Okay this story's choppy and I'm not too sure why or how to fix it….So I'm sorry and I hope you're filling in the blanks well.

Logan has a voiceover in the next chapter, I think I might give Alec one as well soon to sum up as an outsider watching what's going on. I hope those will help. Okay here's the chapter, I hope you enjoy.

Oh and hey there were no threats in the last chapter and it was only budget bc I wanted something to set up this chapter.

Chapter 18

Russian Roulette

A Week Later

"Hey hey I know, you're sad Daddy'll be right back…Hey how about we go to Mommy huh?" Alec said to the slightly fussy Cale that had just been placed in his arms by Logan, who was leaving the room despite Cale's wishes.

Max frowned as she took Cale from Alec's arms, "Alec stop living up to your name, don't confuse him."

She realized Logan had stopped walking away, he turned and faced them, "You were never dating were you." he said out of the blue.

She had no lie prepared, she was caught too off guard, her mouth dropped, "Uh" she began and tried to search her mind for something to say.

Alec was no better and remained silent.

Logan gave a stunned laugh and shook his head, he couldn't believe what an idiot he had been.

"You're not mad?" A confused Alec asked, awaiting the fallout from the lie.

Logan just continued to look at Max with a shocked and amazed smile on his face.

His gaze unnerved her, "Hey Alec can you take Cale and go get those specs from Finn?"

"Uh yea sure," Alec felt slightly bad about leaving Max alone to face Logan's wrath, which he was pretty sure was coming once the shock wore off, but then again this had been her lie, "Come here bud." he took the baby.

Max didn't speak until Alec was gone, "I just wanted to keep you safe" she said softly.

"I know. I'm sorry I made you have to do that." he was still in shock, it showed in his low voice.

"You're not mad?" Her eyes widened as she asked him

He shook his head and ruefully grinned, "You did what you needed to do to keep me safe. I wouldn't have let go Max." he admitted honestly.

Max sat down in shock, part of her saddened by how well he took this, where was the anger, the feelings of betrayal, the hatred, where was the love? "When I thought you were going to die Logan…When I realized you'd grabbed my arm, when you were lying on the floor, when Beverly was checking you out. It was this weird slow down, it was like it was happening to someone else, all at the same time of it being so intense and my mind was trying to get a grip of what the world would be like without you…" There weren't tears in her eyes, she was in too much shock, but the pain of reliving that night was evident, the impossibility of the world going on without Logan in it.

He sat down in front of her and took her hands, "I know, I've been there before."

"You know dying was a lot easier than watching as you were dying."

He nodded, "I know" he said roughly.

"When I finally realized what you were talking about in your apartment, it all became so clear." her voice was so small and there was a tiny catch as she continued, "I had to make you stay away."

"You did the right thing Max." he reassured her as his eyes glistened, "We just had to get over the hump right? Had to get used to living without each other and I wouldn't let go." he smiled softly.

"This is surreal." She'd always known the day would come when he would find out, but it hadn't been anything like this. He hadn't been kind or caring or compassionate in a single one of her nightmares about what this day would be like. Then again when did anything between them go as she expected?

He laughed, "It is isn't it." His face took on a more somber look, "I'm sorry I forced you to do that. It's a lot easier to play Russian Roulette with your own life than it is with someone else's."

She weakly laughed, "You should know. Are you're really not mad?"

He shook his head, "Not mad, kinda sad though."

"Why?"

He touched her cheek briefly and smiled, "I wish you really had moved on."

Max made a face, "You wish I moved on with Alec?"

"Alec isn't such a bad guy."

"Logan, you made me want to pull my hair out…Alec…." she searched for the right words to describe Alec.

"What about Alec?" he asked

"I wanna knee him in the groin."

"Too cocky?" he offered

"Just a tad." she finally allowed herself to really smile.

"I'm really not mad Max" he repeated, knowing she didn't fully believe him.

"You should be, I lied."

He smiled, "Like we've never lied to each other before. You know" he began and squeezed her hands again, "I wouldn't wish losing the person you love on anyone, not even White." He thought about that for a moment, "Okay maybe White. I didn't think I would ever get over losing you." He smiled as he realized he didn't, "I probably never would have and I almost did that to you. I really did convince myself it was my choice, my decision to make, but I didn't think about what would happen to you afterwards. I can't imagine being the reason you hurt like I did." He knew now she would have hurt like he had, he didn't doubt it at all. She had never said the words, but he knew.

She gave a watery smile, "I was the reason you hurt like that."

He laughed, he wasn't going to let her be sad, they'd had enough sadness to last several lifetimes, "Yea and now you've been there 3 times with me? Trust me though, thinking that someone is going to die, is nothing compared to them really being gone. So you need to remember that and not laugh all those times I say be careful."

She laughed for real finally, "You got it."

Okay well that's as close as I can give you for a happy little V-day chapter for this story. I hope you all are having a good day.