A/N - thank you to everyone who is following this story, and to all those who have left feedback. I am genuinely grateful!
Chapter 7 - A New Assignment
Alec lay on top of his bed staring up at the ceiling. He hadn't spoken to Magnus since their fight three days ago, and although Magnus had called him several times, he had refused to answer. Sitting here in his old bedroom in the Institute, he couldn't help but think about the day he had left this place to move in with Magnus – he'd been so happy, and so secure in the belief that he would never sleep in this bed again. But he'd been wrong, of course.
This room held a lot of memories, not all of them pleasant. He hadn't had a miserable childhood by any means, but there had always been a strange anxiety lurking in the back of his mind, the ever-present knowledge that if the world saw him for what he really was, he would lose everything he cared about. Fear had always kept his mouth tight shut and his eyes cast down. It had made him cling to the corners of rooms, and fold his arms tightly as if that would somehow keep the broken pieces of his psyche locked in place. It had made him despise himself; for such a long time he had felt as if his homosexuality was a dark and ugly curse that had taken root in his bones, like a cancerous growth, and all he wanted was to dig into himself and tear it out. He had since come to accept the fact that he would never be entirely comfortable in his own skin; he would never possess the easy confidence and poise others did, but that was all right. He would settle for acceptance. And over the past few months he had finally managed to attain it, after a fashion. For the first time he had learned to hold his head up high, to stop thinking of his sexuality as a curse or a deformity, something to be covered up and buried in shame. He had learned to be brave, and free, and he owed it all to Magnus. Without Magnus he might never have found the courage and the impetus to come out to his parents, to declare himself openly and risk public scorn and ridicule. Without Magnus he might never have learned to appreciate, even celebrate, the person that he was. For the first time in his life he didn't find himself wishing he'd been born different. Freedom had come at a price, of course – not everyone he had encountered had been kind and tolerant, and he knew he might never gain full acceptance from Shadowhunter society – but overall, it had been worth it. His parents may not have been quite as helpful and supportive as they ought to have been, but at least they hadn't disowned him. In the end, their love for him had outweighed their disappointment and condemnation. Still, he couldn't help but feel relieved that they were both currently in Idris. They would no doubt be quietly pleased that his relationship was in trouble. They might have accepted Magnus for Alec's sake, but they didn't fully approve of the warlock, and neither of them had taken too much trouble to hide it.
Clary had been at the Institute all day yesterday, and although Alec no longer resented her as he used to, he couldn't help but feel bitter at the sight of her and Jace draped over one another. It wasn't envy he felt – his days of pining over Jace were so far behind him that his former feelings seemed almost incomprehensible – but being in close proximity to a loved-up couple was the absolute last thing he felt like dealing with right now. It reminded him too much of the kind of happiness he and Magnus had shared. So after spending a very awkward breakfast in their company yesterday, he'd spent the majority of his time since then locked up in this room. It reminded him of the confinement of his former life, of secrecy, of all the years he'd hidden away in the darkness, afraid to simply be himself. It made him miss Magnus more than anything, but the anger still twisted in his stomach like a coiled cobra. He wasn't ready to make contact. Not yet.
At that moment, there came a pounding at the door. Alec sat up with a start as Isabelle came striding into the room without waiting for a response.
"OK, you've had precisely three days' wallowing time," she announced, dropping down onto the bed beside him. "Now you're going to talk to me."
"I don't feel like talking, Izzy," Alec replied, folding his arms defensively. "Wallowing sounds like a better option right now."
"Ugh, you always were a born wallower," she said, cuffing him on the side of the head. "But you know I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what's up with you and Magnus, so you might as well spill before I hit you again."
"Magnus betrayed my trust," Alec said grumpily, rubbing his head.
