(At Dr. Gold's office)

"Can we just act like we talked and end it at that?" Sam asked annoyed at being there

Dr. Gold smiled, "and how is that supposed to help you?"

"Who says I need help?" She crossed her arms waiting to see how he would respond.

"We all need help Sam. Do you think that you can do it all on your own?"

"I never said that. I just don't think I need you."

"That's fair. And if this weren't a court order, the you wouldn't need to be here. But-"

Sam cut him off, "BUT you can tell the damn judge that I'm fine now. That I don't need a shrink! The evaluation is coming up soon, you can tell him then!""

He nodded his head in sympathy, " Sam. Lets not worry about that now. My evaluation is my decision and remember that it's dependent on how well we interact in these sessions." He raised his eyebrow at her.

Sam noticeably backed off, "fine." She sighed.

"Last session you told me you felt angry that your mother abandoned you and that you wanted to see her. Is that still true?."

Sam instantly looked up. He noticed her change in disposition at the mention of her name.

"Go on Sam. Remember nothing leaves this room."

She felt her face flush, " I, I saw her. I actually went to her house."

"How did Brooke feel about that?"

Sam frowned, "We had gotten into a fight. I took the fall for Sawyer and me sneaking out and we jumped at each other's throats. So when I screamed that I wanted to go to Rebecca's she freaked, but Julian calmed her down and I ended up going."

"How did you find her?"

"She found me and wanted to talk and reconnect. I hated her for it, but it was nice to feel needed. She kinda seemed desperate to see me. That's never happened before."

He scribbled down notes, "Not even with your parents now?"

She shrugged, " I know they love me, but their lives are so put together. Mine never was, so it was nice to imagine that I had the possibility of reconnecting with someone just as fucked up as I am."

"Did it work out?" He said softly

Sam felt her eyes water, "No."

He stayed quiet waiting to see if Sam was ready to talk,

She cleared her throat and steeled herself "Her boyfriend was a jerk. He, you know, tried to do stuff with me. But he didn't. Jack and the police came." Sam said this so matter of fact.

"Does it still affect you today?"

Sam looked at him perplexed. As if the answer was obvious.

"Sure it does. It's happened before though, you know, rape… when I was four, but you know that story already."

He nods and then asks her another question purposefully, "Do your parents know that story?"

She rolls her eyes, "No. But I'm pretty sure they know something like it happened. Dreams and stuff, it's hard to keep some things a complete secret when you get nightmares about them."

He writes something down. Sam sighs loudly, "Are we almost done?"

"Not quite."….Sam slaps the couch, "Damn it."

"Why are you so bent on keeping everything a secret?"

She cracks her knuckles, feeling noticeably more uncomfortable. "I don't. They know everything about what's going on in my life. It's pretty annoying actually."

"Who's they?"

"They as in Brooke and Julian."

"Your parents?"

"Oh my Gooodd. Yes, my parents. Geezzz."

It's just that last time you said parents, and now they're Brooke and Julian. Just making sure."

"You're so annoying." Sam said giving up.

"Like your parents?" He said with a joking smile on his face. Sam chuckled slightly.

"You said they know everything about what's going on in your life. While that may be true of your life now, it certainly isn't true about your life before them. From what I can gather they get glimpses of your past, through formal proceedings, and when ever you're stuck between a rock and a hard place and you have to talk to them." He lifted his glasses feeling a bit accomplished. The defiant stare Sam gave him meant he hit a nerve.

"Do you think I'm wrong?"

Sam took a deep breath, trying to think of something witty to say, think of something that would evade the emotion hitting her. She couldn't think of anything so she went for raw honesty instead, "I think I'm a crybaby. I think that Brooke and Julian, my parents, think I'm already as broken as hell. I have these moments when I break down and go back to a time in my life when I was nothing but a stupid child. I go back to a time when I longed for a mom that would hug me, and hold me, and tell me everything's going to be okay. A time when I wished there was a dad to beat up all the scary men that I've had in my life. I have that now, and I'm still a crybaby. I still get scared. It's like they're not enough, and I don't want them to think that."

