As always the note on why I hate the chapter (please notice that I did say I, I get to hate things, you don't have to agree with me…People are critical of their own things it's allowed :-P ):

Yea the end of this story is just not working for me. It's choppy, the characters are working for me and I think I may have screwed up my next chapter with this one (that last one always happens).

Aside from that, I hope you enjoy (hey it's at least a story and ML which seems to be rare lately. Posting has seriously declined by all. :-(

Oh and I think I lied, I don't think I'm making my year deadline. It'll be close to it though.

Maggieanne: computer troubles around your bday and the holidays that's just not fair (then again mine decided to go bust like the day before Christmas). Happy New Year to you as well and you can have another Happy Birthday as well (though I did leave you a happy birthday note over at DAR).

Chapter Seventy-Nine

The Past is Only the Past

It was late by the time she woke up.

Her head still pounding, her body achy from the position she'd fallen asleep in.

She caught sight of her reflection in a discarded piece of metal as she stood.

Frightening was an understatement. Her skin was blotchy, her eyes were red and puffy, her hair a tangled mess.

Apparently her quick recovery time applied only to being shot and not sobbing her eyes out for hours.

-o-o-o-

She slipped into a bar and fixed her appearance as best she could with a lot of cold water before finding her way to the safe house.

Another time.

Another place.

The scene had been the same though, his actions. Intently focused on finding the latest bad guy.

Could have been that time, but it wasn't.

That time was gone.

Their past wasn't part of their future.

Not like it could have been.

No more tears, she ordered herself.

"Anything new?" her voice was low, husky almost from the layers stripped from it crying.

His head jerked up and he stared at her for a moment before he spoke and she wondered by his expression if he could see what she had gone through, what she still was.

He didn't though.

"Where the hell have you been?"

What the fuck?

"You left your cell phone and your pager at Terminal City," he said standing.

"I needed some air," she defended.

"You needed some air for nine hours?" he questioned.

"I had a lot on my mind," her voice was even stronger this time.

"Join the club Max, but you see while you had a lot on your mind, I had a three year old who couldn't understand why his mother not only didn't show up when she promised to, but didn't call and didn't pick up any of the times he tried to call her."

Her heart took a plunge; she'd forgotten how she promised to come over.

"Thirty seconds Max. You needed to pick up a phone and dial and that's it. Let him hear your voice and say you're sorry. That was all you needed to do."

"He had you and Cindy," she pointed out.

"And Alec and Cassia, but none of us are you."

She couldn't remember the last time he'd been this mad at her. It had been another life. She drew power from that, "Well I'm sorry. I lost track of time, thought you could actually manage your own son for an evening, but apparently I was wrong. I'll do my best to make sure it never happens again," attitude dripped from her voice, just like that young girl she'd once been, the girl that didn't get hurt.

He scoffed and gave a quick shake of his head. "I cannot believe…" his voice trailed off and he shook his head in disbelief. "You know Max," he began, "you're not responsible for them anymore. They've been out for three years-"

"I let them out though Logan, that's never going to change." He had no idea the double meaning her words held. She was responsible for everything.

His gave another look of 'you've got to be kidding me' as he held in a sigh. "Go wake up Cale and Cindy, they probably think you're dead at this point."

Being dead doesn't hurt this much, she thought as she turned and headed towards the bedrooms.

-o-o-o-

Cale's eyes held a momentary surprise and joy that was uncommon to waking him up in the dead of the night. It didn't stay long, just a quick glimmer before it settled into a pout. "Where were you?"

"Good question boo," Original Cindy said with her eyes opening.

Max's eyes shot over to her friend quickly before returning to her son. "Fell asleep and lost track of the time." A hand brushed over her son's soft locks, "I'm sorry," she apologized as her eyes looked deep into his.

"You okay?"

She was at a complete loss hearing that come from her son, her mouth just opened a bit. "Yea," she nodded after a moment, "I'm fine. I'm sorry I was so late." A finger this time along his cheek as the rest of her hand cupped his face, "It's late, you should go back to bed."

He began to open his mouth, "But-"

"I'll see you tomorrow, I promise," she nodded and leaned down to kiss the top of his head and pull his sheets back up. "Goodnight?"

"Night," he answered confused.

"Night Max," OC nodded.

"Night," she said disappearing out of the room.

-o-o-o-

Max didn't even bother putting on a smile walking into the living room to see Logan and Cassia with their heads close in discussion over something….Blueprints, layouts, at least that's what it looked like to her.

"Got something," she asked.

Max wanted to punch the other female's lights out upon seeing her look up along with Logan. She was smart…clever, she knew how to appear innocent in Logan's eyes. Her expression was nothing out of the ordinary, but Max could see the smirk in her eyes.

