Moral of the story... don't predict updates. Until May 20th or so I'm going to update when I can. Then i swear, swear, that I will update every day until this story is over.

Chapter 17

House of Motherhood

Nina

I'm not going into the details of Alice's birth. After all, this is a story of death-my death, not a story of life.

All that needs to be said is that, besides my broken hand, everything about the birth was normal. Isis, being it her thing, was really helpful. (Just not helpful enough to keep Patricia from breaking my hand.) The goddess disappeared soon after the little girl's birth leaving me to face a doubting Patricia.

"Nina? What am I doing?" The voice I heard sounded like my best friend, but at the same time it…didn't. Patricia had always been the strongest one of Sibuna- our fearless and snarky friend. Yet, now her voice was soft and almost like a child herself.

"What do you mean?" I asked her gently moving to sit down besides her and the sleeping Alice. The small child was asleep as Isis had assured us was the norm. To keep the pre-mature child alive, Isis had put her in a trance state in which she'd continue growing as if in the womb. It wasn't a perfect solution, but as long as Patricia remained alive (which another spell should help with) Alice couldn't die.

"Look at her!" Patricia whispered softly. "She'll be asleep for months under Isis' spell and then when she wakes up… what if Eddie can't save us? Is she supposed to grow up down here? Alone with only me for company because Isis can't… because Isis can't protect you? She doesn't even get to have Godparents because I know there is no God in this world I trust!"

"You trust Isis," I reminded her despite knowing that that wasn't what she meant. Before I'd come to England and discovered my heritage as the Chosen One I'd believed in God. I wasn't a really devout person and hadn't even been Confirmed, but I believed there was a God I Heaven who'd started all of this and had to still care.

Now I wasn't so sure. If I'd been to the Afterlife how could I possibly believe in Heaven? This world I'd been thrust in to my Sophomore year of high school seemed to be all there was. This world was all I'd be getting and my death, if it came in a day's time or a million years, would come and I'd go to the Afterlife. Hopefully I'd done enough, saved enough, to go to the Field of Rushes, but who cares. There was no God, there was no Heaven, there was nothing other than the life we were living.

But that's not what Patricia wanted to hear. Patricia needed comfort and that could only be offered amongst lies. "Who is to say there isn't a God?"

Patricia seemed to think I was nuts as she responded, "The goddess Isis just delivered my child before using a spell to tie our life forces together. I'm pretty sure there is no God."

"You never know." Sure, every logical bone in my body agreed with her-God did not exist; yet, I still had that nagging part of my brain that wanted to believe. "Who's to say that God didn't just create the gods as another intelligent being or that the gods aren't fallen angels? Maybe what we saw when we visited Osiris' throne room was what we expected to see. Who's to say Osiris isn't actually Jesus in disguise? I'm not telling you that God exists, but I've think we should never rule anything out."

Patricia, for possibly the first time in her life, was speechless. Her mouth opened and closed like on a rusty hinge before she finally settled on words. "It doesn't matter anyway because if there is a God he's not coming to save us. He didn't stop me and my friends from being sucked into this world and he won't stop Alice from knowing these things too."

Ah. So that's what this was about. As fun as our mysteries had been at school, we were all tired of the constant fighting and danger. Our friends all got the chance to live a normal life, but Patricia wouldn't. She'd fallen in love with fire and now she wasn't the only one getting burned.

"Alice isn't the Osirian," I reminded my friend with a feigned smile. "This won't be her world."

"Look at us!" Patricia, despite losing her cool, remained still as a statue. Alice's spell would keep her sleeping through noise, but if Patricia started pacing and screaming, she'd wake up then. "She was born in a long forgotten part of the Alexandrian Library because a goddess, a GODDESS, made me go into labor early! You do realize how ridiculous this is! And even if she's normal… someday someone won't be. You, Eddie, Eric Sweet, and Alice are the only people on this earth with the blood of Asim. Maybe I don't have any more kids, but what about Alice's kids? Somehow or another I know my children will be dragged into this world. They'll face danger and terror and they'll die. But that won't even matter because you can only go so many days without water and then you'll die and who knows what will happen! KT is the only other person with Amnertis' blood so maybe she'll somehow become the Chosen One and then Alice still will be the Osirian! I don't know but I do know I can't let her live in this world."

"Patricia," my voice was cautionary as I realized this wasn't something she was saying in the heat of the moment. She'd thought about this many times before. "What are you planning on doing?"

Pure terror flushed Patricia's face as she looked at me with wild eyes. "I'm going to protect my child from this world by sending her away. As soon as we get out of here I'm giving her up for adoption. I'll leave her on the hospital steps with a note if I have to. She'll be safe from all of this."

Patricia would never… it would kill Eddie, "What… what would you tell Eddie? That she died?"

"If that's what I have to do," Patricia responded firmly. "I'm too selfish a person to leave him, Nina. I love him too darn much, but I love Alice more. If I have to lie to my husband for a hundred years I will if that means Alice is safe."

"I could tell him. I'd tell him what you did." I knew what it was like to grow up away from your parents. Even if you're raised by someone kind and loving there is just a gap you can't fill. Alice needed her parents and I could never hurt Eddie by letting him think Alice, his daughter, was dead before they met.

"No, Nina, you won't," Patricia whispered softly. "Because you're smart enough to know that the best place for her really is as far away from you as possible and so long as she's around Eddie she's around you."

My jaw fell as my resolve faded. Patricia wasn't trying to protect Alice from her father's word; Patricia was trying to protect Alice from my world. How many people's lives were ruined because of my presence? If I hadn't been around Gran would never have come to the door the day Isis was there. My parents would never have been in that car to die. If Gran hadn't taken me in then she would never have become the timepiece and never have been so weak she died. If I'd never come to England Eddie would never have known what he was. None of my friends would know of this world that destroyed friendships as well as pretenses.

And it was because of me that Alice had been born in a locked library and not a hospital bed. My presence was poison, but as long as I was the Chosen One Eddie would be where I was and Patricia where he was. So long as Alice was with Patricia she'd be with me and that… that was the worst possible place for her.