Chapter Ten – My Last Breath
Can you feel me in your arms?
She was gone. Severus stared at the tombstone in front of him in disbelief. Unknown Soul . . . 15 May 1998 . . .
She hadn't even lived two weeks after she saved him. It felt strange, knowing it had all happened in the past. Hermione had just left moments ago, about to go save him, but that had happened twelve years ago. Nevertheless, it still felt like she was alive, like there was a chance she could survive after all, and show up any second. Though he knew it was impossible, he couldn't help but keep an eye out for her.
Severus spent the next two weeks avoiding the vial. He'd set it up on a shelf, just out of reach, though he knew he needed to view the memories contained inside. He felt like he couldn't, though, not until the day of her death. He knew it didn't make any sense, but each day he counted off another day until she died, in some sort of morbid game.
Finally, on the evening of the fifteenth day of May, he gave in. The memories swirled in his Pensieve, beckoning him. He plunged his head into the vessel, preparing to say goodbye.
He was taken to the place where the cemetery should be, but there wasn't a grave in sight. Hermione, in disguise, appeared next to him, then ran toward the forest. When they were safely hidden from view, she fell to her knees and began to sob. Severus reached for her, but as she was only a memory, she couldn't feel his touch. After a few moments, she straightened up, a look of determination blazing across her face. She Disillusioned herself, and then made her way to the Whomping Willow.
The castle was quiet; things hadn't escalated yet. Severus remembered the night well, however, and knew that she didn't have much time. She took the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack, but just before the entrance, she began creating a tunnel off to the side with her wand. Severus recognised the tunnel he'd been kept in while he was healing, but it didn't make any sense—the tunnel he'd been in had lead to the Forbidden Forest, not the Shrieking Shack.
The memory shifted, and they were in a dark room. Severus wasn't sure of their location, but then he heard a voice . . . a very familiar voice. They were in the Shrieking Shack.
"Why doesn't it work for me, Severus?" Voldemort's cold tone said.
A shiver ran down his back. He knew what was coming . . . the memory shifted again, though, and suddenly they were walking into the room where he'd almost died.
It was an odd experience, seeing himself lying on the floor, covered in blood. He could definitely say it wasn't one of his finer moments. He turned to watch Hermione, and saw her slink into the shadows. Her face was twisted into a grimace, as if she were in horrible pain. She bit her knuckle, trying not to scream.
Severus stood with Hermione as Potter, Weasley, and the younger Hermione entered the room. He watched himself give Potter the memories, then look into his eyes. The trio left quickly, thankfully, and Hermione rushed over to his seemingly dead body. She began a series of complicated healing spells, all the while forcing antivenin down his throat. She was shaking, wiping tears that were dripping down to her nose.
She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, then placed a levitation charm on his body. Slowly, she moved him out of the room and into the tunnel leading to the Whomping Willow, and from there, into the tunnel she made herself. But it was different than he remembered; the direction was all off.
She brought him to the room she'd made for him, and conjured the cot before gently placing him on it. She looked at him with such compassion, but there was a fear there, too.
After a long wait, in which Hermione had walked around the room several times muttering, and had conjured a bedside table, Severus' body stirred. But Hermione was pacing at the foot of the bed, and by the time she reached him, he'd attempted to sit up and had fallen unconscious once again. She began to cry.
"I'm not going to fail you, Severus. I promise. I promise . . ." she said.
The memory changed again, and Severus went with Hermione as she left the dark sanctuary, after placing a note and his wand on the bedside table. Suddenly, they were in a Muggle bakery, though he wasn't sure how they'd got there. Perhaps the protections on the castle weren't in place and she'd been able to Apparate.
It was dark, and obviously closed, but Hermione seemed to know her way around the place. She took a few things, including a small cake, leaving money on the counter.
Then they were back in the tunnel room, and he noticed that his other self was sitting up.
"You're awake. It worked!" she said, smiling wide. He watched the other Severus glare at her, remembering well the shock of seeing this woman he'd never met.
The memory shifted once more, playing a series of moments quickly: Hermione in her own little room, looking extremely frustrated, then closing up the part of the tunnel that lead to the Shrieking Shack and creating a new exit into the forest, visiting another bakery, stroking his hair while he was sleeping . . .
It slowed down again, and he watched as Hermione saved his other self from the Dementors, this time hearing everything she'd said, rather than the bits and pieces he remembered.
She ran toward him after she'd fought them off.
"Severus!" she screamed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was sobbing.
"Dementors! But they're gone now. Gone. I thought they'd . . . your soul . . . it's okay, you're safe . . . you're safe . . ." She was stroking the back of his head, but his body didn't know it—he'd passed out.
Another shift and they were at the Muggle hospital he'd woken up in. His body was lying on some kind of rolling cot, and Hermione had her hand on his.
"His name is Severus . . . Severus Snape . . . I'm his—his friend . . . He's hurt . . . Please . . . Please help him . . ." she was saying, almost in a trance. The Muggle healers were wheeling him away, and then he was gone, and she was left standing there alone. She sniffled, then made her way out the door.
He watched her return to Hogwarts, and again a series of short moments began flickering. She was stalking her younger self, at a number of different moments, but never seemed to be able to get her alone. Severus noticed that the castle was slowly returning to its former glory as the memories went on, pleased to see the amount of people dedicated to restoring it.
Finally, she cornered the younger Hermione, and told her story.
"Please," she begged, "Trust me. You're the only one who can save him. I know it sounds crazy, but it's the truth. I wouldn't come to you if I didn't have to. But I can't let him die. I love him."
Severus gasped. It wasn't exactly news, but he'd never heard her say it before. It had all seemed like something he'd made up in his head until now.
Just then, everything went dark. Severus didn't know where they were, but then he heard Hermione mutter something and her wand light flooded his eyes. She was at Hogwarts, in an empty classroom. She held out a vial and placed her wand at her temple.
"This is for you, Severus," she said aloud. "It's not going to be easy to watch, but . . . I think it will bring closure."
She pulled a memory from her skull and placed it in the vial, and then the scene changed for the final time.
It was different this time, because the memory was the younger Hermione's. He sat with her as she took a break from cleaning up the remnants of the broken castle. She was alone, he noted, and looked as if she hadn't slept in days. She closed her eyes for a moment, but a noise nearby brought them wide open.
Severus recognised Mulciber walking toward her, almost gleefully. The other Hermione, in disguise, was close behind.
"It isn't safe out, girl," he said. "Didn't your mum tell you not to go anywhere alone?"
She reached for her wand, but in horror, was unable to find it. Her fear-stricken eyes searched in vain.
Mulciber smiled then raised his wand. "Imperio," he said, pointing it at her, but the other Hermione rushed forward and met the curse before it could strike the girl.
The young Hermione tried to run off, seemingly in search of help, but Mulciber cast a full body bind at her. She fell to the ground, forced to watch the Death Eater's sadistic game.
Mulciber stood over the disguised Hermione as the curse apparently forced her to the ground. Severus watched in horror as she took out her own wand and pointed it at herself. He saw her struggle to break free of the Imperius, but it was too strong.
She cast the Unforgiveable on herself and Severus watched as the light left her eyes. He ran to her, though he knew it would do no good. But just as he reached out to touch her, the memory ended and he lifted his head out of the Pensieve.
Author's Note: To everyone wondering how the curse worked on Hermione, here is my explanation. In order to use an Unforgivable, you have to really mean it. Here, though Hermione did not want to die, she was prepared to sacrifice herself for Severus. She knew she couldn't create a paradox without disastrous results and so she was able to curse herself knowing, in a way, that it had already happened.