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Warning: see my profile and the first chapter
Sophia jumped up on the couch next to Emily. She sniffed at the white scrap book Emily was fiddling with in her lap. She had another picture to add to the book, but just sticking it in there didn't seem right. There was something missing…
Sophia meowed and batted her head against Emily's hand. "No… You had an extra treat when I got home."
The cat stared up at her. Emily stared back at the cat till Sophie blinked. "Yes… I win!" Emily shot her fist into the air.
Sophia hissed at her, and then jumped down off the couch and ran out of the room. "You don't scare me! Who else would feed you?" She yelled after the disappearing cat.
Now that she could give her full attention to the picture to be added to the album, her thoughts went back to the feeling that she was missing something.
Because you didn't give everything you could have to your baby.
It was years ago… I was a child!
That's no excuse, if you'd told your mother…
A tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. She brushed it away with her fingers. It was just the hormonal changes in her body. It was making the memories she'd lived with for twenty years that much more intense. It would pass.
She picked up the album and opened it to the first page that contained the first ultrasound picture of her baby.
"It's going to be different this time little one. I'm going to take the best care of you that I can. You have a daddy that loves you and your grandmother… Well, it doesn't matter this time whether she likes you or not. You're gonna have the best mommy and daddy. You're going to have lots of great uncles, aunts and friends."
More tears fell onto the book and the plastic she'd put over the photo to protect it. They ran down the slippery material and onto the light grey carpet.
She didn't have any pictures of the tiny little boy she'd lost. But, she'd never forget the perfect little face and the dark curly hair that had surrounded it. They'd only given her a glimpse of the baby; they hadn't let her hold the baby. They said that it was better if she didn't. Her mother had said that it was better.
"Mom… I want to hold him."
She'd been exhausted. Sweat had dotted her forehead and she could smell the blood that had accompanied the birth of her little boy. Underneath all of it was the smell of antiseptic that burned in her nose like acid. Nurses were attending to her as the doctor tried to talk to her over her mother's lecture.
Why couldn't her mother just hug her? She wanted her to hold onto her like she wanted to hold her dead baby. She wanted to cuddle him, and kiss him, and make up for all the neglect. But it was too late and it was her fault.
"You can't hold him Emily… He's gone." Her mother was saying and she could see that her mother was glad.
"It's your fault…" Emily had screamed at her. "You're the reason my baby is dead. I hate you mom."
"Emily…." Her mother's eyes had gone shocked and angry.
"I hate you mother. I never want to see you again."
The nurse had come to her bedside at the order of the doctor. Her mother was crying, but her tears looked contrived to Emily, just like it did every time she'd seen her mother shed a tear.
The tearing pain she felt in her belly had subsided, but the pain in her heart would never leave and seeing the relief in her mother's eyes was too much.
"Get out of here. I don't want to see you."
"You will not speak to me that way!"
There was prick in her arm and she felt the rest of her pain eventually begin to fade away. "No… don't wanna sleep. Please don't make me go to sleep." Her speech was beginning to slur. Everything was looking gray and soft around her. Her mother's face got more, and more, dim with the passing seconds and then her eyes fluttered to sleep.
Emily opened her eyes and looked around at her condo. She was an adult now and this was her place. Her mother had hurt her and she had hurt herself for not coming out and telling her mom that she was pregnant. Perhaps she'd still have her boy if she hadn't lied and denied everything to her mother.
It wasn't just your fault. Your mother wasn't exactly easy to talk to.
"I promise you'll always be able to talk to me." She promised the child within her.
----
A knock sounded at her door interrupting her thoughts and promises. Who the hell is that at ten am on a Sunday morning?
The most likely person was Reid. Her heart actually jumped at the thought of seeing him standing there in one of his sweater vests and his cords despite her annoyance at his overprotective ways.
"I know you're in there," A familiar voice said through the door. "I'm not leaving till you open the door." the voice sang in a surprisingly good soprano voice.
"Alright," Emily mumbled. She used a tissue to wipe away the rest of her tears before going to the door.
She looked through the peephole and saw Garcia standing there grinning like an idiot with something in her arms.
Emily sighed and opened the door. "What do you want?"
Garcia smiled even wider around the paper shopping bag in her arms. She slid around Emily into the condo and headed for the kitchen.
"Come right in," Sarcasm dripped from her voice, but it didn't faze Garcia who was pulling eggs, milk, cheese, green onions and a whole stack of other food from the bag.
"Hey Emily," She chirped as the older woman stood tapping her foot against the white tile of the floor.
"What are you doing here?" She repeated in case Garcia had gone deaf or something.
