Chapter Five – Haunted
When all this time I've been so hollow inside . . .
His name is Severus . . . Severus Snape . . . I'm his—his friend . . . He's hurt . . . Please . . . Please help him . . .
The words rang like an echo in the waking man's mind. He didn't remember hearing them, but they were etched there in his head, refusing to go away.
He's hurt . . . Please help him . . .
Automatically, he reached up to his neck. As he thought about it, he remembered the snake bite, and the woman healing him. He remembered it taking so long he didn't think his health would ever be restored. His memory wasn't impaired completely, but there seemed to be holes in it. Had he been Obliviated? Perhaps by someone not entirely skilled at magic?
He opened his eyes slowly, unsure of what he would find. Was he still in the underground sanctuary his mysterious saviour had created for him? Somehow, he doubted it, and knew that he'd moved on from that place, but he couldn't remember leaving.
His instincts were correct; his eyes did not meet the sight of brown earth, but sterile white. Everything around him bore the blank, bright colour, from the walls and ceiling to the gown he was wearing. Next to him, a silver instrument pumped liquid into his arm. He'd been in a place like this only once before—when his drunken father had been knocked out in a bar fight, forced to spend a week in a place just like this. It was a Muggle hospital, he knew immediately, but his memory of getting there was blank. The last thing he remembered was deciding to get up out of his sick bed and trying to walk, with little success.
Just then, the door opened. A short woman dressed in blue entered, carrying a board of some sort and a pen. Her eyes opened wide at the sight of him looking at her.
"Doctor Smythe!" she yelled over her shoulder, "You'd better come in here!"
She approached his bedside hastily. "Mr. Snape. It's so good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"
"Who are you?" he answered.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "My name is Heidi, and I'm your nurse. Doctor Smythe will be in shortly to fill you in." She then began to poke and prod him with an assortment of unfamiliar instruments, intermittently pausing to write something down on a piece of paper that was fastened to the board she had carried in.
A moment later, a balding man in a white coat entered the room. He reached forward for Severus' hand, shaking it firmly. "Mr. Snape! It's great to see you awake. I'm Doctor Smythe."
"So I've been told," Severus said dryly.
The doctor frowned. "Er… Heidi, could you give Mr. Snape and me some privacy? I'd like to speak to him alone for a moment."
"Of course, doctor," said the nurse, before leaving. The door closed softly behind her.
"Mr. Snape, I understand you must be confused. You've been through a lot, but we're going to make you as comfortable as possible. In a few minutes, we'll start running some tests to make sure everything is still normal. But I'd like to talk to you first. Now, can you tell me what you remember about why you're here? Anything at all? In cases like these, we almost never hear of a patient waking after such an ordeal."
Severus complied reluctantly. "I remember I was ill. I was bitten by a snake, here." He pointed to his neck. "I was resting . . . at home." His lie was a small one, but he didn't know how much these people had been told about his condition, and he didn't want to risk telling the wrong story. "I was resting at home and I tried to get up and take a walk. I remember falling. That is all."
The doctor looked extremely happy. "That's almost exactly what happened to you," he said. "But you weren't at home when you fell. Can you remember where else you might have been?"
"No. Why does it matter?"
"It doesn't, really. I just wanted to know if you remembered who brought you here. In any case, your memory seems to be just fine, if not for a little fogginess, but that's to be expected. I suspect you'll be feeling great in a few days."
Severus highly doubted this. He couldn't remember what it was like to feel 'great' at all.
The doctor continued his rambling. "A woman brought you here. She said you were at her house when you fell, and she was so worried about you. I remember it vaguely, as I never spoke with her myself, but we all found it odd that she'd been so worried, and then never once came to visit you."
"I'm sure she has more important things to do," said Severus, feeling slightly dejected.
"Mr. Snape," the doctor practically interrupted, "There's something I need to tell you."
Severus raised an eyebrow at him, wondering if the doctor was going to tell him he was dying. At this point, he didn't think anything was really going to shock him.
"Go on," he said impatiently.
"Mr. Snape, can you tell me what year it is?"
"Nineteen-ninety-eight?" Severus responded curiously.
The doctor shook his head. "I was afraid of that. You see, it's actually two-thousand-ten now. You've been in a coma for the past twelve years."
The next week was spent in the Muggle hospital, much to Severus' disappointment. After the initial shock, the news of the time he'd spent unconscious actually made him more curious than anything. Of course, he hated the thought of losing twelve years of his life, but it wasn't as if he'd lived a satisfactory life. The woman who had saved him had told him that his name hadn't been cleared, and who knew how long that must have taken? At least he hadn't been forced to stand trial. He'd take twelve years unconscious over twelve years in Azkaban any day.
On the third day, Heidi the nurse had entered his room with a large envelope. She said that the woman had left it for him, with strict instructions that no one but he should open it. After the nurse left, he broke the seal, which had obviously been charmed to stay closed—the Muggles wouldn't have been able to open it if they'd tried. Inside it, he found one last note from the woman, a small pouch full of gold, and to his delight, his wand.
Severus,
I don't know how much you remember, so I'll fill you in. I left you to go get more supplies, and when I got back, I found you at the entrance to the tunnel. A group of Dementors were there, and they were nearly about to finish you off for good. I was so afraid that I was too late.
