Disclaimer: See my profile

Warnings: See my profile and the first chapter

Hotch unlocked the door to his office and flipped on the light. His briefcase went on the desk and his coat took its place on the rack next to the door. He looked at the coffee cup on his desk and mentally debated whether or not to get a cup. It was six-thirty in the morning, but he hadn't slept well at all the night before because Haley was once again making it difficult for him to see Jack.

Why couldn't she let go of her anger and resentment toward him?

He could profile the worst of the dregs of society, but he couldn't figure out his ex-wife. He knew that Dave would say that he was too close to the situation, but was Dave Rossi the one to listen too when it came to relationships?

If you had just tired harder to make it work!

No! He refused to let his mind go in that direction. I am who I am… I have to be here and do this job because it's what I have to do.

He sat down and ignored the call of the coffee pot. The stack of paperwork on his desk was more than enough to get him though without thinking of how he messed up his life and his son's life. In a couple of hours Agent Todd would be in and they would get their next assignment.

The office and the bullpen were quiet for half an hour while he worked with all his concentration on finishing reports for filing. The whisper of paper and the scratch of his pen seemed loud in the stillness, but at the same time it was soothing in its familiarity. The light in the office reflected off the windows and made it impossible to see out into the darkness that was beginning to relinquish its hold on Quantico.

When the knock came at his door at a little past seven in the morning, he was startled. No one ever came in this early but Agent Todd and she never bothered him before nine. Something must be very wrong if she were knocking at the door this early.

"Come in!"

The door opened and he looked up to find Prentiss and Reid edging into the room. They both looked like they'd been caught with their hands in the cookie jar and his antenna immediately went up.

"Sit down," He ordered because this was going to be a headache. He could just see it in both of their eyes.

"What can I do for you?" He asked while shifting the file he'd been working on to one side of his green blotter.

"We wanted to talk to you before the rest of the team came into the office." Emily said. "I've, or rather we've, decided to do something that you may not like or accept."

"It's not a good idea to come in here and tell me I'm not going to like something."

Are they going to tell me that they've started sleeping together?

He kept his eyes on both of them as they looked at each other. The body language between the two of them intrigued him. Reid was the easiest to read. Hotch had noticed since the hostage situation, that Reid was developing a strong bond with Emily. It was more than good friends. Now it was clear that his young agent had been hiding his true feelings for her.

Emily, on the other hand, was much better at keeping her true feelings under wraps. But, he'd seen it in her face during that fiasco in Colorado. The burning question was - did she realize that she had strong feelings for Reid? He hoped this wasn't going to turn into a huge problem that would end up with him having to transfer one of his best people.

Emily pulled his attention back to her by telling him that she and Reid had recently seen a fertility specialist together. Of all the things he'd expected to hear, that was so far down the list as to be negligible. Maybe his hearing was going. He kept the shock out of his voice when he responded.

"Emily… I know you've felt lately that you want to have a child. I'm concerned that you haven't thought this through."

"I have thought about, for more than a year. I've considered every pro and con possible. I decided that Reid was the best candidate to help me. He and I have talked about and we are agreed. We've seen the doctor and Reid submitted a sperm sample for testing."

"Reid… Are you sure this is something you want to do."

"Yes, I've considered all of the variables and the facts." He was squeaking and not looking at Emily who had her eyes on the wall over Hotch's head.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do Reid."

"Are you trying to say that I'm coercing him or manipulating him?" Emily's voice had begun to rise and she stood up to pace the office. "I would never do that to him Hotch. You know me better than that!"

"I know you wouldn't hurt him on purpose."

"I'm in the room." Reid protested. "I know what I'm doing Hotch. The test results came back and I am a viable donor for her. We're going to do this!"

The finality in Reid's voice and the way he stood up and stepped closer to Emily, as though he wanted to take her hand, made Hotch's stomach clench.

"Reid's right… This is personal for us and has nothing to do with the job. You don't have any say over what we decide to do."

Her eyes were blazing and Reid was looking at her like a supplicant worshiping a goddess. This was going to backfire, he could feel it, but there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"It's my body Hotch…" Emily was saying.

"I know Emily. I can't forbid this, but I can tell you that if I think you need to stay out of the field or not fly, you will do as I say."

"Yes sir."

"When is this procedure taking place?"

"Reid has to go back in three more times over the next three weeks. That's one of the reasons we wanted to tell you."

"You want me to head off questions from the team."

"Yes sir…" Reid said and his face had gone crimson again.

"Alright, if the others get suspicious, I'll make sure they back off."

"Thanks Hotch," Reid said.

"Don't thank me until this is over."

"If everything goes well, we're going to try after the first of the year." Emily told him.

"I trust that from now on, you'll keep me in the loop."

"Yes sir." They said together.

They both stood. Hotch, following a feeling he couldn't describe, called to Reid. "Could you stay here for a minute?"

He watched the young man look at Emily and he saw her shrug. Emily left the room and Reid went back to the chair he'd been occupying since entering the room.

"Reid… I know you feel like you have to do this for Emily, but you don't. If you don't want to be her donor, you can say no. I don't want you to feel as though you're being forced or manipulated into donating for her."

Reid looked confused for a minute then he said. "I'm not being forced to do anything Hotch."

"I just want you to understand what you're agreeing too."

