Chapter Seventy-Six

Racing through Time

Late February

Logan realized something in those early months of first having Cale, life that had once seemed to be speeding past, now seemed to move at the speed of sound.

It had been a gradual quickening that had started somewhere in middle school, then seemed to speed up dramatically once in college, but once Cale entered it seemed to have an exponential growth that had just taken off.

From silence to his name…a few words awkwardly joined together to full sentences.

It was more than Cale though; everything suddenly seemed as if it was racing by.

It seemed as if only yesterday he sat upon this couch feeling the crisp sofa under one hand and silky strands of Max's hair beneath the other, both of course altered in feeling by the gloves he seemed doomed to wear forever. How had it been so long ago that they dreamed of a cure? Expected one? Even from when they'd grieved of its loss.

It didn't seem like that long ago that her resistance had started breaking down and she started believing in the life they'd have together. She'd stretch out, place her head upon a blanket or pillow or sometimes even just on the impermeable cloth of his pants holding their sleeping son in her arms and be lulled into a state of relaxation by whatever as on the tv and the feeling of his hand in her hair. Even after the 'cure' was gone she'd sometimes give in to the need and would allow them that little bit of closeness.

He couldn't even remember the last time that happened now.

Things had just seemed to have changed overnight; despite the fact that technically it had been months in the making.

The only hair that ran through his fingers now was Kerry's. Long, straight and strawberry blonde. Max's hair had always entertained him, tugging on the ends watching the curls pop up.

Her hair belonged to another now.

He wondered if Jeff appreciated it. It's touch, its taste from kisses to the head and catching it while adoring her neck, the different shades it shimmered in the light.

Who was he kidding?

He knew Jeff didn't. Just like how he didn't appreciate Kerry's at all like that. It was always tinged with a scent of strawberries, but it never effected him an eighth of how Max's did.

A year ago today at this time they'd been on the couch out at the cabin. The flames were flickering low in the fire; neither of them would dare break the bond between them to throw another log on. She'd been tucked into his side, her hair smelled of wildflowers, courtesy he assumed of Maryanne or another of his cousins' wives; it had been intermingled with the woodsy smells of the cabin and Cale's scent of baby powder and wipes. His entire life had been curled up on that couch.

Thinking about it for too long, he would almost forget he wasn't a crier.

-o-o-o-

Early May:

"Seriously couldn't have turned off your fuckin' phone could you Logan?" Kerry groaned and sighed at the same time as she buried her head the pillow.

Oh that's what that noise was, Logan's sleep addled brain realized. "Could be an emergency," he was pretty used to getting those calls. He'd been called away on more than a few occasions providing her with only a shoddy excuse. She seemed used to it though, apparently the fact that more than a few of his coworkers were involved in some legally (though not morally) questionable activities was not as well hidden from the public close by as he'd assumed and he blamed the close proximity to the bars from their jobs.

"You guys are a bunch of freedom fighters," she smiled as he'd tried to feign innocence when she'd started questioning him and putting more things together than he would have assumed.

"Yea that's me, devoted to making it so you can wear pants to work and not get fired."

She laughed and leaned over for a kiss, "Keep your secrets Cale, they don't bother me."

He stumbled slightly extricating himself from the bedclothes, 8:17 he blinked at the clock, god he was getting old, he needed more than five hours of sleep after more than a few drinks and clothing, he thought as he rummaged through the pockets of his pants. Clothing was definitely key, it was freezing.

'Bennett?' That's odd, he thought wondering why his cousin who rarely called would be calling so early, he hoped there wasn't an actual emergency. "It's my cousin," he said as he picked up the phone.

"Explain to him normal people should be sleeping at this time," she mumbled.

He smiled, "Hey Bennett."

"Hey Logan, I didn't wake you did I?"

"It's okay, what's up? Is everything okay?"

Kerry's eyes flittered open for that, she was like most people he knew, they had minimal interactions with their family, it was simply too difficult and expensive to keep the lines of communication open on a regular basis.

"Oh yea, everything's great actually. I'm sorry I just assumed you'd be awake with Cale."

"He's with Max today," Logan explained as he stepped into his pants.

"Oh," his cousin's voice trembled with hesitancy, not exactly sure what to say, if he was supposed to ask whose voice he'd heard muted in the background that he'd previously assumed was Max's.

"Ben?" Logan asked as he paused lifting up his shirt.

"What? Oh yea, listen I just wanted to let you know that Marianne's pregnant again."

Logan's mind flashed with pain remembering how happy his cousin had been to call him last September with the news of her first pregnancy, a follow-up call had come two weeks later and informed him the baby was no longer.

"She's due early November, actually. We've known for awhile, Marianne just wanted to wait until we knew everything was okay before telling everyone."

"That's great news Bennett, tell Marianne I said congratulations."

"I will, I'll let you get back to sleep now," he wondered if he should ask Logan to bring the unidentified voice over for dinner and actually attempt to get a clue as to what was going on in his cousin's life. Not today though he realized, it could wait another day. No reason to spoil the mood.

"Bye Bennett and congratulations again."

"Thanks Logan."

He slid the phone back into his pocket, and pulled on the undershirt that had been in his hand for the past few minutes and scanned the area for where his socks had been left. He spotted them over by the couch along with his shoes. Great thing about a large studio, you never lost things for long.

