A/N: If you haven't already, check out my Christmas fic, 'Library Love'! :D
Bella:
Someone once said I don't have any feelings
Well, I think that emotions can be misleading and thinking back
I might have nailed the coffin shut with that
Throwing up is never pretty. Throwing up in a garage bathroom is easily ten times worse.
After wiping my mouth with some toilet paper, I flush the toilet and make my way over to the sinks. Esme hands me a bottle of water, her eyes filled with concern.
"Thanks," I mutter, drinking greedily from the bottle. This is the third time we've had to stop due to me having to throw up. I'm pretty sure the sickness isn't entirely down to my pregnancy, either.
"Bella, you don't have to do this. There's enough evidence to send him down even without your statement," Esme tells me, wrapping her arm around me.
"I have to do this. I have to see him get sent away, I need…closure," I reply, taking a final sip of the water. "I think I'm alright now," I tell Esme, rubbing my stomach as we leave the bathroom. "Do you have any mints?" I ask, conscious of my breath.
"We can get some," Esme says.
After a quick stop at the garage to buy mints and more water, we're back on the way to Seattle. Edward text me telling me he missed me and hoped everything went alright, which made me feel a bit better about the whole thing. Which also, thankfully, managed to keep my queasiness down for the remained of the journey.
I step out of the car and pull down my top, making sure it covers my stomach. My stomach has grown considerably over the past month and now, with three months to go, I'm weary of how much bigger I'm going to get.
Esme leads the way inside the courthouse, keeping close by to me. There's quite a few people milling around, since this case has gained headlines. It's not often the ex-chief of police ends up abusing his daughter.
"Bella!" A voice cries out, and then a woman comes rushing over.
"Nurse Lake!" I exclaim, wrapping my arms around her as best I can.
"You can call me Sally, I'm not working right now," she chuckles, pulling back and glancing at my stomach. "My, you've gotten big! You're around six months now, right? You're looking very healthy," Sally says, smiling.
"Thank you. For suggesting to go live with the Cullen's. They've been great," I tell her as a man walks over.
"I wondered where you'd run off to," he says, taking Sally's hand.
"Bella, this is my husband," Sally introduces. "Matt, this is Bella Swan and…oh my, Esme!" Sally exclaims.
Sally and Esme start chattering quickly, which I mostly tune out. I glance around the inside of the courthouse, noting how many people are here. I wonder how my mother's coping. I haven't heard anything from her since the police took her away from the house.
"I think it's really brave what you're doing," Matt, Sally's husband, says. I frown up at him. "None of us at the station have been brave enough to say anything and, well…"
"I'm a teenage girl," I finish for him.
"We're going to make sure that son of a bitch gets sent down for a long, long time, ok?" Matt says.
I grin. "Definitely."
"Language, Matt!" Sally sighs.
My grin increases a little bit.
*******SML*******
I shuffle around on the uncomfortable bench in the courtroom, fidgeting from nerves. Esme has her hand tightly clasped in mine, with Sally sitting on the other side of me.
Suddenly, the large doors open, and two guards walk my father in. I gasp as I look down at the man who abused me for years, fighting the urge to run down and strangle him.
My grip on Esme's hand has got to be painful, but she doesn't say anything.
After they go through the legal parts, my father stands in the witness box, a cold look of indifference of his face.
"You are charged with the assault of Isabella Marie Swan, over the course of 7 years," The judge begins, and then goes on to list all his other charges, which includes fraud while he was chief of police. I didn't know about that, though, unsurprisingly, it doesn't shock me.
*******SML*******
"Charles Swan, you are charged to 10 years imprisonment, with no bail," the judge declares. I sit there in shock, not sure how I'm supposed to feel. At one point, that man was my father. When I was younger, I used to look up to him, I used to feel safe around him.
Now, today, looking at the bored look on his face, it's like it suddenly hits me. My father is gone from me completely. He doesn't care about me or my well-being, and he doesn't care about my mother, either.
Being pregnant makes me wonder how a parent can do this to their child. I felt terrible after drinking and smoking while pregnant, surely hitting and making your child cry would rest on your conscience?
Clearly, my father doesn't have a conscience. And my mother… If she cared, she would have handed herself in. She wouldn't have run away to Florida.
