Dealing with the Damage
"Aaron, tell me what happened?" she asked holding him close to her.
"Evie?" he answered.
"Evie's fine. She's sleeping in her Moses basket. It's you I'm worried about."
He sighed and looked down. He knew she deserved to know. She'd found him trying to scrub his skin off. They were going to get married after all. He had to tell someone. It was killing him inside.
He told her everything he could remember clinging to her embrace. At the end he added, "Please don't leave me. I need you. I love you. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to be strong, I really am."
"Aaron," she answered stroking his back. "None of this is your fault. It was all her. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve any of it. She's gone now. Dave killed her. She can't hurt you anymore. We're in this together. I'm going to help you over this."
"I don't deserve you," he answered snuggling into her. "I'm dirty. I'm disgusting. You deserve better."
"Aaron, listen to me," she answered making him look at her. "You aren't dirty or disgusting. You're the best man I've ever known. You've just been victimised and violated. You didn't deserve any of this. You're the man I will always love no matter what."
"I love you, Emily," he answered quietly.
"I love you too, Aaron," she replied kissing his hair, "and I'm not going anywhere." He nodded and she held him close to her. "We're going to get married. You won. She can't hurt us again."
He relaxed further into her as she held him close. He felt safe in her arms. He knew she'd never hurt him. He never wanted him to go without her again. He was so relieved she'd agreed to marry him.
She held him close trying to sooth him she wasn't going anywhere. Having finally got the confirmation that she'd sexually violated him she wanted to scream. No-one did that to her fiancé. No-one made him feel this way and got away with it. She was so thankful Dave had shot her as if he hadn't she'd have hunted her down and beaten her to death.
"Everything's alright now," she answered kissing his hair. "We'll get through this together. I promise you I'm not going anywhere."
They soon heard the door go and Jessica call, "Emily, Jack's home."
"Shall we go down and see him?" she asked her fiancé. "Do you feel like you're ready?"
He nodded. "But Emily I don't want him to know what happened this afternoon."
"Don't worry, he won't. He'll only ever know what you want him to know. We made a deal to keep our world from him. Never let him know the true evil that is out there."
He whispered, "thank you."
They got up off the bed and he made sure his bath gown was fastened tight. They then went down to greet Jessica and Jack.
When they got down there Jessica was relieved to see Aaron looked alright. Emily shook her head to tell her not to talk about what she'd said on the phone.
"Everything's alright now," she said.
"I'm glad," Jessica answered.
He looked at her betrayed and moved a little away. "Aaron, please." She whispered. "I only told her you were trying to scrub your skin off. I needed to tell her why I was so panicked. Aaron, you know I'd never break your confidence."
He nodded and came back closer to her. She wrapped her arm around him and helped him down to his son. When they reached the bottom of the stairs Jack ran up to him. He hugged him carefully.
"Dad, you're home," he exclaimed.
"Yes I am, buddy," he smiled back.
"Does that mean you're better now?"
"It means I'm well on the mend."
"Will you be going to work tomorrow?"
"No, I have another week scheduled off to spend with the people that matter most to me. You, your sister and Emily."
He beamed. "Can we play together?"
"Carefully yes. Until I regain my strength I'll have to use a walking stick."
"You'll get better really soon, dad. You're a fighter."
"Yes he is," Emily smiled at Aaron. "We'll get through this all together."
He nodded and added, "I'll help."
Emily crouched down by him and smiled, "I know you will, buddy."
"I love you, mum."
"I love you too, buddy." She whispered, "Dad needs to know too."
He nodded and turned back to hug him. "I love you, dad," he said hugging him.
"I love you too, buddy," he answered hugging his shoulders. He wished he could crouch down and hug him properly. He hoped he could soon enough.
"Where's my sister?" he asked worried.
"She's asleep in the living room," Emily reassured.
"Can I see her?"
"Of course you can."
"I'd better get going," Jessica smiled seeing Aaron was alright. It was a relief to see him up and about. She knew he'd get stronger and fitter as time went on.
"You could stay for dinner," Emily answered looking at Aaron who nodded.
"Yes please stay," Aaron smiled. "We haven't been able to spend much time together recently."
"I'd love to," she smiled back. "Do you need some help making it?"
"You're our guest. Sit down with Aaron and the kids while I cook," Emily smiled. "Thanks for bringing Jack home."
"Anytime."
She whispered, "Please help Aaron look after the kids and boost his confidence. I've never seen him so insecure before."
She nodded and assured her, "he'll be back to normal soon enough. We just need to be there for him."
She nodded and left them to go into the living room while she went to make dinner. She just hoped her family would get back to normal soon. She knew it would take some time getting over what Aaron had suffered. She would help him through though. She knew he'd never see a psychiatrist unless he was forced to.
That night they tucked the kids in together. She wanted to remind him what he had and that he'd won. He had a family that would always be here for him. She knew she had to keep life as normal as she could for his recovery. He hated a fuss made over him.
She helped him into their own bed that night. He was so glad to be in his own bed but he hoped she didn't expect anything more than to just share their bed. He just didn't feel ready to be intimate.
He hoped he would be soon as he didn't want it to scare him or give him bad memories. It wouldn't be fair on Emily if they never made love again. She'd leave down the line if it carried on like that. He also wanted more children.
"Emily..." he said nervously.
"Yes Aaron," she answered concerned.
"Can we not have sex tonight? I'm not ready."
"Of course...Aaron, I'm not going to push you. We'll take this at your pace."
"Thank you for understanding."
She stroked her hand down the side of his face and answered, "Aaron, I love you. I'll never hurt you."
"I know. I love you too, Emily."
She kissed his cheek and said, "Sweet dreams, honey."
"Sweet dreams, darling," he answered kissing her cheek.
They both fell asleep in each other's arms. It was the way he felt safe. That was what he needed right now while he was vulnerable. It assured him she'd never leave him even now she knew everything he'd suffered. She loved him he had no doubt of that.