AN: I screwed myself over…I admit this. What like 60 chapters of you guys waiting for this…And I suck at these chapters. I'm a horrible horrible action person…Ugh I didn't even remember that until I actually got up to having to post this chapter. And 6'2 totally screws me, readjust my words in your mind.
Chapter 58
Mine
Max Voiceover-
12:23
Cale's been asleep for hours. Logan went off to his room a little before midnight
Logan
My Logan. He's finally actually going to be my Logan
Mine.
Mine and then I have to walk away.
I'm an idiot. If it feels like this now…
I love him. I don't know if I can do this.
The problem is I know I can't not.
Max picks up a wooden frame, of a little, very blonde, very tan Logan wearing a green and white baseball uniform and cap holding a bat and smiles at the little boy smiling out at her before putting it down.
No little kids with that exact eye color.
Even worse only one true night and morning together.
Spending the rest of my days wondering if I've forgotten what his kiss felt like.
The problem is I know I won't.
I can still feel his lips over mine as if it were yesterday.
If I didn't I wouldn't rethink my decisions all the time.
If I didn't remember what his lips felt like over the latex, through the shirt…
His hands skillfully moving across my body.
The look in his eyes as his hand lingered over the drawstring.
If I could forget all of that I could move on. If I could forget everything we could have, we should have.
If I could forget all of that I wouldn't be thinking of going to the fridge right now and starting our time together a little early.
The problem is with that, the sooner we start this, the sooner it's over.
She looks longingly towards the kitchen and then shakes her head.
Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
-o-o-o-o-
"Well look who finally decided to join us" Max said looking up grinning from where she and Cale were playing on the floor building a log cabin just a little taller than Cale's seated height.
"Daddy" Cale said standing and running to his father.
"Hey buddy" Logan said scooping him into his arms, "Did your Momma feed you?"
He nodded, "Nana an' cereal."
"Sounds yummy, any left?" He said walking over and moving behind the counter, he peeled the banana with his son still in his arms and started to eat. "Sorry I woke up late, tomorrow I'll make you guys pancakes."
"Pancakes" Cale clapped his hands
Max laughed, "No Cale, pancakes tomorrow, you just ate. Why are you up so late?" She'd been pacing around since 5 waiting for him to wake up and had resisted being a bad mother and waking Cale up to not only keep her company, but tire him out.
A slow grin spread across his face, "Sleeping pill last night."
She laughed as her entire body warmed, "Wanted to make sure you were rested up?"
"That was the plan." He finished off the banana in another bite, "I'm gonna go shower" he said dropping Cale back down to his feet.
"Don't forget to shave" she called out after him….Loving the stubble, but knowing it would get pretty annoying pretty quick even though it was pretty soft.
-o-o-o-o-
A few minutes later, she walked over to the fridge and took out the needle. She wondered if she should wait for Logan, but suddenly she couldn't wait anymore. Without a second thought, she guided the needle into the vein. 8 minutes the guy had said…8 minutes for it to run its course through her body and leave them protected. She smiled as she set the rooster timer, so out of place and low-class in the Cale family cabin.
"Hey you wanna watch a movie?" she asked walking over to her son.
His baby blue eyes grew brighter, "Bob?"
She laughed as she started flipping through Logan's cd book, "You got it."
-o-o-o-o-o-
She let herself into the bathroom as the shower was running. The beige and white bathroom, Logan had told her once that the cabin had been a lot more rustic before his mother had gotten her hands on it. She refused to do any type of roughing it and the bathroom reflected it. The marble vanity, the large sunken tub built for two…
The shower only feet away from her…With Logan inside of it.
Three minutes had been left on the timer as she'd left the room with the dvd set on repeat and Cale surrounded by toys, dropping the baby monitor on the nightstand before heading into the bathroom.
She lifted herself up onto the counter and waited.
She faintly heard the buzz of the timer thanks to the monitor in the other room, a few moments later the shower turned off ending her internal struggle of whether or not she should just slip in there with him. He emerged a few moments later with the beige towel wrapped low around his still glistening body. She didn't speak, she just openly admired, she'd never really gotten to do that before. She could now though, his broad chest, his strong arms, the defined abs, long active legs. Logan was in top physical form, he hadn't really had a choice, not with the threat of enemies always looming over them and the year he spent keeping his arms and abs in top shape in case his legs stopped again.
He suddenly realized she was in the room as he grabbed another towel to dry his hair, "Max."
She smiled, she loved how his eyes always connected with hers, he never wavered or showed any discomfort. He hadn't even when he was in the chair; it had taken her months to realize it was only bravado. "Almost three years and I've never caught you in only a towel before."
He smiled back as he remembered why the towel was in his hands, "That's because you normally don't enter the bathroom while I'm still in it." He replied as he toweled off his hair.
"Definitely a lack of good judgment on my part."
He smiled again as he draped the towel back over the bar. There was something about Max saying those words, the way her eyes showed her approval of his body, it canceled out all of the women in his past. Their words, their looks hadn't meant anything compared to hers. The shock of Max suddenly appearing in the room started to recede and he realized she wouldn't be looking at him like that if she'd come to tell him she wanted to back out, "Did you?"
She nodded.
There was an unsteady breath that he couldn't hide as he walked towards her. It didn't slow him down though. He was suddenly before her, looking down as she looked up, gazing into her eyes seeing the love, pain and fear that reflected his own. He ignored the last two, focused on the love, the love that had been present from the first moment their eyes had connected even though it had been masked as other things, attraction, lust, hell even just curiosity. It had been there though from that very first moment and all it had done in the three years since was grow to levels he couldn't have ever imagined… "I thought you wanted me to shave." He said as his fingers slipped into her hair, feeling the texture of the newly darkened locks, he realized it wasn't as soft as it had once been, probably from the year of bleaching. His fingers moved along the back of her head, just feeling and holding.
"You can shave later." His touch and nearness was making her heady, her words were soft, her mouth unable to remember how to close.
He leaned down and softly found her lips, tender and slow instead of their desperate kisses of the last time. Her hands found their way into his damp hair. "I love you" he whispered against her lips as things started to heat up and their kisses deepened.
"I love you too" she returned the words.
He groaned over her as they were already leaning back with her head resting against the mirror as her hands trailed down his body and her legs wrapped around the top of his pulling him closer to her, "Couldn't have waited five minutes until I was dressed?"
She smiled up and pulled him closer.
"Three years Max" he reminded and once more wished for the distraction and the delay his own clothing would have created.
She smiled again; she knew exactly what he meant and didn't care. Her hands disengaged from his body, found the hem of her gray tank and started to pull it up; he finished the job for her and his lips reclaimed hers. His hands tightened behind her as he pulled her close and off of the counter, she tightened her legs around his waist as he pulled her against him. They barely noticed the towel fall halfway towards the bed.