A/N- Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has stayed with this story and reviewed, favorited, and followed! I am so happy to see that it was well received! Thank you for all of your kind words and I hope you will let me know your thoughts on the final chapter!
-I own nothing from Glee!
Blaine had one wish for Christmas that year, and it was for his friends still in New York to spend the holidays in Ohio. Kurt knew what it really was, though, it was his way to be able to say goodbye to the people that were really important to him. Everyone knew by Kurt's updates that he had been slowly digressing, and so when Blaine's request was made, they all willingly agreed to pay the horrendous holiday airline prices to say goodbye to their friend.
"I can't believe you missed their wedding!" Santana hissed at Cooper.
He looked up surprised as she entered the living room, her eyes focused on him. He blinked, "What?"
"Don't what me! You missed Kurt and Blaine's wedding, and for what? To be an extra in some crappy movie!"
"Hey! I had a speaking part in Quentin Tarantino's new movie about Pearl Harbor. Blaine is the one who told me I should do it, and there was no way I could get off."
She glared at him, no one said a word or noticed as Kurt slipped into the room, "Your brother is dying. What do you not get about that?"
He stood up so that he could tower above her, "Listen, I don't know who you think you are but—"
"HEY!" Kurt cut him off and everyone in the room looked towards him, "Shut up, both of you; Blaine didn't invite you so that you could argue, just…let it go Santana. He's here now and that's what matters." Cooper sat back on the couch next to Sam, but Santana just continued to glare at Kurt. He stared at her for a moment, "He's awake," Her eyes softened a little, "He wanted to talk to you."
Santana's eyebrows furrowed slightly but she said nothing as she walked past him and down the hall to their room. When she entered, the room was painted with the deep orange color of a setting sun.
"Hey…Santana," Blaine smiled a little from where he lay propped up on the bed, "I wanted…to talk to…everyone…before I…came out there."
She moved to lie next to him on the bed and stared at him quietly for a moment, "You mean you want to say goodbye."
He nodded, "Yes."
She turned her head to stare up at the ceiling, her hand moving to find his and entwining them together, "Any advice for me for when you're gone?"
He smiled though she wasn't looking at him, "Be more…open…to the love…that surr…surrounds…you and don't…settle…because you…deserve to…be happy."
She squeezed his hand, "You've always been a sap," she looked to him, "I love you."
He smiled a little, "I love you too."
She stayed there with him for a while, laying together in comfortable silence, neither willing to give into the idea of crying, Santana left the room and sent Rachel to speak with him.
When she walked in, the comparison between her and Santana was almost enough to make Blaine laugh, and if Rachel was not already beginning to cry, he might have. Where Santana showed her love through the strength she gave those around her, Rachel was much more vocal about her own adoration. She crawled onto the bed, threw her arms around Blaine, and held him as she cried.
"It's going...to be…ok." He pet her hair soothingly.
She pulled away, "No it's not! Blaine I'm so sorry, this isn't fair! You are such a good person!"
He just smiled softly. While he had been able to pass over the anger phase, he knew that it was normal for Rachel to feel this way. He wanted to comfort her further, but knew there was nothing to be said. It wasn't fair and he liked to think he was a good person, but still this was his fate, there would be no miracle and he had accepted that.
"Just look…after Kurt?" He pleaded with his eyes, the one wish he desperately needed her to agree to.
She wiped her eyes a little, "Oh course…oh Blaine, of course I will! You know he looked after me when Finn passed away, of course I'll make sure he'll be ok. He'll be ok."
"Good…I need him…to be."
She smiled he moved his hand up, wiping away the last tear that fell. She lay down again and just held him softly and quietly as Santana had done previously. She too eventually left and he found himself face to face with his brother.
Unlike the girls, Cooper sat at the edge of the side of the bed where Blaine laid, "Hey baby bro." He said quietly, smiling sadly.
"Hey Coop." Blaine watched Cooper look him over, "I look…like shit…I know." He smirked a little, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask he had pulled on when Rachel had left, feeling a little breathless.
Cooper looked away, shaking his head, "I'm so sorry."
"Why?"
