Bella:
All that you desired, when you were a child
Was to be old, was to be old
Now that you are here, suddenly you fear
You've lost that child
Do you like the person you've become, or…
I excuse myself to clean up in Riley's bathroom, though I still feel dirty and used. I assess my appearance in his large mirror, noticing most of my chest being covered in dark, purple, horrible bruises. My hands rest on my stomach of their own accord, which is bruise free. How long it will remain that way is uncertain.
When I walk back out to Riley's bedroom, he's propped himself up on his bed, though he's still naked. I quickly grab my clothes and get dressed, wanting to be out of there.
"What are you doing?" Riley queries.
"I know you're not the brightest, but I'm doing a thing called getting dressed," I tell him slowly.
"What if I said I wasn't done with you yet?" he asks, walking over to me. I back away from him.
"What if I said fuck you?" I reply, grabbing my bag and making my exit.
"I'd tell everyone your dirty little secret," Riley seethes, following me down the stairs.
"Hate to break it to you, but it's your secret too. You're the daddy!" I tell him in a high pitched voice, hoping to piss him off.
"What about your parents?" Riley asks, ignoring my comment. "Wait…you're…you're actually going to keep the thing, aren't you? Is that why you didn't get the pill?" Riley adds, suddenly having an unusual brain wave.
I roll my eyes.
"I was grounded, and I forgot. I couldn't get the pill."
I leave quickly before he can say anything else, and begin walking back to school. The cool air helps to clear my brain, which is still slightly off from the spliff and vodka.
I place my hands once again on my stomach, hoping I haven't caused too much damage. I'm keeping my baby, no matter what anyone and everyone says. He or she may not have been created with love, but the thought of having someone who loves me is too much to just throw away. I'm being selfish for once. Everyone's selfish at some point in their life, aren't they?
From now on, no more smoking, drinking or drug taking.
On the way back to school I pass a pharmacy, so I head inside and go to the pregnancy section. I pick up the cheapest pregnancy test, and use the rest of my lunch money to buy it.
"Um, do you have a toilet I could use?" I ask the sales assistant. By the look on her face she can tell I'm young and wanting to check straight away.
"Sure, just through here," she smiles kindly as she leads me to the restroom.
I read the instructions and do as they say, before waiting the three minutes. At the end, when I look at the stick, I see the result I'd been expecting and knew all along.
Positive.
I'm pregnant.
"Are you ok?" the woman asks when I come out of the restroom, tears on my face.
"I'm fine," I smile weakly at her. "Thanks," I mumble as I quickly exit the shop and run all the way back to school.
I jump straight into my truck and drive home, not caring that I should still be at school. My parents mentioned something about going out today, so when I get home it's to an empty house. A welcome relief.
I head straight to my room and begin packing my belongings. I have a feeling I know how the conversation about my pregnancy will go.
I stuff some of my warmer clothes into a suitcase, along with a couple of books. I take the one picture I have of my parents, from my eighth birthday. Back then, we were a happy family. I move to the bathroom and take a quick shower, and then put all my make-up and shower products into the suitcase.
I take the suitcase downstairs and out to my truck, and put it in the small area behind the seats, inside the car. I make sure it's hidden, under an old blanket, so that Mum or Dad don't notice it when they return home, and go back inside.
I go into the kitchen and grab a bag, then put some non-perishable food items into it, and put that out in my truck. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm actually going to run away from home.
Well, I'm about to be kicked out, but at least I'm somewhat prepared…
Finally, I venture into my parent's room, and to the bottom of their wardrobe. I know a secret stash of money is kept here, so I grab $50, and stuff it into my school bag, before returning to my own room.
Usually, I'd make them dinner, but screw that.
I eat some fruit and other food we have, making the most of it. I'm jittery with anticipation, waiting for my parents to come home. For once, I'm actually waiting for them. To tell them to fuck off, to tell them what I really think about them.
"Isabella! Why the fuck can't I smell any food cooking?" Dad shouts up the stairs.
I jump, but shove all my school work in my rucksack and sling it over my back as I run downstairs.
"Because I haven't made any," I reply, smiling sweetly.
My statement is greeted with a slap, Mum busying herself with other things so she can pretend her husband isn't beating up her daughter.
As Dad is about to punch my stomach, I shriek out, "Don't!"
Dad glares at me for daring to go against him. "Why the hell not?" Dad shouts in my face.
"I'm pregnant!" I blurt out.
Dad's face goes red, while Mum's eyes flash to mine. That's the first time she's looked at me in years. I'm surprised she knows who I am.
"I'm sorry, what the fuck did you just say? Are you just saying this to cover up the fact I received a call from school twice today," Dad seethes. "Firstly, to tell me my daughter was shouting rude things across the parking lot, and then secondly to tell me you'd skipped the last two lessons. What was that for, to fuck your boyfriend?" Dad asks.
"I said; I'm pregnant. Here's the proof." I hand Dad the positive pregnancy test. "And I don't have a boyfriend," I tell him, hoping to remain firm.
"You slut!" Dad shouts, stalking towards me.
I back away from him, and eventually feel the door against my back.
"You are no child of mine! I don't want to be associated with the town slut. Get out of my house and don't you fucking dare come back!" Dad shouts at me.
"Gladly!" I shout before quickly making my departure.
I turn around and wrench the door open, and run out to my car. I unlock it and chuck in my bag and quickly make an exit before they realise I took food, money, and all the belongings I want to keep.
I drive around the area a few times, not really knowing what to do or where to go. Eventually, I head to the local supermarket, and park in the parking lot. It's a well-lit area, so I'm not too worried.
I grab my school books and do homework, since now I need to do well in school to support me and my baby. And I need to get a job.
How did I ever think I could survive with a baby and without my parents?
A/N: Thoughts on Bella running away/being kicked out? :O
Review please :)
Lyrics: Weight of Living Part 2 by Bastille