Deliriousity: You have been given a gift by God or somethin', cause this is a flipping miracle. You've made utter, mind-numbing CRAP hilarious and readable - think you could do this with the Twilight series? :o)
Me: Thank you so much! As for Twilight, I don't think there is anything I could do with that, but maybe some day in the future, I will attempt a Twilight parody, just for you!
RunwithscissorsXXXbattlescars, thank you as always for all of your love and support! And yes, I'm glad you caught that quotation thing, it was deliberate :) Yes, Enoby is an enchantress. It was the only thing I could think of that would make sense for all these characters and plot points to be bending to her will. *shrugs* Yes, they only have cell phones because it literally says in the original B'loody Mary called the brooms xD And the castle bit will be revealed later on in the fanfic, I think O.o Also, thank you for your attempt to explain blonde faces! It sounds plausible to me.
Chapter 18
AN: I SAID STOP FLAMMING! If you do, then you are obviously a fucking prep! Fangz to Raven for the help n stuff, because I decided to be nice for once. YOU ROCK! N, you are not a nut. Seriously, no pecans or anything. Fangz for my sewer! How'd you know I needed a place to store this beautiful story? P.S. the only reason Dumbledore was wearing that stupid robe and stuff was he was trying to blend in to take down Volsemort and his Death Dealers, so there!
I woke up the next day in my coffin. What the fuck, did I black out?! I walked out of it without opening the lid, which caused me to be concussed when my head connected with the lid. "WHAT THE FUCK.
(The night before Drako and I had gone back to the skull (geddit it, skull because I'm awful at spelling?) Dumbledore had chased Volsemort away. We flew to the school on our brooms. We went to the common room and had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song. (I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN.))
Well, anyways, I went to the Great Hall. All the walls were painted black and there were posters of poser bands everywhere like Ashlee Simpson and not Backstreet Boys, because let's be honest, every 90's kid listened to at least one of their songs.
"WTF! I shouted. This smelled like Volsemort all over. Harry, Neville, and Drako came over. We started to talk about who was sexier (once again, trance) Mikey, Gerard Way, or Billy Joel Armstrong.
Suddenly a gothic old man showed up with a black beard and hair. He was the same person that had chased Volsemort yesterday, except he had on white foundation.
"DUMBLEDORE?" we all gasped, even me because I didn't do anything to him.
"WTF?" I shouted angrily. I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort.
"Hello, everyone," he said happily. "As you all shall see I hath given the room a makeover? What do you think?"
Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor started to cheer. We goffs just looked at each other disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!
"BTW, you can call me Albert!" HE CALLED AS WE LEFT.
"What a fucking poser!" Drako shouted angrily as we headed for Tranfo'mation. We were holding hands. Harry looked really jealous. I could see him crying in a goffik Way (geddit, like Gerard Way) but I didn't say anything.
"I bet he's having a mid-life crisis!" shouted Willow.
But, in true Hermione fashion as being the only logical thinker, which worried me because it meant my trance was wearing off, she said, "Guys, I think Dumbledore is an imposter. And I think that imposter is Volsemort."
I was so fucking angry.
Chapter Question: Should Enoby and the group stop doing drugs so she won't black out? Will they stop having bad you-know-what? Is Hermione right about Volsemort? Are the characters trances finally starting to break?
Chapter 19- I'm not a nut, okay, I promise.
AN: PLZ stop flaming the story, if you do your a FOKEN prep and so super jealous okay!11 From knock un, I'm going to dealt with your men reviews!111 (Serious author's note, I have no clue what that sentence was.) BTW evonyd a POORBLOD, so there! That explains why she's such an awful person! Fangz to Raven 4m the help!11
All day we sat angrily thinking about Dumbledore instead of going to class. We were all so fucking pissed off. What if it was Volsemort? Well, I had one thing to look forward to- the MCR concert. It had been postponed, so we could all go, because even though we had gone a million times already, apparently I'm going to make you suffer through one more!
Drako was being all secretive.
I asked what it was and he got all mad at me and started crying all hot and angsty (aren't entranced guys so hot?)
"No one fucking understands me!" he shouted angrily. He was wearing black baggy paints around his neck and a black die (geddit, because everyone wants me to die for writing this fanfic?)
