AN: This is where I may loose some of you with this story - sorry. Just please don't be mean if you find you don't like what's going on.
Oh and if you have the time you can listen to that very lovely song dedicated to this chapter.
You got growing up to do – Joshua Radin
''Jane'', the blonde ran up to her girlfriend after school. ''You have been quiet since yesterday'', Maura circled her arms around Jane's waist from behind. The taller girl was glad that she'd have at least a few more seconds before having to face Maura. ''Was everything okay at home yesterday?''
''Yeah'', Jane rasped. And Maura heard it immediately in Jane's voice – something was amiss.
''Jane look at me'', she instructed after pulling her hands off of Jane.
''Can we do this somewhere else?'', Jane pleaded, tears starting already.
''Oh Jane, what's the matter?'', Maura walked around to face Jane and was startled by the look of utter destroyal on her girlfriends face. ''Jane?'', Maura asked again, voice now going weak.
Jane just walked towards her house, Maura in tow. They walked for five whole minutes in silence. Jane trying to get a hold of herself and wondering how she was going to start the conversation. Maura asking herself what could have caused Jane so much turmoil.
It wouldn't be long before she found out anyway.
A few minutes later they walked into the Rizzoli home. When Angela met their countenance she knew what was about to go down and silently communicated with Jane that she'd keep the house empty for them.
With that she left, offering Maura a small kiss to the cheek. Jane was half way up the stairs already, and Maura soon followed.
Inside the room, Jane plopped herself on the bed and began to rub her hands vigorously.
''I've made some changes in my plan'', Jane said calmly. ''After graduation I am going to the police academy''
''What?''
Jane didn't answer, she knew Maura's 'what' didn't mean she did not hear the question.
''That wasn't the plan Jane''
''Like I said Maura, I've made changes to my plan'', she said a little exasperatedly.
''But why? Can you even get into the academy at your age. And we discussed this Jane. You were going to go to college, because that's best for your future, remember? For promotion to Homicide Detective. This doesn't make any sense'', Maura looked at Jane with nothing but confusion.
''Me and Frost talked to Korsak, he's going to help us out. We want to do this now''
''Well I suppose if you have your mind made up I can't convince you otherwise'', Maura said, still standing in the same stop she was since entering the room. She could sense this wasn't all Jane had to say though. ''Can I ask why the sudden change of plan though?''
''We may have to enroll into a one year live-in program''
And Maura's eyes nearly fell out. ''So what are you saying Jane?''
Jane breathed in and out heavily. This was it. ''I am going to be an hour away from here, for a really long time. I don't know if this is going to work out''
Maura squared her shoulders and stood stiffly, ''By this are you referring to our relationship?'', it sounded like a warning.
Peel the band aid off Jane told herself.
''Yes. I don't think our relationship is going to work. You know…me there, you here and what not''
''AND WHAT NOT!'', Maura's voice was getting louder by the sentence. ''You are talking as if this is some sort of joke to you''
''It's not, I swear. I just don't want to waste your time, I wont be able to do it''
''Are you breaking up with me?'', Maura whispered, dropping the bag slung around her shoulders to the ground.
And Jane's silence was all the answer she needed.
''Jane, I love you'', she stated.
''I love you too. But…''
''I don't want to hear it. Don't you dare say but. Are you seeing someone? Or is there someone else you are interested in? Have I bored you to death now? Is that it?''
''It's not that Maura'', Jane stood to try to console her…Maura.
''Don't touch me'', Maura shoved Jane off of her. ''Why are you doing this Jane?'', Maura cried. In her mind she was thinking about the letter she had at home that she had ignored for Jane. And here Jane was, dropping her like an old shoe to go to the academy with Frost. It made her very very angry.
''You know the whole long distance relationship thing is hard'', Jane reasoned.
''You are just going to be a few towns away Jane. I can drive over, and you can always come home, and…''
''You deserve better than that Maura''
''You know nothing about what I deserve'', Maura spat. ''If you did you would know that I deserve you. That I deserve to be in this relationship. How could you do this to me Jane?''
''Maur, I'm sorry''
''Why now? Why didn't you end things before, or after schools close for the summer. Why did you pick today, after school''
''I just needed to tell you soon Maura. I didn't want you finding out from Frost or something''
''So what, I'm supposed to look at you everyday for the next two weeks and have my heart break all over again?''