"Come on, Bella, Sally invited us out to dinner," Esme says, helping me up and leading me out of the room.
I glance back at the spot previously by my father, who didn't even look in my direction.
"Ok," I murmur, not particularly in the mood but knowing I won't be able to get out of it.
Once Esme and I are alone in the car, Esme turns to me.
"How are you?" she asks me.
I shrug. "I don't know. I'm happy that the monster is away from me, but…he was, at one time, my father." I try to explain it, though I'm rather unsuccessful. "I don't know," I repeat.
"We don't have to go out tonight, if you don't want to," Esme offers.
"No, I don't mind. It was nice to see Sally again," I tell her, somewhat honestly.
We follow Matt and Sally's car to a restaurant, and end up having a nice time. Sally gives me her number and tells me to keep in contact, saying that she wants pictures once I give birth.
*******SML*******
It's late in the evening when we finally arrive home in Forks. I feel both physically and mentally exhausted, already looking forward to my nice, comfy bed.
As we pull up to the house, Esme and I both frown when we see lights still on inside. It's past 11 p.m., and it's a school night, so we assumed everyone would be asleep when we got home.
"Hello?" Esme calls out as we unlock the door and walk inside. We both head towards the living room, as the lights are on in there.
"Esme, why don't you take Bella up to her room?" Carlisle suggests, blocking the doorway.
"What's going on?" I ask him suspiciously. "Who's in there?" I add.
Carlisle remains silent and, in the silence, I can hear someone sniffling inside the living room. Now I'm even more curious.
"Fine," Carlisle sighs, allowing us entrance.
Sat in the armchair – that Rose had previously said was reserved for the heavily pregnant – is my mother. I immediately glare at her. Isn't she supposed to be in prison or something?
"Aren't you meant to be in prison?" I ask coldly.
"I got sentenced yesterday to two years in prison," my mother admits. Two years? That's all she got? She watched my father for seven years, yet she only has to face two years?
"Two years of your life for ruining seven of mine? That doesn't seem like a fair deal," I tell her, blinking back tears. I will not show weakness. "Anyway, why are you here?" I ask, focussing back onto that question.
"I wanted to see you. Before I get taken away," my mother says, tears falling down her face.
"Well, now you've seen me, you can go," I say, pointing to the door.
"I'm sorry, Is- Bella. I'm so, so sorry," she whimpers, standing up shakily. I hadn't noticed before how thin she looks. Scarily thin.
"Has your conscience finally caught up with you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"My conscience was always there. I just…I heard about…about Charles. And his sentence. For the first time, I feel like I'm finally free from him. The last time I felt this happy was your eighth birthday. After you were born, your father changed. I thought he'd stay that way forever. But, he turned right back into the man from before as soon as he lost his job," my mother explains tearfully.
"What do you mean the man from before?" I ask, still cautious.
"Before you were born, I was his punch bag," my mother says.
My eyes widen and I need to sit down to digest what she's saying. He used to hit her? Why didn't she leave him? Why?
"He was abusive towards you and others, right?" I question. My mother nods timidly. "And you thought that would make great father material?" I shout. Tears fall down my cheeks but I make no move to wipe them away. "You still had a child, even though there was a possibility of him being abusive to that child?" I ask incredulously.
"I didn't plan on getting pregnant! I was selfish; I knew a child would love me! My parents died a long time ago, no one else wanted or needed me," she says.
I freeze, her words going around in my head. Wasn't that how I justified keeping my own child? No, we're different. I'll never see harm come to my child. Never.
"I…I need time. I need to think," I finally say.
"Please, just know that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt my baby," my mother sobs.
It's times like this where I kind of wish that I didn't have a conscience, as, now, I'm beginning to understand some of her reasons. "Maybe…maybe after I've given birth, I could come visit you in prison. I could, uh, bring pictures, or something," I offer.
"I'd like that," my mother says, actually smiling. I haven't seen her smile in years. "I should probably get going now," she adds, standing up.
I stand up, too, not sure of what to do.
My mother answers that by walking forward and hugging me. I tense up, unable to even attempt to slow the flow of my tears, and then tentatively put my arms back around her.
A/N: What do you think about the return of Bella's mother?
Review = Rose/Edward outtake!
Lyrics: Last Night I Dreamt… by The Wombats