"They hit a Wyoming power plant about four hours ago," Logan replied once more in control of his emotions.

Seems I'm not the only one reverting back to my old self, she thought along with the shock. Seriously every time she tried to take a few hours for herself…

"Cops on the-"

"Cops?" she cut off Logan, "you called the cops into this?" Seriously what the fuck was wrong with his head lately! These were her peeps, she'd take care of them. Did he not get what a fragile balance there was that existed between the transgenisc and everyone else. This would be the thing to send the whole house of cards tumbling down.

She watched his carefully held emotions and watched the temper flare behind those now fierce green eyes. "Max this is not a little problem, we mess this up hundreds of innocent people could die in the first round."

First round…Ordinaries attacked first, retaliation upon the transgenics, then they'd strike back…The cycle could keep going as long as there were more lives to lose.

"They have the three sketches, they don't know who they are, there are stations across the city where we have people listening to their frequency, if they're spotted or anything happens they can be there in a matter of minutes. We don't even know if they're going to strike here Max."

"Anything new on the group?"

"Nothing aside from their apparent superiority complex." The Compatriots apparently thought Americans were not only a superior nation, but they wanted a return to the old ways….The power they'd once had and they wanted it immediately.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" her voice softened for that, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't find any answers to any of her problems.

"Wait," Logan answered with a sigh and a shrug, "keep doing what we're doing, but I think it's up to them to show us their hand."

-o-o-o-

"Well look who decided to finally grace us with her presence," Alec greeted Max upon her arrival at TC almost two hours later in the dead of night. She'd planned to just stay at Logan's but found the tension to great within her to allow that, so she'd ditched her bike and just taken the sewers in.

"Don't start," was all she said as she walked over to Alec and Josh sitting on an old mustard yellow couch watching infomercials.

"Where little fella been?"

"Out thinking, then over at Logan's," she settled herself on the arm of the couch, there was still plenty of room left on the couch itself, but Joshua's personal hygiene hadn't improved much (and didn't need to) while living in TC. Then again she thought, sniffing down at herself, maybe she was getting a little fresh too after curling up amongst the debris at the Needle.

Alec sniffed over, "Yea you are smelling kinda ripe," and moved back. "I told you to shower this morning."

Seriously she wasn't that bad. She rolled her eyes.

"Space Needle?" he asked his eyes still trained on the tv.

"Just pop it in and watch it shake," Josh said with a loud guffaw after.

Max smiled at him and the infomercial catchphrase.

"So I don't suppose you came up with any ideas while you were up there?" Alec asked.

"Well added a few things to my 'to do list,' like move to Mexico."

Josh looked over for that with a worried face.

"Don't worry Big Fella, I'm just kidding."

"Good. How would Joshua get Little Debbies?"

"Hey I bring you them," Alec turned looking appalled.

"She gets the good ones…" his head vigorously. Then shaking his head "And Rita's…Too small, entire box disappears before Joshua can even get one."

Alec and Max both laughed at that, Rita always brought dainty little French pastries that were attacked by all her artists within minutes….no actually more like seconds.

She continued to sit there with them as they both called out the catchphrase every couple of minutes.

"Come on Maxie," Alec said sliding over a bit move and patting the seat next to him as he stretched his feet out on the coffee table. "Not like any of us are going to bed tonight."

She sighed and slid down next to him.

Not at all shockingly after so much time together Alec and Josh brought her, her first sense of peace in two days.

-o-o-o-

Early Evening:

"Hey look I'm sorry about yesterday," she said as she walked up behind Jeff who had an engine apart on the table in front of him.

"Don't bother Max, it's fine," he answered not looking up.

"I knew you'd understand," good old trustworthy stable Jeff.

He looked up briefly before his head turned back, "It's about Logan, it's always about Logan. It wasn't that hard to figure out."

Her mouth opened.

He turned, "Don't bother to deny it Max; I've known you too long. I also know when you stop saying his name it means something is normally up."

She'd say his name if it wasn't like sticking a knife in her heart.

"I give up Max," he shook his head and his attention turned back to the parts before him, "I really thought it wouldn't bother me. Turns out I was wrong. I can't be the third wheel in this relationship anymore."

"You're not-"

He turned again, "Maxie, they didn't make us dumb."

"Aren't we happy together?" her voice was almost trembling. If he left what else did she have? Who else was hers to love alone? Who was this pathetic person she'd become?

"I was. You wanted to be. You couldn't let yourself though," he nodded and focused again on his task. It had been leading to this for weeks, that tiny nagging voice that kept telling him to cut his losses became a full-fledged scream that followed him constantly.

