It is soon after that she leaves the confines of her chamber, dressing herself up in more casual blue dress, reaching halfway to shin, she doesn't feel like bothering with one of her ice dresses, doesn't trust it to be perfect. The first one she made back at the mountain peak was something she had thought up a long time before but never could get it right, her powers always got out of control, it is also very regal and frankly she feels anything but regal right now. The maid said Anna is alright, and besides there have been a night in between events on the shore and right now. She can't remember what happened after she helped her sister undress and must find out what happened, preferably without directly asking. People expect the best of their queen and a momentary weakness is surely not something they wish to know about, why worry them?

She managed to get her hair under control though a loose strand sticks out from her braid here and there, it's acceptable for now, she doesn't need it impeccable for what she intends to be a lazy day as she intends to spend it with her sibling, it takes way too much time to get it done when her hands aren't shaking. Which makes it impossible for Elsa to braid it just right at this moment. She gave up applying make up after one short look at the trembling brush in her hand. She would make herself look terrible. After seeing Anna is when she can take care of the issue, and while logically she knows her little sister is safe it makes little difference to her haywire emotions. She will calm down when she talk with her, not before.

After closing the door to her room she folds hands in the lap to stop them from shaking too much, her whole body feels unfamiliar, alike what people describe to be cold, in the sense that it shivers slightly without her consent. Elsa often wonders what is it like to feel cold, or hot for that matter, she knows theory behind temperature but can't remember ever feeling it, if she ever even did. She is told that her powers only became apparent sometime after Anna's birth. Her memory doesn't reach that far, not consciously at any rate. She dreams about things that seem normal, they most often turn into nightmares or nonsensical visions though, not a good source material for introspection.

She walks through the silent hallways giving slight nodes to guards saluting her, the first one is around the corridor, she made the request under guise of privacy, not exactly lie but nonetheless not true, having someone, anyone beside her door and awareness of that person being there all the time was nerve wrecking, her dreams are no secret, servants talk at least between themselves and know that her sleep is not at all peaceful, they pick up on lot of things. Concealing secrets is a very important skill as her parents told her, one can't rule a kingdom without knowing how to do it, who and how to use to that end. The knowledge of her personal guard being an assassin was... not as much of a shock as it could have been she supposes, her lessons left her disillusioned, as did life. Thankfully, she never had to use him but instead of being unnerved by his presence she finds it comforting. In a strange way she supposes, as she knows that without him and others responsible for her safety she would be vulnerable as a new born baby as well as the fact that had he wanted to kill her he could do it and there is nothing she can do to prevent that other than make it adverse for him. And assure his death after her theoretical demise.

She is caught by royal medic as she is about to enter the infirmary. He's a middle aged man and his graying hair, moderate amount of wrinkles and oversized belly only became apparent couple years ago.

"Your Majesty! I see you're faring well, good, good. But do tell me how do you feel so that we may wrap this unpleasant business up." She stops and watches as he makes to bow before her when he finally catches up. Keeping quite a distance from her person, he's been serving her family ever since she remembers and knows well of her... circumstances.

"I feel no worse than on any other day, if worried for my sister."

"It's wonderful to hear, that you feel well of course. I knew it was just exhaustion but I can never rest until hearing from the patient herself."

"Exhaustion?"

"Must have been stress from the princess' accident, you've been asleep ever since."

'I fainted? I don't remember that.'

"Naturally, is my sister alright?"

"Yes, quite. As much as she can be in any case. She is weakened, and a bit sick but nothing beyond a cough and a cold. Nothing unexpected after near drowning." A pained grimace passes on Elsa's face at the words and the man rushes to correct his mistake. "But she's completely safe now and will make full recovery, I assure you my queen."

"I... thank you for your services, I will see my sister now."

"Your Majesty." He gives another bow and quickly leaves. Elsa bits her lip at his hurried retreat, she must have done something wrong for him to hurry off like that but knows not what is it. She suppresses a shiver at the realization that she can't even tell what is it this time. The Queen composes herself and straightens her posture as realization strikes her that she was hunched and didn't even know about it. She lets her fingers trail over hair before pushing open the door into the castle's infirmary.

It's a section of chambers actually, couple for holding beds, supplies, one in which surgeries are performed. One room is kept specifically for the members of royal family and a guard is posted at it's front at all times. All the doors are in just one hallway so that he also makes sure that only the right people have access to medical supplies. He used to stand before entrance to sickrooms but Elsa decided it prudent to move the post (and guard captain had no objection to that), in her eyes it is way too easy for potential murderer to mix contents of container with herbs for say diarrhea with a poison. And then to spoil the meal in some way so that she may need it. It is simply better to keep a trusted guard inside to make sure no one beside medics have access to the storage.

The blonde makes her way towards the guard and he salutes her before opening the door. She steps inside and immediately moves to the bed that a lump in shape of a human is occupying, limbs sticking from under covers. There are two beds in the chamber at total, it's not much unlike the room she and Anna used to share, with all the comforts they may need, a bookcase, wardrobe, dressing panel, chairs, tea table and the likes. She hears the door closing behind her and only then does the younger girl stick her head from under coverlet. Blue eyes lit up at the sight of her sister, that and they widen a second after as she self-consciously attempts to smooth out her disarranged mane (for lack of better term). She gives up and breaks into a blush, simply flipping her hair back.

