The Past Always Returns
Danny held Lacey's nude body against his body as he started the shower. He wondered if the water was too hot or too cold. He couldn't remember how Lacey liked her water temperature. Little things like that were beginning to gnaw at him as well as being out of the loop of being in Lacey's life. Petty things were even making him want to punch a hole in the wall. Danny was trying to push back all the hurt Lacey had made him feel. He thought it was better to push back the feeling of pain for the feeling of pleasure he was about to endure.
He hadn't showered with a woman in years. As a matter of fact, Lacey was the only one he had ever showered with. He didn't know why. All he knew was that she meant the world to him and he didn't want to share some of the intimate moments with any other woman.
Although Lacey was sobbing into the crook of Danny's neck, he knew the boundaries of making her really angry. He learned that years ago in the first two months of their dating their third go round in high school. Lacey was mad one time. Danny quipped off asking her if she was on the rag. To put it mildly, the beautiful crystal vase Karen bought online was shattered against the wall behind Danny's head after Lacey threw it at him. Awwww….the memories.
Danny was acting a little too much like every other male. One of those men that didn't understand why you couldn't just have sex and still be mad. Take out a little frustration in a good physical way. Instead of spouting off orders like he was used to doing. That didn't help much at all. Ordering the family around didn't bring on the power he had figured either. But the feminine body that clung to his neck was keeping his pulse rate up in a whole different way.
Danny was still debating with himself. How much foreplay was enough for a woman that hadn't been touched by him for five years? He should've been thinking about Lacey's sobbing. He was. Until she wiggled closer to him. Breasts against chest. What tears?
Danny knew it. He felt it. The need to make love to Lacey again was dominating him at the moment. Better find a balance before he decided to make love without caring about her emotions. He could make love to her and regret it later. Could he do that? That and a whole lot more. Better keep that tidbit to himself as well.
Danny placed Lacey down under the spray. He stepped in behind her. Lacey turned around to face him.
Her big brown eyes filled with more tears. "I'm sorry."
Great! Just great! He was caving. Danny's love of his life was crying. It was easier when her head was buried in his neck. Didn't have to see the hurt that way. But now he saw Lacey's pain and fear.
"I'm so sorry." Lacey whispered as she leaned into Danny's wet chest.
Danny swallowed a few bits of pride. He owed her a few apologies. He didn't realize how stubborn he had became.
Lacey kept repeating the words. "I'm sorry."
Danny was breaking his will power. The overwhelming feeling of love was taking over the lust. Dang! He really liked the lust too.
"I'm sorry too, Lace." Danny leaned and kissed each of Lacey's eyelids. Part of Danny was thinking that could be considered more foreplay. Right?
Danny thought to himself...Buck up Danny. You owe her more than that. She did sacrifice for you after all. Oh boy how he'd like to show her sacrifice right now . Cocky. "You were doing what you thought was best at the time. I just need to let it go. Start new."
"Why?" Lacey sniffed as her finger traced a droplet of water on Danny's chest. Her turn to lust awhile. She was just better at hiding it. "Why were you so mad besides not knowing of Thomas? It seemed like a lot more to it."
"Pent up emotions. I guess I haven't felt anything for a while. I kind of felt numb after mom died and you pushed me out of your life." Danny sighed. If Lacey took her finger any lower, forget 'I'm sorry.' It was more 'Let's get it on.'
"Is that all?" Lacey batted her eyelashes. She knew a few tricks of her own.
"No." Danny just wanted to take her body. She was dripping wet. Slick and naked. Why did women have to talk about emotions so much? He could show her some emotions! "I was upset about how much had changed. Especially, that I didn't get to see him born."
Danny hoped that was enough talk. He was more a man of action. Speaking of action. His tongue had missed parts of her skin just begging to be tasted. Yeah, he could make her forget conversation. He just knew it.
Bam! Danny's knees hit the shower floor. That way he was more eyelevel with the other parts of Lacey's body he admired. Two pretty perky parts.
"I'm sorry." Danny whispered huskily. One more time for good measure.
Danny was like a thirsty dog panting for water. He lapped up the droplets of water on Lacey's skin with vigor. Conversations halted. On both parties part. Even Lacey knew when time came to stop talking.
Screaming. Well, that was another story.
Danny decided he liked foreplay more than he remembered. Beautiful skin to play with. Taste and tickle. Lacey didn't care if parts of Danny were debating. She could tell he was trying to consider her vulnerable state. Maybe she should say not to worry about it. But Danny was being slow and sensuous. Tasting parts of her neck and mouth one minute. Rough and rowdy then next as he pushed her against the tile walls. Tasting a lot more than neck and mouth. What a wonderful world it was to be Lacey Porter at the moment.
Danny grabbed her up. He had a few plans that just didn't work in the shower. The space was too confined.
Lacey gasped. The man sure knew how to make this a welcome home party. Party just for two! They weren't young teens anymore experiencing their first time. Lacey definitely realized that. Okay. That was new. And that!
