Starting Over Chapter 5, a twilight fanfic

Author's Note:

Hey guys sorry I haven't updated lately. I know you all must hate me, but please don't! I have a good excuse. It was freaking Writers Block! So without further adieu here is chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS! NOR DO I OWN THIS SONG!

Chapter 5

Bella POV

Sleep. Sleep is an amazing thing. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept through the night completely without waking up to that nightmare. Yes even when I had gone to Cali I still had that nightmare, every night. Honestly it was torture, so when I awoke in the early hours of the morning, like I had been doing while in Cali, without a nightmare to wake me I felt relieved and refreshed. I rolled over and looked at the clock that read 5:00 AM I smiled and then got out of bed.

I walked to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of black and emerald green Nike shorts, a matching sports bra and socks and my running shoes. I dressed quickly taking off my parents' clothes, folding them neatly and laying them at the end of my bed. I dug through my backpack and pulled out my iPod along with the headphones that were tucked neatly into its running arm band, which I strapped on my arm with ease.

I almost felt excited that I was going to go run. Today I would run 5-10 miles, or just run until I was relaxed. I walked down the stairs to the front door, unlocking the dead bolt and stepping outside closing the door behind me. Taking a deep breath I jogged down the stairs and did a few stretches to loosen up my muscles.

After stretching my legs I started running in a familiar direction towards the high school. It was a good mile and a half from my house, thinking this will be a good warm up. I hadn't been to the high school in a year and it was weird going back, but I wouldn't be staying long so it didn't bother me.

As I fell into a good pace that matched the music I felt happy. Running made me feel like I was running from my problems, running from the world. When I ran I thought of nothing but the rhythm that my feet made as they hit the road. Running made me feel like a completely different person. You wouldn't know this but I am one clumsy girl, but when I ran that clumsy-ness faded away. It was left behind just like everything else in the world.

I slowed as I got to the school. Now where to go? I turned left down the street and started back at my original pace. I had no idea where I was going I just ran. That's all I did until I ended up in the front lawn of the one place I didn't want to be. The Cullen house, it was a beautiful as ever. I had seen there home many times before and every time it still amazed me.

This home, well I would call it a mansion, is a large, graceful house, rectangular and well-proportioned, painted a faded white. My favorite part of the house was the southern wall which was almost entirely made of glass, with a view of the Calawah river and the beautiful garden green house in the back that Esme took a wonderful care of, full of several sections of a rose garden, all different colors along with several different kinds of flowers; the wall was also equipped with a steel shutter to protect the Cullen's from an attack, which had never actually been used.

My mind flashed back to the day that I had first visited this home. (A/N: Pictures on my profile of the Cullen Mansion)

When I first saw it I couldn't believe what I saw, it was three stories tall, with a deep porch that wrapped around the front of the house and painted white. As we walked inside I noticed that the first story was open and bright, with few internal walls, a wide central staircase to the left and a raised area with a grand piano in the center that my Edward and I had spent many days after school sitting around as I listened to him play his compositions and watch his graceful fingers glide over the keys with ease. To the right of the platform was a rarely used dining room and kitchen.

Behind the stairs was the office of C.E.E. Inc., the Cullen's' personal company, where they managed all of their business dealings. As we moved on to the second floor, I was told that Rosalie and Emmett's room was at the top of the staircase. As we moved around clock-wise I saw Jasper's study, as well as Alice and Jasper's room, which had an attached closet larger than the room itself. I soon knew that all too well considering every time there was something special going on I was shoved in this closet to play Bella Barbie. Carlisle's office was next, with two small but still rather large areas inside for Esme's study and Carlisle's personal library. The next flight of stairs took us to the third floor, where Carlisle and Esme's room was at the top of the staircase; with Edward's room facing south. The remainder of the third floor was called the library and was used for any technically illegal activity, such as forging birth certificates and hacking into computer systems in order to maintain the various identities needed to live unnoticed in human society. Considering they were vampires.

Stuck in my flashback I hadn't noticed that my favorite had walked out of the house and that I had stopped running; before I could turn around and run off the property the little pixie had her arms around me. I took my headphones out of my ear, "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly not saying my name because we both knew every vampire in that house was listening. "After what happened last night, I'm surprised you came. He is here, and he's a wreck"

"Alice, I just ended up here. I went for a run this morning." I said motioning to what I was wearing. "I honestly didn't know I would end up here I was just about to leave. I'm sorry" I said pulling away from her arms and turning to go.

"N-No don't go!" she said louder than she meant to. I turned back as she said "Please, I don't want my best friend to go." She smiled grimly

"Alice I have to. I can't stay here. Not with him here. I'm sure you heard what happened. I screwed up and I'm starting to rethink everything I said last night. I don't know why the hell I didn't just take him back." I started crying "Dammit, I gotta go. How about you come over later or something" I said wiping my tears, and sprinting away.

"But Be-!" I heard her shout. I kept sprinting for about five minutes. I looked behind me, I knew she hadn't followed and so I slowed down to my original pace stuck my headphones in my ears and turned on Scars by Allison Iraheta. This song fit my personality right now.

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake
Do I bore you with my problems?
Is that why you turn away?
Do you know how hard I've tried
To become what you want me to be

Take me, this is all that I've got
This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be
I've got flaws, I've got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn't matter who you are
We all have our scars, we all have our scars

You say don't act like a child
But what if it's a father I need?
It's not like you don't know
What you got yourself into
Don't tell me I'm the one who's naïve
Do you know how hard I've tried
To become what you want me to be

Come on, just let it go
These are things you can't control
Your expectations, your explanations
Don't make sense to me
You and your alternatives
Don't send me to your therapist
Deep down I know what you mean
And I'm not sure that's what I wanna be
Oh oh, oh oh oh, no oh

Did I say something stupid?
There goes one more mistake

The song ended right as I got to my front lawn. I went inside to take a shower. Hopefully Alice will come by later like I had asked.

A/N: How did you guys like it? let me know I'll be working on the next chapter! Reviews please!