Chapter Twenty Two

Walls, Masks and Smokescreens

He found himself wandering about his darkened apartment unable to stay still for long. He'd followed the same pattern all night since she'd taken off. The shocked stillness left him staring blankly ahead at his reflection in the mirror after watching her leave. Original Cindy stormed in a few moments later asking what the hell had just happened, he hadn't had an answer.

He didn't know what he'd just done, all he knew was he had a sinking feeling in his guilt that he kept trying to ignore and tell himself he'd done the right thing.

It hadn't felt like the right thing though as he'd gotten the call from Original Cindy as he was driving home telling him Max's bike wasn't in their apartment anymore. It also hadn't felt like the right thing when every single page had gone unanswered.

So he set about the pattern at that point, just stopping whatever he was doing, staring off into space and inside himself. Paused at the window, at his desk, at the couch, looking into the fridge. Just stopping, sometimes not even thinking, just stopping and feeling the weight in his stomach.

He tried to ignore it; first with work when that didn't work he stripped down and headed into the shower. Yet he'd managed to find himself with his elbows on his legs, his head in his hands as the water beat down upon him, he vigorously finished with his shower after that. He dried off, brushed his teeth, changed into fresh boxers, even threw on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt in case she decided to show up then slid into bed.

He realized quickly that had been a mistake.

He could feel Max's body underneath his hands. No amount of groans or twists could block out the taste of her mouth for long.

She could have been with him…

His mind inevitably wandered back to waking up with Max in his arms. That first moment of confusion before his eyes even opened wondering if he was dreaming. Then the reality was even better, how her hair smelled with his shampoo, her skin tinged with the scent of his soap…Neither had ever smelled so good on him. They weren't just the brief whiffs he'd normally get when she used his shower at the penthouse, not when they'd gone away for a week, not even the day before as they'd played husband and wife. Full complete exposure.

The scent alone had almost made him forget everything.

Paired with the feel of her being cradled in his arm, the weight of her body upon his, the feeling her jaw made against his chest as she talked to him…Even the leg tucked in between his own…He couldn't feel it…Just the knowledge of it…That slight sight.

His mind was flooded with images and feelings…From the start to the end.

Standing behind her looking into that mirror, the way their eyes had locked. Being beneath her on the hotel bed. That stunned kiss…barely being able to grasp what had just happened until he was driving away. Standing with her again, all the times he'd gotten to stand with her again…

Sitting on the couch with her as her leg had bumped into his, he'd knocked it back, she'd knocked his again, they did it for awhile before Bling had walked in to see what the laughter was about, how she'd smiled and said she had to go, the moment the door had shut, 'I've heard of footsies before, but kneesies man?'

The amount of daydreams and images that had flooded through his head as he rambled about his place trying to get ready for that date--dinner that he kept trying to ignore.

On the floor with her as Zack had interrupted with, 'Looks like I caught you at a bad time,' they both went flying backwards with shock. Feeling her in his arms later, first in that warehouse and then in her apartment as she finally allowed herself to crumple instead after remaining stoic in front of Lydecker and her remaining siblings.

So many moments since then…

Pulling sunscreen out of the bag she'd taken down to the beach, telling him he was going to burn. He'd halfway thought she was going to ask him to return the favor, he couldn't figure out if he was relieved or not when she'd smiled looking down at her skin, 'Gotta love Manticore's built-in sunscreen.'

Too many memories…

Too many touches…

He finally just shot up with a groan.

That's how it went, from too much activity to almost none.

He found himself pacing every once in awhile, pacing as it went in the chair, energy just needing to be burned and the outlet it wanted nowhere around. He almost made himself queasy a few times as he'd push the chair back and forth and swing side to side; barely even realizing he was doing it. The last time had been around five am and he still wasn't anymore tired than he was when he'd first come home.

So on went the exo and real clothes and his ability to pace normally returned; as did leaning against the window so he could curse at himself moments later since he now needed to clean the glass. Around six he made coffee, went through his emails again, even made a few notes before he finally went back to the window and stayed there as he watched the rain abate. A little past seven as the apartment was starting to lighten from the skies outside he heard the door as he was staring into the fridge without much interest.

He let the door shut and slowly turned for the footsteps that started after a moment's hesitation. It took his own a moment to start to move, he had barely gotten a few steps when she walked into the room.

