Chapter Two - You are a Pirate
"Our 'leaders', Kurloz and Gamzee Makara are hardly worthy of such noble titles. It is astounding to believe our great realm has fallen under the influence of such tyrants. They persecute the lower classes both passively and actively; they will let the lower classes starve as they ensure the castle is stocked full of food, and will not hesitate to order a lower class citizen to do dangerous jobs that should be left up to Knights such as my brother. They care only for their personal interest, and they are not rulers. Although I have no official power over the people of my realm, I rule more often and more effectively than both of these oppressors."
Someone had fucked up and let Kankri explain the revolution plans. What an idiot that person was.
Karkat quickly rescued the situation, taking over.
"We all get the fucking picture. They're shitheads and you're fucking great because this revolution was your idea, and we should all just follow your orders. That's fucking great Kankri."
"I find that highly offensive -"
Karkat cut across Kankri once again, continuing talking to their audience despite Kankri's impertinent yapping.
"The Knights of Southern Prospit have all got together, spreading the word around the lower classes, telling those we know we can trust about the very early beginnings of this revolution. Of course, everyone's been for it; only fucking masochists wouldn't be. We Knights effectively have a whole realm's worth of citizens on our side, however, that isn't fucking enough. Due to the fact this revolution has occurred because they're being oppressed, they're not exactly well equipped. This is where you all come in."
Kankri looked about ready to explode as he tried to take over again, however Kanaya stood this time.
"Here we have gathered two leaders and four guardians. You are all in very powerful positions; positions that are very valuable to us. We call you here as, with yours and your people's help, we believe we can overthrow our current leaders, and have a better future, not only for our realm, but also for other realms."
Dave was first to speak. "So what, you want us to behead the clowns?"
Kanaya looked very tempted to agree to that.
Karkat answered instead. "No, it's not that simple. As you all know, the biggest threat for people at the minute are pirates, because we have no fucking clue how many of them there are. What we do know, however, is Miss Queen Pirate at the minute is Vriska Serket. Aranea Serket, Vriska's sister, is currently in a very high position in Southern Prospit's class system; she's third in command. Aranea is unpredictable and although she seems to be friendly enough, she could be working for the Makaras, she could be on the side of the pirates, she could be totally independent from both. She could be any combination of any weird alliance. She's a fucking wildcard that we can't risk getting involved. " Karkat explained, sounding a little exasperated as Kankri enthusiastically took over.
"So really what he's trying to say, but phrasing in such an atrociously distasteful way, is that if we charge in there without a plan, we may indeed all be in a deep predicament that could cause a... hitch in our mission. Namely death, to put it bluntly. We have developed the beginnings of a plan to get around this, though it is nowhere near completed."
"What is the plan?" John asked. Karkat quickly answered.
"When it's Spring and our turn to host the ball is when it'll happen. What 'it' is, we don't fucking know, only that it's some form of revolt, but as long as nothing happens in the time being, that's a perfect opportunity to strike."
Everyone paused for a moment, no one having anything to say.
"And that's everything," Karkat concluded, sitting down. Kankri looked like that certainly wasn't everything, but Porrim's harsh glare kept him quiet.
"What's in it for us?" Eridan asked. Feferi hit his arm, frowning at him for his self-absorbed question. "Well don't look at me like that! This isn't a matter of us helping out a friend who's in a bit of trouble. We have citizen's lives at risk here."
"Like you care about the citizens," Sollux scoffed.
"What is your fuckin' problem with me!?" Eridan spluttered, "perhaps that isn't my primary objective to preserve the lives of our lower bloods, but it's still a fuckin' fact that some people will die if we help them! What are we to gain, as a realm, for that price?"
"He has a point," Rose piped up from the other side of the table, looking up from her book. "He phrased it awfully, and it's hardly comprehendible through that stupid accent of his, but he does indeed raise an interesting and important issue."
Everyone looked at Karkat and Kankri expectantly.
"You will get..." Karkat frowned, thinking as quickly as he could, "an alliance with a fucking great realm?"
"That's as weak as Kankri's immunity to slightly triggering issues," John grinned.
