Author's Chapter Notes:
This is an emotional chapter but so worth it.
Sara finished with her morning rounds thirty minutes ago and was now working on updating patient files. With only three left to go, one of the staff nurses stopped by to tell her there was a couple at the desk asking for her. Eyeing the small stack of patient files she had to get through, she sighed, put her pen down, and pushed away from her small desk.
Rounding the corner a smile came to Sara's face as she saw Matt and Vicki were the ones who had summoned her. Vicki saw her first and returned a genuine smile of her own. Sara saw Vicki poke her husband in the ribs to get his attention, which only made her smile widen. "Hi." Sara said as she neared the couple.
"Hi Sara." Vicki said reaching out to hug her friend. As she stepped back, her face sobered. "I hope we didn't bother you." She said with a little concern in her voice.
"Not at all." Sara assured her and Vicki smiled again. "So what brings you two to the hospital today?" Looking down at Vicki's stomach, "Everything ok with the baby?"
"Oh yes." Vicki said excitedly. "Everything's great. Just a check up really and an ultrasound. Dr. Smith says everything looks great."
"That's good to hear." Sara couldn't help beaming back at the obvious joy of her friend.
"I know. I'm just so glad were over half way there. I mean I know the last three months are supposed to be a bit challenging with the baby growing so much but I can't imagine it'll be any harder than the first three." Vicki gave a little laugh. "I was so tired all the time. It never seemed like I could get enough sleep."
Matt had his arm wrapped around his wife now and gave her a little squeeze. "I'm just happy you can keep food down now. Those first three months had me a little worried with you always running to the bathroom every morning." Matt had been looking at his wife but as he said these last words he turned back to look at Sara and his smile faded. All color had left Sara's face. "Sara? Are you ok?"
Vicki's attention was now on Sara as well and she reached out to touch her friend's arm. "Sara?"
Sara had been listening with joy to her friend until she'd started to describe her first few months of pregnancy. The revelation hit her like a ton of bricks. Was she??? No. No. She couldn't…but… She couldn't think. And she needed to think. She needed… Suddenly she realized two sets of eyes staring at her with concern and registered they were asking her if she was ok. "Um…yea, yea. I'm fine." She paused. "I…uh…I just…I should get back."
"Oh. Ok." Vicki said. "Sara are you sure your…"
Sara didn't let her friend finish her sentence. "Yea. I'm fine." Sara attempted a smile. It was weak she knew, but it was the best she could do. Not waiting for any more questions, she turned and walked back toward her desk.
Ignoring the three folders waiting for her, she unlocked the drawer and grabbed her purse. Slinging it over her shoulder, she headed straight for the bathroom almost knocking a nurse down in the process. Sara thought she murmured 'sorry' to the girl but she really didn't know. Her mind was swimming and her breathing was erratic.
Reaching the staff bathroom she looked in the stalls to make sure no one else was there and then locked the door behind her. Moving to the counter, she opened her purse and dumped the contents desperately searching for her birth control pills. Finding them, she looked at the last refill date and sank to the floor. Her back against the tiles, head in her hand, she felt the tears begin to fall.
What was she going to do? How far along was she? What would she tell Michael? What would he think? There were so many questions flowing through her head. There was no doubt in her mind she was pregnant. The evidence was there. Had been there staring her in the face for the last…month, she realized. How in the world had she missed this?!
Sara was so caught up in her reverie she almost missed the knocking. She wanted to ignore it. She was going to ignore until she heard Mary on the other side. "Sara? Sara are you ok?"
Knowing she could trust Mary and desperately needing someone to trust at the moment, she moved to unlock the door for her friend.
When the door opened, Mary gasped at the sight of her friend and quickly moved inside to close and lock it again behind her. "Sara what???" But the look on Sara's face stopped her from finishing her question.
Trying to pull herself together, Sara took a deep breath. She needed Mary's help. Turning back to the counter, she began to load everything back in her purse. "I need you to do something for me."
"Sure." Mary said without hesitation. "Anything. You know that."
Sara just nodded. "I need." She wiped the tears from her face and eyes. "I need you to get an ultra sound machine and a room." Sara took a deep breath. "And I need you to see how far along I am."
