Chapter 54

Hopes and Dreams

February 7th ( Logan's House):

"What?" he said not even looking up from the monitor feeling her eyes upon him.

"What what?" Max asked from the floor where she was playing with Cale.

"Why were you looking at me like that?" he smiled turning, he wasn't as oblivious working as she always thought he was.

Her face softened and their eyes connected, "It's been a year since the transfusion."

A year since the last time we touched, the thought ran through both of their heads at that moment and they both looked away quickly.

"I thought we were skipping this anniversary?" He replied with his eyes focused on the computer ahead of him, his fingers moving over the keyboard, if the words that were appearing on the screen made any sense he had no idea, but they were appearing.

"No I mean your legs have been fine for a year." That's where she'd been going with this whole thing, watching him push back in his chair with them, watching him stand to grab papers, pacing on the phone. His strong and steady legs.

He gave her a look.

"I know you don't want to know, but I mean a year Logan." She'd asked him over the year to go talk to Bev, he'd always said it wasn't necessary that they'd know one way or another eventually, nothing would change that.

"Probably just means it's coming to an end soon." He had been waiting, waiting since they'd come back to him. Wondering if they were for real or not, wondering if he could get attached to his own legs again. Sam had warned him not to, so he had taken them for what they were a gift that he didn't know how long he'd have. Every time one would fall asleep he'd wonder if it was the end. Every time his legs would feel weaker than normal at the end of a run he'd wonder if he'd even be able to walk the next day.

"Or it means you're fine," she pointed out. "A year is a long time Logan. Don't you just want to know one way or another?"

He shook his head and tried to return his focus to the screen, "Not really, no."

"What are you so afraid of Logan?" She asked gently partly because of everything that was still slightly off between then and partly because she remembered who he had been in the past and what his legs had meant to him then, "You keep telling me you're going to end up back in that chair, go to Bev, let her tell you what's going on."

He paused and looked at her, not really knowing what it was he wanted to say, "There's still hope this way Max." He shook his head, "When the hope is gone Max so are my dreams of me teaching Cale how to hit a baseball, how to play soccer... All those dreams, all those plans for the future they're gone. I mean I know they aren't going to happen, but I can still dream about them as long as I can keep my hope."

"That doesn't make it any easier." Her voice and expression were blank.

His head dropped away as he realized it hadn't only been his legs he was really talking about.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

February 10th:

Ease had returned in full, ease with heartbroken looks on the rare occasion that hadn't been meant to be caught by the other. He'd done what she suggested and saw Beverly, she'd wanted to come and he knew the reason why, in case it was bad news. He'd gone the day after she'd suggested it, now he was just waiting for the results. Right now though the only thing really on his mind was dinner, dinner with Max and Cale.

"Keep stirring" he smiled ordering Max as he handed her the wooden spoon as he went to go answer the ringing phone.

"Burn the sauce once and he never lets you forget it." She smiled over to Cale who was trying without success to open a cabinet, she didn't bother trying to stop him, she knew he'd give up in a few.

Logan smirked as he picked the phone off the counter, "Hello? Hi Beverly" He was listening without any change in his facial expression leaving her completely in the dark and trying not to stare. A loud siren suddenly filled the air from the toy that had distracted Cale away from the cabinet and they both grimaced. Logan raised up a finger to cover his uncovered ear, "Yea just hold on a second Bev, I can't hear you." He said as he made his way to the door. A pop from the sauce burning her skin through her sleeve snapped Max's attention away from the closed door and the words she couldn't hear because the siren still rang throughout the room.

He reentered the once more silent room a few minutes later with a somber look on his face.

She hated herself in that moment, why had she told him to have the tests? Hadn't she remembered what it had done to him the last time? " Logan I'm sorry"

He looked over at her confused "Why?"

"Didn't she say your body was fighting it or rejecting it? Or whatever it is your body does" It was slightly rambled, rushed as she was still cursing herself for being an idiot. Logan and his legs, she'd had 9 months of experience with them, she should have known better.

He shook his head, shock present in his voice, "No, she said that if she hadn't known there had been any damage she wouldn't have been able to tell. Joshua's cell's became my own. My legs are…they're just like they were before."

The elation that wanted to surge through Max was halted by her confusion, "Then why do you look so sad."

He shook his head "It doesn't matter, they don't matter" he looked down at his legs "Not the tiniest bit. It's nice to know I can physically teach Cale things like soccer or hockey, but I mean, what the hell was the big deal."

She smiled handing over the spoon, "I have no idea."

He shook his head again as he stirred the sauce, "Me walking again was supposed to be a miracle right? We got the Manticore dummy prize."

A sad smile passed across Max's face "At least they gave us something, instead of just taking."

Suddenly there was a boom, the noise of Cale's bottom hitting the floor as he once more unsuccessfully tried yanking open the cabinet.

He froze watching as she snapped out of her melancholy state, laughing as she scooped their son into her arms, telling him that's what he got for not listening to her. Funny how much he actually owed to that hated place, he realized and smiled.

AN: Okay so the lack of fluff was definitely all me in these past two chapters. Wrote that first one in the middle of the night while I was trying to backup everything on my computer…Yea apparently I'm not a nice person at 3am. Kinda spread to the next chapter even though it was mostly finished, I swear to god before I touched it today it was all nice and sweet and caring. Logan really wasn't supposed to be so angry and I can't fix it, I think every time I touch it I make it worse. Now Babyangel as for making duplicates of the temporary fix, same rules apply as to in the show, virus mutates so it no longer works. Okay I think I'm gonna go banish myself to watch the Princess Bride or something else of high level fluff.