AN: Once again, I did not write this. Nothing belongs to me except my own ideas. Okay.

Chapter 4

I SAID stop flaming ya preps, okay? Ebony's name is ENOBY now, I didn't misspell my own name, gosh! She's definitely not a Mary Sue, even though she totally is. Drako acts so different from Draco because they're not the same person! They knew each other before this story even though I didn't explain that, okay!

"DRAKO!" I shouted, "What in the flying fuck do you think you're doing?" (Geddit, 'cause we're flying?)

Drako, that fucker, didn't answer, but he stopped his broom and walked off of it, falling to his death for the second time that night. I decided to follow him, because after all YOLO (or in this case YOLT) and walked off curiously.

"What the fucking heck?" I asked angrily. This was the second time tonight Drako led me to my death.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped, angry that he didn't remember I randomly changed my name.

Drako leaned in extra close, and I looked in his gothic red eyes which looked so depressing and sad and evil and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. I needed to get the fuck out of there! I raced for my broom, but Drako pulled me back and showed me that it was a weird gothic contact, and I forgave him. For now, at least. Who knows with my temper?

And then...suddenly as I forgot to finish my sentence Drako kissed me passionately. He climbed on top of me and we made out and stuff against a tree. He took off my clothes and I took off his. Then he put his jackhammer in my you-know-what and we did it for his first time. I was done. And then, just as I was about to get dressed...

"What are you doing in the Forbidden Forest after curfew having intercourse, children? Get into the castle this instant, as soon as you dress yourselves."

It was...DUMBLEDORE, totally ruining the mood!

Chapter Question: Why do the characters consistently fall to their deaths instead of parking their brooms? Why do the sex scenes suck so hard? What will the real Dumbledore do to them?

Chapter 5

FOR SATAN'S SAKES, STOP FLAMING! If you are, you have sudden;y become a a prep or a poser, neither of which I can tolerate! The only reasonn Dumbledore killed the mood is because he was worried about students being out of bed after curfew in the Forbidden Forest! Okay, and on top of that, they were having bad sex! P.S. I'm not updating until I get five good reviews! Haha, jk, I will even if you don't, 'cause I don't give a fuck what you think!

Dumbledore made Drako and I follow him after getting dressed. It was scary because he didn't even look at us the entire time.

I started crying tears of blood for no reason at all down my ghost face. Drako comforted me. When we went to back to the castle, Dumbledore took us to his office, Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall (I don't know why she was there, she's not even our head of house) were there looking extremely angry and scary.

"I found these students out of bed, having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest, Professor Snape," Dumbledore ratted us out.

"How dare you?" demanded Snape. McGonagall looked us with a bit of disgust and disappointment on her face.

And then Drako, that idiot, shrieked like a little school girl, "Because I love her!"

Everyone was quiet. The professors all looked around at each other. Snape recovered first. "You teenagers and your disgusting hormones and lack of respect repulse me. I will deduct 100 points from Slytherin, 1 week's worth of detention for the both of you, and I will see to it that Dumbledore personally writes your mothers." Snape sneered. "You may get out out of my sight now, and go straight to your beds. If I find out otherwise, I might change my mind about expelling you."

Drako and I walked out and went DOWNSTAIRS TO THE DUNGEONS BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOMS ARE.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Drako asked gently.

"Yeah, I guess," I lied, becauase I was never okay. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a long black nightshirt. When I came out...there was a howl from the common room and I ran to see what happened.

Drako was clutching his ribs and I knelt by him. "What the fuck happened?" I asked.

"Well, I was trying to stand in front of you in your bathroom like a creeper and sing I Just Wanna Live by Good Charlotte, but I forgot like a complete numbskull that there are wards on the girls dorms keeping guys out," he pouted.

I was going to slap him and maybe ask why the fuck he was being so psycho, but he just looked so depressed and cute, I couldn't. We hugged and kissed, and I sent him off to his room.

Chapter Question: Was Snape fair with his punishment? Why is Drako an idiot that forgot about the wards on the girls dorms?

Chapter 6

Shit up preps, okay! P.S. I won't update until you give me good reviews, but as always I could care less what you think!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. Who the fuck kept moving me from the roof? I put on my school unifowm and black robes, and did not spray paint my hair purple, because that's a stupid color! Instead I redyed my hair blackest black again, because it was starting to be just black, and that simply wouldn't do.

In the Great Hall, I found myself craving some Count Chocula and blood, but as Hogwarts did not have those options, I settled for some toast and fucking pumpkin juice. Some assclown bumped into me, and knocked the pumpkin juice all over my top! Thankfully, it was black, so no worries about a stain, but still...

"BASTARD!" I shouted angrily. Have to keep up appearances, ya know. I regretted saying it because it turns out it was that total fucking hottie Harry Potter from Gryffindor. Sadly, he was a poser prep, and I couldn't associate with him. He was so sexy that my whole pale body got all hot and bothered and erective, except ew not in that way you perv, 'cause I'm not a guy!