Mary's jaw dropped and it took her a minute to compose herself but finally she did. "Give me ten minutes. I'll be right back."
Her friend left the room and Sara locked the door again behind her. Walking over to the sink, she turned it on and splashed the cold water onto her face. Looking up at herself in the mirror she saw the redness of her eyes from crying and glanced down at her stomach. Her hands came up and spread across her abdomen. She didn't know how long she stood like that but eventually there was another knock at the door.
"Sara, it's me."
Dropping her hands, Sara went to unlock the door again for her friend.
"Come on I got us a room."
Grabbing her purse, Sara followed Mary. They walked down the hall and into one of the freight elevators rarely used by staff. Mary pushed the button for the fifth floor and the doors closed. Neither said anything as the arrived at their floor. Again Sara followed Mary down the hall and into a small exam room. They both stepped inside and Mary closed the door behind them.
At first Sara just stood there unmoving and stared at both the bed and the machine sitting beside it. She felt Mary's hand on her arm and it brought her back to the present. Moving to the bed, Sara lay down pulling up her shirt and unbuttoning her pants. Her friend waited by the door until Sara was situated on the bed before approaching.
Neither said anything as Mary turned on the machine and reached for the jelly. She met Sara's eye briefly before squirting a generous amount onto Sara's bare stomach. The cold barely registered to Sara. She was still in shock. Closing her eyes, she waited for what would come next.
Sara felt the instrument pressing gently against her and then…then she heard it. A heartbeat. Her eyes flew open to glance first at her belly and then at the monitor. Mary noticed her movement and turned from the monitor to face her friend but Sara barely noticed. Eyes looking at the picture of the baby on the screen, she couldn't focus on anything else.
The more she looked, the more amazed she was, the more this little life became real. Her heart started beating faster and a warm glow began to spread through her body. A small smile played at her lips and fresh tears started to fall.
Mary had been watching her friend closely. She'd been holding her breath since she'd walked into the bathroom and seen the tragic look on her friend's face. As she watched the change come over Sara, Mary began to breath easier. "I'm not an OBGYN mind you but…I would say 2-3 months." She said in a soft voice.
Sara finally met her friend's gaze. "I'm gonna be a mom." She whispered.
Mary smiled back. "Yea."
They both sat and watch the monitor for a few more minutes before Sara rose and began cleaning the jelly from her stomach. "What am I going to tell Michael?"
It wasn't really a question, Mary knew. She gave a little chuckle, "Well I suppose your going to tell him he's going to be a father." Sara bit her lower lip and Mary began to be concerned again. "What's wrong Sara? Does Michael not want children?"
"He…" Sara paused. "No it's not that. I mean we talked about having kids but…well not now. We wanted to wait a few years." She sighed.
Mary wrapped her arms around Sara. "Everything will be fine Sara. You'll see."
Sara hugged her friend back. "Thank you Mary. You are such a good friend to me." Pulling back, "We should probably get back. Somebody's got to be looking for us."
"You sure your ok to go back?" Mary asked concerned again.
"Yes. Besides…" She bit her lower lip again. "I need the rest of the day to come of with what I'm going to say tonight."
Wrapping her arm around Sara for a quick squeeze they walked back toward the elevator and headed back to work.
~
Michael was just finishing up with some e-mail when his cell phone rang. The screen let him know it was his brother. "Hello Linc."
"Hey Michael."
Michael waited for his brother to say something else, to tell him why he was calling him at work but he was only met with silence. "Did you need something Linc?"
"Um. Yea. I was wondering…if maybe you could stop by the house tonight on your way home." Lincoln paused. "I kinda wanted to talk to you about something."
"Sure." Michael said a little confused. "Everything ok with you and LJ?"
"Yea we're good." Lincoln said. And before Michael could ask anything else, "Well I'll let you get back. I'll…I'll see you tonight then."
"Ok…" Michael said as his brother disconnected.
Well that was interesting Michael thought. Lincoln said he and LJ were ok, so was it maybe Jessica or Sam? He hadn't really gotten a chance to ask. Looking down at the clock he saw he only had a little over an hour to go and more an enough work to keep him busy. Finishing with the e-mail he was on, he quickly moved to the next and pushed his brother's mysterious meeting tonight out of his mind.
