Chapter Six – Tourniquet

Am I too lost to be saved?

Severus made his way to the other side of the wall, where the graves of those who gave their lives for the greater good lay in rows. He took in the sight of it, not knowing how to feel. His own body had come frighteningly close to resting there as well, and he never thought that he'd be grateful that it wasn't. Once upon a time, death had been so welcome that he thought he'd never want anything else. Now, despite everything he'd gone through, he did want something else. He wanted to start over.

Unsure of how he could do that, Severus realised he didn't know where to go next. His mission to find the woman had come to such an abrupt end, and he hadn't planned his next step yet. Instinct pulled him toward Hogwarts—he'd spent most of his life there, and it felt more like home than anywhere. But before making any decisions for his future, he set out to find the woman's grave.

A footstep sounded behind him, and he turned to meet the sight of Hermione Granger once more. Feeling exposed, he quickly tugged on his hood, covering his face from view.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't know anyone was here."

He nodded casually in response, not wanting to start a conversation.

"Do you come here often?" she persisted.

"No," he said softly, and then he turned away, getting back to his task. He didn't need any distractions.

He walked through the rows of graves, reading the names as he went. Near the end of the third row, under the shade of a large tree, he found what he was looking for. The headstone was plain, bearing nothing more than the mark 'Unknown Soul' and the date of death. It was the only one like it in the whole cemetery, so it had to be hers. Severus knelt down before it and conjured a single white rose, placing it on the grave.

"That's a nice gesture."

Severus looked up at the woman who didn't seem to understand the concept of solitude. He gave her a cold stare in response. Who was she to interrupt his private musings?

"Nobody ever visits her grave," she continued. "I mean . . . no one except me."

Severus had to admit this information piqued his interest. "Oh?" he said, still kneeling before the headstone. "Why?"

"I suppose it's because no one else does."

"How considerate of you," he replied, somewhat sardonically, then decided to change the subject. She didn't seem to know anything about the woman, so his curiosity had faded. His interest in the events of the past twelve years, however, had not. "I suppose you work at the school, then."

"Me? Oh, no, I don't. A friend of mine does, and I visit him often."

Severus wondered if she meant Potter or Weasley, not knowing which scenario was worse. He couldn't picture either dunderhead making a sufficient enough teacher, and he began to worry about the welfare of Hogwarts' current students.

"Ah. Well, forgive me, but I've got to be going on my way now." He stood, and turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm.

"I'm afraid we haven't introduced ourselves," she said, releasing her grip, and Severus' heart began beating faster. "I'm Hermione Granger. I work for the Ministry." She held out her hand.

He didn't take it, and didn't know what to say. He'd been planning on 'returning from the dead' at some point, but not like this. Before she could say anything else, he turned to leave. But as he was going, he caught sight of her crestfallen expression.

"Do I know you?" she said curiously, putting her hand away. "It's just . . . you seem so familiar."

"I—I'm afraid not," he lied, and then walked away before she could say anything else. His heart was pounding, and he had to take in several deep breaths before he felt normal again. Why had she affected him like that? Was it her specifically, or was it simply the act of talking to someone who had once known him? Would every interaction leave him this way?

Deciding there was only one way to find out, he made his way up to Hogwarts. To his satisfaction, the gates still seemed to recognise him, and he was able to enter without any problems. He'd wondered if any protections had been put into place since the last time he'd been there, given the nature of what had happened. If there had, though, he didn't notice them.

As he approached the castle, he realised he didn't know who the current headmaster or headmistress was. He'd assumed it would be Minerva, but he had no way of knowing for sure. He began to doubt his plan, and hastily hid behind what he presumed was still Hagrid's hut. He sat down, unable to believe what he was doing. When did he become so reckless? He'd once been one of the best spies known to the wizarding world, and now he was out wandering around heedlessly, without even Disillusioning himself. He'd thought that the past twelve years hadn't affected him, but he was obviously wrong. The former Severus Snape would never be caught in this situation.

Suddenly, the door to the hut opened, and he hastened to cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself. He could hear two voices coming from the entryway, and he strained to listen.

"Well, thanks fer everythin', Professor," said the first, clearly belonging to Rubeus Hagrid.

"Anytime, Hagrid," said the second, with a Scottish lilt, definitely Minerva's. Severus drew a breath of relief. "If there is a next time, however, do make sure to call before your teapot explodes."

"O'course, Professor. G'night."

"Goodnight, Hagrid."

The giant of a man closed his door loudly, giving Severus the chance to get up and follow Minerva without her notice. She was making her way up to the castle, and Severus was unsure if he should continue following her or not. He didn't want to scare her, and he especially didn't want to be thrown off the grounds. Just as they approached the entrance, however, Minerva took a sudden turn toward the forest. Curious, he followed. When they reached the edge, she continued until she was hidden behind a tree, and then turned so abruptly that he nearly ran into her.

"All right, Severus. Come out."