"I'm sorry," he muttered after he stopped staring at my terrible makeup, no doubt.

"That's alright!" I said quickly. "What's your name?" I questioned, even though I totally fucking knew.

"My name's Harry Potter?" His eyes danced with confusion at how someone didn't know his name.

"Oh, hey. I'm Ebony Dark'ness blah blah, some shit I can't rememeber. I'm a vampire," I told him even though he didn't ask.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah," I roared like a lion. (Geddit, 'cause I'm talking to a Gryffindor?)

He then for no reason and uncharacteristically sat down at the Slytherin table to talk to me, instead of having breakfast with his friends. Drako came up behind me and said he had a surprise for me, so I went away with him without so much as a goodbye to Harry because I'm so fucking rude, and he'll probably never talk to me again.

Chapter Question: Will Ebony get over her anger issues? Why does she have so many names? Will she develop a friendship or maybe a lustship with Harry Potter by putting him under her evil enchantress trance?

Chapter 7

Well, okay guys. I'm only writing more because some lovely goths gave me five good reviews! *squeals* BEETEEDUBS PEOPLE, I won't write anymore IF you dont' give me ten good reviews, but let's be honest, I'm so good you will! ;) EVONY is totally a Mary Sue for the last fucking time! Okay, she isn't perfect because she's A SATANIST FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. Ohhhh, I used irony, you guys! She has problems, she's depressed for fucks sake! As always, preps and posers you need to G-O.

Drako and I held our pale hands together in some weird demented new way of hand holding as we went downstairs. I waved to Harry that looked surprise a Slytherin was waving at him, but he waved back because he's nice. I guess though, that it was secretly that he was jealous I was with Drako, because let's be honest I'm sexy as fuck. Anyways, I went with Drako to the common room and he performed a distracting charm around us in case someone walked in and decided to be nosy bitches. Then...prepare yourselves for another intense love scene...

We started making out slowly and tiredly and took off each other's clothes enthusiastically, ready to get this over with. He felt me up over my shirt, even though the stupid fucker had already taken off my clothers. Then we took off each other's clothes all over again, because once is not enough. He put his boy thingie in my boy thingie and WE HAD SEX. Is that stupid? I know it is!

"Drako, Drako!" I screamed, already getting an orgasm because it never took me longer than three seconds, when I saw his arm. IN BIG BOLD PRINT ON A HEART WITH AN ARROW THROUGH IT WAS THE WORD HARRY POTTER.

I was so fucking pissed.

"You bastard!" I shouted, not giving him time to explain, jumping off the couch.

"No, you don't understand!" Drako pleaded, but I knew too much without knowing anything really at all.

"No, YOU'RE A FUCKING CHEATER!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDS anyways, because I gave them to you!"

I put on my clothes all huffy and stomped out. Drako ran out with out putting back on his clothes. He was running down the halls buck ass naked!
He had a really big thing, and I was sooo attracted to it, but I was still to fucking pissed to care right now. Right now, I was concentrating on finding Harry Potter and ripping his eye out through his fucking skull. I made it to the Potions classroom, where I knew he had class because I'm a stalker.

"HARRY POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

Chapter Question: Why does Drako have a tattoo with Harry's name on it? Why are these sex scenes deteriorating in quality? Will Drako be okay living with AIDS? Will Professor Snape finally expel Ebony?

Chapter 8

STOP FLASSING, IT MEANS YOU'RE A PREP. Even though I don't know what flassing means...

Everyone in the class was totally fucking staring so I shot my middle finger at them so they would mind their own fucking business. Drako came in the room, still naked, begging me to take him back. The others started gagging, whistling, screaming, and laughing at his naked form.

"Enoby, it's not what you think!" Drako screamed. Once again that stupid fucking idiot got my wrong AGAIN.

Hermoine Granger stared at me in shock, probably because of the scene, and probably because I yelled at one of her best friends. She paused in the middle of stirring her potion, which was totally unlike her.

"What are you blithering idiots staring at?" Snape growled. "Drako, go get some clothes on! After that Howler from your father, I'm surprised you even show your face around here." The room exploded in laughter. "SHUT UP!" he roared, "I'm NOT FINISHED, and you will all do kindly TO GO BACK TO YOUR WORK." Hermoine at least obeyed instantly. "Now, as for you, Evony..." but I ignored him and shouted.

"HARRY, I can't believe you cheated on me with Drako!"

Everyone gasped, probably in shock that their beloved chosen one was into men.

In a random switch of viewpoint...I don't know WHY Enoby is so mad at me. I didn't even go out with Harry or anything! He's totally straight, though believe me I tried. I just used to be in love with him, and now I have this hideous tattoo that I need to get fixed because I'm not in love with him anymore. We're just friends.