~
Michael arrived at his brother's house just as the clock changed to read five-thirty. As he made his way up the short walkway, his mind began working overtime trying to come up with the reason Lincoln wanted to see him. They'd just seen each other last night, which added another piece to the puzzle. Why didn't Lincoln just talk to him last night? Or did something come up today and if so what?
His brother opened the door before Michael even got a chance to knock. "Hey Michael." Lincoln greeted him.
Michael noticed the nervous smile on his brother's face and it only increased his anxiety. Stepping inside, Michael didn't wait to sit down. "What's going on Linc?" His brother didn't answer; in fact his brother wasn't really looking at him at all. "Linc?" Lincoln still didn't answer. Instead he moved to sit down and glanced up at his brother motioning for him to follow. Reluctantly Michael did.
Michael was just about ready to jump out of his seat when his brother finally spoke. "Michael is everything ok? I mean are you doing ok…with your LLI I mean?"
"Yea. Why?" Michael asked taken off guard by the question.
Lincoln took a deep breath. "Look Michael. I was talking to Sara last night…before you came back with the food…and she's…concerned." Lincoln noticed a strange expression cross his brother face and hurried to continue. "Sara says you've been acting…well not like yourself for the past few weeks." Lincoln paused. Michael just continued to stare straight ahead. "Look I don't know what's going on Michael but… I love you man and if you need to talk to someone I'm here but…you need to talk to Sara, whatever it is."
Lincoln took a deep breath. Michael was still as a statue. He waited.
Finally Michael looked up and stared blankly at his brother. "You talked to Sara last night. In the kitchen." Lincoln just nodded. "What did she…what did she say?"
"She just said she's worried about you. That you've not been acting like yourself and you won't tell her why."
"She cried." Michael stated.
"Yes."
Michael just sat there for several minutes processing this new information. His head was swimming. He needed to focus. Then he shook his head. No. There was only one thing he needed. He needed to talk to Sara and as soon as possible. Looking down at his watch he had an hour until she was off work. Standing abruptly, Michael barely noticed his brother getting up to follow him to the door.
"Michael?" Lincoln asked wearily.
He looked up at his brother briefly but before he could respond the door opened from the outside and LJ came bursting in. "Hey Uncle Mike."
"Hey LJ." Michael said in a muted tone.
LJ didn't notice. He was already halfway down the hall. Jessica was flying in the following day, which was all he could think about.
Lincoln turned to watch his son practically fly down the hallway and by the time he turned back, his brother was already out the door. He stood for a moment and watched Michael get into his car and drive away.
~
Sara made her way up the elevator to the apartment. She'd managed to get through her day without too much trouble. Her emotions were jumbled to say the least. Every time she'd thought of seeing the baby, her baby, on the screen and hearing its heartbeat her own heart soared. But then she would think of the uncertainty she felt about telling Michael and her anxiety level would go through the roof.
As Sara walked in the door, she could smell the aroma of garlic, oregano, and basil. Italian. Quickly laying her purse on the table beside the door, she made her way through the living room and found Michael placing a bowl of salad on the table. He looked amazing. Still in his work clothes, he'd removed his jacket and tie and rolled his shirtsleeves up to his elbows revealing the intricate ink she loved to explore with her fingers…and her mouth. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him and then that same heart sank into her stomach. What was he going to say? How was he going to react?
Her mind had been trying to anticipate his reaction all day. Barely able to concentrate on her patients, she'd been grateful to Mary, who'd once again stood by her side and helped her. During her lunch break, she'd set up an appointment with an OB/GYN for tomorrow at one o'clock. It had taken some work but thankfully she'd gotten a sympathetic ear on the other end of the phone and was able to get in. She'd even agonized about the time of the appointment. They were squeezing her in and had given her the option of either coming in first thing in the morning at around 8:15 or right after lunch at 1:00.
If she went in the morning, Michael would be at work. She wouldn't even have to tell him tonight. She'd taken so long to decided the woman on the other end of the line asked if she was still there. In the end she'd decided to take the later appointment. She'd let him decide if he wanted to come with her or not.
