I couldn't move

A/N- Hello everyone! So I know a lot of you did not like that last chapter's events. I was wondering how you guys were going to react to that chapter as well as to the next few! So, I hope you guys all enjoy it!

Also… over 200 reviews! WOOT! Thank you to all of my reviewers, I love you all. Also, thank you to all of those who have added this story as an alert or a favorite as well as added me to a favorite author/alert. I love you all!

A note about review shoot-outs… they are in mot recently received to earliest received. It was just easier for me to do it this way today. They're all there though!

The Classic Chic- Ok… wow. I can't believe you just reviewed every chapter! Thank you so much though! Partially thanks to you this story has over 200 reviews now! I'm glad you went… well crazy almost this story! Just to give you a heads up, I am working on another JamesOC story currently, but it won't be up for a while.

MainlyMaddison- Oh no indeed…

Aria DeLoncray- That wasn't their biggest concern really… their biggest concern was just keeping themselves alive and everyone together. She also did see the attack at one point. It was when Cerys was looking elsewhere that the main attack happened.

DazzleMeLaLa- Sadly he did mean it, but you'll understand why in this chapter.

EmeraldLace- Aw don't be completely mad at him! It wasn't all his fault…

BirdieInABox16- We'll just have to wait and see what happens…

Superdani- I am doing better now actually! Everything's been rolling off and at least in public there's been some peace. I'm also working to get that back into our room, but I know it's going to take some talking and I'm hoping they won't cry and yell at this one. For now, I get to go to work (and see my lovely Sea Lions!) and study! Of course, writing the final chapters for this story are in there too…

Bellawish2b- Unfortunately… he was.

AnnaMollyPR- Yes you do have a good amount of chapters waiting for you. A bit more drama and a bit more of life… Thanks for the review!

I couldn't move. I remained in my room. I was still in shock, even though I had stopped crying, I was still in my stupor. Everyone had tried to get me out to feed, but I wouldn't move. I was cling to the blankets where the last scents of James remained. Currently I was planning on just dying from hunger, although Eleazar and Tanya both assured me the bloodlust would drive me mad and would send me flying out to the nearest blood source.

I didn't listen. I just sat there. Eventually everyone got too scared for what I would turn into with the bloodlust and madness from being left alone and called Carlisle. He brought bags of blood and forced me to drink them. The helped the bloodlust almost immediately, but I was still comatose.

"Cerys, we're going hunting now." Tanya said quietly at my door. I nodded, a move that made my neck cringe in due to the stiffness. I felt Tanya smile from my position on the bed. That simple nod was the only movement I had made since James had left and I had moved to the bed.

I looked outside; summer was starting to take over. I sighed watching the wind play with some of the leaves that were still on the ground. The meadow must be so beautiful right now, with all of the flowers completely out of their slump. Perhaps more deer or caribou were out, along with some beers.

The thought of the meadow had me up and out of the bed. I changed quickly and found a backpack to pack some clothes into. I listened to everything in the house, everyone was still gone. I quickly left, the house, looking back once I was outside. Before I waited for them to return I jumped into the trees and ran towards the meadow. I had gotten used to running through the trees instead of the ground over the past few days. James had even started to call me monkey because of it. That single thought nearly sent me crashing to the ground as I stopped in the middle of a jump. I choked on my breath, but continued on.

The meadow was just as I thought. The snow had given way to green grass, which had barely been making an appearance when I first brought James here. Flowers were blooming and sure enough there were a few deer grazing in the center. Even though I had stopped in the tree line, the deer were extremely skittish, their senses already registering that I was here.

I watched for a while, nature bringing me some peace that I had been missing in my life. The deer jerked their heads up before running out of the field. I looked down below me to see Laurent emerge from the trees.

"I know you're here, Cerys." He called out. I watched him for a bit as he turned in a circle. "Taking to the trees now are we?"

"It's more peaceful up here." I replied.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Laurent asked.

"I can't take it any more." I replied.

"You know the dangers of leaving, don't you? You might not be able to resist the pull of human blood."

"I know, but currently, I'm willing to risk it. I was planning on staying in national parks or forests, as far from humanity as possible." I replied.

"You won't say goodbye to anyone?" Laurent asked.

"I'm sure you can do that for me." I replied. "I'll call you though, let you know that I'm alright."

"You sound like a teenager going off on their first road trip." Laurent laughed.

"You forget, this whole ordeal pretty much started off that way." I replied.