Switching viewpoints again..."But I never even went out with Drako! We haven't even kissed for Merlin's sake!"

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off you bastard!" Like no one would want a piece of Drako. He's so fucking sexy. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest again, because I love pushing my luck on getting expelled, where I lost my virility (whatever that is) to that stupid cheating Drako. I burst into bloody tears.

Chapter Question: Will Evony get punished by Snape? Will Evony, Drako, and Harry work out their problems? Will Evony ever get her bloody tear problem fixed?

Chapter 9

Stop flaming, for the millionth time! I obviously didn't read all the books, because I love making everything so out of context! This is from the movie, even though it doesn't follow the movie either. The reason Snape doesn't like Harry is because he's randomly Christian whil Harry's Satanist, and it doesn't have a bit to do with Harry's father and the Marauder's bullying him! MCR ROCKS HARDCOREEEEEEEEEEE!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Drako cheated on me, even though it was so obvious he didn't!

Then all of a sudden, a horrible man with terrible eyes and no nose and everything apparated in front of me! He didn't have a nose, even though I already said that like Voldemort in the movie, even though it happened in the books AND the movie. He was wearing all black, but he obviously wasn't gothic. It was...VOLDEMORT!

"No" I shouted, fear tearing at me. But then Voldemort performed Imperius instead of Imperio for some reason, and I couldn't leave.

"Crookshanks!" I yelled, and then Hermoine's cat came bounding out of the castle, attacking Voldemort! But then I stopped, because even though I'm sadistic, I had feelings, gees.

"Ebony!" he yelled. Oh for fuck's sake, I thought, what is with people not keeping up with my name changes? "Thou must kill Harry Potter!"

Wait. Why is Voldemort speaking in Shakespeare language? And why is he having me kill Harry Potter for him? "Alright!" I shouted, "What have you done to the real Voldemort, you stupid poser fucker?" And then I had an epiphany. What is Drako was telling the truth? What if Harry really was straight and they never dated?

He gave me a gun, for some odd reason, even though I have a fucking wand. Suddenly, the real Voldemort appeared! And he performed the Cruciatus Curse on the poser! I laughed in spite of myself, because it's just so nice to see posers get what they fucking deserve. He glared at me, and said, "Just a follower gone rogue. But you may not kill Harry, that is my job!" He flew away angrily, just the same way that the imposter did.

Drako came into the woods.

"Drako! OMG HI!" I totally forgot that I was pissed at him, because he walked into the woods looking like sex on a stick.

"Hi." I got the feeling my charms weren't working anymore, and Drako was going to break up with me. So, I did something I never, ever do. I apologized.

First, I let out a groan/sigh and began. "I'm sorry I got all mad and stuff and made you run through Hogwarts naked because I didn't wait for your explanation."

"That's okay," he shrugged, and I smirked, knowing my trance was still working. We went back into Hogwarts making out while walking, which is really dangerous, don't try this at home.

Chapter Question: Who is this ridiculous imposter? Why was Evony forgiven so easily? How can Drako and Evony make out and walk at the same time?

Chapter 10

Stop it, you gay fags, if you don't like my story, you can go fuck yourselves, because you're all a bunch of poser preps!

I was really scared about the Voldemort imposter we all just left in the woods, and totally forgot about until now. I was even upset when it was time for my depressing gothic band to practice! I'm the lead singer, duh, and I also play guitar because I'm awesome. People say we sound like a mixture of shitty bands. For some reason, we got Hermoine, Harry, Drako, Ron, and Hairgrid, Hagrid's half brother that's our age. Only today like half of our group was all depressed and suicidal so we just fucked around. I knew Drako was probably cutting himself but I said you know what, he can resurrect himself because he's a vampire, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. As for Harry, he was probably trying to avoid Drako by watching some kind of movie like Legend or Labryinth or something. You might think I'm a slut from the way that I dress when I don't have class, and you are totally riiiiiight!

We were singing a cover of Helena and I burst into tears for no other reasn then because I could.

"Evony, are you okay?" Hermoine asked in a concerned voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily, once again being rude to my new friends. "There was a fucking imposter Voldemort that was in the woods and he told me to kill Harry, but then the real Voldemort came and said he was going to kill Harry instead!" Drako jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you tell me, you whore!" he shouted. "You stupid fucking poser gothic ass bitch!"

I cried and cried. Drako cried. We all went on a big cry fest.

Somehow we powered through the tears and practiced for another hour. Dumledore walked in, ruining our practice, his eyes gleaming, and I knew this time it wasn't because we were having sex. "I regret to inform you all that Drako somehow made his way back to his rooms and committed suicide by slashing his wrists."

Chapter Question: Why are Gryffindors and Slytherins mixing in a band? Why does Hagrid have a half brother their age? Where is Harry? Will Drako be able to resurrect himself in time to make an appearnace in the next chapter? I'm sure none of these questions will be answered in a non bass ackwards way.

Chapter 11