"Danny?" Lacey whispered. Sure she was loving it. But exactly how many women had Danny been with to get this good at this?
"I'm sorry." Danny wasn't sure why he was saying that. But it seemed to shut her up before. Maybe it would work again.
"GAawww..Danny?" What did he mean 'I'm sorry'? WAS HE CONFESSING SOMETHING!?
"Missed you. Missed this..us!" Did that sound better than 'Please shut up! I'm busy here!'
"Haa..Mmmm. Have…You been with a lot of women?" Lacey stammered it out as quickly as her blissful body would let her. It seemed important for some reason. "Did you love someone else?"
"No." Danny had been a choir boy when it came to abstinence in most cases. Five years and few woman was his life. Therefore, didn't he deserve a lot less talk and a little more action? He wasn't too keen on both. Sure he was intelligent. But the thoughts he was having needed some deep contemplation.
"Then..Oh..yeS!" Hissing sounded good. "How do you…this." Lacey panted.
"Five years of thinking about it." Danny stopped. He stared into Lacey's eyes. "I love you. Now do you want me to continue or do you want to talk?" Danny had spoken.
Lacey swallowed. He loved her. Then it hit her like hitting a brick wall. Danny was saying anything she wanted to hear for his ultimate goal. The man was doing his usual charm and manipulation. Not this time. She deserved to be told she was loved and meant it. Not to get her to have sex.
"How dare you? You big stubborn jackass! You can't just come back and think I'll have sex with you after your tirade." Lacey yelled as she tried to pull away from Danny.
That was like a bucket of ice water as Danny was pushed away. Lacey was dressing and cursing the whole time at Danny, who lay on the bed grinning. Almost was all he could think. Lacey still wanted him and to Danny, that was a huge start to figuring out where he belonged in her life.
Lacey walked down stairs exhausted and angry. Danny walked down with a satisfied smirk on his face. Samuel glanced at Phoebe. They were hoping Lacey had taken control of Danny now. Looks like Danny got his way. What Samuel and Phoebe didn't know was that Lacey knew what she was doing and there was no way Danny Desai was going to make her bend to his every whim. Although she pretty much almost did. The man did have talent.
Danny watched as Thomas played his electronic game. Still no speaking from his son.
"Samuel." Danny saw the look go across Lacey's face. No more orders to be barked out or he'd never get to make love to gorgeous woman he loved. Danny figured he'd work on the emotional side of Lacey. "I can get those posts ready. I was just hoping we could work on the fence together. You could bring Thomas along. Maybe if he saw me and you together…well, he wouldn't be so afraid of me."
Samuel smiled. "Sure, Danny. We can talk about things. If you want to know some things Thomas enjoys."
"I'd like that." Danny smiled. He did love his son. More than he showed at times. But he had to remember that the boy didn't know him. That hurt but it was something he had to change.
Samuel and Danny were mending the fence as Thomas played with the bucket of nails. He seemed to be lining them up.
"I don't want to upset Lacey." Danny nailed a post into place. "But what is wrong with him? I don't mean that in a bad way. He's different. I know it is autism. I just don't know that much about it."
"Autism is very different with each case." Samuel wiped the sweat from his brow. "Lacey has done major miracles with the boy. He can read on a 7th grade level. He can memorize any thing. So be careful what you say. He repeats things word for word. But he just doesn't talk on his own unless forced . Just a word here and there."
Thomas smiled and giggled. "How dare you? You big stubborn jackass! You can't just come back and think I'll have sex with you after your tirade."
"See." Samuel chuckled. "We tried to get him out of the house."
"Uhh. Yeah." Danny definitely had to remember that one. "I can't forgive her yet."
"Excuse me." Samuel sat down on the tailgate of the truck. "Tommy, go feed that horse some hay."
Lacey had purchased enough land to keep her and Regina's old horse on. She still owed a hefty loan on it. But having Thomas a way to play and enjoy his life was worth all the money she would pay for it. She worked hard to keep this place by cleaning houses, offices, and other jobs that would allow her to have Thomas along. Lacey was prideful but it was well deserved pride.
Danny pointed over the fence toward the horse. Thomas obeyed as usual. Was it fear? Or was there a connection?
"Sit down, Danny." Samuel could tell Danny needed to talk. Danny plopped on the tailgate beside Lacey's father.
"I can't forgive Lacey that easily. It hurts every time I look at Thomas and he seems frightened of me." Sure Danny wanted sex with Lacey. He still loved her and desired her but that didn't make Danny hurt any less at times. Especially when Thomas tried to stay as far away from him as possible.
"She explained." Samuel rubbed his handkerchief over his forehead again.
"I know. I really do." Danny sighed. "Lacey was my everything at one time. I guess she was the one person I could trust the most. But when I found out about Thomas, it reminded me that even Lacey could betray me."
"Go on." Samuel patted Danny's shoulder to continue. Samuel realized he hadn't been the best dad to Lacey. But even he was better than Vikram was.
