Hi I'm back! Thank you all so incredibly much for your wonderful feedback! I wasn't sure how people would like it; I've been working on this story for a week and figured it was about time I got others' input. But your kind words were greatly, greatly appreciated! Thank you so much! Also thanks for the follows, the favorites, all that. Even if you couldn't review, I know you're there reading! ;) On to chapter two!

Now I find weddings to be extremely boring to write, so I just gave it some exposition. Apologies if that's what you were expecting, but don't worry, I've got plenty more up my sleeve! The chapter title is once again from the song "The Gambler" by Fun. It's a great song; have you listened yet? :P Thank you for reading/reviewing/following/favoriting and I hope you enjoy this chapter too! If you don't, no hard feelings, I promise. :D

all the kids have bloomed from babies into flowers in our eyes

They get married in early April and much like the night they got engaged, it rains. There's a constant drizzle being emitted from the thick clouds above them and it moves their outdoor ceremony indoors. Spencer nearly has to be carried from the limo in order to keep her flowing white gown from the dangerous waters of the puddles on the ground. The florist brings tulips instead of the calla lilies they wanted and the caterer is forty-five minutes late to the reception. But Spencer doesn't let any of this get to her; there will be time enough for anger later. Because when her father takes her arm, leads her down the hall and towards the start of the red-carpeted aisle, she's feeling a million things at once and there isn't room for anger. And when the music crescendos and the crowd stands and her heart is pounding so loud she feels the vibrations to her very core, the only thing Spencer focuses on is Toby, who's waiting for her at the end of the aisle with the same elated grin on his face as is mirrored on hers. She feels nothing more than pure, unadulterated bliss.

A month later, she receives her master's degree in behavioral psychology and announces to her friends and family that she will be returning to Columbia to complete her doctoral degree. Everyone wonders what this means for Toby and for their relationship, but neither one sees this as much of an issue. They're married now; he's of course moving to New York with her. The program will take about two years, three years maximum, and honestly, they are both looking forward to the escape from Rosewood. Once the logistics are out of the way, everyone feels as though they can adequately celebrate. Even Melissa offers her tight-lipped congratulations, somehow managing to keep her jealousy at bay. Her parents cannot stop gushing over how proud they are of her and if Spencer ever wondered whether or not their parental feelings were genuine, she now wonders no more. The celebration lasts long into the night, long after everyone has gone home, and later, Spencer wonders if maybe they partied just a little too hard.

By the end of May, they've begun to pack up the things in the loft in preparation for their move to New York. Toby stretches a strip of packing tape over one of the boxes and says, "I know it's strange, but I'm actually going to miss this place. It was my first real home, you know?"

"Yeah," Spencer replies, distracted. "Yeah, it's definitely going to be a change."

"What time are you meeting the girls today?" He asks, wrapping a handful of plates in newspaper.

"Um… soon," She says. "Actually, I should probably head out if I don't want to be late. Would you kill me if I left now?"

"And left me to pack the rest of the kitchen?" He questions. "No, go for it. I just hope you don't expect the boxes to be organized by your standards. I'm sure you'll have to repack everything when you get back."

Spencer smiles and shakes her head a bit, snatching her purse off of the coffee table. He gives her a quick kiss goodbye and then she's out the door. Alison's been all over the country since the moment they graduated high school and honestly, know one really knows her whereabouts. But the others are glad to meet for lunch at the Grille, just like old times. Hanna talks endlessly about the boutique and her adventures with Caleb, whom she'd married straight out of undergrad in the most dramatic wedding Spencer's ever attended. Emily has stories about the victories her swim team has brought her and brings up her back-on-again relationship with Paige, and none of the girls are very surprised. Aria, of course, has pursued her dream of teaching by acquiring a master's in English education and talks of this and this only, because she knows the other girls are wary of her relationship with Ezra. Despite it being legal now, the others never truly did forgive him for his earlier transgressions.

"I applied to schools all over the area," Aria says. "We'll see where I end up. Who knows if I'll even stay in Rosewood?"

"Wait, you applied to Rosewood High, right?" Emily wonders. "I can get you in no problem. I've kind of got some influence over there."

"Yeah I did and I would love to work with you, Em," Aria tells her. "But I don't think I really want to end up back where everything started."

"Why not? If you really wanted to get away from it all, you should have left Rosewood," Hanna counters, nodding towards Spencer. "Like Spence. She's moving to New York and completely leaving us."

