Chapter Sixty-Eight

Stillness

Her eyes opened to soft green as she felt a hand slide through her hair and gently rest upon the back of her head, holding her gaze to him. There was only one expression, one emotion visible in those eyes and that was love.

Pure, unadulterated love.

"You're gonna get a kink in your neck," his voice whispered softly matching the tone set by the dark, still night.

She just continued to look at him. She loved him so much. More than anything she'd ever believed possible. More than should be possible. You shouldn't love like this…The ramifications of what…Her mind couldn't go there, couldn't think about it, couldn't comprehend it.

"Is your neck sore?" He asked lowering his hand to the body part in question, his hand tightening and moving over it to ease any discomfort.

She shook her head gently still just looking at him, knowing she couldn't live in a world without him. They could be any other family in this moment. Any normal family. Their son was asleep in bed; she'd simply fallen asleep on the couch…

But they weren't.

The day suddenly replayed itself in her mind. Alec slinging Logan over his shoulder and rushing up the stairs with him, drenching them both as he stood with him in the cold shower trying to wake Logan up and bring down his temperature. The series of curses as he realized Logan wasn't responding, even more through the pounding water as he found Logan's pulse and started to wonder if they even had enough time for Josh to even get there. Screaming at Max to bring the kit Bev had left. He didn't know the difference his blood would be to Joshua's, he didn't know what it would mean for Max and Logan, but he no longer cared. His voice hadn't remembered to be calm in those few moments; it missed the fact that Cale was hysterical in his mother's arms already and kept trying to break free to go to his father. His father who was completely oblivious to the world around him.

He had Logan stripped down to his boxers, soaking his bed, the needle poised to enter the vein as he heard the door open. Zen arrived with Josh and blood started to flow into Logan within a minute of their arrival. Asha arrived almost fifteen minutes later and Alec suddenly remembered he'd forgotten her at home; there had been no time to waste when he'd heard Max's voice. Asha had taken up a position at the top of Logan's bed as Josh leaned forward in a chair. Zen muttered something about going to go find ice. Max stood silently in the doorway just watching, rubbing Cale's back as the toddler continued to look distraught.

Alec stopped pacing, suddenly feeling useless and had gone and collected Cale from Max's arms, she'd looked up at him confused as her son slipped from her arms. Alec knew for a sure fact the last thing Logan would want is Cale watching this, so he took the boy back off to his own room. Max had followed, but she didn't react much once seated on the toddler sized bed as Alec attempted to distract the boy from the sudden crisis that had overtaken his house.

Alec hadn't known what was going on in the other room until Zen returned, shockingly enough with three bags of ice. He walked into Cale's room after placing the ice around Logan and all he did was silently shake his head. Max's mouth had dropped open, tears filled her eyes.

"He should be…" Zen's voice tapered off, he didn't want to say the words, "he should be responding by now." But he wasn't, his temperature was still climbing, his vitals nowhere near normal. They knew the drill; they knew detail for detail what had happened last time. "I'm gonna go call Shankar," he nodded and it was only the soldier for twenty years in him that kept the movement steady. They all knew what Bev would say, if Josh's blood didn't work, nothing would. Nothing could be done for Logan at a hospital, nothing that would have any type of real effect.

"How are you feeling?" She asked in a voice she could barely recognize as her own.

"Not bad," he said still holding her gaze, "kinda like the flu." He smirked to himself for a moment, "Not that you have any idea what that would feel like."

She smiled softly.

"I'm a little weak," he explained further, "I'll be fine in a few hours." He said knowing from experience the rush that would come with Joshua's blood in his system.

She still just remained focused upon his eyes, her mind just barely taking in the rest of his face. The lips that had a groan emerge from them after almost four hours of pure silence. It had taken almost an hour for his fever to stop spiking, another one after that for it to actually start to fall. Night had already fallen by the time his vitals returned to normal, his eyes had blinked a couple of times without full consciousness taking effect. Here he was though, now looking like he just needed a few hours of sleep. Which is odd considering all she'd been praying for all day was for him to just wake up.

"Are you okay?" he asked as his hand left her neck and traveled to her cheek.

A soft nod.

"You didn't run," he said simply.

Her head tilted into his hand wondering what he meant.

"I didn't know if you were going to be here," he'd woken to Alec dozing in armchair next to his bed, feet propped and all. The other man had barely stirred as Logan sat up and took several short sips of warm water that rolled around his stomach rather unpleasantly. He'd gotten dressed in silence wondering if this would be like every other time, if she would be gone. Part of him that first night had wondered if she had just been a vivid sickness induced hallucination.

She was here this time though, asleep on his couch. He'd paused for a moment just looking down at her, the innocence Manticore had never been able to steal just as he used to watch her after a seizure had subsided.

She continued to look puzzled at him for a moment until her sleep and fear addled brain could comprehend his words. It hadn't even occurred to her to run. The thought hadn't crossed her mind in months, probably over a year. Curl into a ball; throw a blanket over her head? Yea…But not run. Running had stopped being an option awhile ago. There was nowhere she could run to escape him.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said softly.

"Good to know," he nodded.

"Things have got to change," her voice flat.

He gruffly nodded and it took him a few seconds to find his voice, "I figured that."

"I'm not strong Logan," she said still focused on his eyes.

He waited for her to explain.

The world saw her one way, the people of Seattle, the citizens of TC, but it wasn't true. "I can't go through this again," her words paused for a moment and her eyes briefly closed before reconnecting with his, "I can't ever lose you. If you…" her words trailed off and she realized she couldn't say it aloud, she couldn't give it that power.

"I'm not planning on going anywhere Max," his thumb gently moved up her cheek sending along the weird sensations of latex meeting skin she had become so used to.

She nodded again, "You should go back to bed."

"With that serenade going on?" he asked.

Another confused look passed her face.

"It's like a lullaby with trumpets," he smiled referring to Alec's snores which he was pretty sure were caused by the odd position his head was in since he'd never heard them before and Joshua's full blown 'rattle the windows' snore he could hear two doors down.

A small smile.

"Not to mention my bed's pretty damp and I'm starving. How do you feel about breakfast? I think I've got some eggs."

She hesitated.

"Come on," he said standing a little slower than she was used to, "sun'll be up soon anyway."

She nodded and followed him out of the room.

Yea I was going to do the whole last chapter and this chapter in one shot, but as I was writing 67 I decided a two parter would work better. I'm not a big fan of cliffhangers either; I have absolutely no patience for that stuff. Oh and can we please stop accusing me of turning MA people…I think I have proven my devotion for Logan by this point. Neither Max nor Alec would ever do that to Logan.

Oh and I so love the word 'holiday,' why don't Americans use that term? Vacation sounds so crude next to holiday. Yea yea I know, most things American sound crude when compared to British.