Danny glanced to watch Thomas continue to feed the horse hay. "Can you tell her that? I don't mean to …hurt her. I don't really. I've always loved Lacey. But it hurts to love her. At this point."
"And when you saw her for the first time again, it hurt not having her. You thought she was married to Trevor?" Samuel inquired.
"I saw a man with the woman who I once loved. Who I still love." Danny admitted. "When I first saw Lacey again. I saw the purest thing I ever had in my life. Stronger than any emotion I've ever had. But when I saw Thomas. I felt the most intense pain of betrayal I ever felt as well."
"Son, talk to Lacey about it." Samuel looked up. "Tommy, that is enough." Thomas kept feeding the horse.
Danny sighed slightly as he spoke. "Tommy. You can stop now."
Thomas once again obeyed immediately. Danny wondered who Thomas thought he was and why he obeyed him so easily. But those thoughts stopped when he saw Lacey coming. Danny smiled as he saw Lacey approaching.
"I brought you some lemonade." Lacey sat down the pitcher and poured each man a glass. "Thomas, come get some lemonade."
Thomas walked over peering at the sky. Danny stood up. "Thanks, Angel." Danny leaned to kiss Lacey's lips hoping she'd accept this middle ground. Maybe they could start slow. Thomas wedged himself between them.
"How dare you? You big stubborn jackass! You can't just come back and think I'll have sex with you after your tirade." Thomas mimicked.
He didn't know what sex was. But he sure liked his mommy screaming at the big guy rather than having her lips on the big guy's lips.
"Oh. He heard." Lacey stepped away from Danny as Thomas pushed on her.
"Apparently." Danny went to take a sip of his lemonade. Before he could, Thomas grabbed it. He drank it down in a quick gulp.
"Thomas! That isn't yours." Lacey reprimanded. Thomas hummed as he rocked back and forth. He stared at the white clouds above him.
"I think Tommy's staking his claim." Danny arched an eyebrow.
"On lemonade?" Lacey exhaled.
"No. On you." Danny poured him another glass of lemonade. Thomas never attempted to take it.
Dinner was about the same. Thomas stuck to Lacey not allowing Danny to touch her. Danny could've ordered Thomas to move. But he didn't think that was appropriate. It wasn't. Danny was causing enough change in the boy's life. He'd not try to change the closeness to his mommy. They all readied for bed. Which brought about a different set of problems. Lacey always slept with Thomas.
"Lace, can I lay with you. Just hold you for awhile?" Danny asked as he stood in the door of Lacey's bedroom. "I miss us."
Lacey bit her lip as she glanced up at Danny. She missed him more than he knew. To be held in Danny's arms again wasn't something she wanted to refuse. It probably wasn't the best idea. Danny could try to seduce her again. But she longed for closeness to Danny. Therefore, Lacey nodded her head. When Danny curled up around her, Thomas drove his feet right into Danny's gut pushing him off the bed with a thud.
"Thomas!" Lacey tried to stifle a giggle.
"Strong fella." Danny stood up.
"I think he doesn't want you here." Lacey grinned sideways.
Danny sat on the bed. "Lacey, I love you. I wasn't lying when I said that. I know you want more proof and more dedication before we throw ourselves back into a relationship. I spent five years not holding you. A couple more days won't kill me. But I'm not allowing the kid to stop me from getting close to you if you allow me that opportunity again."
"Danny.."
"Lacey, please listen." Danny was trying to be considerate and not condescending. "I know you doubt me. I'm going to prove myself just like you have to build a relationship with me again. I'm angry and hurt too."
"Love?" Lacey felt her whole body shiver at those words. "I don't want you to say that to me because..."
"I probably shouldn't throw words out like that. Especially after only a couple of days of being here. I'm sorry." Danny breathed out nervously wishing he could take it back for now. Later, he wanted to be with Lacey as her husband. But he didn't mean to scare her away."I love holding you. I've not had a good night's sleep since I we ended."
"Me neither." Lacey admitted. "But he doesn't have is own room."
"I can tell." Danny sighed out. "Let's not think of that."
"I guess…" Lacey stammered as she admitted. " I do want you back in my bed."
"I want the same. But Thomas isn't ready to share you yet. I love the kid." Danny rustled Thomas's hair. Thomas winced away.
"You do?" Lacey began to sniff back a tear.
"Of course, I do." Danny sighed. "We just haven't bonded. He's terrified of me. I can feel it. But he is hanging on my every word. Aren't you, Thomas?"
"hmmhmmm." Thomas hummed.
"I'll go back to my room." Danny stood up. He walked to the door and peered back.
"Mommy's baby. Mommy's joy. Mommy's happiness. Mommy's boy…" Lacey sung as she wiped Thomas's hair from his eyes. Danny swallowed back the emotions. He missed so much of this life with Lacey and Thomas. But Danny knew one thing for sure. If he wasn't careful, Thomas could control his heart.