His eyes went to hers first, searching her eyes, her mouth trying to figure out what her expression held, that tough look paired with just a trace of vulnerability, in it he was looking for that look he'd seen on a darkened night that suddenly didn't seem so long ago.

He didn't know what he saw in those eyes that tried to stay fierce or that mouth just slightly opened as it tried to speak. That's when he noticed the dampness.

The slight sheen on her face, he realized the curls next to it were damp and not gelled. His eyes traveled down, the shade of her black tank changed, her jeans darkened. The amount of bare skin showing reminded him it was winter, he remembered her jacket resting over a chair as he'd arrived at Crash after her, remembered the long sleeved black shirt following its route as she'd seem to make a show of taking it off as she complained about being hot, her skin had glowed proving her point.

He knew she'd just taken off, left everything behind, but he hadn't even thought about that. His mind knew she'd survived being plunged into a frozen lake, but still the thought of her being out there with the icy rain…

"Jesus, you're soaked," his reaction was instantaneous as his eyes were wide as he continued to take in her more than just slightly dampened form.

She looked down as if wondering what he was taking about for a moment, before her head returned upwards and the protective wall she'd put up returned, "Mother Nature decided I could use a cold shower," in those words was all of the Max cockiness and attitude he was used to, "why Manticore should have just left it to the professionals."

His lips twitched up in a slight smile, "Let's get you a towel."

She stepped back allowing him past, into the bathroom. She followed after a moment and was before him as he turned back with the fluffy white towel in his hand. They froze as their hands connected as she went to take the towel.

They didn't move for a moment, didn't speak until,

" Logan, I-"

"Max-"

They both smiled briefly.

"I'm sorry," he said first, the towel still in their hands between them.

She shook her head and he watched pain flash and disgust flash through her eyes as she started to speak. She stopped herself though, braced herself, "Gotta feeling that's supposed to be my line."

He hated that, hated how she'd throw up the walls, "Max," his hand moved of its own volition, moved to touch her just as it always seemed to, not grasping why it shouldn't. "You're freezing," he said as his hand snapped back out of shock.

She smiled, he saw it in her eyes first as they twinkled, her head moved down to the towel he'd never relinquished.

"Sorry," he said handing off the towel. He turned to grab another one.

She looked down at it puzzled as she rubbed her hair with the other one wondering what exactly she was supposed to be doing with two at the moment.

He smiled and bunched the towel in his hands realizing she didn't want it, "Max, I-"

She looked up, "Can we not?" she asked.

"Max-"

"You were trying to stop me I get it," she said.

He ignored the lurch downward his stomach took, "So we're okay?" he asked.

She nodded and smiled, "As long as you're not mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked as his hand once more went to her, this time cupping her face, holding her to him.

"Oh I don't know, maybe 'cause I just tried to jump your bones in front of a good forty people."

"I think I'll live," his words ended with a smile. He shook his head after a moment and pushed forth the towel in his hands, "I should let you shower, warm up."

"I think I'm just gonna head home actually, OC's probably worried," she said refusing the towel.

"You can call her Max," he pointed out.

"I'm just gonna go," she said with a quick nod of her head handing back the other towel. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

He followed her out, "You're not even going to change?"

She looked down at her clothes about to totally refuse when she realized by the look in his eyes in wasn't worth it, "I'll grab a sweatshirt."

Then she was gone again, but that feeling at the pit of his stomach wasn't.

AN: Was gonna do a long chapter, like normal, but yea I was lazy so you got a short one instead. Trying to keep doing those long chapters for this story is way too hard.

So before you ask flashbacks of where Max was/Max going home to her place next chapter.

Oh and more of a complete look into Logan's feelings two chapters from now, though it's more of just the back story behind what I've had him say before (yes I did actually have him explain in an earlier chapter).

Oh and seriously I am so sorry for the nine and a half million mistakes in the last one (though even now I haven't fixed them all), I swear word and the edit program on FFN have to be out to get me. How else can you explain how it could read bar instead of back in a paragraph I know I've read at least ten times:-D Sorry guys, I'm glad I have such smart readers who can fix these things in their heads.

Babyangel: Haha, I did have a Dark Angel dream, totally right after my Dark Angel binge, right around the same time I caught myself thinking about Dark Angel while out at a bar with my friends. That was odd, the dream though…All I remember was Michael…always a good thing, though not that good of a thing since I know how your mind works :-D You figure out how to get MW into my dreams, I'm sure my muse with roar back to life.