"So that's it? We're just over?" she was outraged as she reeled from the shock of being rejected at the same time she was losing Logan for good.

He turned again, "Don't do this," he shook his head, "I'm doing the best thing I can for both of us."

"You just dumped me for no good reason," how the fuck was that in her best interest?

"No Max, I'm walking away because you're still in love with your ex and you're always going to be in love with your ex. I feel your pain Max, I really do. I get that you can't be with him, but don't ask me to just stand by and watch you constantly chasing after him."

"I don't-"

"Yea you do," he nodded. "You both do, you always have, you always will. Logan's girlfriend might be able to handle it, but I'm not going to, not anymore."

-o-o-o-

Time kept passing and everyone was preoccupied with trying to juggle the crisis at hand and their everyday life.

They continued to seek out every possibility. The most likely targets were staked out and people took shifts based upon their jobs.

Max and Original Cindy were the only ones who stopped going to theirs. Logan missed two days before telling Max he needed to return while he still had a job, she conceded on that fact and spent her days bumming with OC and Cale either at the safe house or Terminal City where Max managed to avoid most of Cindy's 'what's wrong' questions.

Gem kept Normal from losing it completely and firing them and everyone picked up their slack instead of being slackers like normal.

It was like living in limbo. They had no answers and there was nothing concrete they could do. Nothing to do but wait, so wait they did.

She hated waiting. Waiting meant plenty of time to think and reflect. An hour in her present state would have been too much…a week…A week seemed like an eternity in hell. A hell in which she had to be appear fine to all.

-o-o-o-

"Do you remember that day?" she asked as she joined Logan on the roof for some air.

He smirked, "Those would be hard days to forget."

She laughed, "I don't know, they all seem like one big blur once we got back here and then there was this…" she looked up at it. No longer the original, but it didn't feel any different.

He chuckled looking up at it with her, "I remember there were a few moments I thought my hand was going to lose circulation you were squeezing it so tight."

A slightly sheepish look, "A nation of freaks was a lot for a girl to take on."

He laughed again.

"I also knew that I was losing you," she tacked on and he silenced. She could feel him stiffen even though he was over a foot away. "All of my hope just left…It just disappeared.," She could see him out of the corner of her eye, that same look of guilt as his eyes betrayed that his lips didn't know whether to move or not. "Guess it would make sense that I would cling a little harder than normal. I didn't want to let you go," I still don't.

"Good thing you don't ever actually have to," he added trying to lighten the mood, though his posture still gave away his unease.

She shook her head and with a more Max like tone rolled her eyes and said, "You know what I mean."

An unsure smile crossed his face.

"We're still friends aren't we Logan?"

Pure shock was his reaction to that, "Max-" he began.

"You said that day in the sewers," there had been many days in the sewers, "the first day in the sewers; we were friends above everything else. Is that still true?" the words came out quickly, not too desperately, just quickly as she ripped off the bandage.

"Of course it's true," he turned and looked at her, "how can you even ask that?"

She turned away, "I don't know. Just feels like we lost it. Like we're exes, Cale's parents-"

He turned her back and she watched the change that had occurred in his eyes, that hesitation, the desire he'd had to just bolt from the rooftop was gone. Left in its place was the man who couldn't bear to see her hurt, not even for a second, "We're friends Max. I don't want you to ever doubt that for a second. I know things have been…weird," he frowned at his choice of a word and then shook it off, "we were trying to find a new balance Max. If it's not working, then we'll find a new one."

"No it's-"

He cut her off, "I still want to be the first person you come to when you have a problem, the person you think of when something funny happens and you can't wait to tell. I'm sorry if it seems like I don't, I do."

"Lo-"

He would have none of her interrupting him, "Everything I do, everything I've done is to try and keep this going. It's not perfect, I know that. Nothing in this situation can be, but I'm trying Max. Everyday, I'm trying. I don't want you to ever doubt that," his hands moved to cup her face and look deep into the now glossy eyes, she noticed his own held a slight shimmer. A moment of silence passed between them as they simply stared at each other. "Do you know what I was thinking when they raised the flag?" He paused for a second, "I realized you weren't going anywhere, we weren't going anywhere…" another pause, "I didn't need to be scared. You were still there, I could let go and you would still be there. We are never going to lose each other," a hand reached up and brushed her cheek, "I won't allow it. I promise you."

She shrugged and nodded before giving him an apologetic little smile, "This must be one of those girl things everyone's always talking about. I guess I just needed to hear it again."

He smiled, "I'll try to-"

They were cut off by the simultaneous ringing of their phones, they both frowned as their eyes shifted down and their hands went to them.