"Shut it Egbert. Look, we might not have anything to offer directly, but this is beneficial, and is so to many people! Just because we're not handing you over a bag of gold and giving you a big pat on the back and saying 'well fucking done, you did a great job beheading that tyrant right there' does not mean that this is pointless to all of you. If this is successful, you get more trade, more resources, more taxes, more citizens. Fuck, if we all worked together we could probably start exploring what's beyond our tiny island."
There was muttering in the crowd. Nepeta and Equius were first to speak.
"You have the alliance of the forest citizens and the centaurs," Equius said. "That it, if you will stop reducing our habitat once you are in power."
Karkat nodded, "we intended to do that."
John spoke next, "all four of us guardians agree that you have our help. There's only things to be gained here, and maybe we can even get rid of the pirates in the process of this revolution."
Dirk then spoke. "Seeing as we're in a strong alliance with North Prospit, if they're in, then we are too. You have all of our knights at your disposal, though I trust you won't be careless with their lives. Roxy is also very good at going under cover, so you have her services too."
"I'm like Robin Hood!" Roxy said, smiling widely.
There was still some commotion over with Eridan, Feferi and Sollux.
"Eridan we should help them!"
"No, Fef, pirates are involved in this, and considering you live in water, I don't think it's a fuckin' brilliant idea to attract their attention and practically hand them over a pre-kidnapped princess. Also it doesn't really go hand-in-hand with the whole "take-over-the-rest-of-the-island" plan we had goin' on a while ago."
"That was never a plan, Eridan! You just thought it was because you're power-obsessed!"
"Look, Fef, even if we do give them a hand, we don't have any fuckin' knights! We got me, and I guess we got Cronus, but that's about fuckin' it on the fighting front. Apart from the low bloods but we ain't classin' them."
"I swear Eridan I have had it up to here with you," Feferi glared at him.
"As much as I fucking hate to agree with such a bastard, he has a point," Sollux said. "We don't have a lot to offer as a region; we have the smallest population. And also a lot more of our people are accustomed to the persecution of the lower classes, so will probably have no incentive to rebel." Sollux frowned. He hated Eridan being right.
Feferi chewed uneasily on her lip.
"They have two large kingdoms on their side already," Sollux added.
That seemed to totally convince Feferi, "I'm sorry, but it doesn't look like we're in a position to help you at the moment."
Karkat frowned, but nodded curtly. "I get it. I did hear your entire fucking conversation, after all."
Before anyone could say anything more on the matter, the door flung open, clashing against the wall and echoing noisily around the room. Many members gasped; was their talk of revolution rumbled by an enemy's interference this early on?
"Who the fuck thought it'd be a good idea to start this revolution thing without me? 'Cuz I swear, I'll cull 'em with my fork."
There in the doorway, brandishing her incredibly large culling fork and clad in pirate getup was Meenah Peixes. Meenah ignored the rumbles of commotion coming from where Eridan and Feferi were sitting, and continued with her... dramatic introduction.
"No need to give me the low down on your shit, I already asked a maid who told me everything I need to know. You better fix that problem, by the way; what if they'd told an enemy all the details? But there is a reason why I am so fashionably late. I got the lowdown on the pirate situation."
More mumbles broke out now, Karkat was a little disoriented by everything that was going on, so shut the door and screamed for everyone to shut up. Once Meenah was sitting down, she began her tale.
"So we all know that a few years ago I abdicated, right? Gave the throne to my lil' sis', because fuck I don't want that position. So I run off, go explore, be a bit of a Thief, y'know? Then I get myself on board a pirate ship; a fucking Serket pirate ship. Been on that vessel for what, six months? And damn we're kinda fucked on the pirate front. There's loads of 'em. I mean at least half of the land population. But you see, you can't trust none of them. Even people on land that you're convinced are definitely not pirates are indeed fucking pirates. Serket already knows about the stirrings of your revolution; some lower class maid told her or something. That's why I'm here now; Vriska told me, and I pretended to come over here to spy on you guys, but I ain't goin' back on that ship, you can believe me."
"How do we know that you're not just double crossing up?" Eridan frowned.
"You don't," Meenah shrugged, "there's no way I can prove it. But if I were workin' for them, would I be tellin' you all this?"
"It could be false information," Dirk interjected.
"But it's realistic. We all knew there was an issue with pirates for a while now," Jade retorted.