"It's not permanent," Spencer assures her. "I just need my PhD."

"You say that like it's the most casual thing in the world," Hanna smirks. "'I just need my PhD and maybe while I'm there I'll discover the cure for AIDS and orbit the sun!'"

"She's not studying medicine," Aria laughs. "Or rocket science, for that matter."

The others chuckle along with her but when Spencer merely smiles in response, Emily asks, "What's wrong? You're not excited about your big move?"

"It's not that," Spencer shakes her head. "It's just gotten much more complicated than I expected."

"Why?" Aria wonders. "You didn't have any trouble finding an apartment, did you?"

"No, no we didn't."

"Does Toby not want to move to New York?" Emily probes. "You'd think he'd be dying to get out of this town."

"It's not Toby," Spencer insists. "He's more excited than I am."

"Then what?" Hanna teases. "Are you pregnant?"

The other two shoot her a look but Spencer bites her lip. "A little bit."

"Wait, what?" Aria exclaims and a triumphant look comes over Hanna's face.

"I knew it," She grins. "I know you, Spencer. Every time I say what I'm thinking, it's always 'Shut up, Hanna! Shut up, Hanna!' Well guess what, Emily, Aria? Today you were wrong and I was right. How does that feel?"

Emily rolls her eyes. "Shut up, Hanna."

"Okay, I just found out yesterday and I'm freaking out because this is going to change everything," Spencer unravels. "Toby and I haven't even talked about having kids, not even once. I mean for all I know he doesn't even want them! And how am I supposed to take on a full course load or complete my dissertation or study for exams with a baby? A baby!"

"Okay, you need to take a breath," Aria tells her. "It's not the end of the world. I doubt you're the first pregnant woman to get a PhD."

"Also I doubt Toby's just going to up and leave you when you tell him," Emily offers. "He's not that kind of person. He loves you."

"You should name the baby after me," Hanna suggests and when the other two stare pointedly at her, she backtracks. "What? I was just trying to lighten the mood."

Spencer laughs. "Thanks, Han."

When she returns home, nerves still unsettled in her stomach, she finds Toby still in the kitchen, running his hand under the sink. It isn't until after he wraps a paper towel around his palm and it becomes saturated with his blood that she realizes he's injured himself. "Oh my god, what did you do?"

"Spence? When did you get home?" He asks instead of giving her an answer. "I didn't even hear you come in."

She peels the paper towel away and inspects the wound. "Oh, it's not that deep. Let me get the peroxide."

When she returns, Toby explains, "The box opener slipped and decided to open my skin instead."

Spencer smirks and watches the peroxide fizz and bubble over the cut. When it dies down, she places a bandage over his hand in replacement. "You're having a rough week."

"Yeah," He agrees, heading to the living room to collapse on the couch. "I'm beginning to think this move just might kill me."

She follows suit and sits gently beside him. "Can I ask you something? And you have to promise not to freak out."

"Oh god," He groans. "Whenever you preface something with that-"

"No, it's not bad," She assures him. "Just… Please promise me."

Toby takes one of her hands and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I do. I promise."

"Do you want kids?"

He chuckles a bit and asks, "That's what you thought I'd freak out about? It's not that crazy of a question."

She bites her lip. "I guess not."

"I mean, I guess so, yeah. Someday," Toby answers. "Kids are great, so eventually, I guess I'd want kids. I mean, in the future…"

Her eyes begin to well with tears and Toby immediately panics. "I'm sorry. Is that not the answer you wanted?"

"No, your answer's fine, it's just… What if 'someday' is sooner than 'someday'?" She asks. "Like… what if it's only in a handful of months?"

Realization dawns on him and even though he knows, he still implores, "Spence, are you pregnant?"

She nods slowly. "Kind of."

"Oh," He says and after a beat, "Well I can honestly say I didn't think that was going to happen so fast."

"Me either," She sighs, wiping at her eyes. "Everything just got infinitely harder. I mean there's no way we can do this. Not with everything else on our plates-"

"Hey, hey, yes we can," Toby disagrees. "We're not teenagers; we didn't get knocked up at band camp. We're adults, we're married... Of course we can do this. It's you and me, Spence; we can do anything."

"We can?" Spencer asks, still a bit hesitant.

"Yeah," Toby nods. "It'll be great. Think about it! We'll have a little miniature version of ourselves running around. We're going to be parents, Spence. It's going to be amazing."