"I should've been here! I should've…shit Blaine, I have been a horrible brother and I should've let you hang out with me when you were a kid and I should've let you visit me for spring break that time when you were in middle school, and I should've skipped that stupid movie to go to your wedding!" He was crying now, his head resting in his hands.
Blaine reached forward and placed his hand on Cooper's arm, "You're here…now."
"It's not good enough!" He turned to his brother, "Jesus Blaine, look at you!"
"It means…a lot to me…mom and…dad aren't here…but you…are."
Cooper just leaned forward and rested his head on Blaine's stomach and cried that he was sorry and that he wished he could take it back. Blaine found himself rubbing his hand over Cooper's head like he had done with Rachel and started thinking that it was interesting how much consoling he was doing when he was the one dying…he guessed he wasn't the one who was really going the be stuck with the loss like they were, he didn't even know if he would be aware in any sense, but it was the people he was leaving behind that would have a space where he had once fit, and that space would never truly be filled.
Cooper did eventually stop crying and he and Blaine reminisced about their child hood and the fun times they did have. Blaine liked to believe that Cooper left feeling better about the kind of brother he was because if Blaine was being honest, he wouldn't want anyone else for the job.
"Hey man!" Sam broke his reveries, and Blaine smiled to him as he took the space next to him on the bed, "This is like when we used to have those movie marathon nights back in high school."
Blaine thought back to those times, back even when Kurt still wasn't talking to him and Sam would invite himself over and the two of them would watch all four Lord of the Ring movies or Star Wars or any of trilogy that they could find, only to fall asleep on Blaine's bed and wake up continuing where they left off.
"Those were…good times."
"Yea they were." They laid there in silence as they both thought about happier times, "Hey man, listen I need some advice and as my best friend this is your job."
"Ok?" He waited as Sam got his thoughts together.
"I want to propose to Jackie."
Blaine stared at him for a moment, no sign that he was joking, "You've only…been dating like…seven months."
Sam sighed a little, "I know but…Blaine I love her, and if anything you having cancer taught me that I shouldn't be afraid to tell people that I love them."
"You also…shouldn't propose…because…you're scared...to lose...her."
Sam looked down, "I just want her to know that I love her."
"So tell…her that." He thought for a moment, "Sam do you…know why…I proposed…to Kurt?"
"Because he was the hottest guy besides me that you knew?" He laughed a little when Blaine glared at him.
"I knew…that he was…it for…me."
"Jackie could be it for me."
"I knew…he was." He put his hand on Sam's shoulder, "There's no…rush. When it's right…you'll know."
Sam nodded, "You're right. I think she's going to be the one though."
"I hope…she is." Blaine smiled.
"I wish you could be there to be my best man…" He looked down again.
"Me too."
"I'll check in on Kurt from time to time, take him to lunch and stuff, so don't worry."
Blaine looked at him, his barely there eyebrows raised a little, "Really?"
Sam looked at him at that, "Of course, that's what bros do for each other."
For the first time, Blaine's eyes misted over a little, "Thanks Sam." He sniffled, but laughed when Sam put out his fist to pound.
When Sam left the room, Blaine took off the oxygen mask knowing who would be coming in next. A few minutes passed before he heard multiple people coming down the hall and then Mollie led Kurt, Kyle and Max into the room. It was decided that this conversation would happen as a group because 1. Blaine was scared of having to tell Mollie he was dying soon alone, and 2. They thought it would be more comforting if they were all there together.
"Hey…Mollie!" He said as brightly as he could as she crawled up on the bed. They had skyped often since the move to Ohio, so she was familiar with how Blaine looked and sounded.
"Hi Uncle Blaine!" She sat next to him and smiled a little, "You look like you need a nap."
The adults all laughed, and Kurt took Blaine's hand from where he had taken Cooper's spot.
Max began the conversation that they had all talked about and agreed on the night before when they had arrived, "Mollie, remember we had talked about how Uncle Blaine was sick and that soon he would have to go and live in Heaven?"
"Like with the angels?" She asked her father, who was sitting next to her on the bed.
"Yep, with the angels, you remember we talked about that?"
She nodded her head.
"Well, we came here so that we could all give Uncle Blaine a big hug and tell him how much we love him because he's going to have to go soon."