Astonished, he removed the Disillusionment.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked, eyes wide.

"I saw you out the window," she replied, "I could spot you anywhere, Severus, and I could hear you walking behind me. I'm afraid your stealth skills are not what they once were." Her tone was kind, and she gave him a small smile. Bewildered, Severus continued interrogating her.

"And you're not surprised to see me? Haven't I been presumed dead for the past twelve years?"

"Yes, but Albus told me you were alive—or rather, his portrait did. He also told me to keep an eye out for you, though I didn't think it would take you this long to show up."

"I've been busy," he said, not at all surprised that the meddling old fool was still interfering in his affairs, even in death. "And I don't suspect anyone missed me, in any case."

Minerva gave him a sad sort of smile. "Oh, Severus," she said with a sniffle, then wrapped him in the first real hug he'd had in years. Severus was too startled to do anything but accept it.

News of Severus' return to the wizarding world spread like wildfire. People from all over sent him owls either welcoming him back, or expressing sincere apologies about doubting him in the past. He hardly knew what to do with himself, and found that he did not like being in the spotlight at all, never once answering a letter. Thankfully, he was able to avoid direct contact with his devotees as he was staying at Hogwarts for the time being, under Minerva's orders. She had even spoken to him about taking up his old place as Potions Master the following September—Slughorn had kept the post for a few years, but had retired once more, and the position had been hard to fill for more than a year or two at a time. As it was only February, he had plenty of time to think about it, but even he had to admit his hands were itching to get back to brewing, and—he could barely believe it—teaching.

It turned out that it was Potter that worked at Hogwarts now. He was the Defence teacher, and had been for the past four years. Severus' worry for the students was only increased by this news, but he did his best not to show it—so well, in fact, that he felt he deserved at least an Order of Merlin, Third Class, for the effort alone.

Weasley, it seemed, was a well-known Quidditch player for England, and Granger not only worked for the Ministry—she was an Unspeakable. Rumor had it she was working on mending something that had been destroyed years before in the Department of Mysteries. Minerva was convinced it had something to do with the prophecies that had been destroyed when the trio and their friends had infiltrated the Ministry their fifth year.

Severus was forced to listen to such opinions and more each day over meals. Minerva wouldn't hear of him eating alone, much to his frustration. She had seated him between herself and Potter, unfortunately, and Severus began to wonder if their mouths had been hexed open. Each day he grew more annoyed with the constant chattering, but he secretly appreciated hearing about what he'd missed in the time he'd been comatose.

Unfortunately, even with all they seemed to know about everyone and everything, they didn't seem to know anything about the woman who had saved him—not that he'd told them much about her. Telling people felt like a betrayal of some sort, and he kept their time together a secret, feigning interest in the unmarked grave itself.

On one particularly sunny morning, Severus skived off the brewing he'd started doing for the hospital wing and made his way back down to the gravesite. He'd still had no leads, and he thought another visit couldn't hurt, especially since he'd be alone this time.

When he arrived, the place was deserted, as he'd hoped. He made his way down the third row and approached the woman's tombstone. The flower he had conjured was still there, though it had wilted significantly. He removed it, replacing it with a fresh one.

"Back again?"

He couldn't believe it. Was she always going to show up when he did? He turned around to face her, and she gasped.

"I knew it," she said.

"Knew what?"

"The last time we met here, and your face was practically covered up by your hood, I told you that you seemed familiar . . . well, afterward, when I thought about it, I realised that you reminded me of a professor I'd once had, but I couldn't be sure without actually seeing your face. Then Harry told me about your arrival, but I still wasn't sure. It seems I was more right than I'd thought."

"Unfortunately," he said, his voice dripping with scorn.

"Don't say that," she replied softly. "Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it?"

"If you say so."

"I do say so. I believe it, anyway. So, what's your reason for coming here? Why this grave?"

Severus sighed. He wasn't about to share that much information with her. "Suffice it to say that I have a . . . connection with this unknown soul."

"I see," she said politely.

"And what is your reason for accosting me each time I pay this grave a visit?" he sneered.

She chuckled. "Suffice it to say that I also have a connection with her."

He couldn't resist. "What kind of connection?" he asked, desperate to find out anything about the woman that he could.

"I'll tell you if you tell me. Deal?"

"I hardly think so."

"Well, alright then. Goodbye, Professor Snape."

She started walking away, and Severus thought quickly. Granger had information about his mystery woman, and so far, she'd been the only one who did. Regretfully, he couldn't pass the chance to find out more.

"Wait," he called, "Alright, we have a deal."

She smiled back at him.

"Excellent. I've got to go meet Harry for lunch now, then I'm off to the Ministry. I won't be back until next week at the earliest. Why don't we meet for drinks and discuss? How about The Three Broomsticks, next Friday, seven o'clock?"

Severus nodded his agreement. "Fine. Seven, Friday."

"See you then," she said, smiling as she went.