"Are you going to chase after him?" Laurent asked, a serious tone underlying his words.

"I don't know right now. I want to. I feel as though I'm missing most of myself right now, but I know he doesn't want me around. He made that clear enough." I replied.

"You do know it wasn't you, right?" Laurent asked.

"What?"

"It was Chelsea, part of the Volturi's guard. We believe there was an order sent out to where it hurt the most for you."

"My love." I said quietly.

"They're hoping you'll come to them now that James is out of the way." Laurent replied.

"Why didn't you tell me this till now?" I asked.

"Because you weren't listening. Eleazar tried, but you would just shake your head or just stare numbly outside. We knew it wasn't worth it to push it until you would listen."

"Still, there must have been weakness if the attempt was successful. There still must have been doubt somewhere, I'm just not sure where." I replied.

"She's powerful, you have to understand." Laurent pleaded.

"Right now, I just know that I'm lost and I'll be gone until I find what I've lost or something to replace it." I replied.

"Just come back to us at some point. You are family." Laurent said. I jumped down to the ground, landing lightly on my feet. I walked up and hugged Laurent tightly, smiling sadly into his shoulder.

"Thank you." I said quietly. I kissed his cheek as I backed up. I smiled sadly once more before jumping back in the trees and taking off once more.

oOoOoOo

I hadn't though most of my journey. By the time I reached Seattle it had been a day and a half. I had spent most of the previous day feeding off of any animal I came across until I was sure I was full. Cautiously I made my way back into my familiar neighborhood. I made sure my hood was pulled up so that no one would recognize me. I made it to my house and looked up at the familiar windows. A light was on from a side window on the second floor, my mom's window.

I quickly made my way to the backyard. I scaled the wall easily enough and just held myself next to the window. My mom had fallen asleep reading, something she only did after my dad had died. On a table next to her bed sat two picture frames when before there had only been one. I quietly opened the window and slipped in. She had switched the picture of just my father out of the older silver frame with trees etched into the sides for a picture of me and my father from when I was younger. The newer one was the same frame, only this time it was wood with the trees in black. This time there were two pictures inside it, my senior picture and the last picture my father had taken, which was a professional one with him in his uniform.

I broke down once more. I never wanted to hurt my mom. I couldn't believe that even though we had planned for it to be later, I still had to hurt her. I know if I wasn't changed then she wouldn't have been the only one hurting, but still, I didn't want her to hurt.

My mother stirring brought me back to reality and I looked over to her bed. She was staring at me lazily. "Cerys." She said with a smile. "I knew you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye."

"Mom." I whispered. I crawled over to the side of her bed and took her hand in mine.

"I knew you'd come back in my dreams, you were always good like that." My mother smiled and I couldn't help by smile either.

"Of course I'd come back to you. You know I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you."

"You're so cold… that is to be expected I guess. How is James? You two are happy together now?"

"Of course Mom." The mention of James and being happy together forced me to hold back a cry.

"And your father, have you seen him?" My mother asked, hope lighting up in her eyes.

"He's here. He's watching over you." I lied, although I knew my father was always watching over us, hopefully over my mom more than me now. "He can't wait for the day you're together again."

"A family again." My mother murmured as she slowly fell asleep again.

"A family." I replied. I held onto her hand until I was sure she was asleep. When her breathing evened out again I stood up and turned off the light. "I love you." I whispered before disappearing outside once more.

I made my way through the streets in a blur. I was outside of the city limits soon enough and into the woods. I wanted to go to Wolf's Rock, but at the same time I didn't want to. It held too many memories of James, Laurent, Victoria, and my father. Too many emotions. I hesitated and slowed in my running. I was on the edge of the clearing. Instead of making my mind and either leaving or entering the clearing, I circled it. I made a wider circle to go around the little lake as well.

I stopped to feed eventually. I continued to eye the clearing as I circled it once I was done eating. I could barely see the rocks from where I sat now. Eventually I knew I had to go there, and get this over with. I took a few steps in before the sun hit me. I covered my eyes first, before I realized I was sparkling, except it didn't seem as brilliant as James.

I climbed up the rocks and sat down at the top. The feelings overwhelmed me, but I held them back. My face was stone; although I was sure it was the saddest stone anyone had ever seen. I felt dead for the first time. When my father died I had my mother, but now I had no one.

"I was wondering when you would be coming here." A voice said from bellow me.