She turned to look at Blaine with her big blue eyes, "I don't want you to go."
Kurt watched as Blaine stared at her, speechless with increasingly wet eyes, he squeezed his husband's hand.
"It's ok, Mollie, Uncle Blaine is going to have a lot of fun in Heaven and he'll look down on us and make sure that we're ok, right Uncle Blaine?" He asked softly.
Blaine looked to him and then back to Mollie, "Right." He smiled a little, "It's going…to be…great." His voice was strained by emotion, but the words were as upbeat as possible.
"But why don't you want to stay here with me?" Her chin began to wobble as tears started to fall from her eyes.
"I wish…I could." Blaine too now had tears falling down his face.
Mollie threw herself at Blaine and squeezed him as tightly as a four year old could, "Please don't go! Please!"
Blaine looked to Kurt, sadly, not knowing what to do, but then hugged Mollie back as tightly as he could, crying almost as much as the girl.
Kyle had tears running down his face and Max had placed an arm on his husband's shoulder. He looked at Kurt and nodded towards the door before they left the room.
Kurt stayed where he was, his hand still being held tightly by Blaine, and he tried to send comforting hand squeezes every so often. Mollie and Blaine both eventually stopped crying, and they were able again to speak.
"I don't…want to…leave you…ok honey? If it were…my choice I'd…pick to stay…and play dress…up with you…every day."
"Why do you have to go to Heaven?" Her bottom lip popped out to a pout.
"Because it's…my time to…but don't…worry about me…I will make…lots of…friends and…in one…hundred years…you'll come…to Heaven…and we…can play…dress up...every day."
"Every day!?" She perked up a little.
"Yep!" He smiled, but Kurt could tell it was strained.
"Ok! Daddy and Papa said to tell you I love you, so I love you and I'll see you in one hundred years!" She said brightly before hugging Blaine once again.
Kurt could see the emotion building back up in Blaine, "Hey Mollie, what do you say you go back into the living room so I can talk to Uncle Blaine for a little bit, ok?"
She nodded, kissed Blaine on the cheek and jumped off the bed and skipped out of the room.
Blaine began wiping at his eyes, "Sorry…I don't know…why suddenly…I'm so sad. I've been…fine lately."
Kurt moved off the bed and walked around to lie next to his husband. Unlike the others, however, he pulled Blaine to him and let him hold on and cry for a while. He rubbed Blaine's back and told him he loved him over and over again.
Eventually Blaine did stop crying, however they continued to lie wrapped together. After some time, Blaine broke the silence.
"I'm sorry…I'm dying." He sounded miserable.
Kurt just hugged him tighter, "What did you just say to Mollie? This is in no way your choice, I'd be offended if it was."
"Still…"
"I know." He kissed Blaine's head and they continued to just be together.
Later that night, Blaine did join the 'party'. He sat in his wheelchair at the dining room table and picked at some turkey, though he could not eat much, and later he laid with Mollie on Burt's recliner while It's a Wonderful Life was played. By 9 pm, though, Blaine was ready for bed, and after saying good night to everyone, Kurt brought Blaine to bed.
Christmas Eve was the last good day that Blaine had.
The next morning, he struggled to get out of bed long enough to watch gifts be opened, and Kurt had to help him open his. He was in a great amount of pain, and the only thing that helped were the painkillers that knocked him out for hours at a time.
It was four days later, December 29th, that it happened.
Kurt woke up and looked at the clock, 3 am was shining green and he couldn't figure out why he had awoken. He didn't have a dream he could remember, he didn't need to use the restroom, and he wasn't hungry or thirsty. He stretched a little and looked around the guest room that now felt like home. A slight wheezing noise caught his attention and when he looked over, Blaine was laying on his side watching him quietly, the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose muffling the wheezing of his breaths a little.
Kurt turned towards him and placed a hand on his narrowed waist, rubbing his thumb back and forth, "Hey." He smiled, the moon outside creating enough light to see his features, the shine in his eyes.
"Hey." It, too, was muffled.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
Blaine shook his head a little but kept his eyes focused and intense on Kurt.
"Are you alright? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?"
He shook his head again and reached a tired, shaky hand up towards his face, slowly pulling at the oxygen mask. Kurt reached up and helped him move it from his face so it was resting against his neck.