"Do you think they're not enough?"

"I think they're more than enough. But it's like my whole being refuses to accept that and I still break down."

"Sam you've been through more in your 14 years than most. Healing takes time. You'll get better with time. But don't expect yourself to completely forget everything…that doesn't happen"

"I think it's stupid."

"What?"

"You asked why I don't tell them the whole story. It's stupid. I'm not gonna sit down and tell them everything that ever happened. It's embarrassing anyways. Like I'm some broken toy that needs to get fixed."

"From what I can tell your parents love you, and don't see you as anything less than a wonderful young lady. You're embarrassed to talk to them, but I'm sure they'd appreciate the truth."

Sam said nothing and stared past him, looking out the window. He knew he had managed to get her to listen.

"Anything else you wanna talk about?"

Sam's mind went to Jack. She didn't want to tell him, but she knew her parents were required to tell him about major changes in her life. Court orders. She sighed and knew it was better to get it over with now, "You probably already know I got shot."

"Yes, yes I do. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Sam hadn't necessarily talked about it, and felt it nice to get it off her chest, "I was trying to save Jack from X. His brother. He sent Jack a threatening letter. So we knew that something was going to happen soon. I was going to his house to make sure he was still okay. Thank God I got there."

"You're always trying to save someone. Sawyer, your parents, Jack."

"I love them." She said confused at his statement. Are you not supposed to feel this way about people you love?

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you try to save yourself?"

"What? From what? I'm fine. I don't need saving. You don't get it. I need to protect them."
"You almost ended your life trying to save someone you love."

Sam was disgusted, "Well it was worth it! Damn it! He would've shot Jack or Julian. It was better that it was me!"

"Are you saying their life is worth more than yours?...because they're not. Your life is just as important."

Sam sulked in the couch, realizing that she did weigh their life more than hers, "Well, I'd do it again anyways! It was my fault, everything! If I hadn't complained to Jack about Brooke catching me shoplifting in the first place, NONE of this would've happened."

"Are you going to go about life blaming yourself?"

"YES." She said adamantly and annoyed at his stupid questions.

"And how has that worked out for you?" He said bluntly. Maybe a little more than he had hoped.

"Damn it Gold, I get it. Okay? I just, I don't know. It's who I am. I protected Rebecca when I was little. All my foster brothers and sisters. I protect. And now, now that I have all these people protecting me, it's just weird. I mean, I like it, I do. I gush at their love, as much as I hate it. But late at night when I'm just thinking, I feel like I'm not doing my job or something."

Dr. Gold let out a breath, "Sam, you deserve it. The love, attention, protection. But you have to learn to deserve it. Protecting people is not the way to love. They ALREADY love you. Protect them as much as a 14 year old should, but don't overdo it sweetie."

Sam nodded once. She hadn't really thought about it that way. Was she so protective, because she craved love? Did she fear losing them, if she didn't protect them?

She looked at the clock and realized their time was up. She smiled, feeling relieved, "Gold, our time's up."

He jostled his papers, "Okay, but very quickly. How have you been dealing with the aftermath of all this. Have you had more nightmares, any trauma induced reactions that you can think of?"

Sam frowned. She had been wetting the bed on few occasions, and she's had more nightmares, but she didn't want to share that.

"I'd rather not talk about." She mumbled.

He frowned, "Fine. But, remember, it's normal to have reactions. They'll begin to wane, but you have to heal emotionally. Talk to people Sam. Talk, go out, breathe fresh air, but don't coop yourself up. That won't help."

Sam got up and shook his hand, "Peace Gold. Thanks." She felt confused and tired after all the talking. She hated the feeling she got after therapy. She felt frustrated and wanted nothing else but to lie down. Once she stopped and thought about all that went on in Dr. Gold's office she'd feel better.