"So you're not mad?" She probes.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Toby asks, bewildered. "I'm surprised. I'm a little concerned at how quickly it happened and how difficult it's going to be, but I'm excited. Aren't you excited?"

"Yeah," She smiles. "Yeah I am."

Just as that familiar smell of pizza grease, subway fumes and Nuts 4 Nuts greets Toby and Spencer when they arrive in New York, the roll of Spencer's stomach tells her baby Cavanaugh is not a fan. They barely make it down two blocks before she bends over a trashcan and empties the contents of her stomach into it. She needs to get away from the street vendors and the smell of car exhaust in the air and if someone doesn't cover that sewer grate, Spencer's sure she'll be puking for days. Toby stares at her the entire cab ride to 116th and Broadway, as though she's going to combust or toss her cookies once more. She doesn't, but that doesn't make him worry any less.

Most of the boxes they'd had shipped a week or so prior had already arrived. When they get the keys to their place and marvel sarcastically over their great view of the alleyway, they begin to unpack. Thankfully, the apartment was mostly furnished, so all they needed to bring was a slew of accents to make it feel like home. Spencer unpacks a box full of plates and silverware before curling up on the couch and promptly passing out. She's been complaining of feeling like she's "in a state of being perpetually hung-over" for weeks now and surely the intense July heat cannot be helping. Toby doesn't mind; her energy might be spent, but he's got enough for the both of them and finishes unpacking their things.

Afterwards, he begins to gather his wallet to make a trip for groceries. When he returns to the living area to tell Spencer, she's nowhere to be found. Their place is tiny and it doesn't take long for him to locate her in the bathroom. She's staring at her reflection in the mirror and doesn't acknowledge his presence, but instead says, "I don't look pregnant yet, but I do look as though I've had a breast augmentation."

Toby laughs and steps closer. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

She backs away. "Don't get any ideas. They hurt like a bitch, so keep your hands to yourself."

"That's fair," He holds his hands up in mock defense. "I'm going to head out for groceries. You want to come?"

"Yeah," She nods. "Let's go."

They stock up on all the staples, a selection of snacks and an array of fruits and vegetables, so Spencer can get all the vitamins and minerals she needs. Then she decides, halfway down the ethnic foods aisle (which she comments on, of course, it being surprisingly racist for the melting pot that is NYC), that she wants tacos for dinner and Toby, being the devoted husband he is, offers to make them. She can't stand to be around cooking meat lately; it's her latest aversion. When they arrive home, he browns up the ground beef, dices the tomatoes and tears lettuce from the head, as she sets out the plates and their drinks far, far away from him. He brings the shells, the cheese and the ground beef over when he's done, presenting them as though he were an actual chef.

"Alright, here we go," Toby grins. "Did someone order some tacos?"

But when he looks at Spencer, she's gone pale as a sheet. The smell of the ground beef, the texture, just the look, has caused this and she bounds up from the couch and down the hall. The sound of her retching snaps Toby out of his confusion. He places the food on the table and goes to join her. "I don't understand. It's cooked!"

"I can't… The smell," Spencer rasps from her place worshipping the porcelain throne. "You have to get them out of here."

"What do you want me to do with them, Spencer?" He asks, baffled. "Sell them on the side of the street?"

"I don't know, Toby, but get them out of here!" She says, hysterical. "Get them out! Get them out! Please get rid of them!"

"Okay, okay," He assures her. "I'll get rid of them. But what are you going to eat?"

"I'm not eating ever again."

Toby frowns and leaves her to her vomiting, tossing all the food he'd just prepared into a trash bag. Pregnancy is so much fun. Only six more months to go…

In September, Toby finds work rebuilding a community in the Bronx lost to a devastating fire. The work is difficult and keeps him away for long hours, but the pay is exceptional, so it's a sacrifice he's willing to make. Classes begin at Columbia University and Spencer is already in way over her head. Not only does she have her regularly scheduled classes, but she must also attend weekly seminars and sit in on psychological consultations, not to mention the part-time job she picked up at a practice uptown. But stress isn't good for her pregnancy, as her doctor helpfully reminds her every time she visits, so she's doing everything she can to stay organized and on top of every task she's assigned to.

