AN: Own nothing.

Chapter 12

Raven fangs baby for helping me again. I'm sorry we're both ruining the world's brain cells. Wait, no I'm not... ANYWAYS, I'm sorry I took your poster LOLZ Gerard is just so fucking always, preps, you can shove it where the Sun don't shine.

Harry who had suddenly come out of hiding, and I started running up the stairs looking for Dumbledore, even though he was the one that totally told us about stupid Drako killing himself. We were so scared for some unknown reason.

"Dumbledore, Dumblydore, Dumble, Bumble, Dumblydore!" We started screaming nonsesnse outside of his statue, hoping he would hear us. Dumbledore came out of his office.

"What is it that you want, children?"

"Voldemort has Drako, even though he was just dead a few seconds ago!"

He looked at us with great concern.

"No! Don't! We need to save Drako!" we begged.

"Okay, but I have some important ministry business to attend to as well. Why don't you children head off to bed? I'll collect your friend, and return him safe and sound." His blue eys twinkled at us warmly.

"Drako!" Harry started crying, and it startled me, because he never had unless someone died. (Don't you think crying, sensitive, straight guys are soooo hot?)

"It's okay!" I tried to comfrort him, but he didn't stop whining like a little girl and quite frankly, I was getting he had a brainstorm with pencil, paper, and everything. "I have a idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see," he said. He took out his wand, and we apparated to Malfoy Manor where Voldemort was staying at the expense of Lucius Malfoy, against Dumbledore's wishes, because really, when did Harry listen to him when friends were in danger? He was a badass. If only he wasn't such a prep...

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a voice say "Allah Kedavra!" but we weren't scared, because that's not the killing curse, just a very confused Muslim Death Eater. It was...Voldemort's imposter!

Chapter Question: What is a sexbomb? Will people stop flaming this story, or is it just too entertaining? Why does Drako keep resurrecting himself? Why is this Voldemort imposter Muslim?

Chapter 11

I SAID stop flaming up like The Human Torch, you prepzzzz! See if this chapter is stupid, just like me! Well, it is, but it deals with sirius issues! (Geddit? :p) Spelling see for yourself if it's ztupid, my new word meaning zany and stupid! BTW thanks to my bestie fo' liiiiife Raven for helping me fail as always! LOVE YA GURL.

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrified that Drako had killed himself without waiting for me! Hermoine tried to comfort me, but my damn temper came out again and I told her to fuck off, which I don't think she appreciated but who the fuck cares? I ran to my room crying to myself. Dumbledore calmly followed me trying to make me come back and be rational, but of course was stopped when I got to the girl's dormitory.

I started crying tears of blood again, which I really needed to get looked at, and then slit my wrists. It got all over my super gothic clothes so I took them off and jumped in the bath angrily. I grabbed a steak, and instead of eating it, I tried to stick it into my heart to commit suicide. But I failed, like at this story, and I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on totally non-sensical pajamas. I couldn't fucking believe myself sometimes. Then I looked out the window and screamed...Snape and Lupin were talking! This could not be good...they hated each other. Snape was taking pictures of Lupin chewing his food, but my narcissitic self thought they were taking naked pictures of me, even though I was already fucking dressed! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed, putting on a black Marilyn Manson towel over my clothes. Suddenly, Harry ran into my room somehow. SERIOUSLY, what is it with all these guys? I mean, I know I'm hot, but why are they always all over me?

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled, pointing his womb from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. Nothing happened, because, duh, that isn't a real spell! I think he was just trying to show off with this product thing. I took a gun out of nowhere, and shot Snape and Lupin several times, but don't worry, we all know that no one really dies in this story! MERLIN SAVES ALL. The camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbledork ( my now affectionate nickname for him in my head) ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Lupin, and then he waved his wand, I was terrified he was going to hex me or expell me for sure, and suddenly...

Hagrid ran outside, with Harry's broom following alongside him, and said we all need to talk.

"What do you know, Hagrid? You got expelled in your third year!" Once again, my temper (damn that temper) flared up again.

"HOW DARE YA?" Hagrid paused angrily. "I"VE HAD IT WITH YOUR TEMPER! DUMBLEDORE...REALLY."

And just as everyone was on the edge of their seats, praying for my expulsion, Snape cut in. "This cannot be," he changed the subject back to my accusation of them being pedos.

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled madly, much to the confusion of everyone as this had nothing to do with the previous conversations. I wasn't going to let my reputation for not answering questions, but just creating more questions go.

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly. "The lens may be ruined, but the film is still there! Proof that we are not pedophiles, Albus. I hope you're happy, young lady. I can't play my part in the Battle of Hogwarts, and my future child will be without a father."

"Oh, sod off!" I yelled, and everyone gasped. "Everyone knows you'll probably just die anyways!" Everyone was shocked and angry at me, because they know that when I curse someone, it comes true!

But deep inside, I felt faint, like how it feels when one's childhood dies with one terrible trainwreck of a fanfiction.

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin asked while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before, several times in fact. I didn't know whether to hug him or bite him and drink his werewolf blood!

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hagrid said, trying to think of a possible explanation for my rude behavior. A random singing valentine (even though it was Valentine's Day, but who cares, nothing has to make sense in MY story) sang to the tune of a gothic 50 Cent song.

After everyone cleared their heads from their confusion, Snape offered up his explanation. "Because you're goffik?" You could hear the venom in his voice.
Oh my Satan...

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Chapter Questions: Will ztupid be used anywhere else? Will Ebony actually commit suicide already? Does she know the difference between naked and clothed? Will she stop thinking everyone's out for her? Will the chapters get less confusing? Who loves her now?

Chapter 13

Fuck off PREPZ, okay! I don't need your approval, obviously. Raven, fangz for helping again, really. I'm sorry I couldn't update, you guys, I know you must have wanted to die, but I was in the hospital for slitting my wrists, and well...P.S. I ain't updatin' till I get 10 GOOD reviews. I know, I know, so reachable! :'D THANKS FOR ALL THIS LOOOOOOVE.

Oh, wait, whoops! WARNING: SUMS ARE EXTREMELY SCARY, YOU SHOULDN'T DO MATH WHILE READING THIS CHAPTER. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, KEEP IT CLASSY~

We ran to where imposter Voldemort was. Except, he wasn't anymore. Instead, some fat guy pretending to be Wormtail was. Drako was, of course, there crying tears of blood. Snaketail (yeah, this poser didn't even change his name) was torturing him. Harry and I ran in front of him.

"Leave now, you despicable preps!" he shouted as I started towrds him with a gun. Harry gave me a weird look, as he was gripping his wand. I was so angry that he called me a fucking prep! he Then suddenly stopped in the middle of a sentence, sorry. Snaketail looked at me and fell