"Better?"
"Yea…thank you."
The wheezing was louder now, more obvious, but Kurt could see that he wanted to say something.
"What is it honey?" He placed his hand on the top part of his neck so that his thumb was resting on Blaine's cheek, the skin on his face pulled taunt from the weight loss.
"I…" Tears pooled in his eyes but then he closed them, breaking eye contact for the first time. When he opened them again, the tears were gone and determination was there instead, "Kurt…I love…you." It was low and said between breaths.
He looked at Blaine for a moment. Really looked at him, and something about the way he said it; something about the look in his eyes. He knew. This was it. This was what they knew was coming for a while, but now it was here. He felt pain in his chest; the kind of pain that's so deep that you can feel it to your core, to your soul.
"I love you too, Blaine," He knew there should be tears. He knew there should be a long speech about how he couldn't live with out him. How he didn't want him to go and how he should keep fighting. He knew all of this, but none of it would come, "You've made me so happy."
All he could see was the pain Blaine was in everyday; the sadness and humiliation that lingered in his eyes when he or Carole or his father had to help him bathe or change him. He wanted a life with Blaine, of course he did, but he wanted a life that they could both enjoy; a life where they were happy and healthy, but this wouldn't be it.
Even if this wasn't the end, this wasn't what Kurt wanted for them, what he wanted for Blaine. He promised he would never say goodbye, but even though he didn't believe in God, he knew this wasn't goodbye for good, just for now,
"It's gonna be ok. You don't have to be scared." He rubbed his thumb back and forth soothingly.
Tears once again pooled in Blaine's eyes, "I'm scared…to leave…you. I…want you…to be happy."
Kurt smiled a little but tears finally found their way into his vision. He wiped a stray tear that fell from Blaine's eyes; "You don't have to be scared for me, either. I'm going to be so sad that you're not here with me any more, that's true, but I have so many good memories, Blaine, so many. You have made my life so happy, so full, and I will be happy because I will be able to remember all the wonderful times we had."
A small sob left Blaine and his face contorted in pain, "I don't…want…to go."
Kurt moved closer to him, wrapping his arm around his waist once again and began rubbing up and down his back, feeling the protruding bones of his spine and ribs. He kissed every part of his face that he could, his forehead, his cheeks, chin, nose, and eyelids. He kissed away the tears that were falling. Finally, he kissed him on the lips, once, twice, a third time, before moving far enough back that he could see his face again and smiled sadly, "And I don't want you to go baby, but it's time isn't it?"
Another, weaker, sob left him.
"Shh…It's ok. You're ok, I'm ok. I'm here with you. You're not going to be alone."
The wheezing was getting louder so Kurt placed the mask back on his face, "Better?"
Blaine nodded a little, he looked weaker than he had in a long time, "Will you…hold me? I'm tired."
"Of course."
He helped Blaine turn over and then moved behind him, spooning him and holding him tightly, their left hands entwining, the gold of their rings touching.
"I love…you."
He smiled sadly, knowing it would be the last time he heard it from him, "I love you too, baby."
"Promise?" It was quiet but he heard it.
Kurt leaned forward and kissed the back of his neck before closing his eyes and squeezing just a little tighter, breathing in the smell of Blaine.
"Forever."
He held his husband to him closely and after a while, Blaine's breathing grew slower, more labored. Every so often he would kiss the back of his neck, remind him that he was there with him for this, that he wouldn't be alone in making this last journey, that he loved him more than anything.
It was a little after 4 am when Kurt felt him go. It was quiet and peaceful and he just held him a little tighter after he was gone. He knew that he would have to go to his father and Carole and tell them, that he would have to call the funeral home to begin the arrangements that were already set in place, make the calls to the people who would want to be there, who Blaine wanted to be there.
He knew he had to do it all, but for now, he was content with the knowledge that Blaine was ok, he was gone, but he was no longer in pain, and that he got to tell him that he loved him one last time and be told that he was loved in return.
He leaned forward one last time and kissed the neck that was already cooler to the touch of his lips, "I'll love you forever."
Thank you again for reading! I hope you'll tell me what you thought!