I'll tell her all of the stories I've been recording over the years. I'll especially love telling the one about how you forgot to pick her up."
"Ha" I reply.
"Where's Cat?" Duper asks. "She usually goes with Lizzy. Not that it's a problem, but Carole-Lyn said that Cat had something she had to do alone."
"She would only tell me that it was for a surprise that she'd give me tonight."
"Ah, you mean the after the kids are in bed kinda surprise" Duper says and wiggles his eyebrows at me.
"Once again, ha! We're good on that count now that I've installed that lock."
"Saved my life too, seriously" Duper replies.
"Is that why you have four kids?" I ask and Duper just laughs.
I don't know when everything has lined up so perfectly in my life. We're going to win the Cup this year, I know it, and I have my girls. Perfect.
"Bill, I can't thank you enough for pushing this through so quickly" I tell him.
"You are very welcome Cat. As I told you previously, all you need is for Sidney to sign the papers and then I'll file them. It's as easy as that although it's only his signature that makes the adoption final. Filing the papers with the court is just a formality now."
"It can't be usual to have someone come for a 'secret' adoption so I appreciate your discretion" I tell him.
"No, it's not usual but I am happy to help with the surprise."
Bill walks me to the door and we say goodbye. I walk into the Starbucks next door, get a late and sit at a table simply staring at the documents in front of me. It's done. Sidney Crosby is officially Lizzy's dad. Wow. The import of the moment washes over me like nothing really has since I said 'yes' to marrying Sid. I've had moments of clarity and joy but this moment really gives me incredible joy. Sid and I are parents, together, officially. Lizzy will always have a mom and dad, officially. The love I feel for my daughter and soon-to-be husband is overwhelming and I can feel my eyes fill and the tears spill.
"Are you ok?" the woman at the next table asks me.
I give her a watery smile and reply "yeah, these are tears of joy. I'm getting married."
"That's so nice. Congratulations" she tells me and then goes back to her laptop.
I want to tell Sid right now but I have the whole thing planned out tonight. I make a quick decision and dial the number on my phone. Trina picks up right away.
"Cat, this is a nice surprise."
"Hi Trina. How is Taylor? Is she surprised to see you?"
"It's so nice to see her in her first play-off game. Yeah, she was really surprised to see us here and I'm so glad that Sid's series ended when it did so that we could make it."
"Trina" I begin but then second guess myself. Screw it, I need to tell someone else besides Nathalie. "Trina, I'm just leaving the lawyers office right now" I tell her and wipe away the fresh tears before I can continue.
"Cat, I hope you didn't go to a lawyer to get that prenup done. You don't need to do that to prove that you don't want Sidney's money. That's between you and Sidney. Troy will have his own opinion, I'm sure, but you don't need to prove that you love him to us."
Oh, I never considered that she would think that's why I'm at the lawyer.
"No, Trina, that's not why I went to the lawyer. I know that I don't need to prove anything to you, although it is nice to hear that from you, but I was there for another reason. A really, really good reason" I tell her.
"Don't leave me waiting Cat. What did you do?"
"A couple of weeks ago, I went to the lawyer to have some papers drawn up. I have the papers that officially make Lizzy Sid's daughter. They're adoption papers" I finish quickly. All of a sudden I'm a little nervous telling Sid's mom about the adoption.
"Oh" is all she says.
Now I'm really worried. Should I have told her or maybe I should have let Sid tell her? Shit.
"He's going to be so excited Cat. That's a wonderful surprise."
I let go of the breath that I've been holding. She is happy about it. I guess I was silly to have a moment of worry because his parents love Lizzy and we are part of the family.
"I'm so glad you're happy about it Trina. I have the whole thing planned tonight for the surprise. Sid is going to be excited."
"Excited? I think that may be an understatement for how Sidney is going to feel. He already feels that Lizzy is his and to have it be official, legal, will be icing on that cake."
"Yeah, I'm going to wait until Lizzy is asleep. She's too young to understand what this is all about. I want this to be something special for the two of us to celebrate."
"Yeah, it is special for the two of you. It's like you're giving him your daughter and that's incredibly special. Oh, I'm so happy for you both."
"Thanks Trina. I'm really excited to tell him. Actually, I should get going, my bus will be here in a few minutes."
"Ok Cat, thank you for sharing with me. Give my love to Lizzy."
"I will, thanks Trina."
We say goodbye then I call Sid while I grab my coffee and run to the bus. Damn, I think when I get his voicemail. I really want to hear his voice right now as I'm thinking about how much I love him. I guess his voice mail will have to do.
"Hi, it's me" I tell him after I hear the beep. "I'm on my way home and wanted to let you know. I missed you today and can't wait to see you. I love you so much Sidney. See you soon."
I hang up with a smile on my face that always happens when I think about loving Sid. That's the last thing that goes through my mind as I step into the cross walk and only see the bus a moment before it hits me.