Bella:
And every day that you want to change
That you want to change
Yeah, I'll help you see it through
'Cause I just really want to be with you
Despite what Esme said about being able to prepare what I want to say, I forget everything as soon as I take the seat opposite my mother.
Like I promised my mother the last time I saw her, I brought with me some pictures of Hazel. Truthfully, it was hard to choose which pictures to bring. I may have been going a bit overboard with the baby album.
My daughter is just too cute.
The guards who searched me on the way in almost didn't let me take in the pictures, but a few tears soon worked in my favour.
"I brought some pictures to show you," I start, sliding them across the small table. Mum looks even thinner than the last time I saw her.
"She's beautiful," Mum says, eagerly looking at the pictures. "What did you call her?"
"Hazel Elizabeth Swan," I answer.
Mum smiles a little, helping to make her look more alive. "That's a lovely name. Where did the middle name come from?" Mum asks.
"It's Edward's grandmother's name," I tell her. She frowns slightly when I mention Edward. "Edward's my boyfriend. He's really sweet and not at all like Riley." Who I haven't even heard from since the birth. I did call him to inform him that he now has a daughter, but he hasn't replied to the voice message I left.
"Riley's the father?" Mum asks, shocked.
"Technically, yes. But he hasn't spoken to me at all, even though I told him about the birth," I explain to her.
"And you say Edward is good to you?" Mum asks, looking concerned. That's a first.
"Yes, Mum. He's so sweet. I'm not going to make the same mistakes twice," I tell her firmly. I'm not weak or stupid anymore.
"I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve the right to comment on your life. I just want to make sure you're happy," she admits, quickly brushing away some stray tears. At first I look away, angry that it's taken so long for her to finally show her emotions. Eventually I meet her gaze again, realising that although I may be angry, she's being punished already.
"I am happy. So happy," I tell her, smiling a little. "Um…how are you coping?" I ask tentatively. Visibly, it doesn't look like she's coping too well.
"I'll be fine," Mum admits weakly.
"You need to eat," I tell her. Mum starts to protest. "Don't. It's obvious you're not. You're in jail; you don't need to punish yourself more."
More tears fall down her face from my words.
"How have you been coping with being a…a mother?" Mum eventually asks.
"It's been good. Edward's been helping me a lot, as has Rose. She has a son in January, so we're learning together," I tell her.
"Tell me about your friends," Mum says, her eyes shining.
I explain to her about all the children in the Cullen's house, and how we've all had problems. I tell her lots about Rose and Edward, and how Rose took me under her wing. Mum remains quiet the whole time, though she seems happier and happier.
Though it doesn't seem like it, the hour soon passes, meaning I have to leave.
"When do you want to see me next?" I ask Mum.
"You'll visit again?" Mum asks, looking shocked and close to tears again.
"Sure," I nod. "We need to work on our relationship," I tell her.
"I'm allowed a visitor once a week, so whenever suits you," Mum says.
"How about every Friday, then?" I offer. Mum beams, nodding eagerly and thanking me profusely. "See you in a week, then," I tell her as the guards begin escorting her away.
"See you on Friday," she smiles, waving just before she disappears.
I follow all the other visitors who are leaving the prison, who are in various states of distress. Some are in tears while others look angry.
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.
I go over to the desk to collect my things from the guard.
"You ok?" he asks me as he hands me my bag.
"Yeah, I guess," I shrug.
I leave the prison quickly, thankful to see Esme in her car, waiting for me. I quickly get in and offer Esme a weak smile.
Once we're back at the house, I make my excuses and go upstairs to my room with Hazel. As I cradle her against my chest, she reaches up to tug on some on my hair. It seems all babies have an obsession with tugging hair.
"I met up with your grandmother today," I tell her, rocking her gently. "I showed her pictures of you, and she said you were very beautiful," I continue, smiling as her grip lessens. "Maybe one day you can meet her? Though you'll have to wait a while. For now, Esme is your only grandma. You have lots of people who love you, you know that?" I say, watching as her eyes start closing.
I get up carefully and place her in her cot, grinning as she immediately reaches out for her favourite toy, her stuffed elephant. Alice got it for her and now Hazel refuses to sleep without it.
When she's settled, I turn around to see Edward standing by the door. He smiles and walks forward, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly. I melt into his embrace and try not to cry.
"How did it go?" he asks gently, sitting us down on the bed.
"Good. We mostly spoke about you and Hazel," I admit, grinning. Edward leans forward to peck my lips.
"Maybe I could come with you next time? If that's ok," Edward offers.
I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him sweetly. "How is it possible for one person to be so sweet and caring and so…so…" I trail off, kissing all over his face. "I love you," I tell him.
"I love you, too," he easily replies, holding my head so that he can kiss my lips.
Before things get out of hand, I pull away, since Hazel is still in the room. We're both breathing heavily and still securely wrapped together.
Edward tells me about his day at school, making me smile when he said he missed Hazel and I. Then, he makes me laugh when he says he's got my catch-up work.
*******SML*******
"Shhh, Hazel, baby," I chant, rocking her in my arms and pacing around my bedroom. It's got to have been at least an hour but she won't stop crying! I sniff the air. "Nope, you don't need changing, and I've tried feeding you. What do you want, sweetheart?" I coo, hoping my voice will soothe her to sleep.
It doesn't.
I continue pacing and rocking, praying that Dexter doesn't wake up and start screaming. Rose and everyone in the house would probably want to kill me.
Hazel's screams just seem to get louder, not even her soft toys will calm her down. I'm surprised people are still asleep with all this noise.
There's a soft knock on my door, which I almost miss because of Hazel's cries. I hurry over, praying it's Rose or Esme here to offer some much needed advice.
"Bree?" I question. "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to wake you. I just don't know what's wrong with her," I tell her, almost in tears myself.
Bree shakes her head and then holds out her arms. I pause for a minute before desperation overwhelms me, and I hand Hazel over. Bree walks into my room, holding Hazel perfectly, and begins to glance over Hazel. It almost looks like she's assessing her.
After a while, Bree starts looking through the mountain of baby stuff in my room. When she finds a pacifier, she picks it up and holds it in front of Hazel. Her cries immediately lessen and she opens her mouth expectantly.
Once she's got the pacifier in her mouth, Hazel seems to smile and her crying stops. Bree smiles in satisfaction, before handing Hazel back to me.
"Thank you so much, Bree," I say, a little in shock. "You're brilliant with babies!" I tell her, relieved. And utterly exhausted.
Bree shakes her head at my words, glancing down at Hazel. She gently kisses Hazel's forehead before leaving my room quickly.
I carefully put Hazel back in her cot before thankfully returning to my bed. I start wondering about Bree's past, and how to get her to open up to someone. Although, before I can get any ideas, I fall fast asleep.
Looking after a baby is exhausting.
A/N: Thoughts on Renee? And what might have happened in Bree's past?
Review = Bree outtake
Lyrics: Waste by Foster the People