The event seemed to drain you completely, which is understandable. Your body wasn't able to cope with it, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get you to wake up. I waited as long as I could but I had to take you to a hospital, and St. Mungo's wasn't an option. Please forgive me, as I had no choice.
I've left you all the money I had available, as I don't know exactly what you'll need. There's no need to think of repaying me. Please, take it as a gift from a friend.
The note said nothing else, and gave no explanation for her disappearance. Severus supposed that she felt her job was done with him, and she had therefore taken her leave. He tried not to let it bother him, but he couldn't help but wonder exactly what had happened to her.
He was sure he wouldn't find rest until he knew, and so, when he was released on the seventh day since he'd awoken, he set out to find the woman who had saved his life. Using a long, blond hair he'd found in the bag of gold and a tracking spell he'd used countless times during his time as a spy, he set off on his journey with full intent to find her.
The tracking was more complicated than he'd remembered, however, and after a few days of turning up with nothing and sleeping rough, he took another approach. He decided to Apparate to common wizarding areas—under disguise, of course—and use the spell to see if there was any hint of her there.
After a few nonproductive attempts, he ended up in Hogsmeade Village, near The Hog's Head. He doubted he'd have any luck, but knew he had to give it a try. To his great surprise, he found his wand nudging him toward High Street. As he walked down the alley with anticipation, he took in the differences the village had acquired in the years that had passed. Madam Puddifoot's seemed vacant, with its windows boarded up, and next to it there was a small bookshop that read Prewett & Hollingsworth over the door. He wondered how long it had been there, and concluded he'd need to visit it someday, if indeed his name had been cleared.
Just then, a group of people came out of the bookshop, and Severus quickly hid behind Dervish & Banges. He watched the group walk down High Street, toward Hogwarts, and a blue cloak caught his attention. If he wasn't mistaken, it looked very similar to the one his mystery woman had worn, and his heart gave a small jump at this news.
The weather was cold, so the wearer of the cloak had the hood up, and Severus couldn't tell if it was her. He supposed that it could be her, as her walk seemed familiar, but he was probably just experiencing wishful thinking.
Suddenly, the wind blew harder, and a piece of parchment slipped out of the cloaked figure's grasp. She turned to catch it, and he saw immediately that she was not the woman he'd been trying to find. Her features were too different, and even twelve years couldn't change a person's appearance that much. They did, however, have an air of familiarity, but Severus couldn't put his finger on it until the woman's hood slid down to reveal a mass of brown curls. It was Hermione Granger, though she was much older than the last time he'd seen her. No longer was she the buck-toothed student he'd known. Her hair wasn't as frizzy, and her face had softened into a flattering shape, with large eyes and a small bump of a nose. Severus found himself practically staring at her in disbelief. Time had treated her well.
Soon, however, the group had disappeared, and Severus was left alone again, able to return to his mission. Using the spell once more, his wand pointed him toward Hogwarts. Not wanting to follow the group so quickly, he opted not to take the street. He walked behind the businesses, taking his time to appreciate the view. He could almost see the Black Lake across the way, now and then. Something seemed to get in the way, but he supposed it was just a new building. As he approached it, however, he saw that it was not a building, but something else entirely.
What he found was a vast wall, with names and pictures carved all over it. When he was close enough to have a proper look, he discovered that it was a memorial, built to honour those who had valiantly lost their lives in the war. The amount was astounding. He saw many names he recognized: Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Colin Creevey, Fred Weasley . . . each had a picture and a description of the person being honoured. Just behind the wall, in the shadow of the forest, he could see a small cemetery, where no doubt, the bodies of the fallen laid.
He stared at the wall, absorbing the impact it had on him. He hadn't even liked any of these people, but he couldn't help but feel a small bit of respect for some of them. After all, they had died so that he could have this second chance at life, even if they didn't know it.
Just as he was about to leave, he noticed his own name on the wall, on the far left. Under a picture of him, it said:
Severus Snape
(Body never recovered.)
This man was a spy for the light, cast into darkness.
He was a true hero, and Dumbledore's man,
through and through. He fought to the very end.
May his spirit find peace.
Severus swallowed hard. An unexpected lump had formed in his throat, betraying him. He was not one for sentiment, especially directed toward himself, but he couldn't deny it felt good to be respected. After all, his dying wish had been that someone would care about him, and it was apparent it had come true in this small way. But Severus had a feeling that Potter had had something to do with this, and he sneered at the thought. However, he was relieved that he'd obviously been cleared by the Ministry, even if Potter was the one to make sure he had been.
Deciding it was time to go, he performed the spell once again, and his wand flew out of his hand. It landed on the ground near the other end of the wall, and he hurried to pick it up and give it another try. He must have done something wrong when he said the incantation.
He bent to reach his wand, and as he stood up, he came face to face with the image of the woman who had rescued him. Just like the others, her likeness and a short description was carved into the wall. Unlike them, however, there was no name. Beneath her face, it read:
Unknown soul
This was a woman with a valiant spirit.
She courageously jumped in front of a curse
in order to save the lives of many.
She will be remembered for her honourable sacrifice.
Severus drew in a sharp breath. After everything she'd gone through to save his life, she hadn't even been able to save her own. Solemnly, he vowed to put a name to the face, whatever it took. She had given him the gift of life; she, more than anyone, deserved to be remembered.