Chapter 22 - Killed with Kindness

"What do you mean you've been killed by kindness?" Lee asked as he slowly approached Rachael.

"It's ironic," Rachael chuckled.

"What is?"

"You could say Roger sort of killed Melanie with kindness too. By pitying her, by marrying her. Just for a baby."

Lee moved closer to Rachael, backing up next to her along the wall and sliding down to a sit. "What do you mean that you were killed by kindness, Red?"

Rachael's eyes looked glazed. "I didn't even tell Roger. It's dark."

"I've been through some dark stuff, Red. I don't know if I can help, but I can at least listen."

"Was anybody ever so kind to you that they ending up hurting you more than people who you expected to hurt you?"

"No."

"You know what happened to me? Roger told you everything?"

"I think so."

"He doesn't know about Ahmed."

"Who was Ahmed?"

"He was the kind one. The one who tended my wounds. Fed me antibiotics provided by my unit. Brought me decent food. Helped me bathe. What he wouldn't do was help me escape."

"Why not?"

"He wanted the same thing the others wanted. For me to replace the wives and children the Iraqis killed because we were there. He just wasn't so concerned with punishing me for it like the others. So when Ahmed came through the door, I was always relieved to see it was him even if I knew he would fuck me. He was kind and gentle. He said sweet things. He even apologized. He treated me as kindly as could be imagined under the circumstances. I guess you could say he was the nice rapist."

"Stockholm syndrome?"

"No, Ahmed didn't have the intellect to play that game and I had too many other miserable visitors for it to matter."

"Then what happened?"

"I'd been there nearly three months, relieved as always when I saw it was Ahmed who had come through the door. Just like always, he was kind and sweet. He did what he was supposed to do without unnecessary roughness, with tenderness even. Then he withdrew and saw blood all over his cock. I'd begun menstruating. Ahmed went into a rage. I'd been unclean with him. He railed about how I'd repaid his kindness by defiling him and not getting pregnant. Then he beat me worse than any of them had before. That's when I broke, Lee. When the last hope died. He came back nearly every day after that to continue what he'd started. My sole solace turned into my worst nightmare."

"I'm so sorry, Red. I can't imagine."

"No, you can't. I just wanted to die. How can we want so badly to die and our bodies betray us?"

"Maybe because second chances are still possible?"

"Yeah, some second chance. I'm certified cuckoo now. Can't have a baby either. Guess that's for the best considering."

"You've still got friends."

Rachael exploded into Lee, pinning him down on the mattress. She pressed her right forearm into Lee's jugular. "Friends turn on you. Haven't you been listening?"

Lee stayed beneath her, remaining placid, drawing in shallow breaths, waiting her out. They stared at each other, neither moving. Lee didn't feel afraid of her after a few seconds. Instead, he felt the same electricity he'd felt the last time they were in this position. Rachael soon dropped her arm from his neck. Lee reached his arm around her neck and kissed her. "Some things are worth sticking around for, Red."

Rachael skittered up and away from Lee, turning toward the wall and then slumping down in a heap along it. "Get the hell out of here, Crane. Don't come back!"

"Oh, I'll be back, Red. We have unfinished business."

Lee dropped his hand to retrieve the noose off the floor and knocked at the door until he was permitted to leave. Outside, he leaned against the glass staring at Rachael wondering what the hell had just happened.