"Hi! I uh... kind of- fallen asleep. Sorry." Elsa smiles and pulls over a chair to sit on, setting it at safe enough distance that should the princess wish to stand she will not have to move. The older girl puts her hands onto lap as she sits and does her best to stop them from wringing. She isn't shaking anymore though, calmed by other girl's apparent safety.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. You are tired and need to rest."

"Yeah well, just should have stayed up since you were coming."

"It doesn't matter, tell me, how do you feel?"

"Like I've coughed my lungs out. I mean it's better than yesterday but I still feel like someone is tickling me from the inside-" she pauses at the confused look on Elsa's face. "Erm, it's like, ugh. Like when you touch something cold and... ugh, when you..."

"..."

"Oh I got it! Like when you touch a sensitive place on your body, only less nice, more like jab it, you know what I mean?"

Elsa indeed knows what she means but that doesn't stop her mind from imagining Anna's hands trailing patterns on her bare skin, searching, exploring for these... spots. Shuddering breaths leaving her pink lips, eyes half closed in- STOP IT! Not now of all times! She can feel the heat assaulting her face as she pushes the image out of her mind to replace it with another. She uses this technique to stop her thoughts from wandering. She likes imagining a lit candle in the middle of absolute darkness. It's simple to do and quite effective to boot.

It's not that she is disgusted by the thoughts themselves no, she knows them to be depraved and unholy but one can stay in denial for only so long. Ashamed is a better term for what she feels. It makes no difference anyway. She can't touch anyone without panicking so it's not like she has suitors to worry about, there is also no way that her sister feels the same and never, ever will she force herself upon her beloved sibling. All she has are fantasies, she lets herself keep at least them if nothing else. Only this is not the place nor time.

"Elsa? Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes I was just... trying to imagine the feeling." Princess' brows crease as she takes in the flushed face of her sister. It's really amazing how she can just turn this red in mere seconds, probably comes with being as pale as she is, must be a bother to flush like that. "I don't remember ever being tickled." Elsa mutters to distract her sister from her own face's state.

"It's strange, both pleasant and not, as in you really want to get away but it also makes you feel lighter. We used to do it a lot." She cast her eyes downward and her voice grows quieter.

"We... could. If you want to." She draws into herself at the thought, biting her lower lip anxiously, her gaze unfocused. Anna lifts her eyes to look at her and shakes her head, as much as she'd like to she won't do it if it means making her sister miserable. She's happy when Elsa is, that's all there is to it.

"Nah not really, I don't think I could handle laughing right now anyway."

"I don't mean now." She responds weakly.

"Elsa, listen. I love you okay? You don't need to push yourself- you know what? Scratch that, I don't want you to do things against yourself, I hate watching you suffer. If you can't do something then don't force yourself okay? Promise me you won't hurt yourself for me."

Elsa can't hold her tears in any longer when she hears this. What did she ever do to deserve someone this kind and loving in her life she will never know. She suddenly stands up, feeling extremely out of place just sitting on a chair like she did, it makes no sense for Anna to love her. She shut her out for so long, she made her suffer loneliness so terrible that her mind couldn't handle it. Every day, year after year she hurt her by keeping the doors shut because of her own fear and stupidity. Coward, that's all she is. And yet, her sister never faults her for that, never did.

"It's alright, just let it out, do anything you feel like doing." Anna got out from under covers and is now sitting on her legs, suppressing a minor coughing fit whilst looking at her sister with tearful eyes.

Elsa whimpers and scrambles away towards the second bed in the room, she grabs a pillow from it and sits herself down onto floor, back pressed into bed, trying to make herself seems as small as possible. She holds the pillow tightly in her grip, as if she's trying to make up for inability to hold anyone else like that. She pulls her knees up, pressing the cushion further into herself. Stifling her weeping and soaking up tears as well as snot.

After what could have been minutes as well as hours, when she feels too exhausted to cry any longer she lifts her head up to see that while she was busy, Anna got down from her bed and sat herself in exactly the same position as she herself did, the difference being Snowflake taking pillow's place her being wrapped in a coverlet.

"Do you feel better?"

Elsa sniffs.

"I think."

"...I'm worried about you Elsa. You can tell me anything, you know that right?" The queen's mind wanders to the imaginary image of her flushed, half naked sister and feels shame at the thought that Anna trusts her so. She doesn't feel worthy of that trust.

"But you don't have to if you can't, just remember that I will always be there for you no matter what, okay?"

"Okay." She whispers.

"Good, erm, listen we love your magic but could you uh, turn it down a bit? I feel like an icicle here.

"Sorry." She didn't even notice, it's easy to take the cold away now. Her sister's confident smile is all that she needs to cast it away.

"So tell me," she coughs a little. "Do you want to eat the breakfast with me? I'm kind of hungry."

"...I'd like that."

The guard behind that door must be like wtf.

Hint – what does Elsa's statement concerning her health says about her?