Biting her lip, she took a step forward and he looked up to meet her gaze. There was something behind those knowing blue eyes of his as he gave her a small smile. She smiled back her own timid greeting. He closed the few feet separating them and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I hope your hungry." he said as he stepped back towards the table.
Moving to take her seat, "It smells wonderful."
The food was delicious and normally she'd have done a lot more damage to the homemade lasagna, garlic bread, and salad; but not tonight. She'd struggled to get what she did down. Normally they shared their day over dinner but tonight neither spoke other than the normal pleasantries. They could have been strangers on a first date, not a couple getting married in two days.
Sara couldn't stand it anymore; she took her finished plate into the kitchen and rinsed it in the sink. The chair in the other room scraped across the floor and footsteps approached her. Shutting her eyes, she bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath. Now or never Sara, she said to herself. Turning to face him, "Michael..."
"Sara..." They said in unison.
A small nervous smile played on both their lips. "You first." Michael said.
Ok, she could do this. Taking another deep breath to steel herself, she looked down at her hands as they twisted together before she spoke and then raised her eyes through her lashes to look at him. "Michael...Michael I'm pregnant."
Michael let out a whoosh of air from his lungs and closed his eyes. "Thank you." he said softly.
His response took her off guard. What did he mean, 'thank you'. She waited to see if he would say anything more but his eyes remained closed. "Michael?" When his eyes opened, she realized they were different. The darkness that had been clouding them for the past weeks was no longer there. It made no sense to her. She was just getting ready to ask him to explain when he took a step and brought his arms around her, pulling into him.
"Thank you for finally telling me." he said, his voice deep with emotion.
She hugged him back, so gratefully that he didn't appear to be upset with the news of becoming a father. His comment didn't make sense to her; however, so she pulled back slightly to look in is eyes. "Michael what do you mean finally telling you. I just found out today."
His brow furrowed as he searched her face. "You just found out today?"
"Yes." she said honestly. "I made an appointment to go see an OB/GYN tomorrow." Michael tilted his head up and was now looking towards the ceiling. "Michael?"
"I'm sorry." he whispered as his eyes came back down to look into hers.
She brought her hand up to cup his face. "What are you sorry about?"
He shook his head as if trying to clear it. "I thought...I thought you knew weeks ago and just weren't telling me for some reason."
"Weeks ago?" she asked. Then it hit her. "Michael how long have you known?"
"Almost three weeks."
"Three weeks!" she choked. "Why didn't you..." Then she stopped and everything started to become clear; his moods, his vague questions that didn't make sense. "You thought I was keeping it from you? Why?"
He rested his forehead against hers. "I didn't know. That's why..." He paused. "I'm so sorry Sara."
They stood like that for a while staring into each other's eyes. It was an unspoken communication.
Sara was the first to move. The hand that had been resting on the side of his face moved to the base of his neck as she leaned in. She closed her eyes as her lips found his. It was a whisper of a kiss as her lips moved barely touching his. "I love you." she murmured, letting him know he was forgiven.
It was like Michael had been waiting for those words. His hands pulled her closer to him as his lips enforced more pressure against hers. She melted into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. The kiss was full of unsaid meaning. It was love, and passion; happiness and forgiveness.
His lips moved from her mouth to her neck and then to her ear. "You're going to be a mom." His soft words tickling her ear as he spoke.
Hands still cupping his neck as she held him close to her, "And you're going to be a dad." she smiled.
"I know." he whispered as his mouth made his way back to her lips.
This time there was a bit more urgency in his lips as they locked to hers. His hands pulled her tight and his left hand snaked up the back of her shirt to caress her bare back making small circles on her skin. Slowly he ended the kiss and brought his hand up to brush her hair away from her face. They stood silent for a long time; their eyes communicated more than their words could. Eventually they separated and cleaned up the dishes, never straying too far from the other. When the final dish was taken care of they quietly linked hands and made their way into the bedroom.
End Notes:
Just an FYI to everyone who is reading this, I wrote this story a while ago. It was my first ever fan fic and I started writing/posting it on another site in May of 2008 and completed it in Feb 2009. I had no idea the writers of PB were going to make Sara pregnant nor how the show would end. I know I've said this before but I so like my ending better. ;)
So only 3 more chapters to go. If your reading this, leave me some love. :)