The future Meats The Past

~ Renfield

2008

"Renfield!" The Count called out to his breather servant in fury. The Dracula's were sat around the dinner table a time when Count Dracula could enjoy his delicious bottle of blood but tonight was not the case.

Renfield ran up to his master with a bowl which was probably filled with mashed up eye balls. "Yes Master?" The servant said polity as he could. He was stupid but not that stupid, he knew that whenever his master used that tone with him it meant he was in trouble.

The Count shot Renfield with his death glare took the bowl of masked eye balls off Renfield and threw it at his face before grabbing Renfield's collar and pulled him down the goblet of not-so-filled-with-blood.

"What is this?" The Count gestured to the goblet.

"Blood master?"

"Don't lie" The Count hissed bearing his fangs "What is it?"

"Watered down tomato sauce master" Renfield tried.

"YOU IDOIT!" The Count bellowed as he threw his servant across the room with a crash "It's bad enough people are pretending to be me and now I can't seem to get any fresh blood anywhere and I'm stuck with tomatoes!"

"Well it makes a change from tomato soup," said Renfield as his picked himself off the floor. The Count took the goblet ready to throw it at his servant but then…

"Dad" Thanks Vlad for coming to the rescue "Maybe you've punished Renfield enough today."

"Oh my son and heir you have a lot to learn." Then the Count gave a big loud devastated cry and bashed his head on the table and didn't say another word. With that Renfield went off….

"Oh master is really mad at me" Renfield muttered to himself. He hid himself in the blood mirror room where people are less likely to find him. "I knew I should have kidnapped that postman when I had the chance, now the Count will never make me immortal!"

"Hahaha" A cruel laughter filled the room. Renfield jumped and looked around the empty room but there was no one in sight

"W w who's there?"Renfiled stuttered pressing his back against the wall "Master?" he called. Maybe this was his punishment. Just then the blood mirror glowed a bright blue, Renfield couldn't take his eyes off it. He felt like a moth being drawn to a flame. He stood up on shaky legs and moved towards the light.

It was so beautiful, pure and bright soooo ugly in Renfield's opinion but he found himself moving towards it and that a few seconds later the mirror room was nothing but full of spiders and old cobwebs.

2013

Count Dracula looked upon his breather servant in disgust and embarrassment but he couldn't say he was surprised. Sir Albus Augustinus Antonius, the highest of the High Vampire council had come for business with the one and only Vladimir Dracula, the chosen One and Grand High Vampire. But instead he was welcomed by the most ugliest, stinky and the most stupid breather he had ever encountered not worth the trouble of getting his fangs into.

Renfield had 'borrowed' Ingrid's old school uniform and was now doing a Britney Spears impression to the song in the background 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' which was surprisingly quite accurate considering that I'm not a Britney Spears fan.

"Where is the Chosen One?" Sir Albus asked the Count impatiently "I'm a very busy man and I have no time to watch this breather make a fool out of himself."

"He'll be here," The Count instead but he didn't quite believe in it himself. "Renfield!" the Count snapped his figures and the CD player switched off. "Go and find Vlad and please get changed, you looked more hideous than usual!"

"Yes master," Renfield did a slight curtsey and the Count pulled a face in disgust

"GET TO IT!" and Renfield strutted of to search for young master Vladimir.

Once out the room Renfield started to do his famous Count impressions (Which were just as good as his Brittney Spears impressions)

"Renfield go and find Vlad, Renfield you look hideous nag nag nag…"

"To be more accurate Renfield he said 'you look more hideous than usual." Renfield gave a frightened squeak then looked behind him to see the house mutt/boy Wolfie. The little boy gave his widest grin and Renfield played the role of the grouchy house keeper.

"What do you want you little mutt? go on scram!" But Wolfie didn't move instead he gave Renfield his ultimate attack, his SUPPER CUTE PUPPY EYE'S ATTACK! But unfortunately…

"I've seen it before," Renfield sighed "what do you want a dog biscuit, a squeaky toy, walkies?"

"I know where Vlad is"

"Where?"

"Dog biscuit first."

Renfield sighed, reaching into his blouse he produced Wolfe's special dog biscuit and threw it at Wolfie.

"Ok, now tell me where he is."