"My, aren't we cranky on this lovely Sunday morning. Is it hormones or -"
"I'm not cranky! "
"Right, so you're yelling just to hear the sound of your voice."
Garcia finished unpacking enough food for an army and began to open and close Emily's cabinet doors.
"No! I was busy." Emily looked pointedly at the album on the coffee table.
"Oh, scrap booking… Looks like fun, but you need something to eat for junior there."
She pushed a finger into Emily's belly which at twenty weeks, was beginning to get round.
Emily slapped Garcia's hand away and the blond laughed. "I thought so. I'll bet you just got up an hour ago and haven't eaten yet."
Emily looked down at the white pajama bottoms and the pink tank she was wearing. It was the first set of maternity clothes she bought. It paid to be comfortable in bed.
"I had a glass of orange juice and a blueberry muffin."
"That's not going to do it. You're eating for two now."
"You sound like Reid."
Garcia was cracking eggs into a glass bowl she'd found in the cupboard above the sink. She looked up at Emily and smiled. "Yeah… He's been seriously funny the last month. Talk about a food Nazi."
"It's driving me nuts."
"Here, cut up the green onions. I'm going to make you the best omelet you've had in your life."
Emily took the onions to the sink and gave them a quick rinse while Garcia began chopping some red, green and yellow peppers.
"So how are you feeling today?"
"I'm fine!"
"Really…"
"Yeah, I've finally got my appetite back now that I've stopped puking everyday."
"Well there's that!"
"Yeah… worshiping the porcelain God isn't my idea of fun."
"Where's your griddle."
Emily pointed at the cabinet next to the sink. Garcia found it and took it to the cutting board. She began transferring all the chopped and diced vegetables, olives and cheeses into separate bowls.
"Now… watch and learn."
Emily watched her friend put together omelets for them. It was nice to have a good friend there to talk to about her pregnancy. In truth, it was nice not to have Reid hovering over her.
When the omelets were plated, Emily poured out juice for both of them as she'd got rid of all the coffee so as not to be tempted to drink it while pregnant.
They went to the living room and the couch. "So this is the album you told me about." Garcia set her plate on the coffee table with her glass of apple juice. "There isn't much to it."
"That's what I like about you, your unflinching honesty."
"I'm just saying that we could jazz it up a bit. Have you thought of putting a picture of yourself and the baby's father in here for the baby?"
"No!" Emily picked up her fork and took a bite of the omelet. "This is really good. Where did you learn to make this?"
"My father taught me. Don't change the subject!"
"What subject?" She scooped up more egg, cheese and onion.
"Don't play dumb sweetie. I asked you if you intended to add pictures of you and daddy to the album for little baby Prentiss. You said no and I know you don't mean that."
"Garcia, back off. I don't want to talk about it." The damn tears were starting again.
"What's going on Emily?" She put her plate on the table and scooted over to hug Emily tight. "Did he run out on you? If he did, I'll find him with my babies and we'll get Morgan and Hotch to go knock some sense into him."
Emily laughed through the tears that were streaming down her face. Now that would be a sight to see, Morgan and Hotch after Reid. "No! He didn't run out on me. He's the best father a child could have."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I can't tell you Garcia. I promised I'd keep his identity a secret. He has his reasons."
"But you don't agree with those reasons."
"It's not for me to say."
Her phone picked that time to ring. She looked at the Caller ID and almost threw the phone away. Why did he pick this moment to call her?
"I'll be right back."
She hurried into the half bath just off the kitchen and shut the door. "Are you out of you mind." She hissed into the phone.
"Emily…" He squeaked.
"No, it's the Queen of England. Who did you expect?"
There was a very long silence. "Um… Are you mad at me?"
"No! Why would I be mad at you Reid? Garcia is here!"
"Oh… Um, tell her I said hello. I just wanted to see if you were okay."
"No, I'm not going to tell her you said hello." She shouted at him, despite Garcia in the next room. "I thought we agreed that you were going to back off and stop acting like an Italian mother!"
He got really quiet.
"Fine… If you're going to call me and then just sit there and not talk, I'm hanging up."
She slapped the phone shut and banged it down on the counter top. Maybe if she threatened to tell the rest of the team, he'd back off.
Tears started falling again and that just made it worse. She'd become a whiny, crybaby because of her damn hormones.
"It's not your fault, little one." She assured the baby. "Mama just needs to kick your daddy's ass and everything will be great."
She wiped at her eyes and pulled her hands through her hair. Maybe Garcia wouldn't notice that she'd been crying and it would be okay. She adjusted her tank top around the tiny baby bump and opened the door.
Garcia was standing there looking a bit stunned. "Why didn't you tell us that Reid's the father of your baby?"
