Disclaimer: See my profile

Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter.

Reid opened the black and yellow cardboard box. The light from the window next to the table fell on the silver paperclips inside the box. He picked up two of the clips and strung them together. The feel of the metal under his fingers was soothing. He added a third clip to the chain he was making and found that all the thoughts that had been swirling inside his head, began to line up in order.

He'd made a mistake. He'd thought that agreeing to stay out of his child's life as the father was the right thing to do. He added another paper clip from the open box and watched the light blink off the silver surface of the chain.

He'd thought that it was best because he knew that Emily didn't love him. He wanted the whole package if he were to acknowledge his role in her pregnancy. He wanted her because he loved her. So he'd made this sacrifice because he loved her. Not that he'd admitted it to himself, or anyone else, because that would have been too easy. It was better to just do this big favor for her and then take what he could get by playing uncle to the child.

He strung another clip onto the chain. It was beginning to get very long and it hung off the end of his kitchen table. The sun sparkled in the windows and off the metal in his hands as though trying to blind him so that he could see the truth.

How does blinding me help me see the truth?

It didn't… The truth had always been there for him to see if he'd just taken off the emotional blinders he'd put on years ago to spare himself grief and the pain of rejection. His long fingered hand reached into the box and strung together another clip to the chain. He should have been able to put this together the minute she asked him to help her.

It was done, there was no going back. In a few months he was going to be a father and there was no way to make Emily see how much he wanted to be in that child's life. He added another paper clip to the chain and heard the soft click as the chain hit the floor.

Everything has an end and a beginning. His child began because he said he'd be her donor because it was what she'd wanted. His sanity or his piece of mind had ended the moment she told him that it had worked.

He added another silver clip to the chain. His fingers stopped moving and clasped the chain tightly in his hand as the thought occurred to him that maybe he hadn't believed that the process would work for her. Had he agreed to it simply because the odds had been against it? If so, they had beaten the odds. So what did that mean?

Did it even matter because she'd ordered him out of her life? She'd told him that she wanted him to stay away. The question was did he stay away for her or fight for the right to see his child and be a part of the life that was growing inside the woman he'd been falling for since Gideon left the team. She'd been so kind to him then. She was the one that forced him to confront the true meaning of why Gideon had left. She forced him not to blame himself for that leaving.

Was that love, or was it just being a good friend. Did she ask him to do this for her now because she loved him and couldn't face it?

No… That wasn't something that Emily Prentiss would do. She didn't play games with peoples lives like that. He added another paper clip to the chain and now it was trailing on the floor behind him. The box was nearly empty. There were three clips left. Still, the problem and its solution were eluding him.

He added the last three to the chain and held it up. It was easy to see the connections, but what was the solution to the problem. He should have listened to Hotch. If he had, he wouldn't be sitting in his kitchen playing with paper clips and refusing to make a decision.

His phone rang, snapping him out of these thoughts. If it was the office, he'd have to go in. God he hoped it wasn't the office. Not now, when there was so much to deal with.

"Reid." He said anxiously into the phone.

"Reid… It's Emily. Look I'm at the clinic having another ultrasound. I haven't gone in yet and I could use some company. Can you come over here?"

He dropped the chain of paper clips and almost dropped the phone. His carefully constructed line of thought was blown into a thousand pieces.

She was asking him to take part in something he'd only dreamed about.

Why is she asking you?

He should be angry! He should tell her that he didn't have time for this. He should hang up the phone and go back to his thoughts and let her work it out for herself. Instead he told her he'd been there as soon as he could.

He shut the phone and looked down at the paperclips in a pile on the creamy yellow tile floor. He bent over and picked up one end of the chain. He held it up to his face and saw the line of his thoughts fall back into place. Then he hooked the two ends together to form a rather large circle.

---

Emily put her phone away and picked up her magazine. Reid had agreed to come with no problem. She should feel better, but instead her hands began to tremble. The pages of the magazine rubbed together with a nearly silent scratching sound.

Everything was going to change.

She put the magazine down on the table because reading had suddenly become impossible. Of course waiting there and just staring at the grey carpet didn't do anything for her nerves. A line had been crossed. There was no going back.

One part of her rejoiced and the other shook in fear. Stop overreacting, you didn't ask him to marry you or anything. It was just a request for him to be part of a life you were trying to deny him.

She jumped when Mai called her name. Excitement began to churn up her stomach again. What would the baby look like this time?

"Hey Emily…" Mai smiled the lovely soothing smile that she always had for Dr. Kelly's patients.

"Hey Mai," She tried to return the smile.

"You look a bit pale today." Mai had a very disapproving tone. Perversely, it made Emily want to laugh. "Are you taking your vitamins and getting plenty of rest?" Emily rolled her eyes behind the tiny woman's back. "I saw that." Mai said.

"Sorry… I'm just not used to having people fuss over me."

"Your mother should be ashamed of herself."

Emily laughed. "I dare you to tell her that."

"If I ever had her in front of me, I would." She said.

"I really am fine." Emily insisted as they entered the examination room.

Mai simply stood in front of her with her arms crossed over her chest. How could someone so small radiate so much authority?

"Alright… I'm having trouble with the baby's father."

"I can't imagine that handsome Dr. Reid being a problem for anyone."