She's a little over halfway through her pregnancy, now, and thankfully, things had calmed down. She still can't be around meat and honestly, she can't remember the last time she had any. But she's stopped vomiting daily and her body doesn't hurt anymore (well except her back, of course) and she's slightly less exhausted than she was in the first trimester. Spencer can tell that Toby is enjoying this part more too and she's sure it's mostly because of her heightened libido. The mood swings are really the part that Spencer could do without, though. She grew irrationally angry when she couldn't find a textbook (it was, comically, right in front of her) and she'd cried endlessly over an old Friends rerun because, naturally, the haircut Phoebe gave Monica really was tragic. No one wants to look like Dudley Moore.

Today, a rare day when both Toby and Spencer are home, they're headed to the OB/GYN for that infamous 20-week ultrasound. The visit prior, the nurse had told them that this was the week most couples learned the sex of their baby. Toby had found this tidbit interesting, then, and now, as they're waiting to see the doctor, would still like to know if they're having a boy or a girl. Spencer, however, does not. They're led back to a private room and the nurse measures Spencer's vitals before telling them the doctor will be with them shortly. Spencer's already on edge and Toby's prodding is certainly not helping.

"It would be nice to know," Toby says. "Because we can finally decide on a name."

"It's not that hard to make two separate lists," She counteracts. "Besides, you and I don't agree on anything anyway."

"I wouldn't go that far," Toby replies. "If we know the sex, we can start buying clothing and bedding and figure out what we want to do with the nursery."

"There's no nursery; it's a one-bedroom apartment," She bites back. "And we can always get unisex clothes and bedding. If you think I'm dressing my daughter in all pink or my son in all blue, you don't know me at all."

"Spencer, what is the big deal with finding out?" He asks exasperatedly. "Why don't you want to know?"

"Because!" She shouts and it shocks him to silence. "Because nothing can be a surprise anymore! We live in a world where information is at the palm of our hands with just a click of a button or a simple Google search! What is so wrong with waiting, huh? Why does everyone have to know everything? The element of surprise is what people used to revel in, it's something people coveted, and now-"

A knock on the door silences her rant and the doctor enters. "Am I interrupting?"

"Yes, please," Toby says and Spencer glares at him.

The doctor explains what they should expect out of the next few months and talks with them about how the pregnancy has gone so far, asking if they had any questions. When they negate this, she brings the ultrasound machine to life and squirts a bit of the jelly onto Spencer's growing dome of a belly. "Are we interested in finding out the sex?"

"He is, I'm not," Spencer answers, still seething, and the doctor chuckles.

"I actually see this a lot in couples," She tells the two. "If you want, Toby, I can tell you and leave Spencer in the dark."

"Wait, you'd do that?" Toby asks in surprise and the doctor nods.

"Of course, if that's something you want. It's more common than you may think."

Toby takes one look at Spencer's brooding expression and shakes his head. "No, that's okay. If she doesn't know, I don't want to know."

"Okay," The doctor smiles. "If your baby's in a cooperating position this week, I will know, so feel free to ask at any time if you change your mind."

She begins to glide the transducer along Spencer's stomach until the baby comes into view. "Ah, there we go. You've got a healthy little bugger. See that, right there? That is one strong heartbeat."

She adjusts the screen a bit and laughs. "Oh and look right up there- you've got a thumb-sucker."

Toby laughs too, pressing a kiss to Spencer's forehead and saying, "Look at our baby, Spence!"

And of course, this makes her promptly burst into tears. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into an embrace, crying, "I'm sorry! I was so mean to you before! I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," He tells her, kissing her hair. "You're fine. I didn't take it personally."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," She goes on and he pulls back a bit to look her in the eye, shaking his head.

"Nothing is wrong with you," Toby tells her sincerely. "The baby's just making you a little bit more emotional lately."

She nods, sniffling a bit. "I love you."

"I love you, too," He tucks her back into an embrace, making weary eye contact with the doctor, who softly chuckles.

"Ah, pregnancy," She comments. "Simultaneously bringing out the worst and the best in all of us."

Snow comes to New York in mid-December and, coincidentally, so do Veronica and Melissa Hastings. They decide to throw Spencer an impromptu baby shower (because of course neither of them could make the actual baby shower she'd had last week) and bring expensive tea, cake and things for the baby she and Toby would probably never need (a baby wipes warmer? really?!). But in all honesty, she had missed her mother and sister dearly, something she never thought she would be able to truthfully say. Their presence is greatly appreciated, especially since classes have ceased for winter break and Toby is off on a supply run and won't be back for a handful of hours.