"Accusing me? You think I did this to you, because you're totally right!" I growled.
"But-but-but"
"You fucking bastard!" I moaned, because apparently public confrontations turned me on.
"No! Wait! This is not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted. Even though there was nothing to look at at all.
But it was too late. I knew what I had heard. My trance was breaking, it was confirmed. I went to the bathroom angrily crying. I whipped and wept on my skin. It made cool tears run down my feces like like Benji in the video Girls and Boys (Raven this is sooooo our video!) I TOOK OUT A CIGARETTE END AND STARTED TO SMOKE POT.
Suddenly, Hargrid came rushing in, because we all know you can't apparate on Hogwarts grounds.
"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily, dropping my pot. "What the fuck do you think you're doing in the girl's room? How did you even get in?"
Only it wasn't just Hargrid, someone else was with him too! For a second, I wanted it to be Tom Rid or maybe Drako, but it was Dumbledore, which explained how he could get in.
"Hey, I need to ask thou a question," he said, pulling out his black wannabe-goffik purse. "What are you wearing to the concert?"
"You know who MCR is!" I gasped.
"No, I just saw there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks were going to attend," he said. "Anyway, Drako has a surpise for thou."
Chapter Question: Why does Tara keep writing the concert scene? Is this the moment we've been finally waiting for when all the real characters take over? Do you realize who Dumbledore is yet? Why is this the only chapter with a chapter title?
Chapter 20
AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, ya preps, okay! Fangz to Raven for the non-help! Oh yah, btw the way I'll be on vacation to Transylvania for the next three days, so don't expect no updates or nothing. Let's be honest, you will all be dying to know what other crap I've written!
All day I wondered what the surprise was. MCR was going to do the concert again since Volsemort had ruined the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR all night, feeling excited. Someone knocked on my door, and I secretly hoped it was Drako so we could do it again.
"What the fucking hell are you doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! "Are you gonna cum on me and rape me or what!" I yelled, because I made it so when I put everyone under a trance.
"No, actually. Can I please borrow some batteries?" he growled angrily.
"Yeah, so you can fuck your six-year-old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarcastically.
"Wanker," he said going away, probably because I was so rude when he only asked for batteries.
Then I gasped...Snap and Loopin were in the middle of taking pictures of the Giant Squid like I fucking thought! And Dobby was watching!
"Oh my Gods, you ludicrous idiot!" the shouted at me in sync, probably because they knew I was about to accuse them wrongfully of being pedos again.
Dobby ran away crying, because he saw what awful things I had done to his friends.
"WTF, is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked, even though he never asked.
"No, I WANTED BATTERIES!" Loopin shouted angrily.
"Well, you should have told me!" I replayed the scene for them, only I changed it to the two doing you-know-what naked and everything.
"You dunderhead!" Snap began to shoot his gun at me angrily and then I took out my black camera...and took a picture of the false scene! You could see that they were naked and everything!
"Well, excuse me!" they both yelled, "What was that all about?"
"It was to blackmail you!" I snarked on myself. "So, now, next time you see my boyfriend and I doing it, you don't expel me, or I will show this to Dumbledore!" I started to run, and they started to chase me, but I threw their joke wound at them and they tripped. Well, anyways, I went outside and there was Harry, looking extremely fucking hot.
"WTF, where's Drako?" I asked, thinking his trance had already come undone.
"Oh, he's being a bastard. He told me he wouldn't come. Something about you," Harry said shaking his head. "You wanna come with me? To the concert?"
As angry as I wanted to be at the possibilty of sane Drako, I agreed. Then...he showed me his broom, which he said his godfather Sirius Black had given him. On the handle, he had painted Enoby on it.
...I gasped.
We flew to the concert. MCR was there playing.
Harry and I began making out and moshing to the music, which let me tell you was fucking difficult. I gasped, looking at the band.
I almost had an orgasm, because as you all know, it doesn't take much. Gerard was so fucking hot! He began to sing 'Helena' and his sexxxah beautiful voice began to fill the hall...and then, I heard some crying. I turned and saw Drako, crying in the corner.
Chapter Question: What is Enoby's fascination with ruining Loopin and Snap's lives? Is Drako really still under the trance or has he hopefully resurrected himself?