''That wasn't my intention Maur''
''Are you sure?'', the blonde shouted back. ''YOU LET ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU'', she yelled louder. ''And you kissed me, and you fucked me. And NOW you don't think you can do it. What about me Jane. Do I have a say in all of this. In your 'change of plan'?''
Jane had never seen Maura mad - ever. They never fought in the whole time they'd known each other. Maybe just a few disagreements here and there, but that was it. And she silently told herself that this would be the first and last time, if Maura ever spoke to her again after this. The blonde was fuming, and hurt, and Jane hated herself for being the cause of it.
And they argued back and forth, Maura trying to understand why it was necessary to end their relationship because Jane wanted to go to the academy. Asking Jane why she even wanted to go there in the first place. She got no straight answers, mostly just a string of varied apologies. Maura shouted, and then openly begged, and cried, but nothing seemed to pierce through the brunette.
''I hate you Jane'', she eventually said when her anger had reached its peak and gotten the best of her. ''You promised me, just a few days ago that we'd be together forever. You lied to me''
Maura looked shattered, and Jane felt a million times worse. She briefly considered telling Maura the truth and ending all the hurt. But she knew it would create in the longer term more hurt. It was better if Maura hated her for thinking Jane didn't love her than despising her for ruining her future.
''You broke my heart. I hope you can live with that for the rest of your life'', after those words she stomped out of Jane's room and ran downstairs. She called her driver and walked down the block waiting for him to get her.
...
It never occurred to Maura's young mind that her mother might have had anything to do with Jane breaking up with her – or Angela for that matter. Because if her application to the school or her family relocating to England had anything to do with it wouldn't Jane have mentioned something? Wouldn't Jane have said she's going to the academy because Maura was moving away? Wouldn't Jane have questioned Maura about why she had been keeping this a secret from her?
So no, Maura never considered all these possibilities. She was rather, in a tortured state of hurt. All she could think about was where she had gone wrong, or what she had done to push Jane away. But she couldn't for the life of her figured it out, because everything had been so fine. They were so happy together, and there had been no prior signs indicating that there was reason for a dissolution of their relationship.
Later, Maura knew, that she would really feel hurt. Presently, she mostly just felt anger. Jane had broken her heart without giving her a valid cause. Jane had known that this was Maura's first relationship. She had been well aware of the fact that the blonde loved her. But she had gone on to do this, leaving Maura absolutely shattered.
None of them made it to school the next day.
Constance spent the morning nursing her heart broken daughter with tea and muffins. She held Maura for a long time as the poor girl cried her lungs out. Constance had never been one to offer this kind of comfort, but she knew there was never a time her daughter was going to need her more that while going through her first heartbreak.
Jane had blatantly refused to leave the confines of her bed. She just couldn't do it. What she'd said to Maura left her physically sick. She had taken the heart of a girl she loved more than anything and trampled on it mercilessly. Yes, it was sickening. Angela understood this, and offered nothing but support to her baby girl. She herself had gone through a heartbreak or two in her days, and she knew it was nothing exciting or easy to recover from.
Maura was a fraction ready for school the next day. She made it a point not to join Frost and the other guys like she normally did and stayed to herself instead. She didn't see Jane throughout the whole day though, and figured the brunette was avoiding her. Unbeknownst to her, Jane hadn't made it to school that day either.
When Maura didn't see Jane again the next day again she began to feel agitated….no, pissed off! Jane was the one who broke up with her. How could she have the nerve to take days off school. What was she so distressed about. If Maura was wrongfully dumped and still able to make it to school, so should Jane.
Maura had briefly considered asking Frost why him and Jane had made these changes and decided to go to the academy. But she found herself too angry and hurt to talk to anyone about it. Several texts from their friends sat in her phone unopened. She didn't care what anyone else had to say unless it was Jane. And sadly, none of those messages were from her brunette ex-girlfriend. It felt like a nightmare thinking of Jane as an ex. Didn't people usually take steps towards become ex's? Just like everything un-normal in her life, her relationship had just taken an unimaginably large leap in the wrong direction – she shouldn't be so surprised right? Its not like things really ever worked out so well for her. Jane had been the exception, but now she wasn't anymore.
...
That weekend, Maura spent a lot of time thinking about her offer from Oxford. She had cast away that excellent opportunity for Jane. But if they weren't together anymore, what was the point. She might as well. Its not like there was anything else left for her in Boston if her parents were moving away. She was sure that the rest of the Rizzoli's would still care for her, and even their friends. But it would now just be an imposition if she wasn't with Jane anymore.
*Hides behind her hands*