From the moment her mother and sister arrive, Spencer's afraid they're going to judge everything. The furniture is second-hand and worn, the view of the alley is less than charming and she hasn't gotten around to the housework since she stopped being able to see her toes. But instead of critiquing and being nitpicky, they decide to comment on the positives. They love New York at Christmastime, the apartment smells fantastic and they really picked a great area to live in. They've even brought gossip for her- Hanna's pregnant, due in March, and Spencer nods along and pretends she didn't already know. Emily and Paige are off again and while her family speculates why, Spencer secretly knows it's because Alison has come back to town. And then, of course, Melissa turns the conversation towards herself.

"We really wanted to come visit you now because Wren and I are spending Christmas with his family in Surrey," She informs Spencer. "His parents have only met Vivian once, you know, right after she was born. She's almost two; it's getting ridiculous."

"An eight-hour flight with a toddler?" Spencer smirks. "Good luck. Where is Vivian, anyway?"

"Spending the day with daddy of course," Melissa grins. "They both wanted to see you, but I insisted we have a girls-only afternoon."

Spencer wants to point out that her niece is technically a girl, but her mother interrupts by asking, "How's your dissertation going?"

"Good, I guess," Spencer shrugs. "It's just going to be interesting when the new semester starts because I'm due not too long after that and I get, like, a two-week break."

"Have you lined up childcare?" Veronica asks. "Someone will need to watch the baby while you're in class and at work. It's not like you can drag a car seat with you."

"Not yet," Spencer hesitates.

Melissa lights up, saying, "Oh I'll have Teresa call you! She's our nanny. I'm sure she'll know someone great. We adore her and she's so great with Viv."

"I really wasn't planning on getting a nanny," Spencer frowns. "I don't want some stranger raising my child."

Melissa reacts as if she's been slapped. "They don't raise your child, they watch them while you get work done. It's the same thing a babysitter would do, only they get paid more to do more. Spencer, what did you think you were going to do? Wing it?"

"You really should think about it," Veronica sighs. "You're not going to be able to get any work done with all the distractions a baby brings about. Trust me, I've been there."

Melissa nods. "Me too."

Their words resonate within Spencer for the rest of the day and long after they've left. When Toby arrives home much later, she knows she must approach the subject with him. He shakes the snow off of his coat and hangs it by the door, greeting her with a kiss. His hands then splay across her stomach, asking, "And how are we today, baby Cavanaugh? You kick the crap out of your mother again?"

"Of course, what else is new?" Spencer replies, positioning his hands just so. "He/she is kicking right now."

"Ooh, that's rough," Toby comments, the vibrations strong even though there are at least three layers separating him from the baby. "Has it been like that all day?"

"For the most part, yeah. I'm looking forward to the coming weeks where he/she runs out of room and can't kick me so much," Spencer says as the two come to sit upon the couch. "So my mom and my sister came to visit today."

"They did?" He reacts in surprise. "They're a little late for the party, don't you think?"

She laughs a bit. "Yeah, just a little. They brought us some things, pestered me for information and gossiped, which I guess is just like old times."

"What were they pestering you about?"

"Whether or not you and I had set up childcare for the baby," Spencer admits. "I know that we haven't, not technically anyway, but it's just another thing we have to consider now. I've been thinking… There's a really great daycare center at the school and we could bring the baby there? That way, he or she would be there with me and I could check on him or her and I'd be there in case anything happened."

"Alright, that sounds great," Toby agrees. "So what's the problem?"

"The problem is, I get the standard eight weeks off work," Spencer explains. "But I'll only have two weeks until classes start up again and the daycare doesn't care for babies under six weeks old."

"Oh. Yeah, that is an issue."

"My sister offered us her nanny," Spencer scoffs and Toby snorts.

"No way," He disagrees vehemently. "I mean to each their own, but I have no interest in becoming those parents who hardly see their kid because a nanny takes care of everything."

"Oh good," She sighs in relief. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"We'll figure it out," Toby tells her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she settles against him. "Even if I have to take time off or you have to talk to your professors about extending your leave… We'll figure it out."

"Are you sure? We don't have that much time," She reflects. "It's only a matter of weeks, now."

"That's true," He comments. "It went by a lot faster than I'd expected."

"Yeah," Spencer says. "Doesn't everything?"