Chapter 4
[Ally]
"It's good to have you back," my Dad said with a sincere voice that made me glance up at him from my plate of spaghetti. I felt the corners of my lips curl into a soft smile as I nodded.
"I'm glad to be back," I replied, but he raises his eye brows at me.
"What's with the tone?" he questioned, a hint of amusement glowing in his gaze. I felt my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment and apology.
"Sorry, Dad," I quickly apologized, "I am glad to be back," I assured him.
"It's Austin, isn't it?" he quizzed, "Are you two still not getting along?"
"Why do you sound so surprised?" I grumbled, picking at the meatball on my dish.
"Well, I just assumed you two would have gotten over this. It's quite petty, if you ask me. You and Austin got through so much and you just tossed it into the garbage can and never looked back. It came as a shock when I first heard about it - Come to think of it, it still shocks me," he elaborates.
"Austin met with another writer, despite how great things were going between us - I mean, between our partnership." I bit into a meatball, avoiding his eyes but just his very air sent a vibe that told me he didn't buy that all of this was about our "partnership".
"Maybe he wanted to give you a chance to be your own person," Dad provided, "He could have figured that he was holding you back."
"Or he was insecure that I was going to ditch him-"
"-And then you did," Dad deadpanned with a nonchalant voice as he shoved a forkful of noodles in his mouth, sauce dripping on his chin.
"I did not ditch him!" I gasped.
He grabs a napkin and dabs his chin, cleaning the mess that had dribbled there. "Well, you did refuse to work things out and instead took off on that plane to L.A. and left all of us."
I gave him a look, "I did not leave you."
"Felt like it," he dramatically choked and I responded with a stifled laugh and throwing a napkin at him. Dad gave me a half-hearted smile. "I'm proud of you."
"What?" I looked at him, the sudden giddiness dropping and being replaced with a serious air.
He smiles more fully. "I'm proud of you." he repeated. I stared at him. My Dad and I were always close but he never told me that before. Not even when I got 5/5 on my very first spelling test in first grade. "You proved me wrong, Ally, and I admire that. I knew you were a smart and talented girl, but I never thought you'd actually make it. You were a small girl, working at a music store in Miami, I never thought you'd actually make it to L.A and become such an inspirational musician. You make me proud. You're an honorable daughter, Ally."
I felt tears prick my eyes, but I blinked them away subtly. "Thanks, Dad," my voice was softer.
"Any time," his gaze falls down towards his almost-finished meal as he scrapes his knife and fork along the plate and shoving food into his mouth. He swallows and adds, "I know you're here to do some work with Austin, but I was wondering if you wouldn't mind performing at Sonic Boom tomorrow night. I started having Entertainment Night's every now and again and I figured you'd be a special treat for the customer's."
After what he'd told me, I was more than glad to do something nice for him. "Definitely," I grinned. "I'll be there."
"Great," he smiles back at me and then we settle into a calm conversation about the weather while we finish our dinner.
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The Practice Room was silent besides the sound of Austin's fingers strumming the guitar. We didn't ever talk. Our sessions were more awkward than anything else. Austin would throw his things down on the chair and then head to a piano or fetch a guitar, meanwhile I'd lay on the floor, writing lyrics. No words ever spoken, just work and a lot of avoidance.
My eyes were staring down at the blank page that lay before me when suddenly Austin's fingers hit a particular set of notes and then suddenly: I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us, how we met and the sparks flew instantly and people would say they're the lucky ones.
My eyes grew bigger, "Stop," I suddenly blurted, "play that again."
"What?" he looked at me, confusion evident on his face.
"Play that again," I urged, impatiently. He hesitantly played the set of notes again and quickly I scribbled down a set of lyrics. "Keep going," I commanded and when he did: I used to know my place was the spot next to you / now I'm searching the room for an empty seat / 'cause lately I don't even know what page you're on. / A simple complication, miscommunications / lead to fall out / so many things that I wish you knew / so many walls up I can't break through.
I could feel his eyes burning onto me as I scribbled down the words viciously with each chord he played. My thoughts were running so fast, my hand could hardly keep up. Suddenly, I was singing aloud with the music as I spilled the lyrics onto the paper, "Now I'm standing along in a crowded room and we're not speaking/ and I'm dying to know if it's killing you like it's killing me, yeah / I don't know what to say since a twist of fate when it all broke down / and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."
"That...That sounds good," Austin suddenly let out when I stopped singing to focus on continuing to write down the lyrics I'd just vocalized. I glanced at him for a mere second, a small smile daring to tug on my lips but it never got the chance when I refocused my gaze to the words I was writing. "Keep going," he said softly, suddenly strumming the melody again. It took me a moment but words poured into my thoughts once again.
"How'd we end up this way? / You see me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy / and you're doing your best to avoid me/ I'm starting to think one day we'll tell the story of us / how I was losing my mind when I saw you here / and you held your pride / like you should have held me," I scribbled down the lyrics as I sang, "Oh, I'm scared to see the ending / why are we pretending / that this nothing / I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how / I've never heard silence quite this loud." I stopped singing and stared down at the words, when suddenly a smile came to my face and I nodded in satisfaction. "Great, this is good, then we can go into the chorus again," I told him and I went into the chorus, singing it out loud once more.
It took me a moment of nail biting and thought pondering but finally the third verse came to me, "This is looking like a contest / of who can act like they care less / but I liked it better when you were on my side / the battle's in your hands now / but I would lay my armor down / if you'd say you'd rather love than fight / so many things that you wish I knew / but the story of us might be ending soon." When I was finished scribbling down those lyrics, I went into the chorus again, right until I reached where I wanted the song to end.