Dr. Gold smiled at her, "See ya Sam."

Sam opened the door and saw Brooke reading a magazine, looking bored as hell. Julian looked very interested in the tv guide programming on the television.

"I'm done guys." She said making her way towards them.

They both stood up, noticeably pleased that their wait was over. Brooke outstretched her hand and pulled Sam in for a hug and a kiss on the top of her head. "How'd it go?" She said softly.

Sam wearily smiled, "Good, I guess."

Julian stared at her, "Do you want to go to school?"

Sam shrugged, "Umm can I just stay home today?"

Brooke sighed, these appointments always left Sam very pensive for the day, "Sure, you little knucklehead." She said rubbing her arm, "We'll take you home. But we gotta go to work. Is that fine?"

"I think I'll survive Brooke." She said sarcastically. Brooke rolled her eyes and moved towards the door.

… … ….

Michael's heart beat faster and faster. Suddenly he felt like an open book in front of Sawyer. Sawyer saw his uneasiness and felt guilty for her brash question.

"Michael, nevermind. I'm sorry, that was a stupid question." She looked past him and saw everyone rushing, "Look, I gotta go, and so should you. We're gonna be late."

Just as she picked up her stuff and walked past him he yelled back, "Sawyer wait!"

She looked back. He shook his head pushing himself to say something. "Look, umm, can we talk later? Like after school?"

The bell rang. Sawyer let out a sigh, "damn it" they both said collectively.

They both walked towards the corner, well aware, that security comes out picking up kids for detention. She spoke up once more, "Umm I have cheer after. And I'm getting tutored in English. Today at lunch?"

He looked at her and realized how absolutely beautiful she was. He got nervous and lost himself in her blue eyes.

"Michael?!" She said in a fast whisper.

"Huh? Wait, yeah, I mean, yes. Lunch, sounds good." She smiled. He saw the security guard getting closer, "Come on let's get to class. Will your teacher get mad for being late."

Sawyer sighed loudly, "I'll manage."

Once they turned the corner they were confronted by security, "Well, well. If it isn't the two lovers. Y'all are some late birds too!"

They both blushed furiously at his comment. "Let's go. It's detention for the both of yous."

They said nothing, but followed him, and the other horde of kids who didn't make it to class on time. The security opened the door to the detention room.

"Mistah Saawwwyyer" He sang. Lucas looked up and smiled at him, "What's up Joe. You got me my batch of rebel kids?"

"Shit." Sawyer said. Michael heard her, "What's wrong?" He asked her, "You've never had detention? It's not that bad. You just sit here for a period." He said jokingly.

Sawyer shook her head, "No, it's not that. That teacher's my dad."

Michael looked down, "oh…shit."

Joe blocked the doorway as he talked with Lucas. Sawyer grabbed Michael's hand, "Come on, let's move towards the back of the group." Michael felt his face flush at her touch, but followed her.

"They got you doing detention for the late kids today huh?" Joe bellowed. Lucas laughed, "Yeah, I guess gym teacher isn't enough." Joe laughed and finally let the kids through. Slowly the crowd trickled in. Lucas smiled at them. "Alright, come on. Sit down. No talking. You guys know the drill." Sawyer meekly came in last, right behind Michael. Lucas saw her and was caught by surprise. She felt his confused stare follow her to the desk that she found in the back corner. Michael decided to sit in the front. Joe didn't catch on to Lucas's confusion and kept on playing with him.

"Ya got two love birds sittin' right in front of ya today Luke!" The security guard bellowed. Michael and Sawyer both looked up. Sawyer's face reddened instantly.

I'm back guys, I regained almost all my vision now. I had a whole list of complications, but I'm back now!

Sorry I left this at a cliffhanger. But it was getting too long I felt. Tell me what you think! Also, please review. I have a whole barrage of make up work for school, but with enough reviews I'll try to keep the story up at a good pace!