Chapter Four

Everything We'd Miss

Max Voiceover (Top of the Command Platform)-

Another day has passed and the city is once more quiet. A few stragglers hang around, our night crew, everyone else is in their quarters, spread all across this twenty block stretch. The ones on the outskirts along with the guards we have posted are there watching the outside streets and making sure we stay safe. Logan's in the main building, this building. Fast asleep in the same room with Alec, Logan however is on a couch which is shockingly almost long enough to fit his body, while Alec's on the floor. I checked in on them a little while ago, asleep in what's basically an office, but works best for them both so they can be by my side in seconds if anything goes wrong.

The sight of Logan, his glasses off and looking my age in sleep with a small baby covered in a baby blue terry onesie resting on his chest…

I don't really know how to describe it besides from right.

Maybe it's because Cale looks like Logan. I know his hair is lighter and his eyes are blue and not Logan's green, but seeing them together, they just fit…

Logan's 32. I guess it makes sense. Seeing him with Cale is proof that I did the right thing letting him go, it's everything I'm keeping him from, everything he deserves. He would have waited year after year, watching his cousins marry and have kids; he would have just been waiting for the day he could hold my hand again. He starting to understand though now, he's understanding everything he's missing, everything I can't give him.

Logan's the only person I ever dreamed of having a family with, he's the only person I ever thought about marrying. That entire first year we were together, we were both fighting it so hard, but I would see kids and parents on the street and I would think of Logan and me. I would see a little girl with dark hair and light eyes and I would wonder if our daughter would look like that. I would always be so confused by it, but it happened regardless of how hard I tried to fight it, it would come from out of nowhere.

I would see how people looked at us as if we were a couple, I would see them smile from the next table when I would pick on Logan. I would see their eyes glisten as he'd reach across the table and take my hand. I would see them nod in approval when Logan would take out his wallet every time the bill came because that's what men were supposed to do.

Sometimes I would forget myself, that he wasn't my boyfriend, that it wasn't a date.

That's all gone now though, slowly but surely it's leaving. We're being forced to move on.

There isn't going to be a cure, there's no one left anywhere around to give us one. I haven't stopped looking, I know he hasn't either, it's just that there's no one around who can beat this for us. Who knows maybe in 20 years when the rest of the scientific world is as advanced as Manticore was, maybe then I can hug him at his kids' graduations, but there is no here and now for Logan and I.