Hmmm don't know how I feel about this chapter. That's all I'm going to say. It's the Logan's feeling scene that has been asked for, just ended up a little different than I planned.

Chapter 32

Family

Sandeman's house, Logan behind his computer looking at pictures from the day. Max opening her mouth while eating and making a face at a laughing Cale, Cale resting upon his chest….He stops at a picture of Cale on the swing, shortly before Clemente arrived on the scene, Max bent over to his level, their faces next to each other.

Logan Voiceover-

Family

'You're my family,' she'd said those words in what I'd once thought were our final hours. I spent the next three months thinking about them.

Family

I'd had one once, a good one. But I was the child in that one. Beloved son, only child, much like Cale.

I'd tried to recapture some of that happiness with Valerie, I couldn't though. It wasn't the kind of thing you could force.

Family though.

It's responsibility, it's loyalty, it's love. All without being aware of it, never having to think about it.

Love.

That's what remained when I'd finished analyzing it for the millionth time. Family is love, especially to Max.

'You're my family'

I'd hated myself because of those words. I was part of the reason she went. "Never gonna be any kind of anything." she'd said.

I hated myself for being the reason she didn't leave Seattle, time and time again she stayed because of me.

Can't change the past though. Can't go back and redo it all.

All those months I spent feeling guilty, spent being angry with myself over everything that didn't happen between us when I'd had the chance…

We hadn't acted any differently than anyone else would have in our situation. Losing my legs, feeling like less of a person, unworthy of…Well everything, but especially Max. The world that Max had been forced to grow up in...No we hadn't acted any out of what the circumstances we had been put in to would describe as ordinary. Nine months, that really wasn't so long when you thought about it, not for what we had to come to terms with and we'd both only started to heal once we'd come together again.

Forgiving myself has been the hard part, gotta move past though. Can't get it back. We only have the future.

(He smiles at the picture)

I loved Cale from the start just like Max. I was completely unaware of it though, just like I'd been with her. I'd grown up with love, spent my first sixteen years in a happy family. I should have been able to recognize it, but after my parents, the Pulse….I don't know, all I know is the awareness of my love for her, much like my love for him crept up on me, until the thought of losing them overwhelmed me. Maybe that's the other thing family is, permanence, family is forever. Forever love.

"I really hate my hair"

He jumped as she spoke over his shoulder looking at the picture.

"Sorry" she laughed

He shook his head, "It's fine, gotta get used to it again." That or tie a bell around her neck, how many times had he thought about that.

He took in the sight of her before him, wearing his clothes, not for the first time. In the past though at his old place she'd crashed in his boxers and a tee-shirt. These days were different though, after her shower she'd put on a pair of gray drawstring pants and had them rolled several times at the bottom, socks that he guessed reached almost to her knees. She had on a white long sleeved cotton shirt that was also cuffed several times and fell almost to her knees, underneath it he knew she still wore one of the two white tanks she'd had layered on today. He'd seen the remaining shirt and her jeans folded in the room across from his own where they'd put down Cale deciding it was too late for her to go back to Terminal City, that and they hadn't wanted to leave each other, but they didn't say that, they never did.

She was lucky she was transgenic and the heat didn't bother her because although it had greatly cooled from the day it was still hot. The fans Logan had blowing around the room weren't doing much to keep him cool in the water-proof pants he'd donned after his shower, like the jacket she would always rest her cheek upon, they didn't fear the virus getting through the virtually impermeable material.

She moved over to the couch and smiled at him as she picked up the remote turning on the tv. She rotated her shoulder as he turned off the computer. "Your shoulder still bothering you?" he asked

"It's a little stiff" she said reluctantly, shrugging it down. "Tell Alec and I'll hurt you."

Logan laughed as he walked over to her, she and Alec had decided to have another fight; it wasn't their first since moving into Terminal City. Logan hadn't fully figured out the cause of their actions yet, some sibling rivalry, trying to always best the other, they did seem to have fun though, in a slightly disturbed, sadistic way. He was definitely glad they were getting out of there soon. "Here let me" he said sitting down awkwardly on the couch next to her, one leg bent across the couch, the other on the floor so he was sitting almost sideways, she shifted herself so her back was to him.

She ordered herself to breathe as she felt his hands start to encompass her shoulder. Logan had done this in the past, attempted to ease her strained muscles. It had always resulted in her pulling away before he was done though, unable to understand the flood of emotions that would open within her.

"Max"

"Hmm?"

"Relax" he laughed

That had happened a lot too, she softly laughed, "Sorry." Max's body relaxed as Logan's hands moved around her injured shoulder.

"You and Alec are going to kill each other one of these days."

"He needed to be put in his place." she said with a smirk

"You sure you don't like him? Hitting was a very big sign of affection on the playground."

"Ugh" he groaned mostly as a joke as her elbow slightly connected with his ribs. "I'll take it that was a no about Alec" he laughed and moved his hands back up to her body.

"That shoulder is fine Logan" she said with a soft smile as his hands eventually trailed across her back to the other side.

"Only half of you can't be relaxed Max"

"Why do you always call me Max?" she asked from her slightly bent over and highly relaxed form. She was relaxed, relaxed in a way….Hmm she couldn't remember, had to have been before she met Logan though.

