Thanks for reading guys and remember questions and/or comments are always highly welcomed. If it makes you feel better, I was emotional on the last one too. Also you guys are so much nicer than I am, when a writer makes me cry I yell at them.

Chapter 63

Not Fair…

She'd offered to drive as they were loading the car, but Logan just shook his head and said he was fine. One look at his weary, but alert eyes she'd known he'd been telling the truth and the short naps had left him rested enough. So here, they were Logan's eyes focused on the road and Max's looking out the window, sitting in the car in silence, easy to do since Cale was asleep, a cd softly drumming out the noise of the car and the road.

They couldn't be normal, they both knew it and accepted it. They'd stayed in bed a few minutes longer staring up at the ceiling as it hit them. The death they had known was coming. It was amazing how awkward things got so quickly. She'd sat up first with the blanket clutched around her trying to figure out how to get out of the bed. He'd leaned over and scooped up what remnants of their clothing had been within his reach, awkwardly passing over her clothing, making sure they didn't touch.

They returned out to the living room to find Cale almost dozing on the couch. Logan had asked her if she wanted anything to eat since they'd barely touched their lunch. She'd shaken her head and said a few minutes later maybe it would just be easier if they left now since Cale was ready for his nap early, making the car ride easier.

That had made sense at the time, of course now she were wishing he'd wake up and fill the car with chatter. Every once in awhile one of them said something and the other responded with a short answer. Mostly though they remained in silence trying to figure out exactly how their lives ended up this way. Not being able to touch the person they loved…

Made no sense…None whatsoever.

She wondered what would happen now. He wouldn't run away like last time, she knew that. She wasn't too sure about herself though. She just wanted to lock herself in her room and hide. Hide from the world that did this to them. Hide from everything that reminded her of Logan. Of the spikey haired, clean-shaven, gray sweater, blue jean-wearing guy next to her. The guy who she knew every inch of his body, what every spot tasted like, what his jaw tasted like with a cream sauce on it that she of course flicked up with a finger as they were cooking and then was pinned up against the counter until she removed it.

The guy, the next time she touched his temperature would soar, his skin would cover in hives and he would fall before her as his body started to shut down.

The guy, she would stand back and watch as he dated others, fell for others, moved on with his life and she would do the same. Otherwise, she'd watch as he fell before her, a misplaced touch, a kiss where there wasn't enough material…Dozens of different ways for it to happen and it would. It would happen and then it would happen again and they'd try to stay away, but it would happen again. Three times…A guaranteed three times Josh's blood would work.

It would happen again though their lives were intertwined; it would happen again…Maybe they'd get lucky…Maybe he'd pull through…She didn't want to imagine a world either way like that. She'd lose him eventually…

This way she got to keep him….Hard to imagine though.

His kisses, his touches belonging to someone else…

Hiding away from the word and licking her wounds definitely was sounding like a good plan right about now. Getting into her bed and pulling the blankets over her head…

She needed Zack right about now; she needed to hear him scream at her to be a soldier. Maybe then this wouldn't hurt so much.

-o-o-o-o-

Cale's chatter filled the final leg of the trip; causing his parents to snap out of their 'pity-us' mode. His words caused his parents to not only interact with him, but with each other. To laugh and give each other looks as he rattled on, his words completely undistinguishable even to them and then trying to piece it together, then laughing as they figured it out.

Finally they arrived at her apartment and Logan went to get Cale out of the backseat as Max moved around to the trunk. "Why don't you just keep him tonight?" she said with her bag across her back before Logan even had the strap undone.

"Are you sure?" he asked looking worried, she usually had him Sundays.

"Yea," she said with a shake of her head, "he's only going to be up for a few more hours, makes sense for him just to go with you now." The words were only the partial truth, it was the logical thing to do since she had work in the morning, but mostly she wanted to be alone and mourn.

"Okay" he said with a nod of his head, not wanting to push her farther and stepped back so she could say goodbye to Cale.

"Bye sweetie" she said ducking down to give him a kiss goodbye. "Be good for Daddy." She straightened up and looked at Logan as she shut the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." She said with a nod.

"Tomorrow" he repeated with his own nod and watched as she disappeared into her building before getting back into the car.

-o-o-o-o-

She pulled out her phone as she was unpacking her bag and pressed it on before tossing it to the bed. She groaned and looked at it in disgust as it started to beep. She did not want to listen to any of her friends problems right now; she wanted to wallow in her own. Of course, she picked it up anyway since something might be up with Josh or Cindy.

A look of annoyance passed over her face as neither of their voices came through her phone, but Alec's. "Okay come on guys I know you're not coming back to town, but at least pick up your phones. Okay I already left a message on Logan's. So I guess we'll just sit here and twiddle our thumbs until you guys decide you want to call us back. I'm really not kidding Max, call me back."

She made a face, wondering what was up as she hit seven and moved onto the next message. "Seriously, come on, it's Sunday. When the hell are you two coming home? We're at Logan's come straight here."

"Okay that really didn't sound good." She said the words aloud to the empty room as she moved to grab her coat and keys.

-o-o-o-o-

She pulled up in front of Logan's alongside Alec, Zen and Vida's bikes, definitely not a good sign. She bounded up the steps two at a time, various scenarios still running through her mind.

"Mommy" Cale happily exclaimed from the living room floor where Zen was building with him.

Logan looked up, already looking completely distracted by whatever problem he'd been dealing with for the past ten minutes.

"Look who finally decided to join the party." Alec said from where he was leaning up alongside Logan.

She shook her head, "What happened?"

"Chinese were a little more successful at their attempt at securing some Manticore technology." Logan said with his attention returning to the screen before him.

"Wait" Alec said looking down at shock, "They did this before."

"Tried to buy Brin. Who'd they get?" She said distractedly as she moved closer to look over Logan's other shoulder seeing that he was trying to track down their movements.

"Ty, an X-5." Alec supplied, "I can't believe you never mentioned this."

"Alec everyone knew to be on guard for anything." It was well known other countries would eventually want them as their own did, to be guinea pigs, soldiers and breeders. The ramifications of how powerful the US could become once more within just a few generations if the transgenics bred amongst the normal population was well known. "How do we know it was the Chinese?"

"He didn't come home, his girlfriend hit up his job a few hours later, a few people."

Zen cut off Alec, "We didn't until we told Logan everything we knew."

Alec shot a look over at his friend and then one to Max, "Can you find anything on his computer?"

"Some of us are more skilled than others. How's it coming Logan?"

"Can't find them in the city, but also haven't found any evidence of them leaving yet. Give me a few."

"In that case, I need food, I'm starving." She watched the corners of Logan's mouth twitch up as his eyes remained focused on the screen.

"Vida just walked down to get a pizza." Zen supplied.

"How long ago?"

"She should be back in a few."

She pouted as she sat down on the floor with him and Cale.

She realized something as they were all scattered about the living room, eating and doing their best to distract Logan from finding Ty, she didn't feel guilty. Manticore had tried to stop her and Logan again, every time they'd come close Manticore had interfered. Zack, being shot, the damn gossamer, they'd avoided their bad luck this time and she didn't feel guilty. Well at least not too guilty.

She looked over at Logan who now had Cale up on his lap as he tried to work, deciding it was the only place he wanted to be despite several attempts to convince him otherwise. A single hand holding their son in place as the other tried to accomplish everything on the computer. No, she took it back, she didn't feel guilty. Sorry for Ty, but not guilty or sorry about their time together.

He seemed to feel her eyes upon him and he looked over at her and smiled. No definitely not guilty or sorry. Happy…no matter what, she was happy, loved, no one could take that from her.