Emily sat down on the wooden bench and Mai got out her digital thermometer. "We made an agreement."

"What kind of agreement?"

"We agreed that Reid would stay out of this after the procedure was successful. We decided that we didn't want to confuse the baby by not living together as a married couple, or lovers. So he agreed to be like an uncle to the baby."

Mai began to laugh, "Honey… What are you talking about? That's the silliest arrangement I've ever heard." She noted the temperature and picked up her blood pressure cuff.

"Do you always laugh at your patients?"

"Yes… When they act like children."

"I'm not acting like a child!"

"No talking till I get a reading." Mai shushed her.

So Emily sat there stewing about what Mai had said to her while the nurse took her readings and noted it down with her pulse rate.

"Okay, you were explaining to me why it was a good idea to try and cut that nice man out of his baby's life."

Emily opened her mouth, but couldn't make it form the words to explain.

"That's what I thought. Why did you two come here in the first place? "

"I wanted to have a baby and the best way to go about it was coming here."

"You didn't think about doing it the old fashioned way?"

"No!"

"Right… well I'll tell the doctor you're here."

"Mai?"

"Yes."

"Reid is coming in for the ultrasound. Would you tell the girls up front to send him back when he gets here?" Emily followed Mai back to the room from the scale and getting weighed.

Mai looked at Emily with something like understanding. "Yeah… Perhaps you aren't as dense about this as I thought you were."

"Hey…"

"I only say it because I want all my patients to be happy. Now Dr. Kelly wants to go in vaginally this time, for a better look. There's a robe for you over there." On that note, she left the expectant mother to disrobe and to think.

---

Reid was grabbed by Mai the minute he entered the office. "She told me you were coming in."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes. You can relax Dr. Reid."

"I'm fine," He insisted, unclenching his hands that had become fists.

"What is it with you two and the "I'm fine," mantra you both chant all the time?"

Reid could only stare at her. She grinned at him. "You look just like she did a minute ago when I said the same thing to her. When are you two going two stop playing games, and admit you love each other?"

They were halfway down the hallway to Emily's exam room. "Has anyone ever told you, that you'd make a great profiler?"

"Yeah, I hear that all the time."

"You do?"

"No, I'm joking. Seriously though, I need to ask you a very important question."

Reid went pink in the cheeks. "Oh um… what did you need?"

"Well, there have been a lot of women coming in here looking for genius sperm from a really good looking guy. I figure that since we have leftovers, you wouldn't mind if we used it. We just have to unthaw it."

Reid went greenish-white. "No! Um… well I don't think… No I can't do that!"

"Calm down Dr. Reid… We don't give leftovers to just anyone when someone comes in to be a designated donor. That would be very unethical for us."

"Oh… well, uh thanks! Hey, that wasn't very funny." He said getting a bit red in the face.

"I'm sorry Dr. Reid. I just thought you might want to donate again and spread around that great DNA you have had going on. We'd pay you for it."

"No! I can't do that," He insisted.

"I understand Dr. Reid. Still it's a real shame. You do know that we'll dispose of the rest of your donation after the baby is born. We just need to keep it until Emily successfully completes her pregnancy. " She took his arm and pulled him down the hallway to Emily's room.

"You don't think anything will happen, do you?" He asked anxiously.

"No! Emily is very healthy. The pregnancy is going right on schedule. She and the baby are going to be fine. Now… Let's go get a look at that baby of yours." She winked at him and knocked briefly on the door.

Reid followed her into the room. Emily was sitting up on the table. She gave him a hesitant smile that made his insides knot up a bit.

"I'm going to go get Dr. Kelly." Mai said. "Why don't you two just make yourselves comfortable?"

She left the room. Reid sat down on the wooden bench and looked down at his dark blue converse shoes. Emily didn't say anything, so he looked up at her and saw that she was staring at him.

"Thanks for coming in. You didn't have to do this."

"Emily, you know how I feel."

"Yeah, I guess I do. I'm sorry." She suddenly blurted out. "I was wrong to try and keep you out of this. I never thought about how being kept away would hurt you. I really have turned into my mother."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is. I practically ordered you to stay away without regard for your feelings. Why didn't you get mad at me? You're always so calm. You take things from people that you shouldn't and they just push more and more. I push more and more… I wish you'd yelled at me, or threatened to go to court, or something."

"I don't want to do that."

"Reid I think -"

She was interrupted by another knock at the door. Dr Kelly came in and greeted both of them. He shook Reid's hand and smiled at him.

"I'm glad Emily brought you in this time."

"Me too," Reid admitted.

"Okay, I'm sure that Mai told you I want to take a look vaginally for this ultrasound. We'll get a better look that way. I want to be absolutely sure that everything is okay."

"Alright," Emily said with a tremor in her voice.

The nurse draped Emily from the waist down. Reid went red and turned toward the door when his friend assumed the position.

"Let's take a look at your baby." Dr. Kelly said when Mai pulled Reid around again.

He was relieved that he couldn't see anything personal on Emily. The nurse turned on the monitor and he watched as the black and white screen hummed to life.

"Here we go." Dr. Kelly said. "Just relax Emily. There will be a little pinch, but I know you're used to that."

She nodded and then surprised Reid by reaching over to take his hand. He squeezed it and kept his eyes on the screen.

It was really going to happen!