"I saw him leave for the mirror room a few minutes ago," said Wolfie as munched on his dog treat with crumbs all over his mouth.

"Thanks boy," giving Wolfie a pat on the head and ran (or should I say staggered erratically on his high heels), straight for the mirror room.

Once at the mirror room Renfield called out "Master Vlad!" No answer. He moved more into the room and called again,

"Master Vlad where are, this is not the time to play hide and seek." Even though Vlad was now eighteen now and far too old for hide and seek.

Renfield, too busy calling out to someone who obviously was there, didn't notice little Wolfie quietly come up to the mirror room with a bunch of keys in his hand. He pulled the old wooden door shut with a SLAM! Renfield turned around just to hear the jangle of a key being turned. Renfield pulled on the door knob as hard as he could but the door wouldn't budge.

"Wolfie!" He called out "Master Vlad! Somebody!" But the only the two stone monsters guarding the Blood mirror could hear him and like they would be any help…

"Oh no, oh no, oh no" Renfield mumbling to himself "Ok Renfield you and do this, you have been in these situations before, even though the Count always punishes me afterwards."

Renfield stopped and checked out his refection in the mirror admiring how well Ingrid's old school uniform fitted him. Even though his stomach came out a bit, the tight skirt made it hard for him to walk and the high heels didn't make it any easier. But yeah he looked good (Whatever).

And clearly the stone devil monsters agreed with me, while Renfield checked himself out (Which I'm not going to describe because the total idea is horrendous) the stone guards rolled their eyes and while Renfield was showing of his legs and stone monsters chucked him in the mirror before he did something more disgusting ewww….

Renfield stumbled in to a large room, falling over on the floorboards and twisting his ankle, he cried out in pain "Damn you high heels!" He looked around of gothic like room hoping to find someone who would help but he was alone for now anyway…

He leant his head back against the floor which was not the dirty smelly floor that he was used to back with the Dracula's, he missed it already. If only some kind strong person will help him up. Suddenly he heard something on the other side of the room but couldn't see because the couch was in the way.

"Who's there?" Trying to sound brave, "I warn you I am Renfield the superior and if you come any closer I… He stopped as he saw the man who was standing there. He wore clothes like he hadn't changed in years, his skin was a greasy orange and the boils that covered his face made Renfield think 'I have never seen such a handsome man before'.

"Are you ok madam?" asked the younger Renfield, for he had never seen such a beautiful women before (Author Note- Don't asked me what the younger Renfield saw in this 'women' describing him was more than I could take LOL) and when Renfield saw a 'beautiful girl' particularly one in trouble, it was time to use his Renfield charm. "Would you like me to help you up madam?" The older Renfield didn't know what to think about being called madam but he sure liked being fussed over.

"Thank you sir" putting on his high pitched women's voice. Taking the older Renfield's outstretched hand. It was obvious that they didn't recognise each other. "And who may my saviour be?" (Oh please)

The younger Renfield's mind was ecstatic, someone thought he was a saviour, even though he was covered in mushed eyeballs. "Oh it's sir Renfield"

He older Renfield gasped "Really because that's my name too!"

"Really, then it just proves we were meant to be" And like that they were in love. Now if I were the guards of this mirror I would off cut it right there but no they were finding this extremely amusing. The lovers sat on couch drinking a bottle of ant juice, talking about where to find the best maggots, which rat tails taste like sweets and other disgusting stuff. But then the gong sounded.

"I don't want to leave you!" The younger Renfield cried pathetically, clinging on to the older Renfield's leg "I have never met a women who likes ant juice and knows as much about rat tails as I do!"

"I'm sorry but this has to be!" the older Renfield cried out, all too dramatically.

"No it doesn't I will never leave you!" But it was not to be, the two devil monsters dragged them away from each other. It would of being sad and romantic if it weren't for the Renfield's being over dramatic.

Five minutes later both Renfield's lay on the floor in their own time line sobbing their hearts out they didn't stop until the Count stuffed Renfield's mouth with a handful of rat's tails.

I would like to give a special thanks to my best friend Declan who gave the idea for the Renfield chapter. I think this chapter is a lot shorter than my others and it was probably the hardest to write if it was not for Declan I don't know what I would of wrote. I have also had a bad week so that doesn't make it any better.

Please keep reviewing you guys are great!

Next chapter is Magda