Hey there! So the rain stopped, but it's like 28 degrees outside when Monday was 80. Go figure. Central New York, man. I'm telling you. You don't like the weather? Wait an hour. (Name that reference and you can get the cookies you didn't get yesterday). No one named my reference from the last chapter- it was Lizzie McGuire haha. Anyway, I quote TV on the regular, so that's that.

This chapter title comes from "Some Nights" by Fun. That song's pretty mainstream, so you might have already guessed that. Thank you all so, so incredibly much for continuing to read and for reviewing, favoriting, following, all that jazz. It really means a lot. I don't know if you understand how much. So thank you, thank you, and hopefully you'll enjoy this one! It stemmed from my frustration with their lack of discussion of the horror that was 3B on the show. Like... I feel like they should talk about it, you know? Whatever. Obviously they've talked about it in my universe- can't be married without settling some demons, after all- but every now and then, it's going to come up again. ;)

but i still wake up, i still see your ghost

A shrill scream pierces into the night, followed by a fresh set of hysterical sobs. Toby and Spencer jolt awake, a little disoriented, a bit lost, before realizing the source of the behavior and sighing impatiently. Toby rubs his eyes a little, placing a warm hand on Spencer's shoulder and saying, "I've got her this time."

Grace's third birthday had passed just weeks ago and had brought many new facets to her personality, but the one thing her parents could do without is her new nighttime companion. She had been having excruciatingly vivid nightmares for a week or so now and would wake up shrieking and nearly inconsolable. It was hard to get her to want to go to bed at night knowing what lurked in the shadows and waited to prey upon her tiny mind. It was even harder, they'd come to realize, to tell Grace that these things she's seeing aren't real and that they're only her imagination playing cruel tricks upon her.

Toby pads softly but purposefully to her bedroom and quietly creaks the door open. His heart constricts at the sight of his daughter sitting up in bed, tears leaking from her eyes, Mickey and Minnie clutched to her heart in a death grip. Her hair's disheveled, her blankets are on the floor and even from his place at the door, Toby can see goose bumps have arisen on her arms. He crosses the room and kneels beside her bed and Grace responds by dropping Mickey and Minnie and wrapping her arms around her father's neck instead. She's still crying; Toby can feel the tears drop onto his t-shirt. He rubs her back a little, asking, "Bad dream, Gracie?"

"The ghost was chasing me," She whimpers. "He had big teeth and scary eyes. I was running and hiding and he was right there."

"Where, baby?" Toby implores. "Right where?"

Grace says nothing but points in the direction of her closet. Toby shakes his head. "No way. Nobody scares my Grace and gets away with it."

He replaces her gently on the bed and crosses the room towards the closet. Grace shrieks, "Be careful daddy! The ghost is in there!"

Toby heeds her warning and searches every inch of the closet until she's satisfied. "No ghost, Gracie. Looks like it's going to be okay."

Grace is immediately upset again. "But daddy, he'll come back!"

"Do you want to come lie down in our bed?" Toby asks, smoothing her hair a little. "Mommy and I will keep you safe."

Grace nods fiercely and Toby scoops her back into his arms, Mickey and Minnie in tow, of course. Spencer's not shocked by the new company; she'd done the same earlier in the week. Toby lowers her onto the bed and Grace immediately crawls into her mother's open arms, curling into her side and sticking her thumb in her mouth. Her heartbeat slows, her breathing evens out and she's asleep within minutes. Spencer presses her lips to her daughter's forehead and Toby completes the circle, running a hand through her hair. She looks far too peaceful and innocent when she's asleep to be torn apart the way she is by her nightmares.

"What was it this time?" Spencer asks, her eyes not leaving her daughter's angelic face.

"An evil-eyed, saw-toothed ghost chasing her and hiding in her closet," Toby says quietly. "She's got quite an imagination."

Spencer nods but there's more lingering underneath the surface, Toby can tell. He wonders, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just hate seeing her like this," Spencer tells him but Toby eyes her pointedly.

"Spencer."

She sighs. "I don't want her to end up like me."

He dons a mask of confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I had terrible nightmares as a kid; ones that sound alarmingly similar to the ones that are plaguing Grace," Spencer explains. "And I had them as a teenager too and… We all know how I turned out."

"You didn't turn out so bad," He shakes his head, but it's clear that her projected fear is a legitimate one.

"Toby, I'm serious," She insists. "I was tormented for years. I had a mental breakdown and was institutionalized. And don't even get me started on the pill addiction and the rehab stay I have under my belt. I just… I just don't want Grace to ever have to go through any of that."

"And you think that a handful of nightmares means she's going to turn out exactly like you?"

"No," Spencer murmurs. "But that's certainly how it started out for me."

"I can't predict the future, so I can't promise you that those things won't happen to her," Toby starts out slowly. "But what I can do is remind you of the certain conditions you were facing that led to your transgressions. Your parents put enormous pressure on you to be the best at everything you did and were disappointed when you failed, as if they forgot you were human. I don't plan on ever being that harsh with Grace, do you?"

"Of course not," Spencer's quick to agree. "My biggest fear is turning into them. I would never want that."

"Okay then. Pill addiction solved." Toby says. "Your best friend went missing and was murdered but not really. You and your friends were at the center of the investigation and were coerced into believing you were guiltier than you'd realized. Lightning never strikes the same place twice; I don't see Grace having to go through this, but if she does?"

"If she does, I would want her to tell me everything," Spencer replies. "Which, if she's anything like me, she won't. But I'd do everything I could to help her. I would get her the hell out of Rosewood."

"Alright, that settles the tormenting," Toby states. "Anyone can see how these things combined might make you a bit mentally unstable. You were forced to deal with very complex, very mature things at such a young age and… I certainly didn't help matters. So if… If Grace ever got her heart broken the way I know I broke yours, I would beat the ever-loving shit out of him like your father probably should have done to me."

Spencer frowns. "You were not the reason I went to Radley."

"Straw that broke the camel's back?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that," Spencer says, so quietly Toby has to strain to hear her. "Let's be real, I was headed there no matter what. I couldn't take it anymore; all the pressure, all the lies, all the suffering… I felt like you were the only thing that was keeping me grounded; that as long as I had you, I would hopefully and eventually be okay. But then when I found out… and then that night in the woods…"

She doesn't have to finish. It might have been almost ten years ago, but it still makes Spencer's heart constrict and bile rise in her throat. It still makes Toby hate himself with an unyielding passion. "I lost my grip on reality. I don't blame you for doing what you did. But it still hurt, you know?"

"I do," Toby disagrees. "I blame myself. I know you forgave me, but I never will. I knew it would destroy us, but I thought as long as you were safe… I never knew Mona would go that far. I underestimated you and I sent you… God."

"Stop," Spencer shakes her head. "Just stop. I don't want you to hate yourself over this. You didn't send me anywhere I wasn't already going."

He hesitates but nods slowly and Spencer chuckles a bit despite the situation. "God, why are we talking about this? This was supposed to be about Grace."

"It is," Toby insists. "The truth is, kids have nightmares, Spence. And despite your childhood or even mine, I'm sure she's going to be just fine."

They glance down at their sleeping little girl and hope that Toby's words will ring true. They do; the nightmares eventually pass and Grace is happier than ever.