"I know what I'm agreeing too Hotch. I'm not a child." Reid stood up, "If you'll excuse me…"

"Sit down Reid."

"Hotch!"

"Spencer! Please sit down."

The use of his first name had him sitting down very slowly in the chair.

"I'm sorry Reid. I didn't mean to imply that you hadn't thought this through or hadn't considered all the options. I know you've done your homework on the procedure and you probably know the ins and outs better than the doctor. But do you know the emotional price you could be paying."

"I've thought about it Hotch… I know what I'm doing. I want Emily to be happy. She's my friend and this is what she wants."

"What about you? Have you thought about how this is going to affect your life?"

"We discussed it. When we successfully conceive, I'm taking a step back and letting Emily raise the baby."

Hotch was taken aback by this statement. Of all the people to step away from fatherhood, Reid was the least likely person.

"Reid… Have you thought about your father and how it will feel working with Emily and seeing your child grow up without knowing that its father is right there? My God Spencer, your father was minutes away for years and I think you need to remember what finding that out felt like."

"It won't be like that Hotch. I'll still be in the baby's life. He or she will have the best uncle in the world."

"Reid…"

"I know what I'm doing Hotch. This will make Emily happy and if she's happy then I'm happy."

Aaron Hotchner looked straight into two hazel eyes that were the windows to the purest soul he knew and he trembled. This young man had no idea what he was getting into and there was nothing that Hotch could do but let him find out on his own that he was about to make a terrible mistake.

"May I go now Hotch?"

"Yes."

Reid went to the door and Hotch said. "If you need anything, come see me. I really do care about you."

"I know Hotch."

Then he was gone and Hotch put his hand to the bridge of his nose. The two of them loved each other. What would it take to make them see it and end this charade?

---

"Thanks for going in there with me." Emily said as they went to the break room.

"You're welcome."

"You want some coffee." He just looked at her and she laughed. "Of course you do… What was I thinking?"

"So are you taking Clomid or Gonadotropin to stimulate egg production?"

Emily slanted her eyes over to Reid. "How did you… Right, you read a lot. I guess I should be happy that you're prepared."

They had reached their desks and the stacks of files that never seemed to go away. Reid put his cup of coffee and the messenger bag he'd carried into Hotch's office next to his desk.

"Yeah… I just wanted to know everything that was involved, especially since I didn't do my research before our last visit to the doctor."

"I'm taking Clomid."

"Oh, that's the better choice since the side effects seem to be mild. You should watch out for -"

"Heads up…" She hissed looking at the elevator. "Morgan decided to come in early."

Reid went crimson and Emily sighed. If they got through this without revealing everything to everyone, it would be a miracle.

---

Reid entered the bullpen three weeks later after his last appointment with the clinic. Stacey had continued to try and get his attention despite his ignoring her. She had been looking at him like he was lunch when Mai had taken him back to the examination room.

"I see Stacey has a crush on you." His face had gone red and he'd begun to cough and splutter. Mai laughed, "Don't worry Dr. Reid. I'll set her straight. I know you have feelings for Emily."

"But how -"

"I see couples all the time here. I can tell who loves who in any relationship."

"If it's that obvious to you, then everyone else is going to see it too."

"Don't look so glum Dr. Reid. I think any woman that wants to have a baby, would be very happy with a guy that has a twenty-two million sperm count. Not to mention the high motility of the little swimmers. You should advertise." She teased.

"Advertise…" He had squeaked. "But I can't -"

"Hey Reid…" Morgan's voice cut through the memory of his last visit to the clinic like a whip cracking through the air. His tone stung.

"Hello Morgan."

"You're a million miles away. What are you thinking about?"

Emily was at her desk and he made a concerted effort not to look at her when he sat down at his desk. "I wasn't thinking about anything in particular."

"So how was the visit to the doctor?"

"Yeah sweet thing… We're all worried about you."

Jordan and Garcia were standing there looking at him with Morgan. What was he going to say and where was Hotch when he needed him? Rossi came into the bullpen at that moment and he looked curious as well.

"I went to donate sperm." He blurted out the truth and saw Emily jerk out of the corner of his eye.

"You suddenly decided to become a sperm donor." Morgan said.

Jordan and Garcia were gaping at him, while Rossi held back a smirk.

"Yeah, why shouldn't I. Did you know that the demand for sperm from a genius is ten times higher than any other factor including race, or health? There is a clinic in New York City that has the highest percentage of donations made by certified geniuses. And you get paid for it."

He'd deliberately gone into lecture mode to try and throw them off the scent. Morgan was looking at him like he'd lost his mind and then his eyes began to twinkle.

"Come on man… I know that's not what you were doing."

"We just want to know if you're okay." Garcia said, elbowing Morgan in the gut.

"Alright, everyone leave Reid alone and get back to work."

"But shouldn't we -"

"I said to back off. Reid is fine. Let it go!"

Morgan glared at Hotch's retreating back. Garcia and Jordan left the bullpen and Rossi followed Hotch. Reid grabbed a file off his stack and began to work as though his life depended on it. He didn't look up at Emily until an hour had passed.

He was dismayed to see her staring at him with a look that promised violence. He shook his head and pleaded silently for her to understand.

"You and I are going to have a talk." She whispered.

Great! Now he was in trouble with Emily. All things considered - he rather be dealing with Morgan!