"Where are you going?" Kerry pouted as she curled into her sheets looking at him.

"I'm wide awake, figured I'd head home a little early, get some work done before I have to pick up Cale."

Another pout.

Socks pulled on, he walked over to her and kissed her head, "Go back to sleep, I'll talk to you later."

It was a lie, but he was used to the lies by now. He and them were old friends by this point. He had different plans than work. Head home, grab a quick shower, call Max and make sure she was home and head over there to tell her the news, maybe talk Max into grabbing lunch with him and Cale. Maybe the weather would be good and they could go to the park…

-o-o-o-

Fourth Anniversary

A totally satisfied and content smile graced her face watching Cale brushing the tops of Logan's biscuit like creation with an egg wash, Logan only slightly hovering as Cale completed his task.

They were the cutest pair she'd ever seen. Logan like normal looked downright amazing in a pair of jeans that hugged him quite spectacularly when he leaned over and a fitted black ribbed sweater. And Cale like normal just looked damn cute, Logan was generally in charge of his clothes, (especially since she'd taken a cut in hours when Cale had gone off to school) and this outfit was no exception. A true Seattle outfit OC would always call it, jeans, a blue pocket tee and a blue, yellow and white plaid shirt over it, her son, the grunger.

She looked at their faces so close together and was reminded how easy it was to see similarities between them, there were times she forgot they didn't share any blood. Cindy told her it was because she loved Logan that she looked for him in their son. Like how when his hair had darkened over the winter months…She'd forgotten that Cale wouldn't actually grow up to look like Logan.

The similarities though made it easy to forget, the hair, the light eyes, the baby faces.

She smiled remembering back to telling one of the other mother's at school about Logan's surprise birthday dinner when she'd been planning her husband's.

"34?" The other woman turned in shock from watching the kids on the playground, "drives the Aztek? Dirty blonde hair? Glasses?" She repeated the information even though she knew he was the only possibility.

"That's him," Max nodded. 'Logan really does make an impression everywhere, gotta send Alec over here,' she thought with a smile.

The other woman pouted, "Thirty four? Really?" People didn't age like that anymore, looking good from your childhood to fifties and even beyond had been a thing of the Pre-Pulse world, not Post. People aged now. They aged rapidly. Her husband was thirty two and he appeared several years older than the single father that had been discussed in depth at the first PTA meeting and at a few play dates. A few had made their tries with him, all had failed. "If you tell me you're thirty-four too," the other mom finally responded with a 'don't you dare look.'

Max laughed, "No, definitely not, don't worry."

She smiled again, A truly beautiful pair.

-o-o-o-

"Hey that's not a toy," Max said swiping the pink grapefruit out of her son's hands as he attempted to roll it towards the yellow rose bud resting in the clear vase.

Neither of them mentioned the fact that they'd given each other a gift this year, a gift that was meant for wedding anniversaries, not…whatever they were. No mention of how jacked up the cost was on either of the gifts, especially the grapefruit which was months away from being in season.

A quick surge of pain tore through her as she imagined the grapefruit cut in two, frosted with sugar and the single bud resting on a breakfast tray.

This was supposed to be getting easier, not harder right?

She kept seeing everyone with their lives moving on the right track, or maybe it was just that they were moving, what direction was always questionable.

News of Logan's cousin's impending arrival had led to baby talk amongst the group. Zen and Vida actively talking about it, Alec actively avoiding it when Asha would try to talk about it.

Original Cindy had even dated a woman with a kid, which had once been high on her list to avoid, 'Everyone makes mistakes,' she said when Max had tried to question her about it.

Jeff had tried to question her about wanting more kids after he'd been duped into watching the offspring of their only successful relationship that had been bred from the breeding partners debacle. Not even questioning her about having them with him, just curiosity if she wanted Cale to have company like Caden and Jordan had, she'd had absolutely no idea. Kids had just gone along with Logan for so long.

Even Normal was wrapped up in this whole new world as a surrogate father to Dalton, Normal had been training him in the business over the school breaks, though it was obvious his plans for Dalton and Ronnie went way beyond that of Jam Pony.

Even Josh was dating; at least she assumed it was dating, not willing to question him on exactly what went on between him and Luna, one of the felines shockingly enough. Logan liked to say it meant anyone could come together if a cat and dog could fall in love; it was a good sign for the ordinaries and the transgenics to make peace.

Everyone seemed to be making real progress in their personal lives except her. She wasn't sure about Logan and she didn't want to know.

She just didn't know what steps she was supposed to take. She'd assumed that just getting into a relationship would lead to the next step, but it didn't. Instead they seemed to have frozen. She seemed to have frozen.

There were a list of things for her to follow when she thought about it; basic things that she knew would change her life. Spend time with Jeff and Cale together, allow her son to actually get to know the man who was in her life when he wasn't around, that was step one. Living together, having dreams together, making plans together, those were the steps that followed. Truthfully though, she wasn't sure she'd ever make it to step one.

One of these days I'm going to succeed in making a story/chapter coincide with the outline I have planned for it :-P (obviously that means like normal this chapter totally changed from planning to writing). I hoped you enjoyed, thanks for reading!