"Did that sparkling harpy cheat on you?" Izzy was outraged. "Because I got a brand-new two-handed machete for my birthday and I have been itching to try it out on someone…"
"No, no, he didn't cheat," Alec waved his hand impatiently. "He lied to me about something important." And with that he finally gave in, and told his sister the entire sorry saga from beginning to end. Her brow was knitted with confusion by the time he'd finished.
"So, he never actually dated this vampire guy?" She asked.
"No, Angelotti's straight. But Magnus wanted to date him, back when they first met. And he lied to me about it. Kind of. I mean he didn't technically lie, but he didn't tell the whole truth either, if that makes sense," Alec said.
"So, Magnus had a one-sided crush on a guy about a gazillion years ago, and you're mad because he didn't tell you about it?"
"Well it sounds dumb when you say it like that," Alec admitted. "But yeah."
"So, are you worried that he still has feelings for the guy?"
"I don't know…no, not really. This isn't really about Angelotti at all."
"Then what the hell is it about Alec?"
"Magnus keeps secrets, all the time," Alec replied insistently. "Getting information out of him is like pulling teeth. I'm constantly paranoid, because I never know if I'm getting the whole story!"
"Just a thought," she said tentatively. "But, are you sure he doesn't hold back because he knows that when he tells you the truth you'll freak out and start throwing his whole kitchen at him?"
"I would never have done that if he'd been upfront from the beginning," Alec snapped, feeling a little wounded now. "And I can't believe you're taking his side!"
"I'm not!" It was Izzy's turn to look offended. "I'm always on your side, and I get why you're mad – at least I think I do. Magnus let you down, I understand that. It's just…no one is ever completely honest. No one ever spills every single gory little detail about their past, like ever."
"I do!" Alec said adamantly.
"Well then you're one in a million," she answered. "Seriously."
"You just don't understand what it's like," Alec said, still feeling a little moody. "I mean, you're with Simon. His dating history is basically just…Clary. And that's it."
"Yeah, and I have to see her on a daily basis," Izzy said. "Which is fine, by the way, because I like her and she makes Jace happy, but do you think it's easy for me to deal with the fact that Simon's been in love with Clary for most of his life? That they have a shared history that I can't even begin to understand or compete with? That I may never be as important to him as she is? That if he had to choose between us, he'd choose her in an instant, because she's his best friend and nothing's ever going to change that? Sometimes I think you don't know how good you actually have it with Magnus – he's met hundreds of thousands of people in his lifetime and dated who knows how many, and yet you're still at the top of his list. He doesn't put anyone else in front of you, and he never will."
"I guess you're right," Alec admitted a little grudgingly. In a twisted sort of way he had been almost enjoying stewing in his righteous indignation. He was still hurt by Magnus' betrayal, but now his anger was finally beginning to fade and he found himself starting to wonder if he'd overreacted. Maybe he'd been childish to run away at the first sign of trouble. Perhaps if he'd stayed and talked things over he and Magnus would've resolved their issues by now.
"You guys will work it out," Izzy said kindly, seeming to sense his sudden doubt. "You're meant to be. You might not be as gung-ho about everything as Clary and Jace are, but you're just as right for each other. You'll see."
"Clary and Jace have one major advantage," Alec said bitterly, giving voice to something that had been rattling round in his mind for months; something he had barely even mentioned to Magnus. "They're both human, and mortal. They can grow old together, if that's what they choose. But Magnus and I, and you and Simon, we don't have that luxury. We'll die one day, and they'll be left behind. And nothing can ever change that. I just sometimes feel like it doesn't matter how much Magnus loves me, or how devoted he is, I'll always just be a chapter in his story. In the grand scheme of his life, I'm insignificant."
"Man, and I was in a good mood when I woke up this morning…" Isabelle smiled valiantly, but she looked a little upset.
"Sorry, Izzy, I didn't mean to bring you down," he said, feeling guilty all of a sudden.
"It's fine, I get it. Life's short for us," she shrugged. "But that's why you can't throw away the opportunities you get. If you let Magnus go now, you'll regret it forever."