"It's your name." he offered

"You don't do nicknames."

"I've called you plenty of other things besides your name." a grin tugged up the corner of his lips.

She smiled; they'd both called each other longer names, descriptions of who they were, but not nicknames. "You know what I mean"

"Your name is you, it's special. Nicknames are common and there's nothing common about you." He'd used nicknames, 'terms of affection' for dozens of women, lovers and friends, her name though….

"Hmm" she said with a small smile, "Good answer."

He softly chuckled as his hands moved down to her lower back.

She groaned and arched back, not working with his hands at all.

"Getting a little stiff from sleeping on the floor." he asked, eyebrows raised.

She smiled as she rounded over again, "I gotta admit it'll be nice to be back in my bed again."

His hands stayed on her for awhile, both of them ignoring the tv on in the background, her eyes fluttered open and closed.

A finger eventually traced along her arm and she smiled again, " Logan"

"Max?"

The smile continued, "Nothing, just Logan"

He chuckled softly and turned her around to face him, her relaxed state so very obvious in her face; it looked like she'd just been awakened. He traced a finger along her jaw and let it briefly glide across her lips before it trailed down to her neck.

She forgot about the virus for only an instant and she wondered as the green and brown connected if he was going to kiss her. She groaned as she remembered that wasn't possible.

His lips raised in a smile in response to her groan then he brought the palm of her hand up to his lips and kissed the latex. Their eyes remained locked and she felt every sensation his lips created, the latex did nothing to distort the feelings, whether it was the months without real touch or the sensitivity of her senses…. "God you're beautiful" he said raising his hand back up to her face, her head tilted back on instinct, her body expecting lips to caress her. He ran his fingers over her neck once more.

She raised her head forward again to ask what the were doing, but she lost her words as their eyes reconnected. The last time they'd kissed had been almost a year ago… " Logan" she whispered, her voice almost a whimper, she missed him so bad…

He placed a hand on her back and he raised himself up as he lowered her down, careful to keep their body contact to a minimum…there was no way to guarantee exactly how much they could get away with. His eyes were over her, staring intensely into hers before his head disappeared. With her head titled back he softly kissed the area between her shoulder and collarbone where he knew two layers of clothing existed, his lips were dry there was nothing to speed along the virus's transmission.

" Logan" she whispered softly, but didn't raise her head for fear of knocking their heads together.

He raised over her again, one hand propped on the side of the couch, the other on the top of the couch, keeping them separated, "Zen will be home within an hour I swear."

She swallowed hard because she knew what that meant, if anything happened Zen would be home in plenty of time to save him. She nodded. Only with Logan could something so unnatural feel so right. "The floor" she whispered, the floor would provide less contact, though less contact was the last thing she wanted.

He smiled as he raised her back up and raised himself off the couch, holding onto her hand and smiled down as she lowered herself to the floor and slightly tugged him forward. He lay on the side of her at first, gently raining kisses across her body and trailing a hand across the other side, her face and lips. He moved over her and started to raise the hem of her shirt.

She pushed aside the fear that suddenly entered her mind, Logan wasn't stupid, she had to trust in that and raised her arms up for him to pull the garment free. He slightly smiled down at her body in appreciation, his hands replaced his lips and he used the ribs of her shirt to work with them. Her breath grew more shallow and rapid as his hands moved over her and then under her shirt. She started to wonder if Cindy knew anyone who could make that latex suit she'd talked of…Original Cindy knew everyone.

He moved up again on her side, his eyes which had grown shades darker looked into hers. She caught her breath as she realized a hand was on the drawstring of the pants. What Logan had planned was suddenly so very clear. A noise, not one from the tv startled her, pulled her out of the haze he'd created for her. "What's wrong?" he asked his own breath slightly rapid.

"Someone's outside" she said as she released a ragged breath.

He quickly raised himself away from her and extended a hand to help her up, not that she'd needed it, but certain things within Logan were programmed deep and she kinda liked them. She tucked her feet under her on the couch and turned her attention to the tv. Logan retreated behind his desk.

"Hey Logan" Zen called out just before he reached the doorway.

Logan cursed inwardly for yet another reason besides being interrupted; he didn't want Zen to wake Cale.

"Oh hey Max" the other man said slightly surprised to see her there.

"Hey Zen" she said smiling and standing, hoping the X-5 wouldn't see how shaky her legs were. "I'm gonna head up to bed. Night guys."

"Night Max" they both replied.

Zen kept one eye trained on Max as she disappeared out of sight and when he finally heard the click of her door above them he tuned to Logan. "Did I miss something man?"

Logan leaned back in the seat, rubbed a hand over the back of his head and groaned.

Yea okay so once more, don't know about this chapter. Damn 40 days and 40 nights and that feather scene for creeping into my thoughts as I'm trying to plan an intimate near kiss moment (that and all of my laughter over first Logan in a full body latex suit and then seeing his face through a giant condom...I'm so glad I amuse myself). Also trying to figure out what the hell would keep it at PG-13...I have no idea what the hell that rating means.