A little bit stronger – Sara Evans

And just like that Maura left Boston, without so much as a backward glance. Settling in England was not a hurdle for her, she'd been before, and there really wasn't much to stress over. A new place is just what she needed actually. Making friends wasn't on her mind, lovers even further from it. She spent the first two weeks before her summer program nursing her broken heart and carefully putting the shattered pieces back in place. It was the most trying thing she'd ever done, and she did it all on her own.

Once getting to England her parents had thrown themselves into work, just as she'd predicted. Constance occasionally asked how she was doing but it was merely obligatory, the woman had more pressing matters now. With enough time passed, Maura began schooling. It was a welcomed distraction. Learning had always drawn her interest, and she soaked everything up like a sponge.

By the end of summer, she was ready to start her A'levels. Granted she was on a much higher level than her classmates, but it was still required that she complete the full two years. And just as she had suspected, Jane had completely forgotten about her. Part of her thought that maybe the brunette would contact her one way or another, but nothing happened. On very emotionally taxing days, when she'd felt like she couldn't go on, she had almost called Jane. Almost. But she didn't. She steeled herself and carried on. A she got a little bit stronger with each passing day.

During her two years of A'levels, she spent the summer doing her half day internships at the hospital. All the excitement and work took her mind off Jane and with time she began to recover. And that's when she met Garrett Fairfield. The two hit it off instantly and began dating after a short while. They went strong, till the point when Garrett asked for her hand in marriage. She was only twenty by this time, enjoying university and looking forward to a long and prosperous career path. The last thing she needed was marriage. So when she turned down Garrett's proposal, he left her. To her great relief, it wasn't nearly as painful as when Jane had broken up with her. If anything, it had just slightly bruised her ego. And that was a very simple thing to recover from.

After university, she left for Doctors without borders. She wanted something new, and she was desperate for a sense of purpose.

She found it in Africa.

There she spent long and hot days tending to peoples medical needs, and never before had her life been so fulfilling. Whilst working there she met Ian Faulkner. They began a strange sort of romance that lasted the few years that she worked in Africa. Maura needed to leave, but Ian refused. So with the mutual dissolution of their relationship, Maura decided to take on a job back in Massachusetts as a Medical Examiner. She had seen too much hurt to subject herself to working with the living again. Their agony often haunted her at night, and she felt she just couldn't do it anymore.

Massachusetts wouldn't have been her first choice obviously, but that's where the position came up. And a colleague had informed her that the chief ME of Massachusetts was almost retiring and with Maura's credentials she would easily be in line for that position. The blonde had thought long and hard about the decision. A great part of her just said to leave it alone and go back to England, but the smaller part told herself that she wasn't going to hold off on the good things in life just because of Jane Rizzoli, a girl she had been madly in love with fifteen years ago and who had dumped her with a pathetic excuse. No. She wouldn't hold anything off for Jane. Jane Rizzoli did not own the United States of America. Jane Rizzoli did not own Massachusetts. Jane Rizzoli did not own her. And Massachusetts was huge anyway. Chances of ever seeing Jane again were almost zero.

There was google of course. She could simply type in Jane Rizzoli and learn a little about the whereabouts of the one person who had hurt her so deeply. But she was above that now. The past was the past and she had moved on. She wasn't going to limit herself because of a failed relationship.

What hurts the most - Cascada

If there was one thing Jane could change about her life, it would have been letting go of Maura the way she did. It was the worst possible way of giving someone you loved a bright future. Jane was under the impression that Maura was set to depart the week after her graduation. Focusing her time and energy into her last days of high school, she figured as soon as that was out of the way, she'd figure out a way to make it up to Maura before she left. If she didn't find anything worthy, her last resort would be revealing the truth.

Imagine the surprise when she went to Maura's and found out they had left.

Constance hadn't even informed Angela out of fear that she'd tell Jane and the whole thing would blow over.

Maura had left just four days after her confrontation with Jane. When the brunette made it over to the Isles mansion, it was to find an unfamiliar family moving in. With no way of knowing how to contact Maura, Jane had got the address of Oxford University and written a letter directed to Maura. She had no idea whether it would get to her or not, but she still did.

And she wrote those letters for a whole year, getting no response. She wasn't really expecting one though; they were all just apology letters. Sometimes she thought the people at the university may have opened them and had a good laugh at the stupidity of the whole situation.

Jane then went on to Community College just as she'd intended in the beginning. Emotionally, everything was difficult for the brunette who had so fiercely loved Maura. But she learnt to move on, never forgetting Maura though – it wasn't possible.

The end of community college then took her to the Academy. Her intent focus and determination left her graduating at the top of her class, at the youngest age as well. Her dreams were slowly coming true, and the one thing she wished for every time was that Maura's were too. If the blonde didn't make it, then all the heartache would have been for nothing. Jane never wanted to think of that, it was almost like thoughts of suicide to her.

There had been two men in her life over the years since Maura - Casey Jones and Rafael Martinez. Jane could never bring herself to be with a woman again. Maura was her one and only. Her relationship with Martinez was brief, and whatever she had with Casey was on-again off-again, neither being able to fully commit.

Jane was finally where she dreamed to be, Homicide Detective. It was one hell of a dream come true. And she'd made it together with Frost. After Maura left, she and him had had only one conversation about what really happened with Maura. Frost had called Jane an idiot for letting go of Maura, but with time he came to understand Jane's rationalization. And they never discussed it since. Not to say Frost wasn't witness to how much Jane had suffered through the years. The brunette never said it, but Frost knew that Jane hurt so badly over Maura's departure. The only thing he could do was be there for Jane, if she ever felt like talking about it one day.