"Yeah, listen to the one in green, she knows what she's on about. Look I don't even really wanna be involved in this, I just came to give you a heads up about pirates. I don't want no part in the actual revolution shit."
"Thanks for your wonderfully unreliable evidence," said Karkat.
"No probs," Meenah got to her feet. "Peixes out. Seeya suckas."
Breathtaking was the best way to describe Southern Prospit's coastal line. The beaches were clear and nearly totally natural; some rocky, some sandy, and some were just cliffs. They were as vast as they were impressive, and caves were a common occurrence in these areas. There were so many caves, in fact, and all of them so vast, that they had yet to all be mapped out. People were still stumbling across new ones.
Which of course made them perfect places for pirates. How would anyone find your smugglers market if no one could even find the cave your smuggler's market was in?
Vriska Serket had been the first to discover the handiness of said caves. This had then given her a massive advantage over other pirates, setting her leagues ahead. Since then she'd continued to climb the rigging to success in her dark "career" choice, giving the Serket name a wonderful reputation. Upon hearing the name many claimed to feel both fear and loathing. Vriska quite liked being the cause of such negative emotions by the simple mention of her name.
Vriska sat on the rocks, fiddling with her compass and looking out into the waves. The instrument informed her she was indeed heading the correct direction to reach her destination, and looking at the size of the rocks... yes, she must be nearly there. She climbed to her feet, kicking a pebble off the rock and into the ocean below. She turned, leaping down and strode across the rocky terrain, unfazed by the uneven ground.
There they were; the Drakontos Caves.
Vriska took a stray piece of driftwood from the rocky ground, walking over to the entrance to the largest of the many caves. There on the wall was a single torch, there like it always was. Vriska lit her piece of driftwood, holding it up high as she made her way through the dark caves.
"No point in hiding in the dark, Neophyte," Vriska said, a slight sneer in her voice.
"Or perhaps you're just lost, Marquise?" A voice replied, though Vriska wasn't sure of its source. It seemed to be... everywhere.
"Lost?" Vriska cackled, "please, I come here all too often to get lost. Got to check up on you and your little reptiles, haven't I?"
"You're taking a lot longer than you usually do," the voice replied, sounding smug. "You sure you haven't taken a wrong turn? These caves are incredibly dark, you know."
Vriska turned a corner, walking into a larger cave 'corridor', which then opened out into a large, bright open space. There were no rocks forming a ceiling now, leaving the top of the cave open to the bright sky. Pools of water trickled around the cave randomly, little waterfalls forming here and there. Some brave plants had even begun trying desperately to poke through the rocks.
Though the clearing was nothing in comparison to it's inhabitants.
In the centre of the clearing lay a colossal beast. It's scales reflected the light, casting rainbow shadows to be cast on the rocky walls. Steadily it's powerful chest moved as it breathed peacefully, obviously asleep. It's claws were nearly as large as Vriska alone. Certainly one of the more impressive dragons that Vriska had seen.
Around the colossal dragon lay smaller dragons. Not small in comparison to your average person, but certainly small in comparison to the giant of a reptile that stole the limelight. There must be at least one hundred dragons in the entire cave, after all, some were no bigger than your smallest pixie.
Atop of the dragon pile-on sat Terezi Pyrope. Just who Vriska wanted to see.
"Told you I wasn't lost," Vriska smirked. "I see you've added to your collection?"
Terezi raised an eyebrow, "you counting how many dragons I have?"
"Well," Vriska raised an eyebrow, stepping over a sleeping cat-sized dragon at her feet, "that monstrosity wasn't here last time I visited." She gestured over to the colossal dragon that Terezi was sitting on.
"He flew over from someplace beyond our island. I have no idea where but he was pretty badly injured. I guess that means there's probably even bigger ones outside the shelter of this tiny land mass." Terezi said, but then changed her tone completely, turning it to one of loathing. "What do you want, Serket?"
"Oh, nothing really," Vriska smirked, pretending to examine a rock knowing full well Terezi wouldn't bite her apathetic facade. "Unless of course, you want to help out in a little... Revolution."
Terezi scoffed, "revolution? Why would I be bothered with such pointless shit?"
"Oh this isn't just any revolution, Neophyte. It's against your beloved kismeises."
Terezi frowned, "Makara?"
Vriska smirked, waiting.
