CHAPTER 02

She grumbled and swore as soon as she heard her mom pounding on the locked front door and rolling her eyes, she got up and stumbled down the hall, yanked the door open and scowled, stepping out of the door frame, helping her mom in. "Whoa.. Let's get you laying down, okay? Do not throw up, Mother or I swear to God.." Carlie said sternly as she helped her mother to the couch in the den, let her get comfortable, turned on the television for her. The light snores she heard a few minutes later confirmed that once again, her mother had passed out in a drunken stupor.

Now the fun part began, Carlie sitting up, straining to hear, making sure her mom didn't choke on her own vomit or something during the night. And listening to her mother's relentless remarks when and if she had to wake her, to get her to a remarks usually just rolled right off, Carlie at least tried to pretend that her mother might not mean them, that her own damn mother didn't think she'd been a mistake, that lives would be simpler if she hadn't had her, right? Because your mother's supposed to love you all the time and not just some of the time, Carlie figured that maybe it was the anger and guilt her mom felt about surviving the accident that'd killed her father. Or living through the nightmare of burying what would've been Carlie's younger brother, Eli. That had actually been when the drinking and the fighting reached a volatile fever pitch with her parents.

Carlie ducked out onto the screened in back porch and sat down on the steps heaving a heavy sigh as she glared up at the moonlit sky and tried to figure out just how much was too much.. When was she able to distance herself from the train wreck her mom had always been and was becoming worse of, and just say 'Can't do it anymore, sorry?'.. Her father hadn't found that point and naturally, he'd wound up dying as an indirect result.

'Two more years, Car.. Then you can go on to UCLA or somewhere far away from her and not look back, just limit your exposure to the train wreck that your mother is becoming by writing or making calls and maybe a visit or two.. If you make it through these next two years, Car, you're good. You can honestly say that you've lived through literal hell on Earth.' her conscience chimed in dutifully as the more dark part of it insisted 'Fuck sticking around. If your dad hadn't, if he'd taken you and shagged ass, he'd be alive right now. Why are you helping this woman? She obviously hates you. The only person who did give a damn about you is 6 feet under now. And your little brother's dead too. Make your life easier and just pack up, leave quietly in the middle of the night. Teenagers run away all the time, Car.'

Something told her that if her father were able and alive, he'd tell her that he did move the two of them here for a reason. That somehow he'd seen this great tragedy heading their way and he'd taken s teps to make sure Carlie was going to be alright if things got as bad as he feared. But she didn't believe in anything such as ESP or things of that nature.

Her mother coughed and her stomach lurched. She strained to hear, make sure her mother wasn't about to puke all over herself and drown or choke in it during her sleep. A few moments later a low snore echoed through the house and out the open door. She eased a little and leaned back against the porch post, shoulders sagging. After a little digging, she found her own vice shoved into her pockets and taking out the pack of cigarettes, she smacked them once, twice and then a third time against the palm of her hand, tearing the wrapping off of the top of the pack with her teeth.

She lit a cigarette and exhaled deeply as she looked up and thought aloud "What? Look, it's a damn miracle I'm not on pot or something as much attention as that woman actually pays me. She'd never know if I were doing something that might endanger myself because she's too fucking busy endangering her own damn life."

A male voice spoke up and the man from earlier, her father's half brother Sam asked calmly, "Talk to yourself like this often?"

"Only when I'm trying to convince myself that this isn't totally fucking abnormal, that anyone in my shoes would stick around and not just leave her to die in her sleep one night, Sam. Only when I'm trying to figure out how the hell I lost the one parent who gave a damn. Listen at gates often, sir?" in a slightly dull and bitter tone. Sam sighed and walked over, sat down on the stoop beside his half brother's teenage daughter, looking at his hands a moment.

"Your father.. He wrote me.. Said that if anything happened to him, he wanted me to sort of watch over you." Sam admitted as Carlie shrugged and said quietly, "No need, sir, I've got this. I've been playing mommy and nursemaid to her for so long now, I just.. It's like a reflex almost. I hate it, but I can't just not do it. I love her, she's my mom and this shit hurts."

It wasn't easy admitting that out loud. It really wasn't easy admitting it to a virtual stranger, either. She blew out a plume of smoke and Sam said calmly, "Those things are bad for you."

"Look.. I'm gonna do me, you do you, okay, sir?" Carlie said calmly as she stubbed out the cigarette, went to stand and then said quietly, "When my dad wrote you.. like, what'd he say?"

Sam nodded and said quietly, "If you want to know, come over tomorrow. I've got the few letters and I'll gladly let you read them. I came over to ask if you were okay? I heard your mother when she came home. Emily and I were concerned."

Carlie laughed a little and said bitterly, "Relax.. It's not like she cares enough to beat me." before saying in a softer and slightly stiffer tone, "Thanks.. I might come by tomorrow. If it's okay, I mean.." before walking back indoors. Her mother was still sleeping soundly on the couch and she sat in the quiet house, mostly just thinking about everything she'd been through so far.

She sighed and looked at the time. It was 1 am. If she didn't sleep now, she'd never get any sleep. Still, she didn't want to just leave her mom in the shape she was in currently, what if something happened to her too?

She grumbled and swore, punched the countertop lightly as she said to herself "She's fine. She's not lying on her stomach, she'll sit up if it happens. She is an adult. And you do need sleep." as she made herself leave the den and walk down the hall to her own room, flopping across the bed backwards. Outside her window, a lone wolf's howl echoed through the night, making her smile to herself for some odd reason.