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Warning: see my profile and the first chapter

Thursdays were his least favorite day of the week. Thursday was like the ultimate tease. It was the promise of Friday, but not quite. Sometimes, he didn't notice what day it was if they had a case that was gobbling up all their attention. But on a day like today, when all he had to keep him busy were some case files on his desk, he noticed the day, the hour, the minute, and the second.

"Hey Spence!"

JJ entered the bullpen. Four weeks had passed since Emily had got the news that she was pregnant. Every time someone tried to get his attention, he felt like he'd been caught doing something naughty. It was like he'd become a kid or something. That exact feeling was making a pit in his stomach at the sound of JJ's voice.

He looked up and saw her coming toward him with a file in one hand and a photo album in the other hand.

"I have new pictures for the godfather."

She put the file on top of his pile and opened the book. "You missed out when I brought these in a couple of weeks ago."

The last thing he wanted to do was look at pictures, but JJ would know that something was bothering him if he didn't fake it and pretend to be happy.

JJ was showing him a picture of Henry in a tiny leather jacket that Garcia had got for him. He had to admit that the baby was pretty cute.

"See… He's adorable when he's been awake for awhile."

"Yeah. He looks fine."

"And look at this one. There's Will and Henry playing with the tiny little basketball Will got for him on his one month birthday."

Did a father have to get babies gifts every month that they age? No one told him about that.

He looked at the picture and noticed that Will looked really happy with the baby. Reid knew that being a dad was a big responsibility and that it wasn't all roses and rainbows, but if Will could do it, then he could do it.

JJ flipped to the next page of the album. Reid nodded, and smiled, and made the appropriate noises of how cute Henry was for the next fifteen minutes. He couldn't deny that the child was a beautiful little guy and seeing him in JJ's arms during a family party made him wonder what the baby that Emily was carrying was going to look like.

Remember what it felt like to hold Henry right after he was born?

The only person in his life that had given him any real affection was his mother. And that had been much hit and misses depending on whether she was taking her meds. The last person that had hugged him was Emily. But she didn't want him to be part of the process now. Did that mean there was something about him that she didn't want to expose her child to?

"Hey Spence…"

He jerked out of his thoughts and looked down at JJ who was staring up at him with a probing expression he recognized. She was much more perceptive than most of the team realized. If anyone could see through the shield he was trying to hide behind in order to keep his secret with Emily it was JJ.

Would it be so bad to confide in someone?

Yes… You made a promise to Emily. You can't break it!

"Spence!"

"Sorry JJ, I was thinking about a case."

"Sure you were… I know what you look like when you've got a difficult case on your mind and that's not the expression I'm used to."

Morgan was hunched over his desk and didn't appear to be paying attention to him. Emily was gone. She told him that she had her first ultrasound that day. Reid had wanted to go with her, but he was trying to keep his promise even if it meant missing out of something he really wanted to see.

He looked back at JJ and she was still looking at him. "I can't talk about it JJ."

"Are you sure?"

She was concerned and it showed, but he couldn't let that concern push him into blurting out something, especially with Morgan around. It would be hard enough when Emily decided to tell the team that she was pregnant.

"Yeah… I'm sure."

"Okay. So when are you going to come over to dinner. Will and I really want you to spend more time with Henry."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

He sat back down in his chair and JJ perched on the edge of her desk. "Why - because Henry was a little grumpy the last time you saw him?"

"Well yeah, he doesn't like me."

"That's not true! He loves you. You just caught him at a bad time."

"Alright, I'll think about coming to dinner."

JJ lit up like Christmas lights, and he couldn't help but smile at her

"Good. I'm going to make it my personal mission to come over for dinner. You and Henry are going to be best friends."

"Alright…" But he wasn't so sure about that.

---

Emily opened the door to her brownstone and flipped on the lights. It had been one of the longest days of her life, but also one of the best. She put her coat in the closet and left her purse, badge and gun on the table in the entryway.

She went to the kitchen for some tea. A perusal of her kitchen didn't show anything interesting or healthy for dinner. There was a number on the refrigerator for Chinese, but the thought of vomiting it back up in the morning did wonders for her appetite.

She looked again and decided that maybe a cheese omelet and some asparagus would be the best thing right now.