"Tell me more."
"Oh how predictable you are, Terezi. I'm almost disappointed you cracked so easily."
"Shut up and talk, pirate. I can wake the big guy up at any point," Terezi snarled.
"No need to be hasty, all in good time," Vriska cleared her throat. "Your beloved leaders of Southern Prospit are, of course, not as beloved as they're cracked up to be. Turns out pretty much everyone's fed up of their shit, especially Mr Grumpy head-knight."
"Karkat?" Terezi cut across almost frantically.
Vriska raised an eyebrow, "but of course. You seem overly concerned, Neophyte, feeling a little... flushed perhaps?"
Terezi snarled and threatened to wake the dragon. Vriska panicked a little at this, as Terezi was incredibly skilled in her bluffs, and the last thing Vriska wanted was to be chased through dark caves by a massive reptile.
"Seems the four in charge are Karkat and his brother, your older sister, and Kanaya. I've even heard they're asking for help from the other realms too. They've got a pretty powerful army going on," Vriska said. "Of course, as a pirate it is in my best interests to overthrow our monarchs."
Scoffing, Terezi frowned. "Yes, but you'd wait until everyone else had done the hard work of actually overthrowing them, and then jump in and take the glory for yourself; declare that you are now Pirate Queen of Southern Prospit. Don't think you'll fool me."
Vriska laughed lightly, "you're so quick to jump to the negative conclusion, Terezi. Perhaps I had a different outcome in mind?"
"Perhaps. But I know that you don't do things unless they'll personally benefit you and your plans, and I know I certainly don't want to help your fucked up plans."
"Terezi, you really are too boring," Vriska shrugged, "how would I, a lone pirate on these oceans, stand a chance against nearly Skaia's entire land population? I'm good, but surely you don't think that highly of me?"
"I know very well that you stand no chance against even half of Skaia's new forming army. But I also know that 'sly' doesn't even begin to describe your way of doing things. Why get me involved if it doesn't benefit you?"
"Who said it benefitted me? Perhaps I'm bored, I just want to make things a little more interesting?"
"If you wanted 'more interesting' then you'd be going to slay the Makaras yourself. There's more to this than that."
Vriska frowned. "There's no way I'm going to be able to convince you, I suppose. Though are you really satisfied?"
"What? Since when were you concerned with my general satisfaction of life?"
"Spending all this time here in a cave full of dragons, refusing to come out. Anyone would think you were sulking, Terezi."
Terezi snarled, "I find comfort here. I hate living in the castle. Everyone is living under a massive pretence that isn't fooling anyone. The tension reeks."
"Sure it's not more to do with your little black-rom with the Bard?"
Terezi snapped her fingers. The dragon underneath her stirred, growing in his sleep before one eye opened slowly. It found Vriska, never once breaking her gaze. Holy shit that dragon was big.
"Fine, fine, I get it; you're touchy, I won't bring it up!" Vriska said hurriedly. The dragon's breathing became slower again, though his eye stayed open. "But don't you think this is your perfect chance? To get a bit of revenge on that clown? Surely there must be a single bone in your sullen body that aches for a slice of vengeance. This could be your chance, Terezi. Get it over with; be the one to slay your patriarchy. Then you can let it all go; leave these morose caves and get back to your life."
Terezi let out a shrill laugh. "I have to hand it to you, Vriska, you're a persuasive talker! No wonder you're such a skilled pirate, you probably just convince your victims that they want to let you steal their loot. They don't call you Mindfang for nothing! But I assure you. I am not so easily fooled. The day I succumb to your smarmy persuasive techniques is the day I make a noose to fit my neck perfectly. I'm not leaving these caves, I do not intend to seek revenge on the Makaras, and nothing - nothing, is ever going to make me help you."
Vriska cackled in return, "well, Terezi, I can assure you, I didn't come here today because I needed your help. Not only can I manage perfectly fine on my own, I think I work better on my own. I figured I'd give you a heads up before the big games begin. It's your loss."
Turning to leave, Vriska said on her way out, "though, I did lie about one thing. I'll be able to take on this island. All of the armies of Skaia could take me on at once and they wouldn't lay a finger on me. Know why? Luck is everything in a battle, and oh, how wonderful it is that I am in control of luck." Vriska laughed, almost madly as she exited the clearing, making her way through the caves. "Have a nice life, Terezi. You never know, maybe an extra large wave will hit these pitiful caves and drown you and your pathetic dragons."