"I know," he replied.
"Anyway, I'm making you dinner right now, and don't even try to tell me you're not hungry, you haven't eaten a thing all day," she stood up and walked towards the door, waving away his protests. "Clary and Jace have gone out to eat, I think you possibly freaked them out earlier when you just sat glaring at them like they'd eaten your pet goldfish."
"Are you sure it wasn't the threat of your cooking that cleared the place?" Alec muttered.
"What was that?" Izzy demanded sharply, whipping her head round.
"Nothing," Alec said, looking a little sheepish.
"Good. I'll see you in the kitchen in half an hour."
As promised, Alec came down to the kitchen half an hour later to be presented with one of Isabelle's culinary extravaganzas – an evil-smelling beef casserole that both looked and tasted as if it had been dredged up from the bowels of hell. Alec forced down a mouthful or two to spare his sister's feelings, but when Isabelle was distracted by the phone ringing he took the opportunity to ladle a large portion of his food back into the pot. When she returned her face was serious and taut, and he thought she was annoyed with him for a brief second.
"Right. We've got to go," she said quickly. "The Clave have had reports about a series of possible vampire attacks in East Harlem. We've got to go check it out."
He nodded silently, trying to swallow down the sudden and inexplicable panic clawing its way up his throat.
About an hour later, Alec found himself striding through the teeming streets of Upper Manhattan with Isabelle at his side. A thousand street-lights stained the evening sky with their dirty orange glow. The city was full of noise and fumes and bustle, through which Alec and Izzy passed unseen.
"Jace won't be happy about us doing this without him," Alec murmured as they took a left turn into a shady little alleyway, heading away from the crowds and toward the abandoned industrial estate they were looking for.
"Well in that case he should extract his tongue from Clary's mouth and answer his damn phone," Izzy said airily. "I left him a message, so he can't complain."
After a few minutes a series of large, hulking buildings came into view.
"You're sure this is the place?" Alec asked in an undertone, as Izzy made toward the smallest and ugliest of the buildings. Most of the vampires he had met seemed to prefer more stylish locations – even the Hotel Dumort had evoked a certain murky sense of grandeur, but the great derelict monstrosity before him was simply gray and monotonous; it was ugly in the most dull and bourgeois sense.
"This is where mundanes keep going missing, yeah," she said a little impatiently.
"And you're sure the Clave didn't think it necessary to send us some back-up?" Alec demanded.
"No, I told you, it's one measly vampire," Izzy insisted. "We've faced a lot worse. They say he hangs around these streets at night, and if a mundane comes by he hooks them in with his vampire mojo, takes them back to his place, and…"
"I know that, but how do they know it's only one vampire?" Alec interrupted. "It could be a whole clan for all we know."
"Well that's not what the reports say," she said simply. "Anyway, I can hardly see a whole army of bloodsuckers holed up in this dump, can you?"
They made their way across the derelict yard, their footsteps muffled by Stealth runes, and passed through an open door that hung crookedly from a single hinge, into the darkness of the building. There was no sign of any life or movement, and dust lay thick on the floor. Silence hung heavily about the halls and corridors as they explored the place carefully, looking for signs of recent habitation or movement, and neither of them could see or sense anything unusual. After ten minutes they shrugged, and made their way back towards the entrance, Alec leading the way. Isabelle lagged behind, reluctant to leave.
"Come on, Izzy," Alec demanded, eager to put this place behind him – it might not be a vampire's lair, but it was still highly unpleasant.
"Dammit, I was hoping for a coffin or two at the very least," Izzy said, sounding more than a little disappointed. "A few bloodless corpses propped up in the corner maybe. I don't know about you but I feel a little let d-" but she broke off quickly and let out a little cry.
Alec twisted round, but before he had even turned his whole body he began to feel it – the ground beneath his feet was moving, plummeting, and he was swallowed by a sudden wave of pure darkness.