An hour later, she was finished with dinner and the clean up. The folder she'd brought with her from the doctors appointment was on the table in front of her. Even though she'd seen the images of her baby on the screen at the clinic, pulling the pictures out and looking at them was an entirely different thing.

She pulled them out of the folder and began to try and see what the technician had showed her during the test. The tech had been kind enough to mark the pictures, but she still couldn't tell that it was a baby. The doctor had told her that since she was just 6 weeks along, the baby would be the size of a grain of rice and wouldn't look like a baby.

She turned the picture this way and that and tried to see if it looked like it should. "What am I talking about? How would I know if anything was wrong with it? The tech said that everything looked okay and Dr. Kelly said everything was okay. Stop worrying!" But it wasn't that easy because she kept thinking about her age and all that can go wrong.

She put the picture back on the table and jumped when her cell phone began to beep. She looked at the caller id and stopped in her tracks. She had forgot that she'd promised to keep Reid apprised on how the baby was doing. He might be staying out of the process, but it was only fair to let him know how the baby was growing.

"Hi Reid," she said.

"Emily… Is everything okay? You didn't come back to the office and I was worried."

"Everything's okay Reid. I just forgot to call. I'm sorry."

"So how did the appointment go?"

"The doctor said I'm okay. He's very pleased how things are going and the ultrasound was great."

"Oh!"

"What's wrong Reid? You sound upset."

"I was just wondering if I could see the pictures of the ultrasound."

"Sure! "

"Really…" He squeaked.

"Yeah… You sound surprised."

"I thought you'd say no."

"I'm not going to tell you that you can't see the pictures. You have a right to see your child before and after he or she is born."

"Can I come over right now?"

"Reid, I'm really tired. Can you please just wait till tomorrow?

He was silent for a very long time. Then he said, "I just want everything to be okay for you both. I care about you Emily."

Something in his voice made her heart beat just a little faster. She suddenly felt warmer as though he was holding her like the night in Colorado when she almost lost him to a maniac. She shivered despite the warmth. This was getting out of hand.

"I care for you too Reid. You're one of the best friends I have. Who else would do this for me? You're putting up with so much so that I can be happy. I can't thank you enough."

"I did it because I want you to be happy Emily."

"I am, very happy."

"Okay listen, I have to go. Um, I'll talk to you tomorrow at work."

"Goodbye Reid. Thanks for checking up on me. I'll bring the picture in tomorrow. Can you meet me at my desk before everyone else arrives?"

"Sure, I'll see you tomorrow."

She hung up from the call and went to the table where she'd placed here photo album. She picked up the black and white photographs, and opened the white scrapbook that sat on the top of the coffee table.

The first page said "My first photo album." in pink and blue letters. There was a picture of Emily with the caption underneath: "My Mommy!"

There should be a picture of Reid with the caption: My Daddy!

She told that voice to shut up and added the ultrasound photo to the book. There were many more pages to be filled that spanned the baby's first year. She was going to take as many pictures as she could to remember this first year. Maybe she could have a page for "Uncle Reid," too. It was only fair.

Are you feeling guilty for cutting him out of the process?

"No! We made a deal!"

The problem was that she was starting to feel like it had been a bad deal to make.

---

Emily got off the elevator at eight forty-five am. Reid was already in the bull pen. He was looking at a file and seemed to be completely absorbed in his work, but she knew better. She drew in a huge breath and went to talk to him.

"Hi Reid."

He jumped as thought goosed and then he went pink in the cheeks. "Hi Emily."

"Is anyone else here?"

"N-no. I haven't seen anyone else. I think Hotch is in his office."

"Okay." She reached into her bag and pulled out the ultrasound photo.

She watched him look at it and turn it this way and that. Suddenly she felt total relief that she hadn't been able to really see anything recognizable as human.

"Um… so I think, well - the baby at this stage is about the size of a grain of rice. The features aren't fully formed. In the coming weeks -"

"It's okay Reid. I really couldn't tell that it was a baby either."

He looked so relived that she nearly laughed. "Really! I mean I didn't want to say because well it's our baby and -"

"It doesn't make you a bad person Reid. We just have to wait for next time and I'm sure the baby will start to look like a baby."

"Well, sure it will."

The elevator doors opened and Morgan stepped out. Emily slipped the photo back into her bag and went to her desk. By the time Morgan had gone to get his coffee, they were both deep into their case files.