There was a reptilian roar, though Vriska paid no worry to it. She was out of the caves now and making her way towards her docked boat. She had bigger fish to fry, as it were.
With a fleeting leap, she caught hold of the rigging, climbing aboard her vessel, yanking up the anchor and away she sailed. The wind was powerful today. How lucky.
Vriska docked her ship just outside the official ports of Southern Derse. After all she didn't want anyone snooping about on her mighty vessel after all. There were valuable things in that boat.
The walk up to the castle of StakkFisk Castle was indeed a long one. Vriska didn't feel up for walking, so she nimbly hopped onto the back of a passing horse and cart, the unsuspecting driver continuing regardless of the pirate hitching a ride.
A glance up at the sun's position told Vriska that Prince Eridan and Princess Feferi should still be on their way back from the dance up in Northern Prospit. Good. This was a perfect opportunity.
She hopped off the back of the cart a few minutes later, landing right outside the tavern she needed to be in. It was one of the roughest places in town, but the people inside owed Vriska a few favours. She knew she could talk safely in here.
Stepping inside, Vriska was met with enough smoke to make you want to cough your brains out, accompanied with the... delightful stench of bitter alcohol, and body odour swiftly following it. The tavern was dark spare from a few candles at each table, giving only enough light as neccessary. This place simply oozed with suspicion.
Good job Vriska fit right in. She tapped the counter, ordering for a whiskey be sent to her table immediately. She strode over to a table with two figures already sat at it, and claimed the third, empty chair.
"Evening," she said, tipping the peak of her tricorne at the two.
Sat at the table were two of the only people Vriska had ever collaborated with. The first was Sollux Captor. Known for his high ranking position in the castle and closeness to the Princess, Sollux was a vital part of Vriska's plan. Whether she could trust him or not was another thing. It almost seemed like the guy had two personalities; one that wanted rebellion and one that wanted order.
"I see that you managed to escape the dreaded ball in time, Sollux?" Vriska cackled, grabbing the rum that a waitress brought over.
He frowned, unamused. "I did. But not before I stole Eridan's only chance at dancing with Feferi."
Vriska snorted, clapping, "I like it! You should do stuff like that more."
"Oh trust me, I have many things lined up for Ampora."
The second sat at the table was Aradia Megido. Though she wasn't socially higher than Sollux in any way as a mere maid, she did have a unique set of privileges due to this job. For instance, say if the objective of their plan was to destroy all of the clothes in the castle, forcing everyone to go around naked, well, Aradia and her maid status made this a very possible task for her.
Of course, de-clothing the castle was not Vriska's primary objective.
"Sollux and I have ensured we've done everything as you've asked," Aradia said. "I assure you've kept your part of the bargain."
"I don't know why you doubt me," Vriska said. "I cheat people that deserve to be cheated. If I've made a bargain, I'll stick to my part... Usually." She cackled, reaching into the pocket of her coat and bringing out two little bags, thrusting each at the pair, who caught them quickly.
They double checked the contents. Inside, of course, were numerous gold coins.
"Go ahead and bite them, I assure you they're as real as they come," Vriska took a deep drink.
After ensuring the gold was indeed the real deal, Aradia and Sollux seemed satisfied.
"What do you want us to do next, then?" Sollux asked.
"It's very simple, my dear subordinates," Vriska clapped her hands together. "I want you to wait. Just wait. Until winter, that is. That is when our real plan will begin. Sollux, I need you to carry on building that bond you got going on with the Princess. Aradia, record everything you can about the routine of the castle. Just keep a journal or something, record what time anyone does anything; Eats, sleeps, dies, I don't know. Anything that's useful. Are we clear?"
There were two hums of agreement.
"We're being paid the same as last time, yes?" Aradia checked.
"Yes, if you do your jobs correctly," Vriska said, draining her glass, slamming it down on the table. "If everything goes to plan, which it will, by Christmas we should have the perfect bargaining chip of Feferi Pixies."
A/N
Shameless LazyTown references in the chapter title there.
Quite short but ay after this, things are getting started!
Thank you for any lovely feedback!