"That was great!" Austin and I shouted in unison with enthusiasm. Austin and I went over the song, him strumming the guitar and me singing aloud to him. We made small adjustments to the chords and the vocalization of a few words, but soon enough we decided the song was perfect and we hugged. Hugged.
Suddenly, we froze. I pulled away and stared at my still open arms and then at him, I repeated this routine a few times before I let out, "Uh..." Austin swallowed hard and awkwardly scratched his neck. "Great work," I said, letting my voice seep into a nonchalant mode.
"It was alright," Austin shrugged, but him and I both know that we were both equally excited about this song - so far it seemed to be our favourite. That or the fact that the song was written so fast it blew our minds.
I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the awkward lump that had swelled there. "I'm, uh, I'm going to go back to Trish's and, uh, get ready for tonight. I'm, um, my Dad wants me to perform for his, uh, entertainment night." Before the tension could fall any further between the two of us, I shut my songbook and glanced at him for another second before leaving the Practice Room.
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My Dad gave me a thumbs up, standing behind the counter. I grinned at him and took my seat on the stool where I got wild cheers and a loud applause. The word had spread that I was going to be playing for Sonic Boom's Entertainment Night which had caused a huge crowd to gather in the store, thus making a happy store owner A.K.A. my Dad, because business was a success for tonight.
I glanced down at Trish who stood at the front of the stage with an encouraging smile, Dez stood next to her, a camera in hand. Like usual. I looked around for some unexplained reason but when my eyes landed on the blonde boy leaning against the wall near the back I knew that he was who I was looking for. I almost choked in shock. I didn't think Austin would come to watch. My cheeks almost heat up, but I refused to allow them when I refocused onto the crowd.
"Hi," I said sweetly into the microphone and letting out a small giggle. It didn't matter how many times I performed, I couldn't shake my shy quality, I learned to accept it instead. I heard a couple "woot's" from the crowd. "I'm Ally," I continued, my lips curling into a shy smile and I heard a few chuckles in the crowd that had gathered. I don't know why I'm so surprised that the crowd was so large, but I still was. "I was...I was thinking about playing a new song for you," the crowd seemed to approve of the idea as they clapped loudly making my grin widen. "I wrote this when I was looking back on a good memory." I gently strummed the guitar that I cradled in my arms, testing the sound, "Anyways, this is about a boy I really liked and he liked me, too. It's about how I felt during that period of time. This is called Say Anything."
"If I could say anything, anything what would it be?
A good question for our destined reality
I would tell you that I love you
Even when it didn't show.
I would tell you that I love you, baby,
By now I hope you know.
If you could go anywhere, anywhere what would you see?
Take a step in any direction, it's make believe
If your mind is always moving
It's hard to get your heart up off the ground
Yeah, your mind was always moving
But your thoughts never made a sound
And we won't break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
So, here we are now
You can say anything
If I could have it go any way, any way it'd go like this
Take it back to a couple years yesterday to our first kiss
In that moment I loved you,
This isn't how I ever saw it going down.
In that moment I loved you,
I wish I knew then what I know now.
We won't break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
So, here we are now
You can say anything
You can say anything
You should you listen to your heart
(you should listen to you your heart)
It's gonna tell you what you need
(it's gonna tell you what you need)
Take care of yourself
(take care of yourself)
And don't you worry about me
(don't you worry about me)
You should you listen to your heart
(you should listen to you your heart)
It's gonna tell you what you need
(it's gonna tell you what you need)
Take care of yourself
(take care of yourself)
And don't you worry about me
(don't you worry about me)
We won't break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
Well, here we are now
You can say anything [x4]
Always say anything."
I grinned towards the wooting crowd. For a quick moment, I thought I saw Austin clapping with a small grin on his face, but when I took a second glance, he was still leaning against the wall, looking bored and his arms were crossed. I turned my gaze towards Trish who was clapping louder than anyone in the room, I'm sure. I tried not to laugh at my Dad who was wiping away proud tears that rolled down his cheeks. He was a crier.
"Thank you," I giggled into the microphone.
"One more song," the crowd chanted endlessly. I looked at them, semi surprised.
"Come on, Ally, one more song!" Trish suddenly bellowed and the crowd ruptured with agreement that I needed to play another song.
"Okay," I finally agreed, watching the crowd high five each other. I giggled once more. "Um, how about a song that goes kinda like this..." I let my fingers strongly strum the chords, as I sang into the microphone, "Friday night beneath the stars / in a field behind your yard / you and I are painting pictures in the sky / Sometimes we don't say a thing / just listen to the crickets sing / Everything I need is right here by my side / and I know everything about you / I don't want to live without you!" I grinned at the crowd who sang along to my familiar song as I went into the chorus. My eyes met Austin's every now and then and I could see his arms twitching, as if he wanted to join in with the clapping but he never did. For some reason, it bothered me, but then I focused on the crowd and forgot about the boy whom I had a conflict with.
The rest of the night went great. I played a couple more songs due to my fans demands until finally people grew tired and decided to leave the store. I took off my guitar and a frantic Trish ran up to me.
"That was great, Ally! Another awesome performance!" she hugged me tightly with pride. I looked over her shoulder and saw Austin on his phone, texting. I grieved the fact that he didn't encourage me like he used to. If this was back when we were still partners, he would have been the first to run to me and tell me what a great job I did. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss that.
"Dez, let's go," he suddenly shouted to his best friend who was standing next to me. Dez waved at him for a quick second and looking at me.
"Great show, Ally. I recorded it," he gave a thumbs up and then walked away towards Austin. I watched them both leave and I saw Austin cast a glance over his shoulder towards me. For a split second, I could've sworn his eyes read something sweet, like he was happy for me, but then he turned his head and I could hear him laughing with Dez. It struck me once, or perhaps twice: I missed his laugh.
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