I realised that I called Vulcan Horuseus 'Falcon Horuseus' instead in chapter 2 ;A; Sorry!

The song Dear Agony belongs to the band Breaking Benjamin.

~Tsubasa's POV~

After the first time, my vision was shot through with slight purple veins for about three days afterwards.

Dear Agony,

Just let go of me

After the second time, I couldn't go near mirrors or I would see the side of me that should not exist. Any reflective surface, and the voice takes over.

Children are afraid of me. Dogs bark at me and cats hiss when I go near.

What will happen the third time?

This wild and frightening side of me is tearing me apart.

Suffer slowly

I shut my eyes, but the darkness behind them smothers me like a heavy woollen blanket over my nose and mouth. So I keep them open.

The darkness in my room is more like a shadow, not like complete absence of light. The moon peeks through the glass doors of the balcony near my bed. I go to it, hoping maybe I'll find refuge in the sweet light.

I am losing sleep. Losing weight. Losing sight of what kept me anchored before this all happened.

The others have noticed something is up. I don't want to worry them but I can't take control.

Is this the way it's got to be?

I open the doors to the balcony and sit on the concrete panel that serves as a platform. When I lean against the bars of the railing, my shoulder fits through them. That never happened before.

What am I afraid of?

I am afraid that the darkness will take me, and I won't be able to find my way back. Afraid that somebody will notice something's wrong with me and I'll have to leave my friends and take refuge, away from them. I am afraid that they'll make me leave the team, make me leave the WBBA, take Earth Eagle away.

I'm afraid that I'll hurt someone.

That would be the ultimate offence in my eyes. Let them lock me up, send me away, take my beyblade; but if I hurt somebody, I'll never be able to live with myself.

Don't bury me

Through the bars of the railing, I can see the streets below. In many parts of this city, it never sleeps; this is not one of those parts. I can see the occasional car passing by in the distance, but my neighbourhood holds a quiet sleepiness at this hour. Most lights are turned off. I check my watch; it's 2:30 am. I haven't slept at all tonight.

Tomorrow - today - is the big battle between us and Wild Fang. I know if I don't sleep I'll never be able to do anything.

Then I realise - if I can't do anything, the voice can't do anything. If I can't battle, I won't have to battle. With Wild Fang or myself. I contemplate keeping myself awake all night. Not sleeping, telling them in the morning that I can't battle. Yuu can take my place.

But something drags me back into my apartment.

Faceless enemy

This is not how I live my life. It's not how I grew up and it's not how I'll start to be now. I have a dark side; so what? I will not let it change me. I will sleep tonight as much as I can, and I will wake in the morning to battle again.

My mother used to tell me, when I went through hard times - breaking an arm, losing a friend, losing a battle - things will always get better. Smetimes they'll get worse first, but they will always, always get better.

I'm so sorry

Tomorrow will wake with sunlight spun from sugar bouncing off my windowpanes, and I'll battle my hardest regardless of what's inside me. If I battle with a true heart, there will be no opportunity for my dark side to take control.

I was taught to never give up and I'm not going against that now.

My bed smells like the sweat I give off from my restless dreams, and the sheets are rumpled and tossed about. I settle on the couch with the TV blaring meaningless news. It will distract me enough for me to sleep.

Is this the way it's got to be?

I sleep with Eagle beside me, shedding feathers on the couch and blanket. He is like a teddy bear to me. He perches on the back of the couch with his hooked beak tucked into his feathers. He is worried about me, and I promise him I'll be all right.

I have to be.