She never did.

Massachusetts didn't fail her. True to her colleague's word, the Chief Medical Examiner had retired a year after Maura had been working in the state. And just as predicted, she was indeed offered the job as his replacement. Since coming back into the country, Maura had been residing in Pittsfield (where Ian had come to visit of two occassions), but now had to move two hours from there and back into Boston for the job. This offer led her directly to the Boston Police Department where…

''Detective Rizzoli'', Maura stretched her hand to greet Jane with absolute indifference (at least it appeared so...)

It is so easy to convince yourself that you are over something or someone if they are out of sight. But standing directly in front of Jane in the bullpen, Maura felt like she had been transported seventeen years back.

''Hello'', Jane almost whispered as her hand slipped out of Maura's smaller one. The blonde looked about a thousand times more beautiful than she remembered.

Cavanaugh innocently made introduction between the medical examiner and the people she'd be working closely with. Only Maura, Jane, and Frost where aware of what was simmering underneath the surface.

After giving Jane a once-over, Maura directed her complete attention to Cavanaugh. And once the introductions where complete, she was given a quick tour of the place and before she knew it, she was quietly settled in her uniquely decorated office.

''What are the odds?'', she spoke to herself. Her life was just going on to prove once again how very unfortunate she could be. She had to be placed at the same location that Jane was at. And they had to be working closely together.

Of course there were chances that they would meet, she knew. But how could she have been positive that Jane had in fact made it to Homicide Detective. Out of all the precincts, how could she have known that Jane was located at that particular one.

And boy had Jane looked beautiful. She had watched the brunette so confident in her element, with the same long hair and long bones. She'd only gotten more beautiful with age. And even though Maura was mad beyond mad, she couldn't deny (at least to herself), that she felt an attraction to Jane still.

''So…what are you gonna do?'', Frost inquired as soon as Korsak left his desk for coffee.

Jane breathed in deeply, ''I have no fucking clue''

''Whatever you do partner, I don't wanna be there. The last time left a scar you know'', he tried lightening up the mood for Jane's benefit. ''But after you do whatever you do, I'll be around though. Okay?''

''Thanks Frost''

...

Jane paced in the break room. It was such a surreal experience. When they'd been told about getting a new M.E a name had never been mentioned. She'd been so blindsided by Maura's appearance and now she felt like she needed to do something fast, before Maura went away. But she also knew she had one chance, and if she blew it, that would be it. Obviously seeking any romantic relationship was completely out of the question. So was friendship. If she was lucky, the most she could get from Maura was an amiable professional relationship.

Pacing wasn't helping, she needed to do something. And God knows she needed to see Maura. So bracing herself for the worst, she made her way to the morgue. And just then it hit her, Maura had done well for herself. She was now the Chief ME of the entire state. She felt a burst of pride for the woman she had never stopped loving. It felt strange to think of her as a woman now. Until about an hour ago ago, Jane had carried the image of a sixteen year old freckled girl. Now she was this whole woman in designer clothes and high heels and wavy hair. It was like being transported into the future in a millisecond.

Before she could think of anything more, she was standing in front of Maura's closed door. She was scared, irrational as it was, that if she didn't speak to Maura fast the woman would disappear and she'd have to wait another seventeen years to see her again.

Driven by fear, she knocked lightly.

''Come in'', came Maura's sweet voice.

Jane took a deep breath and let herself in, quickly closing the door behind her, but moving into the room no further.

''Please, just hear me out. Don't chase me out just yet. Please'', Jane begged before Maura got a chance to say anything.

The blonde didn't respond, she just looked up and raised her eyebrows for Jane to continue.

''Today is your first day and I know you have a lot to do; I don't wanna take up too much of your time. And I know this isn't the right place to be dealing with personal affairs. I also know I have no right to ask anything of you, but I will try anyway. Please, all I want is a chance to explain myself. Whenever you are free, or ready, or you know…please, just tell. I'll be there, wherever you want to meet and talk. I just ask for one chance for you to hear me out''

Jane took another deep breath from her hurried speech. Maura appeared to be thinking very hard about Jane's request.

''I owe you an explanation for what I did. I want to meet with you, so I can explain myself. I am not asking for forgiveness, or even understanding. I just want to tell you, so that you know why…''

''Okay'', Maura said simply.

''Okay?''. Jane looked confused. Clearly she'd been expecting a bit of a battle.

''I said it's okay Jane. When I have the time, I will let you know''

It sounded very dismissive, and Jane was unclear as to what procedure to follow. Did she say good-bye then leave? How would Maura contact her anyway? Do they exchange phone numbers? Does she at least get to tell Maura that she missed her? It was all very confusing.

''Maura…'', she begged.

And Maura knew what she was asking. Even after all those years, she knew Jane's plea for help for which directions to follow.

''Jane'', Maura said patiently, with an outside bravado that she didn't possess internally. ''you do owe me an explanation. I haven't learnt to lie over the years, so I will not pretend that I am not interested in hearing what you have to say for yourself. Just don't come to me with any expectations, because I can assure you, you will be disappointed. Evidently I'll be seeing you on a daily basis, so when I do get the chance, I'll inform you. I trust that you will be readily available, as you have so nicely stressed''

''Yes I will'', Jane said eagerly.

''Alright then, have a nice day''. With that, Maura picked up her pen and got back to the documents on her table.

Jane slowly let herself out, disappointed that she hadn't got to say much, and glad that Maura had at least given her an opportunity to say what she never told her.

Ouch…?